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Author
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Topic: "The Once And Smurfy King" full story adaptation
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 05:53 AM
Now that the election in America is over and (cough!)Trump(cough!) is elected, I think I'll share my EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf adaptation of "King Smurf" with you people.
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Part 1
It was on a nice quiet day in the Smurf Village that a young female Smurf with short brown hair and round glasses was busy writing something in her book. Nobody but her friend, a male Smurf who looked a bit like Clumsy, took any notice of what she was doing all by herself.
"Uh, hi there, Sophia," the male Smurf greeted. "What are you smurfing there?"
"Oh, hi, Goofy," the female Smurf greeted back. "I'm just smurfing a little historical piece that I'm going to call 'The Once And Smurfy King.' It's about a Smurf in the village who once smurfed as king back before Uncle Empath smurfed home for good."
"A king who smurfed over the village?" Goofy said, sounding interested. "Uh, didn't your Papa Smurf become king for a while when Grandpa left it to smurf some wrinkleroot?"
"My Papa Smurf, ever become king?" Sophia said with a laugh. "Oh, don't be smurfdiculous, Goofy. My Papa Smurf wouldn't know how to smurf over a village if he even was king."
"That's what every adult Smurf said had happened, Sophia, just as they remembered it," Goofy commented.
"Well, it's not even half as interesting as the story that I'm smurfing, and my Papa Smurf never was king...he was a noble rebel who fought against the Smurf who became king of the village," Sophia said defensively.
"Then how come our history smurfs Brainy as the villain and not as the hero?" Goofy asked.
"If you really knew my Papa Smurf, he was never the Smurf who was really respected by anyone in the village...well, except for Uncle Empath and perhaps Uncle Tapper," Sophia answered.
"Can I read the story when you're finished smurfing it, Sophia?" Goofy asked.
"I'll let you be the one who will smurf the first copy when it gets printed, Goofy," Sophia replied. "Right now, I need to concentrate, so I would suggest for you to smurf back later when I smurf a few more chapters before the day is smurfed."
"Uh, all right, Sophia, if that's what you want," Goofy said, trying his best not to sound disappointed.
Sophia sighed as she watched Goofy head off to another part of the village. Ever since they were Smurflings, Sophia felt an attraction toward Goofy that was hard to explain even to herself. Maybe it was how her own father Brainy felt when he and Goofy's father Clumsy were both Smurflings themselves, that Goofy was someone that she could share everything that was on her mind with, even if he couldn't fully understand everything she was talking about. He just simply listened to her while she did the talking, and was amazed by even the least little thing that came as a total revelation to his limited understanding.
She felt a bit privileged as a daughter of Brainy to be living out what her Papa Smurf at times must have felt for Clumsy, in that she could possibly share herself a bit more intimately with Goofy than Brainy ever could with Clumsy. Her father told her time and again that only male and female Smurfs are allowed to be intimate with each other in a romantic way because that would lead to marriage and the creation of families, simply because that's how Mother Nature created all creatures to be, and anything else would be a violation of that creation. She began to wonder what it would be like if Brainy was allowed to share that same kind of intimacy with Clumsy, and whether Clumsy would reciprocate in kind if he ever knew that was how Brainy loved him. She then shook her head and dismissed the notion altogether, realizing that if that was what happened, neither she nor Goofy would ever exist.
Sophia returned to her book, deciding to do a review of what she had just written before moving on to writing anymore chapters. She felt as if she was there back in the days when the story had happened, back in the generation of her Papa Smurf when they were around the same age as she and Goofy and her generation currently are.
Here was how the story began. It was midnight, and everything was calm and quiet in the Smurf Village. Only one light was seen shining in the windows: the light was coming from Papa Smurf's laboratory. The village leader was busy working on an important experiment in the middle of the night.
"...and three violet petals...a dash of smurfapiperium...," Papa Smurf said as he added the ingredients into his pestle to mix together. He then climbed up to a shelf to find the jar marked Wrinkleroot to add a pinch to the mixture, but when he opened the jar, he found that it was completely empty.
"For the love of smurf, it's all gone," Papa Smurf commented to himself. "The problem is that wrinkleroot isn't smurfed anywhere near the village. The only place I can smurf it is on the other side of the mountains, and that is a few weeks' journey to smurf there and back." Papa Smurf then shrugged and decided on a change of plan. "Oh well, I'll just smurf a few grains of hellebore instead and see how that smurfs."
Papa Smurf added the few grains into the mixture, only to cause an explosion in his laboratory that covered his face in dark soot. "Oh, it's no use," Papa Smurf sighed, as he picked himself off from the floor and wiped the soot off his face. "I must have wrinkleroot, and there's only one way to smurf it. I must leave for the mountains by tomorrow morning...hopefully my little Smurfs will be able to carry on without me while I'm gone."
Papa Smurf left his laboratory and headed back to his own house to rest for the coming day. He knew that leaving his little Smurfs unsupervised for about a week was going to be tough, but he had faith that they would be able to carry on important village tasks in his absence.
By morning, every Smurf had gathered around the village square, eager to find out what Papa Smurf wanted. They saw him ready to leave the village with a traveling bag on hand.
"My little Smurfs, I shall be gone for about a few weeks as I must smurf to the mountains for some more wrinkleroot," he announced. "I want you all to be good little Smurfs and make sure you smurf all the important village tasks until I return."
"Oh, Papa Smurf, I wish you didn't have to go," Smurfette said.
"Are you sure you're going to be all right smurfing to the mountains by yourself, Papa Smurf?" Hefty asked.
"You needn't worry about me, Hefty," Papa Smurf said. "I'm smurfectly capable of protecting myself from any dangers that may smurf my way. You just be mindful of the things that need to be smurfed in the village while I'm gone."
"I'm certain that we'll be able to smurf care of ourselves in your absence, Papa Smurf," Tapper said.
"Aye, I doubt that we'll smurf too much trouble around here," Duncan McSmurf said.
"And if there is any trouble smurfing on in the village, I, Brainy Smurf, will be the first to let you know about it, Papa Smurf," Brainy said.
"I'm very certain that you will, Brainy," Papa Smurf said. "I will see you all later, my little Smurfs."
They all waved goodbye as they watched Papa Smurf head off into the forest. Then Player Smurf came hopping around with a ball in his hand. "Say, who wants to play smurfball with me?" he asked.
A few Smurfs decided to join Player in the game, but Brainy was quick to interrupt. "Hold it, hold it, hold it," he said in a commanding tone. "How can you think of smurfing ball at a time when Papa Smurf is gone and there are important tasks that need to be smurfed? We need to get ourselves smurfing on the bridge to make sure that it is well-smurfed and ready for use when Papa Smurf gets back."
The Smurfs reacted negatively to Brainy's comment. "Hey, who died and smurfed you as the leader of the village, Brainy?" Player said.
"Yeah, Brainy, we can smurf whatever we like now that Papa Smurf is gone," another Smurf said.
"Why don't you smurf on an egg until it hatches?" a third Smurf said. "That will make you pretty useful around here."
"I hate eggs," Grouchy said.
"Look here, my fellow Smurfs, whenever Papa Smurf is gone, I am the one who is in charge around here, so whatever I say is whatever you smurf," Brainy shot back.
"You, the Smurf who is in charge around here?" a Smurf named Anonymous said with disbelief in his tone. "If anyone should be in charge of all the Smurfs in the village, it should be me."
The other Smurfs laughed at this. "Anonymous being in charge? Oh, don't make me laugh," Jokey said.
"Now that is really funny," Smurfette said, as she also laughed.
"That's what he gets for being such a Nobody Smurf," Handy said.
"I hate being a Nobody Smurf," Grouchy said.
"I'm not a Nobody Smurf, folks," Anonymous said. "I can be a real somebody, if you just smurf me a chance."
