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Author
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Topic: "Tapper And The Iron Gospel" -- a new Empath story
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 01-30-2026 07:36 AM
Here is a new Empath: The Luckiest Smurf story that is currently in progress. Enjoy!
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Chapter 1
It was on a day during the second year of Empath being home for good from being away in Psychelia when Tapper knocked on Papa Smurf's door while he was busy in a private discussion with Empath. Papa Smurf opened the door and saw that Tapper looked ready for a hiking trip.
"Salutations, fellow Tapper," Empath greeted. "What's on your mind?"
"I am smurfing into the mountains for a period of fasting, my fellow Empath," Tapper said. "I will be gone for forty days and I'm going to leave Slugger in charge of the tavern until I return."
"Are you sure that's what you want to smurf, Tapper?" Papa Smurf asked. "I'm not very comfortable with you smurfing off into the mountains all by yourself."
"Trust me, Papa Smurf, I will be safe," Tapper answered. "The Almighty will protect me during my time of fasting."
"Most of your fellow Smurfs will miss you being in the village running your tavern, Tapper," Empath said. "This smurf can monitor you as you go off into the mountains to make sure nothing happens to you."
"I appreciate the offer, Empath, but I must decline," Tapper said. "Otherwise, I would not be considered faithful unto my Lord."
Papa Smurf sighed. "Well, I can't control what your Almighty has smurfed for you, Tapper, so all I can smurf to you is to be careful out there. We'll be in the village just in case."
"Thank you, Papa Smurf, I knew that you would understand," Tapper said. "Meanwhile, I will smurf my goodbyes to my fellow Smurfs before I leave." With that, Tapper left the laboratory.
Empath turned to Papa Smurf. "This smurf senses that he is very sincere about this, Papa Smurf. But this smurf doesn't feel comfortable letting him trek out into the mountains by himself without anyone monitoring him."
"We all must learn to let our fellow Smurfs go and smurf what they need to smurf on their own, Empath," Papa Smurf said. "It's part of becoming a good leader in the future."
---
All the Smurfs gathered together around the speaking mushroom as Tapper made his announcement.
"I'm going to be smurfing off into the mountains for forty days of fasting, so I'm smurfing Slugger in charge of smurfing my tavern until I return," Tapper said.
"YOU'RE LEAVING THE VILLAGE?!?" most of the Smurfs said in unison, sounding surprised.
"I hate Tapper leaving the village," Grouchy said.
"Tapper, laddie, are you sure that's what the Almighty wants you to smurf?" Duncan asked.
"I'm very sure of that, my fellow Duncan," Tapper answered. "I know that the Almighty will smurf very good care of me during my trip."
"I'm going to miss smurfing you at the tavern, Tapper," Smurfette said with a tear in her eye.
"I promise you that I'll be back in forty days, my dear Smurfette," Tapper said. "May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face smurf upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord smurf up His countenance upon you and smurf you peace."
"Be careful out there, Tapper," Hefty said. "We'll be here in case you need us."
"Thank you, my fellow Hefty, for smurfing out for me," Tapper said. "I will smurf you all in forty days."
All the Smurfs waved goodbye as they watched Tapper head off into the forest, carrying his backpack and his walking stick with him.
"Gosh, I never thought I'd smurf goodbye to Tapper," Clumsy said as he watched Tapper leave.
"He is going to return in forty days, Clumsy...I hope," Brainy said, standing next to Clumsy.
---
Things in the Smurf Village continued on as normal during the time Tapper was away, although his friends did become concerned with him, including Empath.
Papa Smurf noticed this with Empath. "Is everything all right with you, Empath?" he asked one time.
"This smurf can't help but worry about Tapper, Papa Smurf," Empath answered. "This smurf knows that the Almighty is looking out for him, but this smurf just doesn't have the same faith that he does."
"I can understand what you're feeling, Empath, but we have to trust that what Tapper is smurfing is for his own good," Papa Smurf said. "We can't interfere with what he's smurfing if he has such trust in his God smurfing over him."
"This smurf will check up on him, but will do so discreetly so that he doesn't know what this smurf is doing," Empath said.
Papa Smurf sighed. "That's your choice to smurf that, Empath. But be ready for the consmurfquences of smurfing that."
"This smurf understands and acknowledges, Papa Smurf," Empath said.
So during the day, Empath flew around the forest and also around the mountains, but did so in a manner that his friend wouldn't notice him doing so. Sure enough, Tapper was there in the mountains, looking rather undisturbed as he was deep in prayer, but hardly ever worse for wear.
Smurfette met Empath as he returned to the village. "Where did you go?" she asked.
"This smurf was just checking up on Tapper, to see if he was okay," Empath answered. "So far he seems to be at peace during his fast and solitude."
"I can't imagine having to smurf out in the forest like that, all by myself," Smurfette said.
"We'll leave him be for right now, Smurfette," Empath said. "The Almighty will bring him back home at the time appointed."
"I'll continue to pray for his protection, Empath," Smurfette said, sighing.
---
It was about a month later, after Empath had returned from one of his observations on Tapper, that he had a conversation with his fellow Smurfs about what Tapper was doing.
"I don't get why Tapper wastes his time trying to smurf outside the village for a month without food," Hefty said as he was drinking his Vita-Juice in the tavern.
"He is trying to draw himself closer to the Deity that he has devoted himself to, fellow Hefty," Polaris Psyche answered. "By abstaining from any form of nourishment, he believes that he would have mastery over the temptations of his physical form so that his Deity would be able to use him in a powerful way."
"So this whole thing is about his trying to please this imaginary God of his?" Hefty said.
"Fasting is also a form of purification, Hefty," Empath said. "Sometimes our bodies just build up a lot of unhealthy things that would make us sick if there is no way that we can purge them from our bodies before that happens. The Psyche Master would have this smurf undergo a fast every time this smurf returned to Psychelia in order to purge out all the things from this smurf's body from having to eat Smurf food for a year."
"Well, I still think this whole thing is ridiculous," Hefty said. "I can understand smurfing a good diet to keep yourself healthy, but I sure wouldn't recommend smurfing yourself to death just for the sake of your religion."
"Nobody is forcing you to believe anything, fellow Hefty," Polaris Psyche said. "Whether you choose to put your faith in a deity or not has no bearing on whether this one will continue to associate with you on any level you feel comfortable with."
"I'd be happy to just live and let live as long as nobody is hurting others with whatever it is they believe in, Hefty," Empath said, sounding like he was in agreement with Polaris.
---
Then came the fortieth day, and as the Smurfs were busy with their everyday tasks, Smurfette was the first to see Tapper return to the village, whistling a song and looking the same as the day that he had left the village. "Greetings, my dear Smurfette," Tapper said as he arrived in the village.
"Oh, Tapper, I'm so happy that you've returned safe," Smurfette said, greeting him with a kiss. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I couldn't feel any better, Smurfette, though I admit that I do feel rather famished from my time of fasting," Tapper answered.
"Greedy can help you with that, Tapper," Smurfette said as she took him to the kitchen.
Greedy was busy preparing for the day's next meal when Smurfette arrived with Tapper. "Well, well, look who's smurfed back home," Greedy said. "You smurf like you could use a good homemade meal from your days of fasting."
"I could certainly use a light broth, since I'm not sure I'm ready to smurf anything heavy just yet, my fellow Greedy," Tapper said.
"Just smurf yourself at the table and I'll smurf you up a bowl that will make you smurf all better," Greedy said as he gathered up the ingredients together.
The other Smurfs gathered around Tapper in the dining room as he sat and ate vegetable broth in order to gain his strength back. "I hope you didn't mind that Empath had to smurf watch over you during the time that you were smurfing in the mountains, Tapper," Papa Smurf said.
"Personally I haven't even noticed anything since the Almighty had smurfed my complete attention on Him, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "But there was something that happened to me on my final day of fasting that I feel is important to smurf with you."
"What was it that you have experienced, Tapper?" Empath asked.
"Well, it was similar to what the Almighty's Son had experienced during His time of fasting in the wilderness, my fellow Empath," Tapper said. "I had the sense that someone else besides the Almighty was there with me on the mountains, and so I smurfed that there was a Smurf-like figure who looked like the devil. He was saying to me, 'if you are truly a son of the Almighty, command that these stones would be smurfed into bread.'"
"Frilly flamingos, Tapper, what did you do then?" Sassette asked.
"I simply replied to him the same way that the Almighty's Son replied to the Devil...I smurfed him that 'It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that smurfs from the mouth of God,'" Tapper replied. "And then suddenly I found myself smurfed to the topmost part of a castle, and the devilish Smurf said, 'if you truly are a son of the Almighty, throw yourself down, for it is written, 'He shall smurf his angels charge over you, and in their hands they shall smurf you up, that you not smurf your foot upon a stone.'"
"This one can surmise that you didn't go along with that temptation either," Polaris said.
