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Author
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Topic: my smurf fanfiction suggestion
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-01-2021 11:51 AM
Hi,
Originally I wanted to keep it for myself but I see many fanfictions here and now I don't really know if to write it or not. I decided to write the background of my story - if you enjoy it, then I will write the whole story.
The background:
There are two "worlds": one is very simillar to the real one. The only one difference is that there exist 17 parrots, which talk as good as people. Why? Because this story is crossed witch my another (but none-smurf related) fanfiction but don't worry - I'm creating this in the way that you don't really need informations from there. The only one important thing - 11 of these parrots have one owner (Natalie) and she appears in my smurf fanfiction (her parrots too, but they are more supporting characters)
And the second "world": here are smurfs. They live in Middle Ages (like in the cartoon) and magic exists. I didn't create any new smurf characters - they all are based on the comics, cartoon and movies. Why? I enjoy them so much and I usually look on the things which I create very critically so I stayed by them.
Some things which were changed in my fanfiction:
- Magic exists (only in the smurfs' world) but there are no such creatures like dragons, elves, Mother Nature, Father Time etc. The only fictional creatures are the smurfs and like in the cartoon only some people know about them.
- I accepted a classic verson of 100 smurfs - the only one girl is Smurfette and there aren't any smurfings. I was thinking about Baby but finally even he isn't included.
- there are two smurfs which know medicine - not only Papa but also Doctor Smurf (he was in comics but wasn't a real doctor - I changed him so much)
- Clumsy isn't so silly like in the cartoon (he's more like in the life action movies)
- Grouchy's behaviour is someting like between the cartoon and the movies verson. I tried to keep him more like in the cartoon but in some situations he may be diffrent
- Jokey sometimes does mini-explosing suprises to keep it under his hat (It is to avoid taking out a suprise from "nowhere" like sometimes in the cartoon)
In general I think most of other things are the same, most of the smurfs' behaviour is simillar to the cartoon.
The two "worlds" are connected in only one way and the way is only in a cave nearby to the smurfs' village. On the real one there's no way. Correction: there is one way but it's more complicated and requires somebody who had been in the smurfs' world before. This means people of "our" world don't know about the second one.
I'll add that the cartoon and comics in my fanfiction exists but people don't know that smurfs are real ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
A short plot:
Grouchy and Clumsy during running away went into the cave and by accident they moved to present-day Warsaw. They are looking for the way to home and meet Natalie, who tries to help them. The smurfs see the nowaday technology for the first time and they are really shocked.
It's just a bigining - Properly it's a short plot of just the 1st "episode" and written very generally without details. At this moment I have created whale 8 "episodes" and will be more (at least 2).
Some scences may be more boring but they are between something like "something finished and something begins"
There is one problem - I'm not native English speaker and I don't know how my grammar would affect to my story. If you like the idea and you don't mind my grammar let me know - then I will start doing a story verson (it is just in my head so far)
Oops sorry, it took me so long ("episodes" would be devided into "parts" because are long)
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-01-2021 12:41 PM
PS.
I wrote that there's no fictional creatures except smurfs - there may be fictional animals but not so fictional. I forgot that I'm going to introduce something what I called "cave wolves" ![[Wink]](wink.gif) (but these "episodes" aren't fully ready even in my head)
Some fictional plants like smurfberries still exist.
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-01-2021 01:01 PM
Hmm, looking pretty nice yo 😎😩🤯
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-01-2021 11:45 PM
If you wanna write something, write it. If it's interesting and hooking I think people can easily look past grammar if the conveying story is nice. 🤯
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-01-2021 11:59 PM
Thank you for the nice words ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Today evening I'll start writing a part "0" (it's just an introduction). I created this thread because I was curious if anybody would like the idea. If this story in general is cool for you we will see. The story will be in another thread.
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-02-2021 12:09 AM
Gl yo 😳😎
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Squeaky Smurf
Hering Smurf
Member # 2416
Member Rated:
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posted 05-02-2021 09:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Blaq:
If you wanna write something, write it. If it's interesting and hooking I think people can easily look past grammar if the conveying story is nice. 🤯
Agreed! ![[Happy Smurf]](graemlins/Happy_Smurf.gif)
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Keep on always smurfin'!!
Posts: 7507 | From: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil | Registered: Jul 2008
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-08-2021 03:11 AM
Some of you probably already noticed - I created another thread with this story few days ago and there are already availbe few first parts.
If anybody reads that and likes, if you want you can help me with creating a surname for Natalie (the parrots' owner) because I don't like my original idea. If not, it's ok - I will create the new one (if I still will be continuing writing).
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-19-2021 12:00 PM
I've just updated the story. Now there is availbe the whole first chapter(/episode). To be honest I don't know yet if I will be writting the second one - if yes I'm going to start not ealier than May 30th.