Duncan McSmurf stopped laughing when an idea came to his mind. "If Brainy and Anonymous want to smurf it out over who gets to be the leader, I should say that we all vote on who would be the better of the two."
"I would have to agree with you on that, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said. "We should let the two candidates smurf their case of why they should be the village leader, and then by tomorrow we all smurf our votes to see which of the two will be the best candidate. Does anyone agree or disagree with that?"
"Brainy and Anonymous as candidates for the village leader?" Hefty said. "Well, I say we let them prove themselves before we all smurf the vote."
"Yeah, I would certainly agree with that," Handy said. And the other Smurfs all spoke their minds to show their support for the voting process.
"If that's how we're going to get things smurfed around here in the village, then I think it's fair that we should smurf a democracy to prove once and for all that I, Brainy Smurf, am fully capable of being the village leader in Papa Smurf's absence," Brainy said. "Wouldn't you agree, Anonymous?"
"Of course I would, Brainy," Anonymous said.
"Then, my fellow Smurfs, it is settled," Tapper said. "May the best of the two be the one whom the Smurfs will choose as the leader."
"And may that Smurf be me," Brainy whispered to himself.
As the Smurfs headed off to doing their own things, Anonymous wandered around the village thinking to himself. "So I have to smurf myself as the Smurf who is best suited to smurf as the village leader," he said in his ponderings. "The only question is, how. I've never been in charge of anyone else in my entire life."
It was during his ponderings that he saw Brainy speak to Chatty out near the forest, with Chatty looking like he was getting irritated listening to Brainy. "...and besides, that's what I always tell Papa Smurf," Brainy said. "I said, 'Papa Smurf, am I not the smurfest Smurf of my generation of Smurfs?', and Papa Smurf tells me that I smurf better than all my fellow Smurfs. That's the reason that you should vote for me."
After Brainy was finished and walked away, Anonymous went over to talk to Chatty. "Brainy is just so annoying, isn't he?" Anonymous asked.
"And I thought I was the real chattersmurf," Chatty replied. "That Smurf just doesn't smurf up for anything."
"Well, if I'm elected, I promise that I will smurf a law in place that will outlaw all bores," Anonymous said.
"Really?" Chatty said, looking at Anonymous with wonder. "My friend, you have my vote!"
"Hey, that's smurfy!" Anonymous said, sounding pleased. As they both walked away, Anonymous realized that the best way to get votes is to make promises. He looked for the next Smurf he could get his vote from when he heard the sounds of a Smurf gorging on food inside his house. Anonymous realized that this was Nabby Smurf, so he decided to pay a visit.
"Good food, eh, Nabby?" Anonymous asked as he greeted his fellow Smurf who was sitting at a table with lots of food he was eating.
"I may not be a cook, but I know smurfy eating when I taste it," Nabby said with his mouth full of food.
"Well, I don't think that Greedy and his crew smurf enough cakes around here," Anonymous said. "If I'm elected, I'll make sure that cakes will be smurfed every day."
"Really? You would do that just for me?" Nabby asked, sounding curious.
"Every Smurf will have double rations of sarsaparilla, Nabby, and there will be pancakes smurfed three times a week if I'm elected," Anonymous replied.
"Pancakes? Awesome!" Nabby said, sounding very excited. "You'll definitely have my vote!"
Anonymous seemed pleased that he now has two Smurfs that will vote for him. As he walked out of Nabby's house, he saw Vanity passing by, looking at himself in his mirror. He decided to get Vanity's attention and see if he will vote for Anonymous.
"Oh, what a handsome Smurf you really are, Vanity," Anonymous said in a flattering manner. "You're the Smurf that every Smurf adores and admires, because you're the pinnacle of smurfiness that every Smurf, including myself, wants to be, and I truly mean it."
"Really?" Vanity said, sounding captivated by Anonymous' words. "What can I say? I'm definitely voting for you."
Anonymous was pleased that he now had three Smurfs that would vote for him. He raced down to the riverside where he knew Lazy would be and decided to lay down next to him to get his attention.
"Hot enough for you, Lazy?" Anonymous said. "No Smurf should be made to smurf on such a hot day."
"Yeah, you've smurfed it right there," Lazy responded, barely opening his eyes to even see who he was talking to.
"In fact, if I'm elected, I'll smurf a law that states that nobody has to smurf unless they feel like it, even on hot days like this," Anonymous said.
"Really?" Lazy said with a yawn. "Oh, how smurfy of you. You'll definitely have my vote."
Anonymous got up and ran back to the village. "It's smurfing, it's smurfing!" he said to himself "If I can convince them all that I'm the Smurf to vote for, then I will surely win the election."
And so throughout the day Anonymous' diplomacy continues with his election campaign. The next Smurf that he visited was Carpenter Smurf, who was busy sawing logs that Timber Smurf cut down for him in order to make planks of wood.
"If you vote for me, Carpenter, I promise that I will smurf all your logs," Anonymous said.
"Really?" Carpented said. "How smurf of you. You'll definitely have my vote. And when you're finished with the smaller load, you can smurf the bigger one right behind you."
Anonymous turned and saw the big pile of logs that was right behind him. It was going to be laborious, but he made a promise and he was going to see it fulfilled even if it made him hurt.
After a while, Anonymous walked away feeling worn down from all the work he had to endure. "Well, that was surely a hard-smurfed vote," he said to himself.
Then suddenly a sharp sour sound of a horn being played made him jump. He turned and saw that it was coming from Harmony Smurf, who was sitting outside his house playing his trumpet.
"Ah, so it's you, Harmony," Anonymous said. "I was wondering where such smurfy music was coming from. If I'm elected, I promise that I will smurf you the chief soloist of a smurfing band."
"Really?" Harmony said, sounding intrigued. "Then you'll definitely have my vote. Since you're a big fan of my music, perhaps you'd like to smurf one of my latest compositions."
"Uh...you mean right now?" Anonymous said, trying to be polite about his refusal. "Well, it's a smurfy idea...but you see, I must be going."
"Fine, then let me smurf with you," Harmony said as he got up from the bench he was sitting on as Anonymous started to walk away.
Anonymous looked like a Smurf who had to endure torture as he listened to Harmony playing his music while following his fellow Smurf around. "Uhhh, the things I smurf just to get elected," Anonymous muttered to himself.
Shortly after, as Anonymous and Harmony had parted ways, Jokey came up to him with one of his presents. "Say, Anonymous, since I heard you're campaigning to be the new village leader, I might as well smurf a personal contribution by smurfing you this present," Jokey said.
"For me?" Anonymous said, sounding pleased as he received the present from Jokey and started opening it. "Why, you shouldn't have!"
Then suddenly the present exploded in Anonymous' face as he lifted the lid, causing Jokey to laugh. "So how do you like my little campaign contribution?" Jokey said. "Really smurfy, isn't it?"
Anonymous stared at Jokey with a look that could kill his fellow Smurf on the spot, but then he decided to play along with it by forcing himself to laugh at the joke. "Yeah, you really smurfed me that time, Jokey. In fact, what I like the most about you is your smurf of humor. If I'm elected, I promise that I will smurf you minister of the jokes and pranks department."
"Really?" Jokey said, sounding astonished. "You'd smurf that for me, even after what I smurfed on you? Then you'll definitely have my vote."
Later on inside his own house, after he had cleaned himself up, Anonymous was pacing around thinking of how he could attract other potential voters when an idea came to mind. "Maybe I should smurf up some campaign posters," he said to himself. "All I will need is some paint and several smurfs of loose-leaf paper."
He turned to look outside his window and saw Dimwitty passing by. "Hey, Dimwitty, I was wondering if you could smurf me a favor and smurf me several smurfs of loose-leaf," he requested.
"Uh, sure thing, Anonymous," Dimwitty said as he eagerly went to get the items.