"Nay, Polaris, for I have told him, 'It is also said, You shall not tempt the Lord your God', not that I was saying that I was Him by any means," Tapper said. "But that didn't end there, for he then smurfed me to a mountain overlooking the entire forest, and there in a moment of time I could smurf all the kingdoms of the world. And that devlish Smurf said to me, 'All of this I will give you, if you would just bow down and smurf homage to me.' But I told him, 'Away with you, Satan. For it is written, you shall smurf homage to the Lord your God, and Him only shall you serve.' After that, I was smurfed back to where I was and the Almighty smurfed me that my fasting was over."
"So did you feel like it drew you closer to your Almighty, experiencing the same temptations in the wilderness that His Son had gone through?" Empath asked.
"Oh, I feel now like I can conquer anything through the power of Him who smurfs in me, Empath," Tapper said. "I can only wonder what He has in smurf for me now that I have proven myself to Him."
"You're not hoping that the entire village is going to smurf on a fast with you one of these days, are you, laddie?" Duncan McSmurf asked.
"I just want my fellow Smurfs to know the joy of being smurfed over in their daily lives by the One who has loved them from the beginning of creation, my fellow Duncan, including you," Tapper answered. "As I have yet to hear whether the Almighty wants me to smurf anything besides my bartending duties in the village, I will continue to serve you and Him the best way I know how."
"Anyway, it's good to see you smurfing back to the village safe and sound, my little Tapper," Papa Smurf said as he gave Tapper a hug.
---
Later on in the evening, Tapper closed the tavern early so that he could rest. Most of the Smurfs understood and left the tavern after finishing their drinks. Only Empath, Polaris, and Duncan stayed behind after closing time.
"Are you sure that everything is all right with you, laddie?" Duncan asked after the last Smurf had left.
"I need to smurf some time alone with the Almighty tonight, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said. "I feel that He may smurf a message to me on where he would want to smurf me after my fasting."
"You're not seriously thinking that He may want you to close down the tavern for good, are you?" Empath asked.
"I do not know exactly what is on His mind for me, which is why I am smurfing for His guidance tonight, Empath," Tapper answered. "If there is something He needs for me to know, I would want to be faithful and obedient to Him."
"This one is certain that the village will carry on regardless of what the Almighty may reveal to you during your private prayer sessions, fellow Tapper," Polaris said.
"That is my prayer for the entire village as well, Polaris," Tapper said. "Anyway, I will smurf you all tomorrow morning."
"Have a peaceful rest, Tapper, you deserve it," Empath said as he, Duncan, and Polaris left the tavern together.
"What makes you smurf that the laddie will smurf such a thing as closing down the tavern, Empath?" Duncan asked as the three were alone together. "You don't think that he's going to continue smurfing on as a bartender?"
"It's Tapper's own spiritual walk, not mine, Duncan," Empath answered. "The Almighty may direct him in ways that we cannot even begin to comprehend at this point."
"This one can only pray that the Great Ancestors will watch over him and grant him wisdom in such times like this, Empath," Polaris said. "Our ability to predict the future is quite limited."
"This smurf certainly knows that," Empath said, yawning. "Anyway, this smurf wouldn't mind returning home to write in this smurf's journal about the day."
"This one will accompany you, Empath," Polaris said. "May you have a peaceful night's rest, Duncan."
"You rest easy too, laddie," Duncan said with a nod. "I'll smurf you both in the morning."
And so the three of them departed, as Traveler watched over them from the top of a building, unseen by anyone. He too was curious about what direction in life Tapper was going to go in from this point onward.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 01-30-2026 07:39 AM
Chapter 2
Tapper was alone in his sleeping quarters, praying to God, when he noticed a light shining from behind him. He turned and saw that it was a Smurf wearing a gold suit with gold bracelets around his arms and ankles, having flaming yellow hair. "Are you an angel?" Tapper asked.
"No, but neither is this one a demon," the Smurf replied. "My name is Traveler, and this one has been observing you since your return from the forest."
"What do you want with me?" Tapper asked, sounding curious.
"You are standing at the crossroads of where timelines will diverge, whatever may be revealed unto you by your Almighty," Traveler answered. "This one does not know the mind of the Almighty, but this one can help you see a possibility of what may happen from this point onward."
"I know that what the Almighty will show me will be for the benefit of my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said. "What will anything you have to show me prove?"
"You are yet young in your faith and in your walk with the Almighty," Traveler said. "At such a time like this, you are still vulnerable to whatever temptations may come your way. This one is here to help you see to prevent your future from being corrupted by forces beyond this one's ability to contain."
"How will you show me what is going to happen?" Tapper asked.
"This one will enter your mind with just a touch, and you will see through the theater of your mind the things that one of the timelines you will enter will reveal to you," Traveler answered. "You will feel as if you have lived through the entire timeline, but the instant the timeline ends, you will be back in this instant of time, as if no time has ever passed."
Tapper nodded, understanding. "I am ready to smurf the journey."
"Then just relax and let this one touch your mind," Traveler said.
Tapper closed his eyes and felt as if Traveler had touched the very center of his mind. Then he opened his eyes and saw things very clearly.
---
On the next day, Harmony's horn summoned every Smurf around the speaking mushroom. Everyone gathered together, including Papa Smurf, to see Tapper standing on the mushroom to make a public proclamation.
"My fellow Smurfs, I have smurfed in my spirit last night that the Almighty has led me into the most painful decision that I ever have to make," Tapper stated. "I am going to close down the tavern and devote myself entirely to ministry within the Smurf Village."
Most of the Smurfs were shocked at this news. "YOU'RE GOING TO CLOSE DOWN THE TAVERN?!?" they said in unison.
"I hate the idea of Tapper closing down the tavern," Grouchy said.
"But, Tapper, what are we going to smurf for our night's entertainment?" one of the Smurfs asked.
"Yeah, it's no longer going to be any fun when we can't smurf drinks at the end of the day," another Smurf said.
And soon every Smurf started raising up complaints about Tapper's decision until Papa Smurf silenced them.
"I know how you feel about Tapper's decision, my little Smurfs, but if that's what the Almighty has led him to smurf from now on, we must be willing to let Tapper smurf his own path," Papa Smurf said.
"Well, I'd be willing to support Tapper's decision no matter how painful it's going to be," Sweepy said.
"I'm also going to be supporting Tapper as well," Barber seconded.
And soon every Smurf slowly started to raise their support for Tapper permanently closing the tavern.
"I thank you for listening to me, my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said, sounding tearful. "Now, if you will excuse me, I'll be talking to a few Smurfs about smurfing some changes to my residence."
After stepping down from the mushroom, Tapper went to Empath, Duncan, and Polaris. "This smurf senses that not all the Smurfs are entirely happy with this sudden change, Tapper," Empath said.
"I'm not entirely happy with this myself, laddie, but if that's what the Almighty is smurfing you to do, then I'll help you smurf what you need to smurf," Duncan said.
"This one will continue to monitor our fellow Smurfs to make sure this transition you're making will be a peaceful one, Tapper," Polaris said.
"I truly appreciate your help, my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said. "I'm sure that this will benefit us all in the future, because I see what the Almighty wants to smurf with this village."
"We will stand beside you regardless of what happens, Tapper," Empath said, putting his hand on Tapper's shoulder.
---
Over the course of the next few days, Tapper's Tavern went through a massive renovation. Gone were the counter, the massive keg that contained the sarsaparilla ale, the music box, the pool table, the shelves full of various liquors, pretty much everything that made the place Tapper's Tavern. Even the four-leaf clover shingle hanging over the door was replaced by that of a cross. Every Smurf watched as their beloved hangout was transformed before their eyes into something new, something that they haven't seen before.
The Smurflings watched the transformation from a distance. "Shivering shellfish, what's Tapper smurfing with his tavern?" Sassette asked.
"It smurfs like he's turning it into a church, Sassy," Nat answered.
"The tavern's going to be a church? This has got to be a bad dream!" Snappy said.
"I guess everybody's smurfing the same dream, because this thing is real," Slouchy said.
"What are we going to smurf if we can't smurf around here for our ice cream sodas?" Sassette asked.
"Guess we just smurf around elsewhere, if there is anywhere else we can smurf, Sassy," Nat answered.
"Tapper's smurfing a very big mistake turning his tavern into a church," Snappy said.
"Who knows if this thing will even catch on?" Slouchy said. "Come on, let's smurf elsewhere."
Puppy moaned sadly as he followed the Smurflings heading away from what used to be the tavern.
---
Tapper visited Tailor at his workshop as he was busy working on a pair of trousers. "Ah, what brings you here to see me, Tapper?" Tailor asked as soon as he noticed Tapper entering.
"I would like for you to smurf me a new set of clothes that would be appropriate for my new profession, my fellow Tailor," Tapper answered. "I'm going to need a long black robe with a white collar."
"A long black robe with a white collar?" Tailor said. "Don't tell me, you're going to be a priest!"