If you want you can write if this style is ok, I always can change it for the next parts (if they will be).
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-20-2021 02:24 PM
Sorry for being late, Continue with the story. But If I were you (now this is my light constructive criticism and opinion, if you want DO what you want ) but Id restart it from the ground up and go slower , like fleshing out the main character a lil more and stuff and introducing smurfs and the cOOL WACKy DiMEnsiOnS later.
Its a pretty nice concept, it just feels too brief and too 'unstructured' (as said im sry if this sounds mean its just saying how you can improve) [well my story is short too , but at that time I didn't really dedicate my time]
As SAID AGAIN Im sorry if this sounded mean or bashing, its meant in a good way fellow internet person!
Anyway bye yo
tl;dr: Improve structure and maybe restart and introduce stuff gradually but Continue if you have the time.
(Tl;dr means too long didn't read and is a Summary of a thing for the less moderner internet savvy people)
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-21-2021 01:23 AM
Wow, to be honest I already thought you will not come back (it's not my first forum, so I know many newbies disapear ) It's ok, thank you for writing your opinion
There is one thing which I could change - now I'm reading another fanfiction and I feel in my one there's lack of discriptions - I could describe more precisely how Grouchy and Clumsy were feeling after getting out the pond - there's no noubt they were shocked seeing the nowadays buildings which I didn't mention...
To be honest I am too lazy to restart - I'll just try to give more descriptions in the next parts, because there's no option to edit the old posts (there also are some grammar/spelling mistakes which I noticed too late)
In my current opinion I could resign the part '0'. I know the characters are shown in so busy way - it was because I know that you know the smurfs so I didn't have to show them. I spent so much time on that - I was writing as long as my spine started paining me and even couldn't finish it (this is a reason of my one day delay in the starting the story). I finished and corrected it the next day. Then I decided it is unnecessary but because it took me so much time I posted here anyway.
I know this was so quickly because it is an 'introduction' how the smurfs met Natalie. The real troubles are coming (the biggest one will begin in the episode 9 and this is going to be the longest adventure). Even the 2nd episode is a short adventure like the first one
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-21-2021 12:30 PM
Do what you want man i dont care 😎🤯
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-21-2021 12:45 PM
btw because I noticed 'Ti;dr' - if you read just the part '0' I'm not suprised of 'unstructured'. If I restarted, I would delate this part.
I still don't know if I will be continuing - this depends if I will feel writing. Anyways the next part will not be in the next week because of two reasons.
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-21-2021 01:26 PM
Take your time fellow person, do what you want, how you want.
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
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posted 05-21-2021 01:30 PM
Also by 'to long didn't read' I don't mean your story, I mean if you read my Message for Example and just didn't wanna read it , just read the conclusion , I read your story.
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-21-2021 01:31 PM
I also mean that theres no big introduction and just thrown in , but how you do this is up to you person.
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-21-2021 02:01 PM
(By that I mean it feels like youre simply put there and got no idea whats going on , again sorry if this critique sounds mean I am just tryin to help in some way.)
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-22-2021 02:28 AM
I don't want to sound wrong, I didn't want to write it at the beginning - I don't know why I often have problems with understanding you (except your fanfiction story ![[Confused]](confused.gif) )
If you mean that the story is written in the totally incomprehensible way, then I can restart. The style would be corrected to an usual story (maybe here I made a mistake) and the part '0' would be replaced with my note.
But at this moment I am discouraged to do anything - I feel I still should keep it to myself. Maybe I'm not created for writing fiction stories. I have a bit of experience in writing non-fiction texts (articles) but it's my first time in fiction.
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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Blaq
Smurfling
Member # 7955
Rate Member
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posted 05-22-2021 05:30 AM
It's actually my first one without other people and yesterday I was just tired and probably didn't explain myself very well, the premise is nice, but at the start you feel kindof thrown in. But as I said, You don't gotta take my word on how to write something, It's just what I'd do and my opinion, It is understandable and clear, but at the start I felt lost before reading other chapters.
Don't give up.
Posts: 49 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2021
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Rozalka
Smurf
Member # 7954
Member Rated:
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posted 05-22-2021 07:50 AM
Thank you for your answer. So everything was about the part '0', which anyway is unnecessary and I wrote it before the text
Summing up I will be continuing in this way (just maybe more descriptions and explanations)
Btw the 3 human characters from the part '0' who were created by me - their first appearance (in the 'real' parts) is in the episode/chapter 7 and then this will be better explained who they are. I know the moment in the Smurfs' Village is more cluttered but I'm just trying to show that part '0' is really unnecesary.
I know it is just your opinion and I'm not trying to change it, also I don't take your words how to write something. I just was analysing your idea
Anyway thank you for your feedback
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Sorry for my English ;)
My fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2850991
Posts: 231 | From: Poland | Registered: May 2021
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