Anonymous looked around his house to see if he had any paint lying around. He saw a jar sitting on the shelf and looked to make sure that it was still fresh. He then went to get a paintbrush and found it just as he heard knocking on his door. "Uh, I smurfed you the loose-leaf, Anonymous."
Anonymous seemed pleased that Dimwitty would get the items so fast. He went to the door to receive them, but when he did, he was not pleased to see what Dimwitty got instead. "I said for you to smurf me loose-leaf, not oak leaves," Anonymous yelled.
"Uh, sorry, but they were the loosest leaves that I could smurf," Dimwitty said.
Anonymous tried to think of how he could get Dimwitty to vote for him, so he decided on a tactic based on what he knew Dimwitty would do, which was always the wrong thing. "Listen to me, Dimwitty. Tomorrow you're going to vote for Brainy Smurf, not for me, you hear? Vote only for Brainy Smurf."
"Uh...okay, Anonymous," Dimwitty said before he walked away muttering to himself, "I will vote for Brainy Smurf...I will vote for Brainy Smurf...I will vote for Brainy Smurf..."
Anonymous seemed pleased that he might have another voter on his side instead of Brainy's. He looked around for another potential voter that he might sway, and he saw Grouchy passing by outside, looking as sour as usual.
"Hello, Grouchy," Anonymous greeted as he walked over and followed right behind his fellow Smurf. "Things not smurfing very well today?"
"No," Grouchy answered without looking.
"Me neither," Anonymous said. "I mean, this election is what's smurfing me. It's such a chore to have to vote."
"I hate voting," Grouchy responded, still not looking at Anonymous.
"I despise voting myself, Grouchy," Anonymous said, trying to sound convincing. "They claim you smurf the power to choose, but it's all really luck of the smurf. Anyway, since you have to vote, why not vote for me, huh?"
Grouchy was silent for a moment. Then he just said, "I hate Smurfs who try to smurf me to vote for them," and continued to walk on.
Anonymous stopped in his tracks after hearing what Grouchy said, realizing that he may have lost a vote. "Well, let's get smurfing, then," he said as he walked off in another direction.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 05:57 AM
Part 2
While Sophia was busy writing her story, Goofy went to tell his friends who had gathered together at Tapper's Tavern, which was now run by his two daughters Fiona and Meaghan. Fiona, the ginger-haired female Smurf, worked behind the counter to fill her customer's orders while Meaghan, the brunette-haired female Smurf, worked as a waitress, ready to give lip to any customer that dared to sass her or make any wrong moves.
"I'm telling you, fellows, that Sophia really believes that Uncle Brainy was never King Smurf," Goofy said.
Empath's daughter Psycheliana sat at a table with her friend, Polaris Psyche's daughter Libra, listening to what Goofy had said. "So what do you smurf about this, Libra?" Psycheliana asked.
"This one thinks it is pointless to believe in something that is contrary to the facts of actual history, Liana," Libra replied in the same dispassionate tone as her father. "It serves no real purpose other than to confuse people who want to learn about what really happened during the time when there was a King Smurf."
"You mean like people who smurf my Papa Smurf's holy book and believe that the earth is only about 5,000 years old when the evidence suggests it's been smurfing for a million years or more," Meaghan said. "Well, I can't help it if my sister believes it to be the case, but personally I think smurfing your faith in a story book is just a waste of time."
"The Holy Scriptures are more than just mere stories, Meaghan," Fiona said. "It's the actual history of God's chosen people that led to the smurf of the Almighty's only begotten Son in the flesh of a human being."
"Right, that's what Papa and you keep smurfing," Meaghan said with a bit of sarcasm.
"I think that we should smurf the lassie about the truth of the matter so that there's no smurf in her mind about who really was King Smurf," Duncan McSmurf's son Malcolm said.
"But what are we going to smurf to her that we haven't already smurfed to her about it, brother?" Duncan's daughter Gillian said. "If Sophia's going to believe that another Smurf besides Brainy became King Smurf back in the day, there's nothing we can smurf to change her mind."
"Well, who is she really smurfing with that belief, anyway?" Hefty's son Bruno said. "If that's what she wants to believe instead of the truth, because it makes her feel better about her Papa Smurf, then who are we to smurf otherwise?"
"That still doesn't smurf it the truth, no matter how many Smurfs believe in her account, Bruno," Fiona said.
"I can understand Sophia's need to smurf her Papa Smurf in a better light, Fiona," Psycheliana said. "After all, Uncle Brainy isn't exactly the most popular or even the most liked Smurf in the whole village, and most of us are only able to tolerate Sophia when she doesn't try to emulate what her Papa Smurf does."
"What makes this one curious is how Sophia will even try to make Uncle Brainy into a more respectable character in her version of the events from history," Libra said.
"I don't know about that part, but I've got to smurf Sophia the benefit of a doubt," Goofy said. "If she knows how to smurf a story that I would want to read, I would be the first to support her no matter what."
"Well, as my Papa Smurf would say, may the luck of the Smurfish be upon her...because she's going to need it," Meaghan said.
As Sophia's story continued to be written, Brainy and Clumsy are seen walking together in the story at the point where Brainy and Anonymous were busy in their efforts of their election campaign. It was during their walking together that Clumsy noticed posters being put up around the village, featuring Anonymous' face and saying VOTE FOR SMURF. "Gee, Brainy, are you smurfing this?" Clumsy said, sounding fascinated. "Anonymous has got his face smurfing all over the village. He must be smurfing well with his campaign, don't you think?"
"Clumsy, Anonymous advertising himself like this isn't going to smurf voters who want a real Smurf who is capable of leading them like I am," Brainy said. "He's just another smurf in the crowd hoping to be somebody important so that everybody can smurf well of him when he doesn't smurf anything to the table that would make Smurfs notice him."
"But Brainy, how are you going to smurf voters that will vote for you tomorrow if you're not smurfing what Anonymous is smurfing?" Clumsy asked.
"Trust me, Clumsy, that my methods alone will make Smurfs realize that Anonymous is all flash and no substance, as some Smurfs are fond of smurfing," Brainy said. "By tomorrow, most Smurfs will be smurfing the right decision because they will be well-informed to smurf the right decision from a Smurf who knows how to smurf the right decision on every occasion."
Suddenly the two of them could hear the sound of a big band playing, and they could see a crowd gathered around the village square. "Gosh, Brainy, I wonder what all that excitement is for," Clumsy said.
Brainy saw Tapper standing in the back of the crowd and decided to ask him. "Say, what's all this noise smurfing on in the village square that has smurfed every Smurf's attention?"
"Oh, Brainy, you should smurf it," Tapper answered, sounding excited. "It's Anonymous smurfing a big campaign parade to get Smurfs to listen to his speech tonight. I only hope that you're going to be there, because I can't wait to hear what Anonymous has to say."
"Please, Tapper, don't tell me that you've been smurfed up by all the hype about Anonymous Smurf," Brainy said, sounding displeased.
"Normally I wouldn't be, Brainy, but I just got a feeling in my spirit that Anonymous may be just the leader we need smurfing at a time like this," Tapper said.
Brainy and Clumsy tried to look over the crowd to see the parade for themselves. On a cart being pulled by a few strong Smurfs, Anonymous was standing there with Smurfette beside him, impressing the crowd with his presence. Behind him and in front of him were Smurfs carrying banners boasting his greatness as a Smurf, with some advertising the campaign speech he was going to give that night.
"Golly, I wish that I was up there with Smurfette, Brainy," Clumsy said as he watched the parade passing by.
Brainy snorted. "Well, I can only wonder what it is that Anonymous did that would get Smurfette to help promote his campaign, Clumsy. And I bet that what he did wasn't very smurfy."
"Are we going to smurf to the campaign speech tonight, Brainy?" Clumsy asked.
"Of course we are, Clumsy," Brainy replied. "After all, the Smurfs deserve to hear from both candidates so that they would know for sure who they're going to vote for tomorrow. And when they all vote for me, every Smurf is going to forget that Anonymous even existed in the first smurf."