"That's exactly what the Almighty has called me to be now," Tapper said. "How soon can you get this done?"
"I can smurf your measurements now and have it be smurfed and ready for you in a day," Tailor responded. "Just step onto my stool and I'll smurf out the measuring tape."
"Thank you for your help, Tailor, I truly appreciate it," Tapper said. "I can't wait to start smurfing to my fellow Smurfs about what the Almighty has smurfed upon my heart."
"I only hope it will be worth losing our tavern, Tapper," Tailor said as he got out the measuring tape while Tapper stepped onto the stool for his measurements.
"Trust me, it will be worth it," Tapper said, smiling.
---
Papa Smurf and Brainy were busy in Papa Smurf's laboratory working on an experiment together when Brainy had a question. "Have you noticed what's smurfing on with what used to be Tapper's Tavern, Papa Smurf?" he asked.
"I have noticed some changes to it, Brainy," Papa Smurf answered. "Why, what's on your mind?"
"It's just that I'm not sure what Tapper thinks he's smurfing getting rid of the only tavern we have in the village and replacing it with what may be a church, Papa Smurf," Brainy said.
"I'm just as uncertain about it as you are, Brainy," Papa Smurf said. "But this is what Tapper's Almighty has been smurfing him to do, and I have to trust that Tapper is smurfing the right thing, even if I don't know how long it will last."
"Well, I have a feeling that Tapper's going to smurf beyond his boundaries as a proper Smurf in the village, smurfing up this church in place of his tavern," Brainy said.
"We'll just have to watch to make sure what Tapper smurfs doesn't smurf harm to any of us, Brainy," Papa Smurf said.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. It was Smurfette. "Papa Smurf, have you been smurfing Tapper lately?" she said. "He seems to be smurfing a bit strange ever since he closed down the tavern."
"Strange?" Papa Smurf asked. "Like exactly how?"
"Well, he seems too happy about what he's planning to smurf in the village," Smurfette answered. "All he keeps smurfing about is how he's going to totally transform the whole Smurf Village with his new ministry."
"You see, Papa Smurf?" Brainy said. "That's the very thing I'm afraid of right there."
"Brainy, you should be careful not to be so paranoid about how things will change in the village," Papa Smurf said. "If this change will smurf about some good to the whole Smurf community, I'm not sure I see the problem."
"Anyway, I'm starting to feel rather uncomfortable with Tapper, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said.
"I'll smurf a close eye on Tapper to make sure things don't smurf out of control, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said. "If anything terrible happens, I will have a talk with Tapper and make sure things will smurf back to normal."
"Thanks, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said, sounding relieved.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 01-30-2026 07:41 AM
Chapter 3
A few days later, on a Sunday morning, the Smurfs heard the sound of Harmony's horn, signaling everyone's attention to a public proclamation. Every Smurf got dressed and left their houses to gather around Harmony to hear the message.
"Hear ye, hear ye," Harmony spoke. "Today Pastor Nevin will be preaching a message today at the Smurf Village Chapel. Attendance is mandatory for all residents of the Smurf Village at 10 am. That will be all."
"PASTOR NEVIN?!?" most of the Smurfs said together.
"Who's Pastor Nevin?" Clumsy asked, sounding confused.
"I believe that would be Tapper Smurf, Clumsy," Brainy answered. "But the question is: what is he doing smurfing such a title for himself?"
"I think the laddie is smurfing such a big head, smurfing himself Pastor Nevin," Duncan said.
Empath and Polaris looked at each other. "This smurf is curious to find out the message that our friend is preaching this morning, Polaris," Empath said.
"This one is just as intrigued to find out for myself, Empath," Polaris said.
"Does that mean that we Smurflings need to attend this church service, Papa Smurf?" Sassette asked.
"I'm afraid so, my little Sassette," Papa Smurf answered. "I'm going to be watching the whole thing to make sure that things don't smurf out of control here."
"This should be interesting, to hear what Tapper has to smurf to us this morning," Slouchy said.
"I don't think he'd want you to keep calling him Tapper if he's now Pastor Nevin," Nat said.
"I don't care what he calls himself now, Nat, I'm still not going to listen to him preach," Snappy said.
"I hate Tapper calling himself Pastor Nevin," Grouchy said.
---
Soon the entire village was gathered inside the Smurf Village Chapel, which was the former location of Tapper's Tavern. A few Smurf musicians were playing a worship song, which most of the Smurfs who attended the service listened to rather than sing along to. Pastor Nevin appeared at the pulpit, wearing a long black robe with a white collar and also a dark green version of his soda jerk hat with a four-leaf clover embroidered on it. He looked like he was ready to preach a message that was burning in the very core of his person.
"My fellow Smurfs, we live in a time of great comfort," Pastor Nevin said. "We wake, we work, we laugh, and at the end of the day we gather together in peace. And that is a blessing—one we should never take lightly. But comfort has a way of dulling our senses if we are not careful. For when life is easy, we begin to forget what truly sustains us. During my time away in fasting and prayer, I was reminded of something the Almighty’s Word has always made clear: that life is not held together by bread, or drink, or entertainment—but by faithfulness. Faithfulness when it is inconvenient. Faithfulness when it costs us something. Faithfulness when no one is watching. It is easy to follow the Almighty when nothing is demanded of us. It is far harder to follow Him when obedience asks us to set something aside.
"Some of you have asked why I chose to close the tavern. Believe me, this was not a decision made lightly. That place held laughter, fellowship, and many good memories. But as I prayed, I came to understand something difficult: Not everything that brings us joy brings us closer to truth. Sometimes the Almighty asks us to loosen our grip—not because those things are evil, but because they have become too important to us. And when that happens, we must be willing to choose obedience over comfort.
"I do not stand before you today as someone better than you. I stand before you as someone who has learned—perhaps painfully—that faith is not proven by what we say we believe, but by what we are willing to surrender. True devotion is not loud. It is not flashy. It is quiet, disciplined, and firm. And it requires us to examine ourselves honestly. Not our neighbors. Not our friends. Ourselves.
"We often say, 'Live and let live.' And there is wisdom in that—so long as we remember this: what we choose to live by shapes not only us, but the community around us. A village does not drift all at once. It drifts one compromise at a time. One unchecked habit at a time. One unexamined desire at a time. Faith, if it is to mean anything, must be practiced—not merely admired.
"I will be devoting myself fully to ministry now—not because I seek authority, but because I feel called to responsibility. If the Almighty has entrusted me with a message, then it would be unfaithful to keep it to myself. I do not ask you to follow me. I ask you to examine your hearts. To consider whether the things you hold most dear are helping you walk faithfully—or quietly leading you away. And if that reflection makes you uncomfortable… then perhaps it is doing exactly what it should.
"Let us pray. Almighty God, search us and know us. Reveal to us the places where comfort has replaced obedience, and where habit has replaced devotion. Give us the strength not only to believe, but to act faithfully—even when it costs us something. Amen."
Then the Smurf musicians played, and Pastor Nevin sang:
We are a moment, You are forever,
Lord of the ages, God before time.
We are a vapor, You are eternal,
Love everlasting, reigning on high.
Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty.
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain.
Highest praises, honor, and glory
Be unto Your Name, be unto Your Name.
We are the broken, You are the Healer,
Jesus, Redeemer, mighty to save.
You are the love song we'll sing forever,
Bowing before You, blessing Your Name.
Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty.
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain.
Highest praises, honor, and glory
Be unto Your Name, be unto Your Name.
During the worship, a few Smurfs came to the front to kneel before the altar, feeling the conviction in their spirits. "Lord God, please save me, for I am a sinner," they cried out.
---
After the service ended, Empath, Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Duncan, and Polaris met with Pastor Nevin as he came out of the chapel with a big smile on his face. "So what do you think of today's message, my fellow Smurfs?" he asked.
"This smurf is really impressed by your delivery, Tapper...I mean, Pastor Nevin," Empath said. "This smurf almost felt like coming to the altar and confessing Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior."
"I thought you smurfed a good job smurfing before your fellow Smurfs and preaching your message," Smurfette said. "It was pretty brave of you to smurf such a thing to your fellow Smurfs."
"I'm going to miss the old Tapper, who's content with smurfing us with the best sarsaparilla ale in the village," Duncan said. "I think this isn't going to last long, and you're going to long for smurfing your old job."
"I thought that you would be supportive of me smurfing my true calling in the Lord, my friend," Pastor Nevin said, sounding a bit disappointed.
"I wouldn't be a true friend if I didn't smurf my true feelings to you, laddie," Duncan said.
"This one also feels a bit cautious about your new mission, fellow Tapper," Polaris said. "This may be an endeavor that may ultimately bring ruin to the whole village in the long run."
"I appreciate your honesty, Polaris, but I know what I'm smurfing here," Pastor Nevin said, trying to hide his hurt.