Later on at evening, every Smurf gathered around inside the meeting house, eagerly waiting for Anonymous to step up to the podium to make his speech. Brainy sat with Clumsy, ready to give a speech of his own once Anonymous was finished with his.
Soon after every Smurf was gathered inside, Anonymous walked in through the doors, looking like a Smurf who was well-prepared for that moment and confident that he was going to get every Smurfs' attention and applause that night. All the Smurfs except for Brainy clapped when they saw Anonymous enter and head straight for the podium.
"...and as Papa Smurf always says, 'Every smurf will live at the expense of the person who smurfs'," Brainy tried to warn the Smurf sitting next to him that wasn't Clumsy. "Smurf this truth, because Anonymous with his rhetoric will..."
The Smurf sitting next to Brainy shushed him, signaling that the speech is going to begin.
"My fellow gentlesmurfs," Anonymous said in a manner that got every Smurf's attention, "I'm usually a Smurf of few words, so I'll make my words smurf. Tomorrow you will choose a leader, and all I smurf of you is to choose wisely. Some Smurfs want to be leader so that they smurf high above their peers all day. I choose to smurf among them. Some Smurfs want to be leader so that they can smurf orders without anybody questioning them. I choose to be the Smurf who will listen to your problems and your solutions and smurf decisions based on what you smurf me."
"Oh, Duncan, doesn't he sound like the Smurf who is right for smurfing the position of the village leader?" Smurfette said, sounding captivated by Anonymous' words.
"Aye, he sure sounds like he's got the spirit of a McSmurf within him, lassie," Duncan responded.
"I choose to be the leader who will be wise and compassionate and generous," Anonymous continued as his speech became more energetic. "I choose to be the leader who will never smurf my back on my fellow Smurfs. I choose to be the leader who keeps every single promise I have ever smurfed with anybody. I choose to be honest and fair in my judgments. So tomorrow, if you have to choose any smurf, all I can smurf is...VOTE FOR ME!"
All the Smurfs except for Brainy clapped in applause for Anonymous' speech, finding it to be the very words that they needed to hear and believing that he was going to make good on those words.
After the applause died down, Anonymous asked, "So do any of you smurf any questions?"
"I have one," Brainy said as he eagerly stood up and raised his hand. "My question is: why should anyone vote for any Smurf besides me? Indeed, Papa Smurf has always said that I was the one who..."
"Just a moment," Anonymous said, interrupting Brainy's train of thought. "If my honorable opponent would let me smurf a few words, I would gladly smurf him the opportunity to smurf his peace."
"Gosh, Brainy, you finally get to smurf to the crowd why they should vote for you," Clumsy said, sounding eager to listen.
"Naturally, Clumsy," Brainy said. "After all, Anonymous doesn't smurf a chance of winning this debate."
"Meanwhile, any of you who are smurfing thirsty, I would like to invite you all to smurf a fresh glass of smurfberry wine with me, courtesy of our good friends Vino and Tapper," Anonymous continued.
The mention of smurfberry wine got every Smurf's attention as they raced out the door and headed straight for Tapper's Tavern to enjoy themselves. All, that is, except for Brainy, Clumsy, and Grouchy, who stayed behind in the meeting house, with Clumsy sitting in his seat to listen to Brainy and Grouchy sitting in his seat looking rather undecided.
"Smurfs and fellow citizens," Brainy began after he had stepped up to the podium, "Insofar as I am the representative of Papa Smurf and that he smurfed me his authority time and again, I must remind you that a smurf in the hand is worth two in the smurf, and that not withstanding, a smurf a day keeps the smurf away, while a smurf does not make summer, and thus smurf is the root of all evil. Some will say that you can smurf a smurf to water, but you cannot make him smurf, and furthermore..."
"I hate listening to Brainy's speeches," Grouchy said as he got up and walked out of the meeting house, leaving only Clumsy as the one Smurf who would stay and listen to the whole speech.
And so that night, the Smurfs went back to their houses, most of them falling sound asleep, with Brainy feeling certain that he was going to win the election no matter what. However, only one Smurf was still awake, and it was Anonymous, who was pacing around back and forth inside his house, worrying that some Smurfs may end up not voting for him.
Then came morning, and the Smurfs gathered around the meeting house which was converted into an election headquarters where every Smurf would put in their vote as to which Smurf they would want to see as the village leader. Tapper, Barber, and Sweepy ran the headquarters to make sure the Smurfs cast their votes in an orderly fashion, while Duncan watched to make sure there would be no Smurfs that would try to vote twice.
Tapper handed a slip of paper to each Smurf before they entered the voting booth, while Sweepy made sure that the Smurf casting his or her vote had their privacy in doing so, and Barber called out for the next Smurf to enter after the previous Smurf slipped their paper with their vote on it into an urn. There were a few delays as some Smurfs had trouble casting their votes, and one Smurf unfortunately spilled ink all over his slip of paper, making his vote invalid. But nonetheless there was hadly any problems up until after Brainy cast his vote. He tried to slip back in line to vote again, but Duncan caught him doing so and was soon expelled from the headquarters. Brainy tried a second time to slip back into line, this time without his glasses, but as Duncan noticed that Brainy couldn't see where he was going when he tried to cast another vote, he guided Brainy to the door and gave him a boot to the rear.
Soon enough the voting was over, and Tapper, Sweepy, and Barber would go over every single vote to count them up and see who would be the Smurf chosen to be the village leader. The Smurfs tried to patiently wait outside until all the votes have been counted up.
Anonymous began to worry when the vote counting took a bit longer than he was expecting. "What's smurfing them so long?" he said as he nervously paced around. "We should have had the results smurfed by now."
"Oh, don't worry, Anonymous," Smurfette said, trying to comfort her friend. "I'm sure that you're going to be the winner."
"Well, I am quite certain that Anonymous is going to lose and that I, Brainy Smurf, am going to be the one who is elected, and since that is going to be the case, I have already prepared a speech in honor of my soon-to-be victory," Brainy said rather confidently, causing the other Smurfs to groan.
Soon Tapper stepped outside the door with a sheet of paper. "And so, finally, my fellow Smurfs, we have the results of the vote," he announced. "With 95 votes versus 3 and a smurfed ballot, the winner is...Anonymous!"
Every Smurf cheered as they heard the news...every Smurf except for Brainy, that is. "Hey! That's not fair! I demand a recount!" Brainy whined.
Smurfette gave Anonymous a kiss on the cheek. "Consmurfulations, Anonymous...you're now the leader of the Smurf Village," she announced.
Anonymous looked astonished at what had just happened. "I...I can't believe it, Smurfette. I won."
The Smurfs gathered around Anonymous cheered and gave him a ride on their shoulders throughout the village as they congratulated him for his victory. On their way, the group passed by Dimwitty, who called out, "Hey, Anonymous, I did just what you have smurfed. I voted for Brainy Smurf."
"Smurfs, I have just the thing that I want to show you," Anonymous said. "Smurf me to my house and you will see just what it is."
The Smurfs carried Anonymous to his house, where they gathered waiting around outside as he went inside to get the very thing he wanted to show them.
"What do you think he's going to smurf us?" one Smurf asked.
"Maybe it's smurfberry wine," another Smurf said.
"Or maybe it's sarsaparilla," a third Smurf said as he licked his lips in anticipation.
"Ooh, there he is...look!" Smurfette called out as she saw the door of Anonymous' house open and he stepped out, wearing a shiny new Smurf suit of a different color.
The Smurfs in the crowd started to laugh at the sight of Anonymous in the new clothes. "Oh, this is just too much," one Smurf said. "Now he's a total dandelion Smurf."
"Well, I think it's certainly an attractive new look for him, don't you agree, Smurfette?" Vanity said.
"Certainly...if he's attracting bees," Smurfette said with a giggle.
"Why are you smurfing on a yellow outfit?" another Smurf asked.
"This outfit isn't yellow...it's gold!" Anonymous said, sounding rather defensive.
"Seriously, laddie, you're not going to smurf around wearing that as the village leader now, are you?" Duncan said, trying to contain himself.
"And why not, Duncan? It's no more ridiculous than you smurfing on that kilt all the time," Anonymous said. "From now on, you shall call me Lord Smurf the First."
The crowd of Smurfs just exploded with loud laughter, realizing how ridiculous Anonymous had now become. "Lord What the First?" one Smurf said.
"Makes you wonder what he's been smurfing lately," another Smurf said.
"Oh, yeah, what a maroon," a third Smurf said.
"Well, I'm sure glad that we voted for him," a fourth Smurf said.
"This is so funny, Tapper, I think that I'm going to pee in my kilt," Duncan said.
"As profane as it may be to laugh at our friend like this, even I find myself amused by this, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said.
Anonymous felt so humiliated even by the sight of Smurfette laughing at his new appearance that he just went back inside his house and slammed the door shut.
"How dare they laugh at me, after all that I have smurfed for them," Anonymous snarled as he paced around inside his house. "But I will smurf them. They will learn to properly respect me."
Then came a knock on his door. Anonymous realized that someone wanted to see him, so he said, "One moment", while he prepared his chair and table to give an appearance of somebody in command. "You may enter," he finally said after he had positioned himself to greet his visitor.
The door opened, and it was Harmony. "Say, Lord Smurf the First, remember that you...," he began to say as he entered.
"Stop!" Anonymous interrupted. "Address me as your Lordship."
"Okay, then," Harmony said, clearing his throat before he began again. "Say, Your Lordship, remember when you promised me that you would smurf me the chief soloist of a smurfing band? Well, now that you're elected, I was just thinking that..."
"You're right, Harmony," Anonymous said, interrupting his fellow Smurf again. "I did smurf you a promise, and I would be foolish not to smurf up my end. However, I believe that you are a Smurf with a much greater destiny in smurf for him. A Smurf of your scope should not be smurfed in such a minor role as to smurf around in mere parades. So I decided to smurf you in a much more important position."
"Really?" Harmony said, sounding curious to find out what it was.
Anonymous went over and put his hand on Harmony's shoulder. "Harmony, I will smurf you the distinct and unprecdented honor of becoming the first official chief spokesperson of Lord Smurf the First," he declared. "And to make this official, I will smurf you your first assignment."
Anonymous went back to his desk to write out a decree that he was expecting Harmony to deliver to the masses. Then he handed Harmony the message along with a drum kit to use as his signal. "Here...take this decree and smurf it to the entire village," Anonymous said as he gave the items to Harmony.
"But...but...but I'm just a trumpet player and..." Harmony tried to protest.
"Oh, there's no need to thank me, Harmony," Anonymous said as he showed his fellow Smurf to the door. "It's the least that I can smurf for you."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 06:02 AM
Part 3
Later on, Sophia joined her parents Brainy and Librarian at the dining commons, where they ate dinner together with the other Smurfs. Sophia acted like she couldn't eat her food fast enough, which made her parents seem rather concerned for her.
"Are you all right, Sophia?" Librarian asked. "You seem to be smurfing through your dinner faster than you can digest it."
"Oh, I'm fine, Mama...I just got a lot on my mind lately, namely this story that I'm trying to write," Sophia answered.
"You're trying to write your own fictional work?" Brainy said, sounding intrigued. "Well, good for you. I'd like to smurf a copy of your work when you're finished with it. Anyway, what is your story about?"
"Oh, it's about a Smurf in the village who becomes king, back in the days before I was smurfed," Sophia replied.
"Darling, we've already smurfed through this enough times...your Papa was the one who became King Smurf when your Grandpa was gone for a while," Librarian said. "I don't know why you can't accept it as the truth."
"How could Papa ever be such a terrible king over his fellow Smurfs, much less even be a king?" Sophia asked.
"That's because I wanted to be like your Grandpa Smurf so much, that I couldn't wait to smurf into his role whenever he was gone, Sophia," Brainy answered. "All I wanted was the respect of my fellow Smurfs, and if I could smurf myself to be much like Grandpa Smurf, then I thought others could like me better."
"I know how you feel, Brainy, because I smurfed the same way when I was Mother Smurfette's assistant," Librarian said as she looked into Brainy's eyes. "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I was queen of my fellow Smurfettes if she smurfed me in charge whenever she was gone."
"The thing is, I caused the Smurfs to forget about the dam that they were supposed to be smurfing on, when I assumed authority and made the Smurfs service me as their king and not the task that Papa Smurf wanted them to smurf on," Brainy added. "The village would have been flooded if your Grandpa Smurf hadn't smurfed back from his trip to stop us from fighting with each other."
"I'm sorry that you don't believe that your Papa could be such a terrible Smurf like that, honey, but every Smurf makes mistakes, including me, and those are the parts of our history that we should learn from so we don't repeat those mistakes," Librarian said to Sophia.
"So you think my story idea is too unsmurfy to write about, simply because I don't agree with you?" Sophia asked.
"There's nothing unsmurfy about your story idea, Sophia, as long as you know the facts and don't try to smurf them up with a lot of fictional embellishments that make people wonder if your story even actually happened," Brainy said.
Sophia sighed. "I always smurfed up to you as my hero, Papa. I don't want anything to make you smurf like you're anything other than one."
"I appreciate you trying to smurf up to me as the Smurf you should emulate, Sophia, and you should never give up being the smart little daughter that I expect you to be, for your sake and for everyone else's, because your friends are going to smurf to you when they need information that they can't smurf elsewhere," Brainy said consolingly.
"Just smurf it easy on trying to smurf your Papa as a hero in places where he honestly never felt that he was one, sweetheart," Librarian said, placing her hand on Sophia's to express her concern for her daughter.
Later on in her own house, Sophia continued with writing her story. She was now at the part where Anonymous, who became Lord Smurf the First, would make his first official decree to his fellow Smurfs through Harmony, whom he assigned to be his official spokesperson. Every Smurf had now gathered around Harmony as they heard him sound a signal from his drum kit.
"The first official decree: 'All Smurfs are to respect and obey Lord Smurf the First at all times'," Harmony stated. "'Any Smurf refusing to do so will be severely smurfed.'"
"Severely smurfed?" Handy repeated.
"Well, that's a bit strong, much stronger than my odor," Sloppy said.
"Michty me, I didn't think the laddie would smurf the offense of laughing at him so seriously," Duncan said.
"I certainly wasn't expecting this response from him myself, my friend," Tapper said.
"Just who does he smurf he is, anyway, calling himself Lord Smurf the First and then smurfing us orders like this?" Smurfette wondered.
"And how come Tailor doesn't smurf me a suit like his?" Vanity added.
"Hey, what's smurfing on with this, Harmony Smurf?" Hefty demanded.
"Don't smurf at me. I'm just smurfing what's on this decree that comes straight from Lord Smurf the First," Harmony responded.
"See, Smurfs? What did I smurf you?" Brainy said in his usual I-told-you-so tone. "That's why you should have voted for me instead of Anonymous Smurf, because there's no telling what a Smurf like him would actually do with power, since we all know that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absosmurfly, and furthermore..."
"Wait right here," Hefty told his fellow Smurfs as he rubbed his right arm and made a fist with his right hand. "I'm going to smurf a few words with Lord Smurf the First about this."
"Yeah, that's the spirit, Hefty," Handy said in encouragement as he and the other Smurfs watched Hefty head off in the direction of Anonymous' house.
Anonymous soon heard the loud pounding on his door which startled him. He went to open it, and suddenly found himself face to face with a very angry Hefty Smurf. "Okay, just who do you smurf you are, smurfing us this smurfery?" Hefty shouted, backing Anonymous into a wall and poking his chest hard several times. "You think just because you're elected, you can smurf us around like that? And do you think others are going to smurf for that as well?"