"I think we should smurf about this over lunch, my little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said. "Come, let us smurf to the dining commons where we may refresh ourselves after hearing your sermon, Tapper."
"If you insist, Papa Smurf," Pastor Nevin said as six of them walked together.
---
Over the course of the meal, Empath and Smurfette talked with each other about Pastor Nevin's first sermon.
"I never smurfed Tapper preach a message with such fire and conviction in his spirit, Empath," Smurfette said. "He really seems to believe everything he's smurfed in that sermon."
"But there's some things that this smurf noticed, now that this smurf is thinking about his message," Empath said. "First of all, he seems to frame faithfulness as surrendering comforts, not as communal wisdom."
"You don't think we should be smurfing faithfulness unto his God, Empath, no matter what it smurfs?" Smurfette asked.
"That's not what this smurf is saying at all, Smurfette," Empath said. "It's just that, after all the years of being in Psychelia and having tasted the freedom that this smurf has in the Smurf Village, we're being called to surrender the things that make us Smurfs into being holy like unto Tapper's Almighty."
"Maybe it isn't what you think it is, Empath," Smurfette said. "Maybe it's God calling us to a higher state of smurfing that we've never experienced before as Smurfs."
"This smurf is sensing that you're somehow attracted to this new version of Tapper that came back to us from his time of fasting," Empath said.
"Maybe I am, Empath," Smurfette said. "Why, are you smurfing to feel jealous?"
"No, Smurfette, this smurf doesn't feel jealous at all," Empath said. "This smurf can't control who you would give your heart to as the Smurf you would marry. But this smurf would advise you to be careful."
"I know what I'm smurfing, Empath," Smurfette said. "If I need your advice on anything regarding my relationships, I'll let you know."
Just then, Hefty sat down beside Empath and Smurfette. "So, what are you two smurfing about right now?" he asked.
"Oh, it's just about Pastor Nevin's sermon today, Hefty," Smurfette answered. "Why, what do you think about it?"
"I think Gospel Smurf's wasting his time trying to smurf out to the entire community like everybody needs to know about his imaginary God, Smurfette," Hefty said. "I'm still not convinced that He's real."
"Well, I believe He is real, and that He is trying to smurf out to us in love, Hefty," Smurfette said. "Who knows, He might even convince you."
"No thanks, Smurfette, I'm pretty much smurfed as it is," Hefty said. "I don't need Tapper's God to save my soul from anything."
"You're free to choose your own destiny, Hefty," Empath said. "This smurf will never tell you which direction you need to go. But at least you should give Pastor Nevin a chance to prove he is right."
"You want to believe his nonsense, star-face, that's your business," Hefty said. "I just want to smurf my best life here and now."
"I'll pray for you, Hefty," Smurfette said, smiling. "Then you'll smurf for yourself the truth."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 01-30-2026 07:45 AM
Chapter 4
A few days later, early in the morning, Empath noticed two packages on his front door -- one addressed to him, and another to Polaris. He was curious to find out what was in the packages. He tried to do a touch scan to see what's inside before opening, but something resisted his efforts. So he opened the package addressed to him, and found inside a book labeled HOLY SCRIPTURES. He opened and found that the pages of the book were identical to that of Tapper's holy book. Even the words were the same.
Polaris noticed Empath at the door with the book. "What is it that you have received this morning, Empath?" he asked.
"It is a copy of Tapper's Holy Scriptures, Polaris," Empath answered. "There's a package for you as well."
"Curious," Polaris said, opening his package. Inside was a copy of the same book. "It appears that we both have been given a copy of Tapper's Holy Scriptures."
"Not that this smurf doesn't appreciate the gift, but this smurf wonders if anyone else has received the same gift that we did," Empath said.
"This one is certain we will find out if we ask our fellow Smurfs about receiving a package at their doorstep," Polaris said.
After they both got dressed, Empath and Polaris went throughout the entire village and saw that each Smurf received the same package outside their doorsteps. Some have already opened theirs and found out that it contained a copy of the Holy Scriptures.
"What is this nonsense?" one Smurf asked.
"Did Tapper smurf each of us a copy of his holy book?" another Smurf asked.
"What makes him think we want to smurf a copy for ourselves?" a third Smurf asked, sounding a bit disgusted.
"I think Tapper's smurfing things a bit too far," a fourth Smurf said, also displeased.
"I hate smurfing a copy of Tapper's holy book," Grouchy said.
Just then, Empath and Polaris came by the Smurflings' playhouse and found the Smurflings with their copies of the holy book, looking rather confused. "Blustering buffalos, what's with Tapper smurfing us this?" Sassette asked.
"Apparently he wants everyone in the village to smurf a copy of his holy book, Sassy," Nat answered.
"I don't understand why," Snappy said. "I have no interest in smurfing it."
"I guess this must be part of Tapper's ministry to the whole village," Slouchy said, briefly reading through its contents.
Just then, Smurfette came along. "Empath, Polaris, did you both receive a copy of Tapper's holy book outside your house this morning?" she asked.
"This smurf and Polaris have both received a copy, Smurfette," Empath answered. "This smurf senses that you may have received the same package as everybody else."
"I did, Empath, and that makes me wonder what Tapper is trying to smurf here," Smurfette said.
"This one can only guess that Tapper wants to make sure that everybody in the village has their own copy of his Holy Scriptures so that they could read and study at their own leisure, Smurfette," Polaris said.
"That sounds noble of him, Empath, but I don't want to have a gift like that be smurfed unto me without my consent," Smurfette said. "I'm going to smurf a personal talk with him to see what his true intentions are."
"Just be careful, Smurfette," Empath warned. "He may take asking him about the gift as an insult or an attack."
"I'll be gentle with him, Empath, I promise," Smurfette said before she walked away.
"We might as well visit Papa Smurf and see what he has to say about these Holy Scriptures being given to every Smurf in the village, Empath," Polaris advised.
"That sounds like a good idea, Polaris," Empath said as he and Polaris headed for the center of the village.
---
Papa Smurf was busy taking care of Baby Smurf inside his house when he heard knocking on his door. He opened and saw that it was Empath and Polaris. "Good morning," he greeted. "What may I smurf you two with?"
"Papa Smurf, every Smurf in the village seems to have received a copy of Tapper's Holy Scriptures this morning," Empath said. "It appears that you may also have received a copy as well."
"I'm already aware of it, Empath," Papa Smurf said, producing a copy to show Empath and Polaris. "Tapper smurfed me a message about it with my copy, explaining the purpose of every Smurf receiving theirs."
"What did Tapper have to say about these copies, Papa Smurf?" Polaris asked.
"Let me read the message," Papa Smurf answered, putting on his glasses so he could read it clearly. "He says that, according to the leading of the Almighty, every Smurf in the village should smurf a copy of God's Word so that they could study it and learn to obey everything that it smurfs."
"It seems that Tapper is trying to exert more authority in the village than what is proper for him to have as a religious leader, Papa Smurf," Polaris said.
"What are you going to do about it, Papa Smurf?" Empath asked.
"I'm going to continue to watch over Tapper to make sure he doesn't smurf beyond his boundaries, Empath," Papa Smurf answered. "But as for these copies of the Holy Scriptures, I'll leave that for every Smurf to decide what to smurf with theirs. I'm not going to force them to smurf one way or the other if this is just a harmless gift like Brainy's Quotations books."
Just then, Brainy and Duncan came to Papa Smurf's door. "Papa Smurf, did you receive a copy of Tapper's holy book?" Brainy asked.
"I have received my copy this morning, Brainy," Papa Smurf answered. "I'm sure you must have received yours as well."
"Aye, and I think the laddie may be smurfing his religion unto his fellow Smurfs whether they want it or not, Papa Smurf," Duncan said. "This doesn't seem like the Tapper that I used to know."
"I think Tapper is trying to compete with me, smurfing his knowledge and wisdom to the general populace who may not all be ready to receive it," Brainy said. "Smurfness knows how hard it is for me to get other Smurfs to smurf my books."
"You're not going to let Tapper try to smurf over the village with his religion now, are you, Papa?" Duncan asked.
"I'm sure that we can smurf things under control when it smurfs to Tapper's ministry, Duncan," Papa Smurf answered. "We just have to be watchful and not get too oversmurfed about what Tapper may be smurfing with his religion."
"We'll keep close tabs on Tapper, Papa Smurf, I promise," Empath said.
---
Pastor Nevin was busy studying the Scriptures in his chapel when he heard a knock on his door. He opened it and saw that it was Smurfette. "Smurf o' the morning to you, my dear Smurfette," he greeted. "Come in and smurf with me with what's on your mind."
Smurfette came in and sat in one of the pews. "Tapper...I mean, Pastor Nevin...I'm just wondering what's with you smurfing each of us a copy of your Holy Scriptures," she said. "I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the gift, but I am rather curious as to what you plan for each Smurf to smurf with their copies."