Anonymous was so startled by Hefty's confrontation that it took him a while to steel himself up and address his fellow Smurf without any fear. "But...but...but that's the reason I need Smurfs like you," he finally said. "I need a Smurf who's strong enough to smurf discipline among the Smurfs. And with your great qualities, I can trust that you will be able to smurf law and order in this village. Do you agree?"
Hefty found himself surprised to even agree with what Anonymous was saying about him. "Well, I..."
"Good, because I hereby appoint you as captain-colonel-general in chief of the Royal Law Enforcement Bureau," Anonymous said boldly, placing his hand on Hefty's shoulder. "Your first duty is to pick a few Smurfs that are well-smurfed to be your deputies."
Outside, the other Smurfs were waiting, wondering what's going on with Hefty's confrontation with Anonymous. "Poor Lord Smurf the First...I'm starting to feel really sorry for the laddie and what he must be smurfing through right now," Duncan said.
"Hey, here comes Hefty," Tuffy said, as they turned toward the door of Anonymous' house to see Hefty exit. He had a look upon his face that made the others wonder how his confrontation with Anonymous went.
Then suddenly Hefty pointed out to three Smurfs standing in the crowd...three of which surprisingly didn't include Duncan or Tuffy. "You, you, and you...you will smurf with me, by the order of Lord Smurf the First," he commanded.
"What about me?" Brainy asked, sounding like he was left out.
"Michty me, what in smurf's name is happening?" Duncan asked, looking on in surprise.
"Yeah, what is Hefty Smurf doing with those Smurfs?" Tuffy asked, also surprised.
"This can't be!" Handy exclaimed, as they now saw that the three Smurfs chosen by Hefty were given halberds to carry along with their captain and started marching forth under his orders.
"All right, everyone, get smurfing," Hefty shouted, as the others fearfully backed away from him. "And if anyone smurfs trouble, I'll smurf him a good one."
Meanwhile, Anonymous took a good look around his house and realized that where he lived wasn't suitable enough for a king, so he wrote up another decree for Harmony to announce to the general public.
"A public notice to all the Smurfs," Harmony spoke, "By the order of Lord Smurf the First, all Smurfs must report in the main smurf in one hour with shovels and pickaxes to smurf the grand palace of our Majesty."
This made the Smurfs groan in protest. "A grand palace? He can go smurf in a shack for all I smurf," one Smurf said.
"I'd say let him smurf his own palace if he really wants it," another Smurf said.
"Same here," a third Smurf said, and they all went their separate ways after hearing the decree.
An hour later, Anonymous stepped out of his house and went to the village square, hoping that he would find many Smurfs just eager and waiting to pay homage to him by building his grand palace. But when he got there, all Anonymous saw were three Smurfs -- Brainy, Clumsy, and Tapper -- standing there with shovels.
"Well, your Royal Smurfiness, I'm here, and at least we have a few other volunteers for the job," Brainy said.
This made Anonymous very angry. "CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD!" he shouted.
"There's no need to shout, your Majesty," Brainy said. "I'll go smurf him right away."
"There's no need to smurf anywhere, my fellow Brainy," Tapper said as he saw Hefty and his guards approaching them.
"I want you to go and smurf as many Smurfs as you can and smurf them under threat of smurf to smurf my new palace," Anonymous commanded Hefty. "Is that understood?"
"Yes, Your Lordship, I'll smurf on it right away," Hefty said, as he and his guards went forth to round up every Smurf that they can.
"Gosh, Tapper, I wonder why Lord Smurf the First would be this harsh in getting Smurfs to smurf his royal palace," Clumsy said.
"I do not like how things are smurfing around here, my fellow Clumsy, but I will smurf respect for our king's authority nonetheless," Tapper replied.
The Smurfs reacted in anger as they were rounded up from their homes to start building the palace. "Who do you smurf you are? Smurfing us under threat of smurf like that?"
"You should be ashamed of yourselves to smurf us like that!"
"It's a violation of the rights of every Smurf!"
"You and Lord Smurf the First won't smurf away with this!"
"This is a disgrace!"
Soon work on the grand palace began, as the guards oversaw the Smurfs to make sure none of them were slacking off or doing anything that they deemed was unsmurfy. Most of the Smurfs assembled for the job didn't like how they were being used to perform such a construction job.
"I hate smurfing holes," Grouchy said as he and a few other Smurfs were deep inside one.
"So do we!" the few other Smurfs shouted.
Lazy decided that he was going to take a break and sneak off to rest. He looked to see that nobody else was looking, then tried to sneak away, but soon found himself face to face with Hefty, who just stared at him with a very cold hard stare. Lazy realized that he wasn't going to be able to sneak off anywhere and so returned back to what he was doing. However, he decided to make it look like he was working and just fell asleep while he was leaning on his shovel.
"Hey, here comes Lord Smurf the First!" one of the Smurfs shouted. Every Smurf turned to see that Anonymous was paying a visit to the construction site to see how things were going firsthand.
"I see that things are smurfing along pretty well without any problems, are they not, Handy?" Anonymous said as he spoke directly to Handy after his observation.
"We should have your grand palace complete in a few days, by my estimation, your Lordship," Handy replied.
"A smurfy job you're doing," Anonymous said, smiling. "Continue."
"Yes, sir, Lord Smurf the First," Brainy said, overhearing the conversation. After Anonymous had left the construction site, Brainy went around to rally his fellow Smurfs. "Okay, every Smurf, let's smurf our hearts and souls into our smurf for our Majesty Lord Smurf the First. And if our Smurfship wants us to smurf our best for him, then that's what we're going to smurf."
"Michty me, can you believe what we're smurfing from Brainy's own mouth, laddie?" Duncan said, speaking in a low voice to his friend Tapper. "I can't believe this is the same Smurf who was originally opposing Anonymous being the village leader, and now he seems to be smurfing all over him."
"I would have to agree with you that Brainy's behavior change is indeed strange, my fellow Duncan," Tapper replied. "But what can we expect from Brainy anyway except to follow whoever becomes our leader."
"I would have liked Anonymous better as a leader if he wasn't smurfing this ridiculous title of Lord Smurf the First, like he's supposed to be the lord of everything like your Almighty," Duncan said.
"It's right for us to smurf out best for Lord Smurf the First, because he smurfs only the best for us, my fellow Smurfs," Brainy continued rambling on. "Every leader should always be entitled to the admiration of those he is in charge of, and Lord Smurf the First is a Smurf who's truly worthy of the admiration he's come to expect from all of..."
Brainy's ramblings were cut short as a Smurf on top of a scaffolding dropped a bucket of white paint right on his head. The Smurfs all laughed as Brainy staggered around, trying to get his bearings as he couldn't see where he was going.
"I'm going to tell Lord Smurf the First about this, Smurfs, just you wait," Brainy complained.
Within a few days, the work on the grand palace was complete. The Smurfs had all gathered around the front of the huge building as Lord Smurf the First was about to make his solemn entry. Soon with Harmony taking the lead as the drummer, Anonymous was being carried in a palanquin, with him now wearing a crown and a regal cape to go with his gold-colored suit and carrying a mushroom-topped scepter, until the two Smurfs bearing his palanquin stopped at the palace's entrance. Anonymous stepped out, and the Smurfs stepped back and gave him room to make his entry.
"Well, I'll be smurfed, laddies," Duncan said as he and the other Smurfs with him watched. "He's smurfing the royal treatment"
"He's smurfing too big for his smurfs, Dunk," Tuffy said.
"That palace is just as big as his head...a smurfect fit," Jokey said with a laugh.
"Oh, doesn't he look so smurfy in that gorgeous cape, Smurfette?" Vanity said. "It just smurfs my breath away looking at him."
"I think this display is just a bit too much for my smurf, Vanity," Smurfette said with a bit of disgust.
Soon Anonymous emerged from the balcony of his palace to speak to the assembled crowd of Smurfs below. "Fellow gentlesmurfs," he began with a loud voice, "you have indeed honored me with such a grand and magnificent palace which I will treasure in my smurf forever. And for all the hard work you have smurfed into smurfing this, all I can smurf is...I am proud of you."
Anonymous had his eyes closed the entire time he said that. When he opened them, though, he saw that the only Smurfs left standing to give him praise were Brainy and Clumsy, both of whom were clapping. "Long live Lord Smurf the First," they both shouted enthusiastically.
Anonymous just stared angrily at the two Smurfs, feeling insulted by the lack of attention the others were giving him.
Sometime later, Hefty was going about on his rounds as the captain of the guard when Jokey approached him carrying a present. "Hey, Hefty, I've got a little present for you for all the hard work you're smurfing protecting us," Jokey said.
"For me?" Hefty said, stopping to receive the gift. "I wonder what it is that's so worthy of smurfing the captain of the guard?"
"Why don't you open it to find out? It's a real surprise," Jokey said with a slight laugh.
Hefty put down his halberd and opened the present, only for it to explode in his face. Jokey burst out laughing when he saw Hefty with his face all covered in soot. "See? I told you it was a surprise!" he said while laughing.
Hefty looked very angrily at Jokey. "Oh, so you want to be a wise Smurf, eh?" he said as he picked up his halberd and pointed the bladed end of it toward Jokey. "Let's see you laugh when I smurf you before our Majesty, for daring to smurf an insult to his royal guards, especially its captain."
Jokey looked fearful as he was brought before Lord Smurf the First, who was now sitting on his throne in the room overlooking the village. The other Smurfs who were passing by this scene were wondering what was going on that would bring Jokey in danger of breaking the law and being brought before the king.
"It smurfed like this, Your Grace," Hefty began to say after Jokey was brought into the throne room before the king. "He said, 'I've got a little present for you,' and..."
"...and you opened it, and it went kasmurf in your face," Anonymous finished what Hefty was about to say, laughing afterward. "Oh, Captain, you've got to have a smurf of humor. This is Jokey Smurf's usual style of making sure we don't smurf ourselves too seriously around here. This case is officially dismissed." He then turned to Jokey. "You are free to go, Jokey Smurf, but don't ever smurf anything like this ever again."
"Oh, thank you, your Royal Smurfiness," Jokey said, sounding a bit grateful. "Here, I've got a little present for you as a token of my esteem."
"For me?" Anonymous said as Jokey presented him with a gift. "Oh, this should be a gift that's worthy of my royal title and smurfing. Thank you."
"Don't mention it," Jokey said with a smile.
Anonymous opened the present, only for it to expode and cover his face in soot. Jokey laughed as he pulled a surprise on the king himself. But Anonymous was not amused. "SMURF HIM INTO PRISON!" he shouted.
Jokey looked surprised and fearful as Hefty herded him away from the throne room. "To...to prison...just for that?" he protested. "You've got to be smurfing, right? Come on, Your Lordship, smurf something, huh?"
A short while later, Jokey found himself in a prison cell, wearing a striped hat and pants and wearing a ball and chain around his left ankle. "I guess he wasn't smurfing," he said to himself sadly.
Almost immediately word of Jokey's arrest and imprisonment spread throughout the entire village. Most of the Smurfs seem outraged that Lord Smurf the First would do such a thing to Jokey of all Smurfs.
"Sacre bleu, this is an outrageous abuse of power," Painter vehemently said.
"I hate abuse of power," Grouchy said.
"I can't believe that such a Smurf like him would turn out to be a power-hungry tyrant," Poet said.
"I hate power-hungry tyrants," Grouchy said.
"Gosh, this sounds real serious," Clumsy said as he was standing around with his fellow Smurfs talking about the incident.
"But what are we going to smurf about it?" Smurfette asked.
"What can we do, Smurfette?" Handy said. "Anonymous is king of the village, and we either smurf in line or we smurf the same thing that Jokey smurfed."
"Well, I'd like to smurf that laddie a good piece of my smurf, whether he's king or not," Duncan said.
"Hold it, my fellow Smurfs," Brainy said. "I'm sure that Lord Smurf the First is a Smurf that is pretty capable of listening to reason. I am very confident in the belief that if I could smurf with him on behalf of our fellow Smurf Jokey, he would be able to smurf the error of his ways and smurf Jokey from his custody."
"I would have to agree with Brainy on this, my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said. "Let's see if our king is capable of smurfing wise and sound reasoning first before we smurf anything more violent."
"It's your show, Brainy Smurf," Handy said.
Brainy nodded in acceptance before he headed straight into Lord Smurf the First's throne room to seek an audience with the king. "Lord Smurf the First, I really hate to be a bother," Brainy began, "but in all fairness, the Smurfs and I smurf that you haven't smurfed right in the matter of Jokey Smurf. And it's my opinion that you should smurf Jokey Smurf free, because of the proverb, 'the smurf populi is the smurf Dei.' And by smurfing Jokey Smurf without proper due process, you are..."
Brainy was promptly hurled out of the castle by Hefty, landing on his head. "...violating his legal rights as a citizen of the Smurf Village," he finished with a groan.
The other Smurfs who saw this happening were appalled by this action. "Down with Lord Smurf the First!" they all shouted.
"C'mon, laddies, to the palace!" Duncan shouted, as he led a group of Smurfs to storm the palace.
"We're not gonna take it...no, we ain't gonna take it...we're not gonna take it anymore," Sloppy sang as he joined the Smurfs in their revolt.
Tracker saw the angry crowd approaching and went into the throne room to warn his king. "Lord Smurf the First, the Smurfs are in revolt!" he said. "They're smurfing straight to the palace smurfing anti-Lord Smurf statements!"
"Release the guards," Anonymous commanded.
Soon the guards surrounded the entrance to the palace and advanced toward the angry crowd, driving them away. The Smurfs all responded with boos and negative remarks as they made their retreat.
"Smurfing the palace directly isn't going to smurf us anywhere, laddies," Duncan said after their retreat. "We need to smurf another plan of attack."
"I have an idea, but we'll need to smurf this a secret," Smurfette said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 06:07 AM
Part 4
It was late at night in the Smurf Village when all the Smurfs were asleep. A group of Smurfs were waiting and watching outside Sophia's house, hoping that she would go to sleep sometime soon. After a long while, the light went off in her house and everything appeared dark as they knew Sophia must have went off to sleep.
"Well, lads and lassies, there's our chance," Malcolm said.
"I don't like what we're trying to smurf with Sophia, stealing her story before she even finishes smurfing it," Goofy said.
"We're not stealing anything, Goofy, we're just borrowing it," Gillian said.
"Yeah, we promise to smurf it back to her when we're finished smurfing what she smurfed so far," Meaghan said.
"Remember our plan," Bruno said. "We smurf in and out of there fast with the book. We don't want to smurf the attention of the night watchsmurf, got it?"
"Don't worry, laddie, I've got this smurfed down to a science," Malcolm said as he approached the back of Sophia's house very quietly.
The other Smurfs in the group watched with caution as Malcolm opened the window shutters and crept inside without making any noise. He looked around to see if there was anything that resembled the book Goofy said she was writing in, and then he saw it lying right on top of a table, next to a quill and inkwell. He carefully took it from the table and started to head back toward the window to make his escape when he heard a whistle from outside. It was his fellow Smurfs signaling for him to remain still, as the night watchman Smurf was making his rounds through the village to see that there was no suspicious activity going on. Malcolm hid deep in the shadows while his fellow Smurfs outside did the same, keeping as quiet as they could possibly be until the immediate danger was past.