"I only want what's best for each Smurf in the village, Smurfette, and what the Almighty has led me to smurf is to make sure that every Smurf would have knowledge of the Holy Scriptures so that they will be faithful and obedient, and that their prayers to the Almighty won't become abominations, as the Proverbs warns us about," Pastor Nevin said.
"Are you sure that's all you want?" Smurfette asked. "Not all the Smurfs may be in agreement with you about that."
"I would never lie to you about my intentions, Smurfette," Pastor Nevin answered. "Everything I smurf for my fellow Smurfs is for their benefit, that they may come to know the Almighty for themselves and smurf a relationship with Him, so that they may smurf the holiness without which no one will smurf the Lord when they smurf on from this life. You do believe me, don't you?"
"I believe you, Tapper," Smurfette said before she smiled and blushed. "I'm sorry...I should call you by your proper title now."
"It's all right, Smurfette, you don't have to smurf so proper with me when it's just you and I smurfing together," Pastor Nevin said. "I can sense in my spirit that you're attracted to me in a way that I can barely begin to understand."
"I thought that you are a charismurfic speaker, Tapper, even better than Brainy at times," Smurfette said. "I just want to smurf my appreciation for you smurfing the village on the right path."
With that, Smurfette gave Pastor Nevin a slight kiss on the mouth. He recoiled slightly, as if he didn't expect that kind of reaction.
Smurfette looked away in shame. "I'm sorry, Tapper. Maybe I shouldn't have smurfed that to you."
"You haven't smurfed anything wrong to me, Smurfette...just a little unexpected," Pastor Nevin said. "Maybe we should smurf our interactions with each other on a purely professional level for right now...at least in public. We don't want to have other Smurfs gossiping about what's smurfing on behind closed doors."
Smurfette nodded, understanding. "I will remember that, Pastor Nevin. Thank you."
---
Empath and Polaris were watching what was going on in the village when Smurfette approached them. "So did you have a talk with Tapper about the holy books being passed out, Smurfette?" Empath asked.
"I have...and they're nothing for you to worry about, Empath," Smurfette answered. "Tapper just wants every Smurf to know about God's Word so that they can smurf in faith with the Almighty."
"This one senses that there was more going on between you and Pastor Nevin than what you're comfortable with sharing, Smurfette," Polaris noted.
"Yes...and it's really none of anyone's smurfness what I feel for Tapper," Smurfette said, a bit defensively.
"We'll protect your privacy if your heart feels led to Pastor Nevin, Smurfette," Empath said. "But this smurf would still advise you to be careful. You do not know how this relationship with him is going to turn out, that he may do something terrible to you."
"I'm very careful with who I smurf, Empath, trust me," Smurfette said before she walked off.
Empath and Polaris looked at each other. "If Smurfette is developing intimate feelings for Tapper, Empath, who knows what might happen and which direction this relationship will go in," Polaris said.
Empath sighed. "Let's hope that Smurfette doesn't go in over her head when it comes to such a relationship. If Tapper is a really changed Smurf from what he was before, this may prove to be very dangerous for the both of them."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Sassette
Moderator
Member # 2
Member Rated:
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posted 01-31-2026 10:36 AM
I was curious to look up the origins of the name Nevin.
"The name Nevin is of Irish origin and has multiple meanings. It is derived from the Gaelic name Naoimhín, which means "little saint" or "holy one." Nevin can also be traced back to the Welsh name Nefydd, meaning "heavenly" or "divine." Overall, the name Nevin carries connotations of spirituality, goodness, and a connection to the divine."
I look forward to reading more of this compelling story.
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Have a smurfy day!
Posts: 4627 | From: Smurfingland | Registered: Jul 1999
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 01-31-2026 12:58 PM
Chapter 5
Over the course of weeks, Papa Smurf watched as Pastor Nevin continued to preach in his chapel, and also watched as more Smurfs came to the altar and gave their lives to Jesus Christ. But Pastor Nevin was doing more than just preaching -- he was instructing his fellow Smurfs how to study the Bible and how to pray. Soon he saw a good deal of his little Smurfs praying at various times of the day -- when they got up, when they ate their meals, and when they went to sleep. It was as if the village itself was becoming a community of Christians that all followed the teachings of Christ as taught by Pastor Nevin. And yet everybody carried on as they usually did with their work and play habits as usual, though they now had to make do without the presence of Tapper's Tavern for their entertainment. In fact, most of the Smurfs ended up turning in early for the night just so they could get a good night's sleep and be prepared for what the new day may bring.
Duncan had Empath and Polaris visit inside his house during the early evening hours, where they enjoyed Duncan's stash of sarsaparilla ale that he kept for such private occasions. Duncan and Empath shared a bottle together while Polaris sat and listened to the conversation without much of anything to drink.
"Somebody's got to take Tapper's place in smurfing the ale for us to enjoy, because I'm smurfing down to my last few bottles of the good stuff," Duncan said as he poured some ale into Empath's glass.
"We used to have some good times in that tavern, Duncan," Empath said, taking a sip of his ale. "Here's to the memory of Tapper's Tavern, for how long it served us while Tapper was its bartender."
"This one is curious as to what the Smurfs are going to do without Tapper's Tavern being the central hub of their activities, my fellow Smurfs," Polaris said.
"Probably going to be smurfing their own Bible study groups, who knows?" Duncan said. "I wouldn't mind smurfing in one of those gatherings if it means being around my fellow Smurfs in the evening after work."
"It just doesn't seem right," Empath said. "Tapper wouldn't just throw away years of being the bartender and informal counselor of the village in order to become its main pastor."
"Maybe his Almighty meant him to smurf this change for such a season as this, laddie," Duncan said.
"This one does agree that it seems rather uncharacteristic of Tapper to abandon his previous occupation for a spiritual calling at this point in time," Polaris said. "Even though this one cannot partake of the fermented beverages that he once produced, he did provide the village with a presence that cared about listening to their daily problems and struggles without the need to elevate himself above his fellow Smurfs."
"Maybe the years of smurfing in the shadows has finally got the better of the lad," Duncan said. "I wouldn't blame him for the desire of smurfing something better for himself."
"We can speculate about Tapper's ambitions all we want, but the thing is, we're dealing with something beyond ourselves that is in charge of Tapper's life, and until Tapper recognizes what he's doing, nothing is going to change that," Empath said, finishing his glass. "Anyway, this smurf needs to get some sleep."
"This one feels that our time here is well spent, Empath," Polaris said in agreement. "This one appreciates you inviting us into your residence for our brief conversation together, Duncan."
"You're always welcome here, the both of you," Duncan said, putting his bottle aside. "May you smurf a good night's rest for what we may have to face tomorrow."
"We'll keep in touch with each other, Duncan, we promise," Empath said, with Duncan watching as he and Polaris got up to leave.
---
The next day, as things went on as normal in the village, Chatty, Nosey, Nabby, and Lazy were spending their time near the outskirts of the village smoking their smurfnip cigarettes.
"Ahhh, this is definitely the gift of God," Chatty said after taking a puff.
"You smurfed it, Chatty," Nosey said in agreement. "Scripture says God smurfed everything to be good, including this wonderful herb that we get to smoke for our enjoyment."
"Tapper is wrong to condemn this herb that has smurfed us such pleasure from our everyday smurfing," Lazy said.
"Who cares about Tapper's interpretation of Scripture regarding smurfnip?" Nabby said. "He's not the sole authority on how we should interpret the holy words of God. The Lord has given us the freedom of His Spirit to lead us how He wants us to smurf."
"What is it that I'm hearing from my fellow Smurfs about the interpretation of Scripture?" a familiar voice broke in.
The four of them saw who it was that was speaking. "Pastor Nevin, what a surprise!" Chatty said, trying to sound jovial. "Care to join us for a smurf of smurfnip? Your God doesn't have to know about it."
"I will not fall for your temptations, Chatty, and yes, the Almighty sees and knows everything that smurfs on in the world, including this village," Pastor Nevin said. "You can fool other Smurfs with your interpretation of Scripture, but you can't fool God. He means what he smurfs, and he smurfs that smurfnip is not good for you, for you are defiling the temple of the Lord."
"How are you going to get us to stop smurfing smurfnip, Tapper?" Nosey asked in a challenging tone.
"You're just one Smurf who thinks he has religious authority around here," Nabby said.
"You're going to have to get your God to smurf us a sign to get us to stop," Lazy said.
Pastor Nevin smiled. "I speak on the authority of God, that your next smurf of your cigarette is going to smurf really nasty."
Chatty laughed. "That will be the day!" He then put his cigarette to his lips and took a drag. After he inhaled, he instantly coughed as if he was smoking car exhaust fumes. "Eewwww...what the smurf happened?"
Nosey, Nabby, and Lazy also took a drag of their cigarettes and experienced the same thing. They were all coughing like crazy.
"This cigarette tastes disgusting!" Nosey said, sticking out his tongue.
"This is worse that smurfing stinkweed!" Lazy said, wheezing.
"What has the Lord done to our smurfnip?" Nabby asked as he doubled over coughing.
Pastor Nevin watched with a smile. "Do you now question God's authority to interpret the Scriptures correctly? Or have I smurfed my point?"
Chatty grimaced. "You win, Pastor Nevin. We will never touch smurfnip for as long as we smurf."
"I surrender all my smurfnip to the Lord," Nosey said, as the four of them dumped out their cigarettes on the ground.
"Lord, forgive us, for we know not what we're smurfing," Lazy said.
"Create in us a clean heart, O God, and resmurf a right spirit within us," Nabby said.
Pastor Nevin watched as the four Smurfs walked away, feeling ashamed of their deeds. Just then, Sweepy and Barber came walking by. "What was smurfing on around here, Pastor Nevin?" Sweepy asked.
"Nothing that would consmurf you, my fellow Sweepy," Pastor Nevin answered. "Just dealing with some dissenters trying to smurf against the authority of the Lord."
"Good Lord, I pray that you were gentle with them in their ignorance," Barber said, sounding shocked.
"I'm just the humble shepherd smurfing his flock, Barber," Pastor Nevin said. "You don't have to be worried. The Lord will prove Himself to those who are faithful to Him."
"If you say so, Pastor Nevin," Sweepy said.
---
Later on, Brainy was busy writing a book when he heard a knocking on the door. He opened and found that it was Jokey. "Hi, Brainy," he greeted. "I just came by to see what you're smurfing."
"Oh, I was smurfing on my latest book, Spiritual Wisdom by Brainy Smurf, Jokey," Brainy answered. "I should be finished with it in a few days."
"That's interesting," Jokey said. "By the way, I came here smurfing a present for you." He then produced one of his gift boxes that he was hiding behind his back.
"Oh, come on, Jokey, you're not going to get me to smurf for another one of your exploding surprise gifts like usual," Brainy said, sounding suspicious.
"Honestly, I'm not," Jokey said. "This is actually something different, that smurfed from my own kitchen."
"Your own kitchen?" Brainy said. "Jokey, your house doesn't even have a kitchen!"
"Okay, from Greedy's kitchen, but who cares?" Jokey said. "Anyway, I feel that you desmurf something nice from me once in a while. So I smurfed you up a cake."
"A cake?" Brainy said, again sounding suspicious. "You're not trying to smurf a fast one on me, are you?"
"Smurf's honor I'm not, Brainy," Jokey said. "Just open it and see for yourself!"
Brainy sighed. "Okay...just this once I'll smurf my trust in you." He opened the box, and sure enough, there was a cake inside the box, sitting on a plate. "Why, Jokey, that's the nicest thing you ever smurfed to me!"
"Don't ever say I don't do nice things for my fellow Smurfs!" Jokey said. "Anyway, there's a spoon inside the box. I'll leave you to enjoy your little treat."
"Thank you, Jokey, I truly appreciate it," Brainy said, taking the cake and spoon out of the box and putting it on his table. "I'll make sure you get a copy of my latest book when it's finished."
"Don't worry about it, Brainy, I already have enough of your books," Jokey said. "See you later."
After Brainy closed the door, Jokey walked away, snickering to himself. "Just wait until Brainy smurfs a taste of my little surprise cake," he said aloud to himself.
Just then, Pastor Nevin walked by. "Greetings, my fellow Jokey. I'm curious as to what you're laughing about."
"Well, don't tell anybody, Pastor Nevin, but I smurfed a little extra-smurf laxative into the cake that I gave Brainy," Jokey said, giggling.
"For shame, Jokey!" Pastor Nevin scolded. "Harming your neighbor with a dangerous prank isn't very loving."
"Oh, calm down, Pastor Nevin," Jokey said. "He's not going to die from smurfing a little laxative in his cake."
"Just how much laxative did you smurf into the cake, Jokey?" Pastor Nevin asked, staring hard into Jokey's eyes.
Jokey gulped, feeling fearful. "The whole bottle?"
"Okay, that's it!" Pastor Nevin shouted. "You're going to go to Brainy and tell him..."
Suddenly Brainy's door opened, and Brainy was rushing out of his house, holding his rear end. "QUICK! I'VE GOT TO SMURF THE REST ROOM! I'M GOING TO EXPLODE!"
Jokey burst out laughing. "SURPRISE, BRAINY!" he shouted while laughing.
Pastor Nevin growled. "I'm going to smurf you to Papa Smurf right now and have you confess what you just smurfed!" He grabbed Jokey by the ear and dragged him to Papa Smurf's house, with Jokey crying out in pain.
A few Smurfs looked at the scene of Pastor Nevin dragging Jokey by the ear. "Great Smurfs, did you smurf that?" one Smurf asked.
"I've never seen Tapper smurf like that before," another Smurf said.
"Jokey smurfed a joke on Brainy, and he acts like he's the authority around here," a third Smurf said.
"I wouldn't want to smurf anything bad in front of Pastor Nevin, that's for smurf," a fourth Smurf said.
---
Inside Papa Smurf's laboratory, Pastor Nevin stood beside Jokey while he confessed to everything he did to Brainy regarding his prank. Empath and Polaris were also present, listening to the confession.
"I'm ashamed of you smurfing such a prank on Brainy, and smurfing Medic's supply of laxative at that," Papa Smurf scolded. "I'm going to restrict you from smurfing your jokes on any Smurf for a full month until I can be sure you won't smurf anything dangerous to your fellow Smurf. Do you understand?"
"No jokes for a full month?" Jokey said, sounding surprised. "But how can I entertain myself and others if I can't be funny around here?"
"You should have smurfed about that when you smurfed up that kind of prank, Jokey," Papa Smurf said.
"Papa Smurf, let me smurf an alternative punishment for Jokey, since I sense in my spirit that he knows his guilt," Pastor Nevin suggested.
"What do you smurf in mind, Pastor Nevin?" Papa Smurf asked.
"He can smurf as an usher for Sunday services and smurf communion to his fellow Smurfs as a form of penance," Pastor Nevin said.
Papa Smurf sighed. "I will grant that as a form of punishment, provided that you can smurf him under control."
"Don't worry, Papa Smurf, I will smurf the fear of God in this poor soul to smurf him in line," Pastor Nevin said before he and Jokey left.
Empath and Polaris looked at each other. "Pastor Nevin is going to put the fear of God into Jokey just for playing a prank on Brainy?" Empath said. "That seems to be rather harsh."
"You're not thinking that Pastor Nevin is overstepping his boundaries as far as disciplining Smurfs under his care as the village pastor, Empath?" Polaris asked.
"Not yet, Polaris," Empath said. "He did the right thing in bringing the matter to Papa Smurf first before suggesting a suitable form of punishment for him."
"All the same, Empath, we should continue to monitor Pastor Nevin's activities to make sure he doesn't go beyond what his religious authority enables him to do," Polaris said.
"This smurf agrees with you, Polaris," Empath said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 01-31-2026 03:32 PM
Chapter 6
On a Sunday morning, the Smurfs went to the Smurf Village Chapel to listen to the weekly sermon as usual. But something was different. The worship music was still the same. But Pastor Nevin looked less like the joyful Smurf that Tapper Smurf once was. There was a bit of anger in him, as if he had a message to preach that was going to hurt his fellow Smurfs.
"My fellow Smurfs," he began in a measured tone, "there is a great danger in believing that silence means peace. True peace is not the absence of conflict—it is the presence of obedience. And obedience, when it is genuine, always welcomes the light. The Word tells us that light exposes what is hidden. It does not create darkness; it reveals it. And when the light comes, each of us must decide how we will respond. Some rejoice. Some repent. And some… resist.
"Let us be very clear about something. Resistance does not always look like open rebellion. It does not always shout or mock or curse. Sometimes resistance is subtle. It disguises itself as humor. As 'harmless habits.' As private disagreements shared quietly with others. It says, 'This doesn’t apply to me.' Or worse, 'Who are you to tell me?' But Scripture does not ask whether we like the light. It asks whether we will walk in it.
"There are those who say, 'My conscience is clear.' But Scripture teaches us that the heart can deceive itself. That is why God, in His mercy, gives us correction—before confusion becomes corruption. Correction is not cruelty. Correction is not control. Correction is love that refuses to look away. And when correction is offered gently and still rejected… that is not independence. That is pride.
"Some have asked, 'Why does obedience matter so much?' Because obedience reveals allegiance. When we resist instruction, we are not merely disagreeing with a person—we are questioning whether God has the right to guide us at all. And let us not pretend that resistance is neutral. Disobedience never remains private. It spreads. It confuses. It emboldens others to do the same. That is why Scripture warns us so strongly about those who cause others to stumble—not because they are loud, but because they are persuasive.
"I do not stand here today to accuse anyone by name. The Word does not need my help to convict. But I will say this plainly: If you find yourself bristling at correction… if you feel anger rising when obedience is mentioned… if you believe your freedom is being threatened by discipline… then you must ask yourself an honest question: 'What is it in me that does not want to be led?'
"We live in a time when many confuse freedom with faithfulness. But Scripture teaches the opposite. True freedom is found in submission to what is right. True joy is found in surrender to God’s authority. And true unity is found when we stop insisting on our own way. The village cannot walk in the light if each Smurf insists on carrying their own lantern. There must be clarity. There must be order. There must be trust.
"I pray that none of us would harden our hearts. Because the light will not stop shining. And those who refuse to walk in it will eventually find themselves standing alone—convinced they are free, while slowly drifting further from truth. Let us not be among them. Let us be a people who welcome correction, embrace discipline, and prove our devotion—not by what we say, but by how readily we obey. Amen."
The sermon concluded with a song and an altar call, but very few Smurfs felt compelled to step forward.
---
After the service ended, Empath, Smurfette, and Polaris were talking with each other. "So what do you smurf of the message today, Empath?" Smurfette asked.
"This smurf is uncertain, Smurfette," Empath answered. "The intensity is there, but this smurf does sense as if Pastor Nevin has an ax to grind with his fellow Smurfs."
"This one does agree with Empath's observations, Smurfette," Polaris said. "It's as though he's accusing the Smurfs of eventually rebelling against him and his religious order."
"I think the Lord's piercing into your soul to reveal your true thoughts, Empath," Smurfette said. "I find nothing wrong with what he was trying to smurf to all of us."
"This smurf is sensing that you're feeling more attracted to Pastor Nevin because of his intensity, Smurfette," Empath said. "Are you planning on becoming his wife sometime in the future?"
"How dare you think I would smurf that far into the future, Empath!" Smurfette said. "I may want to smurf more time with him, but that doesn't mean I'm planning to become his wife."
"Your interactions with Pastor Nevin are strictly your business, Smurfette, and we will honor that," Polaris said.
"But just be careful with what he's trying to do with you," Empath warned. "He may be trying to seduce you into thinking that he's the right Smurf for you because of his preaching."
"I don't need to listen to your advice, Empath!" Smurfette said, sounding disgusted. "Pastor Nevin and I are just friends, and that's all that's smurfing on between us!"
Empath and Polaris watched as Smurfette walked off. "This one senses that you may have hurt Smurfette's feelings with that accusation of Pastor Nevin, Empath," Polaris said.
"This smurf is just looking out for her best interests, Polaris," Empath said. "This smurf isn't going to tell her to stop seeing Pastor Nevin if she wants to spend her time with him."
---
Sometime later, as Smurfette was in her house, there was a knock on her door. She opened it and found that it was Pastor Nevin. "Tapper, what an unexpected surprise!" she exclaimed.
"May I come in to see you, Smurfette?" Pastor Nevin asked. "Don't worry, this is strictly professional."
"Sure, Tapper, you can come in," Smurfette answered. She led him to a sofa, where he sat down, while Smurfette sat on a chair.
"I have noticed that you have been...more enthusiastic...in your worship of the Lord today," Pastor Nevin said. "Is everything smurfing all right with you?"
"I've never smurfed better in my whole life, Tapper," Smurfette said. "Though admittedly, and I feel ashamed to say, I find myself more attracted to you with each Sunday we smurf together with the Lord."
"I do admit that I'm feeling more attracted to you as well, Smurfette," Pastor Nevin said. "Though, to tell the truth, I cannot let myself get involved with you romantically because other Smurfs might think that I'm smurfing advantage of you."
"You mean you won't think of possibly marrying me if the time is right?" Smurfette asked, sounding a bit sad.
"I'm already married to the Lord, so my devotions will be entirely directed toward Him, Smurfette," Pastor Nevin replied. "I don't want to dash your smurfs against the rocks like this, but I have to be totally honest with you with how I feel."
Smurfette sighed. "I understand. I'm smurfing in the way between you and the Lord. I will smurf penance for how I've been acting toward you."
"You don't have to smurf anything of the sort, unless the Lord directs you to smurf that," Pastor Nevin said. "I will continue to pray for your direction in life, and which Smurf you will want to settle down with in the future."
"Well, thanks for being open about your feelings, Pastor Nevin," Smurfette said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I want to be alone right now."
"I will excuse myself and leave you alone, Smurfette," Pastor Nevin said, getting up from his seat and heading for the door. "I will smurf you later."
After Pastor Nevin left, Smurfette broke down and cried.
---
At the dinner table, Empath, Duncan, and Polaris sat together eating their meals when they noticed Smurfette sitting by herself, looking sad. "Michty me, laddie, I wonder what happened to the poor lassie," Duncan said.
"From what this smurf is sensing, Duncan, it appears that Smurfette has a broken heart," Empath said.
"This one is at a loss for how to feel for Smurfette," Polaris said. "It is most likely that Pastor Nevin had turned down her affections for some reason."
"Tapper and Smurfette having a thing smurfing on between them?" Duncan said. "Nay, that wouldn't be like the old boy, if the old boy still even exists in him."
"This smurf would like to reach out and comfort her, but this smurf isn't sure that this would be the right time," Empath said.
"Just let the lassie smurf her own space for now, Empath," Duncan said. "Smurfing after her when her heart feels raw would end up smurfing like an intrusion."
"This one would have to agree with Duncan, Empath," Polaris said. "It would be best if the both of you were not together at this time so that Smurfette could recover from her loss."
Just then, Papa Smurf sat down next to the three of them. "So what's smurfing on here, my little Smurfs?" he asked.
"We were just privately talking about Smurfette, Papa Smurf," Empath answered. "She does seem a bit sad, sitting all by herself at the dinner table."
"I wonder why," Papa Smurf said, looking at Smurfette. "I don't want to pry into her private business, but I feel that I need to smurf a little talk with her, to see if she's all right."
"Maybe she'll listen to you, Papa Smurf, who knows?" Duncan said.
Papa Smurf got up and walked over to where Smurfette was sitting. "My little Smurfette, is everything okay with you?" he asked gently as he sat down with her.
Smurfette looked at Papa Smurf sadly. "I fell in love with Tapper, Papa Smurf. And then he broke my heart."
"I'm so sorry, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said, putting his hand gently on her arm. "You know, I'm always there for you if you need to talk to me about what's on your mind."
"Thank you, Papa Smurf, but I do want to handle this matter alone," Smurfette said, looking away.
"Of course, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said gently. "Just remember that you don't have to handle this matter alone."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 01-31-2026 05:04 PM
Chapter 7
Pastor Nevin was in his study, preparing for his next sermon, when he heard a knock on his door. He opened and found that it was Papa Smurf. "Good evening, Papa Smurf," he greeted. "What may I smurf with you tonight?"
"I'm feeling a bit consmurfed about a private matter between you and Smurfette, Pastor Nevin," Papa Smurf said as he entered the sanctuary. "I know it's not any of my business what smurfs on between two Smurfs in a relationship, but I do want to hear your side of the story to smurf things clear in this situation."
"My relationship with Smurfette has always been platonic, Papa Smurf," Pastor Nevin said. "I wasn't trying to mislead her into thinking that there was anything between us that would hint at smurfing something more beyond that."
"So what were you smurfing at Smurfette's house in the afternoon before dinner, Pastor Nevin?" Papa Smurf asked.
"Just simply smurfing the truth with Smurfette, Papa Smurf," Pastor Nevin said. "Anything more beyond that would be a violation of secrecy which I am sworn to upsmurf regarding personal matters."
"Well, I must inform you that, as the leader of the village, I will have to order you to smurf your distance between yourself and Smurfette in the future, or else I will have to smurf down your chapel ministry," Papa Smurf said sternly.
"I am completely under the authority of God to smurf my ministry however the Lord sees me fit to smurf so, Papa Smurf," Pastor Nevin said defensively. "If you try to smurf down my chapel, I will make sure that your voice never has any authority in this village ever again."
Papa Smurf looked at Pastor Nevin rather strangely. "What has happened to you, Tapper? You never smurfed against me like I was your enemy. I have always allowed you to smurf your religion in the village without any interference. Apparently being a pastor has smurfed you with more authority than you desmurf to have."
"You will address me as Pastor Nevin, Papa Smurf, and I think that you have oversmurfed your boundaries here," Pastor Nevin said arrogantly. "I suggest you leave right now before I force you to leave!"
Papa Smurf sighed, looking as if the Tapper he once knew was replaced by someone else. He left the chapel.
---
The next day, the Smurfs got together and decided to throw a public party in the village square. They felt restless, as if all those weeks of endless Scripture study, sermons, and prayers was getting a little tiresome. Nearly every Smurf was there, enjoying themselves as they danced to live music, ate food, and drank smurfberry punch. Empath, Polaris, and Duncan were there at the party, feeling glad that, despite the loss of Tapper's Tavern, the Smurfs could at least have a chance to entertain themselves after a hard day's work.
Empath noticed Smurfette attending the party, although she was with the Smurflings, who were also enjoying themselves. He decided to go over to talk to her. "Salutations, Smurfette," Empath greeted. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm still hurt, Empath, but I figure that I should smurf something with my fellow Smurfs to get over it," Smurfette replied.
"Galloping goldfish, Empath and Smurfette are back together," Sassette said, sounding excited.
"Maybe we should leave these two Smurfs alone and join the others, Sassy," Nat suggested.
"At least we're not smurfed at home studying Scripture again," Snappy said.
"Yeah, you said it, Snap," Slouchy said, as the four Smurflings walked away.
"Smurfette, this smurf feels sorry that Tapper has let you down," Empath said when he and Smurfette were alone together. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really, but I'm glad that it didn't smurf out between us, Empath," Smurfette said.
"This smurf apologizes for suggesting that Tapper was trying to seduce you, Smurfette," Empath said. "This smurf didn't know what else to think."
"I accept your apology, Empath," Smurfette said. "I'm sorry for thinking you were jealous of Tapper."
"If you need more time to heal, Smurfette, this smurf would give you the space that you need," Empath said.
"Thank you, Empath, I knew that you would understand," Smurfette said.
"GREAT SMURFINY CRICKETS! WHAT IS SMURFING ON RIGHT NOW IN THE VILLAGE?" a familiar voice boomed.
The music stopped as everyone turned to see Pastor Nevin standing there, looking in anger at his fellow Smurfs. "Pastor Nevin, laddie, come and join us in our celebration of the day's smurfing," Duncan invited.
"I would rather not!" Pastor Nevin shouted. "Look at you...all smurfing this ungodly celebration like you were the Israelites in the desert who couldn't wait for Moses to smurf down from the mountain!"
"Hey, chill out, Pastor, it's just a harmless little party we're smurfing," one Smurf said.
"Yeah, even Papa Smurf gave us permission to smurf this get-together," another Smurf said.
"Why don't you smurf back into your little chapel and smurf with the God that you like to worship?" a third Smurf said.
"Yeah, leave us alone, we're not smurfing any harm here!" a fourth Smurf said.
"You all are going to smurf penance for your ungodly actions tonight, my fellow Smurfs!" Pastor Nevin said. "You will smurf down this party right now and smurf back to your homes and study the Scriptures!"
"Or else what, Pastor Nevin?" a fifth Smurf asked in a challenging tone.
"I will speak on the authority of God that He will smurf the ground that you're smurfing on," Pastor Nevin answered.
And just like that, the Smurfs began to stagger and totter as the ground beneath their feet began to shake violently, as if an earthquake had been unleashed.
Every Smurf watched as Pastor Nevin turned and walked away after the shaking stopped. "Who does Tapper think he is, smurfing us around like he's the village leader?" Snappy asked.
"Yeah, I think he's smurfed too far as smurfing his authority around here," Slouchy said.
"Why is Tapper acting like this, Empath?" Sassette asked.
Empath sighed. "This smurf doesn't know. But this has got to stop sooner or later."
"I hate Tapper trying to smurf his authority around here," Grouchy said.
---
Later that night, while Pastor Nevin was sleeping in his bed, he could smell smoke rising into his bedroom. He got up and went down into the sanctuary and saw that the chapel was on fire. "Great Smurfiny Crickets!" he cried out.
Every Smurf woke up and saw that the Smurf Village Chapel was on fire. "Great Ancestors!" Empath exclaimed as he and Polaris went out their door to see the disaster unfold.
Papa Smurf got up and saw the fire from his own house. "Quick! Smurf the Fire Brigade!" he called out.
Soon the Smurf Village Fire Brigade, led by Smokey, brought out the fire engine and dragged it to the chapel, where they set up the hoses and started pouring water on the fire. Everyone waited outside the chapel, praying for a miracle.
After several minutes, the fire was out, but as Pastor Nevin could see, the chapel was completely destroyed. There was nothing left to salvage from the wreckage.
"We're sorry about the loss, Pastor Nevin," Smokey said, putting his hand on the pastor's shoulder to show some sympathy.
"Well, I wonder who among the Smurfs would be so daring as to smurf this act of rebellion against my sanctuary," Pastor Nevin said, glaring at the crowd of Smurfs as if expecting someone to step forward and take responsibility.
"Please don't be so hard on your fellow Smurfs, Pastor Nevin," Empath said. "This smurf senses that none of them have committed an act of arson against your chapel."
"I will be as hard as I want to be, Empath!" Pastor Nevin snapped. "Besides, who are you to defend your fellow Smurfs for this act of treason against God's holy place? They're nothing but a bunch of heathen ingrates!"
Every Smurf gasped at what Pastor Nevin said. "HEATHEN INGRATES?!?"
"Look here, Tapper, we've put up with your religion long enough because we thought you actually cared about us!" one Smurf said.
"Yeah, look what you smurfed around here!" another Smurf said. "We can't have any fun like we used to because it's against your religion!"
"YOU KNOW WHAT, TAPPER?" a third Smurf shouted. "SMURF YOU! SMURF YOUR GOD! AND SMURF YOUR RELIGION! I'M GLAD YOUR CHAPEL BURNED DOWN BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR RELIGION!"
"YEAH, WE'RE SMURFING BACK TO THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE!" a fourth Smurf shouted.
As Pastor Nevin watched, every Smurf went to their houses, got their Bibles, and put them into a big pile together. Then they set the whole pile of Bibles on fire, with most of the Smurfs singing the Smurf song as they watched the pile burn.
Pastor Nevin turned to Papa Smurf, seeming desperate. "Aren't you going to smurf anything, Papa Smurf?" he asked.
Papa Smurf sighed. "I'm sorry, Tapper, but this is for your own good and the good of the entire village."
Pastor Nevin felt a tear forming in his eye. "My God, what have I done?"
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 01-31-2026 05:30 PM
Chapter 8
A voice said, "It is over."
And in an instant, Tapper could see everything rush by in reverse until he was again in his bedroom above the tavern. He looked at the clock and noticed that it was still 8 pm. Hardly any time had passed.
Tapper looked at Traveler, who was standing there the whole time. "Blessed smurfs of Eire, was that a future that I just lived through?" he asked.
"It is, Tapper, in one timeline," Traveler answered. "What the Lord has chosen for you to do from this point on will decide the future. May it be a good one."
And with that, Tapper watched Traveler leave by entering into the timestream. It was in that moment that he decided to turn to God in prayer for what He would want him to do.
---
The next morning, Empath, Polaris, and Duncan watched as Tapper joined them at the breakfast table. "Salutations, Tapper," Empath greeted. "This smurf is glad to see that you had a good night's sleep."
"I wonder what the Lord revealed to you in your private prayer session last night, laddie," Duncan said.
Tapper sighed. "I had a vision of a future that might have been, my fellow Duncan. I was going to be the pastor of the Smurf Village Chapel, which was built on the location that my tavern smurfs right now."
"So you were going to be a pastor, eh?" Duncan said. "That sounds like a strange future to me."
"And what else did that vision reveal to you, fellow Tapper?" Polaris asked.
"The vision wasn't very smurfy, Polaris," Tapper answered. "I had a smurfing ministry, but it seems that I have smurfed overboard with how I smurfed my ministry, and I ended up turning my fellow Smurfs against me in the end."
"So after the vision, what did the Lord reveal to you?" Empath asked.
"He told me that I would be better off waiting for the right time to become a pastor, Empath, because now wouldn't be," Tapper answered. "He said that right now I should continue ministering as a bartender."
Duncan snorted. "Well, I think you're better off smurfing as a bartender anyway. I would miss smurfing the best sarsaparilla ale in the whole village if you gave up on that to become a pastor."
"This smurf is certain that the whole village appreciates you being its bartender for the present, Tapper," Empath said, smiling. "Who knows what might happen if you had given up on that before the right time."
Tapper nodded. "Thank you, Empath. I'm glad that somebody does."
THE END
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 02-01-2026 02:16 AM
Notes:
* The story is written as a parable speaking against religious authoritarian figures, including infamous pastors like Mark Driscoll and Steven Anderson.
* Chapter 1 was originally a mini-story called "Tapper's Temptations", which was later expanded into its current form.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 02-02-2026 02:37 AM
More notes:
* The title was suggested by ChatGPT and evokes the imagery of Psalm 2 where God's anointed king is commanded to rule the nations with "a rod of iron".
* The two sermons in this story were generated by ChatGPT.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 02-03-2026 09:33 AM
The Iron Gospel Pastor Nevin (Tapper):
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4119 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Scrumpy 3
Baby Smurf
Member # 9647
Rate Member
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posted 02-03-2026 11:26 AM
That’s really cute
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Julianne C
Posts: 1 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2026
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