After a while, Malcolm heard another whistle, which was a signal that it was now clear for him to escape. He carefully crawled back through the window and closed its shutters so that Sophia wouldn't know anybody had been inside...at least until she found that her book was missing. He knew that he and his fellow Smurfs wouldn't hear the end of Sophia telling the others that a burglar had come into her house to steal her work, but they would deal with that when the time came. For now, though, they got just what they wanted from her.
"Here it is, lads and lassies...the book of her unfinished story," Malcolm said as he handed them the item in question.
"Good work, Malcolm," Bruno said. "I guess you deserve the nickname Gutsy Junior after all."
"I don't know if we should be smurfing through Sophia's unfinished story, you Smurfs," Goofy said.
"What's the matter, Goofy...are you too afraid to smurf your own friend's work to see what she may have smurfed about your Papa Smurf?" Meaghan asked.
"Of course not, Meaghan," Goofy said. "But this is what she wants to smurf private until it's time to be published, that's all."
"We just simply don't tell anybody what we have smurfed from her book, not even Sophia," Gillian said.
"Enough talking...let's smurf open the book and see what's smurfed in it," Bruno said, sounding very eager.
They went behind a big tree and then lit up a candle as they opened the book to see what was written on the pages. But when they did, they were surprised to find out something that they didn't expect. "This book...there's nothing smurfed in it at all!" Goofy said.
Malcolm looked through all the pages, and saw that they were blank. "Michty me, it smurfs like Sophia knew what we're going to smurf and tricked us into smurfing this," he said.
"A very clever obsmurfation, Malcolm," a voice broke in. The group of Smurfs turned and saw that Sophia was awake and had found out what they have been doing. "Did you think I would just let you smurf off with my work when it is yet unfinished, and not smurf it under lock and key in a place that none of you are able to smurf?"
Goofy just looked at Sophia and made a slight chuckle. "Uh...you're not going to tell Uncle Empath what just happened tonight, are you, Sophia?"
"Why, Goofy, I would never expose you to the reprimand of our village leader," Sophia said. "But I just might smurf it to your friends, if they don't promise to smurf my unfinished work alone until it's ready."
"Smurf your work alone?" Malcolm said. "Uh, sure, lassie, that's what we will promise to do...isn't that right?"
Bruno, Meaghan, and Gillian immediately spoke up and made the same promise to Sophia right on the spot.
"I see that you are very reasonable Smurfs, even if you are so eager to smurf the master work of a Smurf who is about to become a legendary writer in her own time," Sophia said, sounding very pleased. "Now if you don't mind, it's time for me to smurf off to bed, so I will need my book back in case I need to smurf all over with my work."
"Well, here you smurf, Sophia," Bruno said as he handed the book back to his friend.
After Sophia headed back to her house, they all let out a sigh of relief. "Well, that was very close," Meaghan said.
"Yeah, but the whole thing was all for nothing," Gillian said. "Now we'll never find out what it is that Sophia smurfed in her story."
"I don't smurf what's the big deal, if we all knew what really happened years ago when Uncle Brainy became King Smurf," Goofy said.
"But none of us even smurfed in that time, Goofy, which is the whole point," Malcolm said. "All we knew about what happened is what our parents had smurfed us, and believe me, it doesn't even smurf for much of a story for how long the whole thing had lasted."
"Are you starting to question the actual history of what our parents had smurfed through, Malcolm?" Bruno asked.
"My Papa Smurf and Uncle Tapper were both out of the village when the whole thing was smurfed, Bruno," Malcolm said. "They were so eager to smurf a human village for the first time that they didn't even let the other Smurfs know that they were gone."
"Well, maybe things did smurf a little differently from how we were smurfed, and only Uncle Brainy knows the truth, which is why he hardly smurfs much about that time," Gillian said.
"We're not going to find out until that story gets finished and published, so I think it's better to just leave Sophia alone until then," Goofy suggested.
Malcolm sighed. "I agree with you, laddie. I just feel jealous that I can't smurf anyone's mind like Uncle Empath or even Liana."
"You wouldn't like what I would find if I could smurf your mind, Malcolm," Meaghan said with a hint of a smirk.
By morning, Sophia was up and ready to continue her writing. She ate a light breakfast and went off by herself to write the next few chapters of her story. She was now at a point in the story which reminded her of the previous night with the attempted burglary of her unfinished story -- where it was now night in the Smurf Village, and a Smurf was seen sneaking out of his house wearing a mask and a cape. He crept quietly in the shadows, trying to keep himself out of sight from the patrolling guards as much as possible. He was going to a specific house in the village for reasons only he and some others knew about.
He knocked quietly on the door of the house as soon as he got there, and a small window opened in the door, showing a pair of eyes on the other side. "Why did the smurf cross the smurf?" the pair of eyes asked.
"To smurf to the other side," the masked Smurf whispered back.
"Good...you may enter," the pair of eyes said. The door opened, and another Smurf wearing a mask and cape quietly greeted him as he entered the house and went down into a cellar where other Smurfs with capes and masks were also meeting together.
Duncan, one of the Smurfs wearing a mask, greeted the visitor as he sat down at the table with the others. He had shaved off his sideburns, trimmed down his bushy eyebrows, and disguised himself so that he appeared as a regular Smurf. "Ah, now that every Smurf is here, let's smurf down to business," he spoke. "Fellow Smurfs, the time has come for us to smurf an end to our oppressor. You know who I'm smurfing about?"
"No, who?" Dimwitty asked.
Another Smurf whispered the answer into Dimwitty's ear.
"Oh, I get it...LORD SMURF THE FIRST!" Dimwitty said a little too loudly, causing the other Smurfs to shush him.
"The tyrant has smurfed power by smurfing promises that he has not smurfed, and...," Duncan started to continue, but was soon interrupted by Brainy.
"See, I have smurfed you so," Brainy said. "If you had only voted for me instead of that Smurf, we wouldn't be in this smurfdicament in the first smurf. Besides, when I smurf promises, I always intend to smurf them, and..."
Tuffy bonked Brainy on the back of the head with his fist to get him to shut up.
"And now we have just smurfed an unprecedented injustice, laddies," Duncan said. "A Smurf has been smurfed into prison today for a ridiculous reason. This Smurf that I'm talking about is a hero."
"What...Lord Smurf the First is a hero?" Dimwitty said, sounding confused. "But I thought..."
"No, you idiot, he's smurfing about Jokey Smurf," Grouchy responded.
"This time he's smurfed too far, and we're not going to smurf up with this anymore," Duncan said. "Down with you-know-who!"
"Yes, yes, I know who!" Dimwitty said excitedly. "Down with Jokey Smurf!"
"It's time for us to smurf into action as the Rebellion Of The Smurfs, and our first act will be to free the Smurf who has smurfed his freedom for us," Duncan said.
"The thing is, we can't keep smurfing here to find new recruits to our cause," Tuffy said. "Lord Smurf the First's forces will find out where we've been smurfing our activities from and smurf us down for good."
"That's why the minute you Smurfs rescue Jokey, you must smurf into the woods to set up a smurf of operations there," Smurfette said. "I'll stay here and see if I can smurf any other Smurfs who would be willing to turn against Lord Smurf the First."
"That way Lord Smurf the First will suspect nothing, as long as Smurfette can keep him and his loyal guards from thinking she's got anything to smurf with the Rebellion," Duncan said. "Okay, laddies...to the prison we smurf!"
"Good luck, boys," Smurfette said as she saw every Smurf quietly leave the house together.
"I didn't know that Lord Smurf the First was smurfed into prison," Dimwitty whispered as they walked in line behind each other.
"Shhh...be quiet," one of the Smurfs whispered back.
"I hate shhh's," Grouchy whispered.
Scaredy was standing outside the prison door, watching for anything in the night that moved. He didn't like being a night watchman because he was afraid of what moved in the dark, but he was chosen to be a deputy of the guards and he wasn't going to shirk his duty no matter what.
"Hey, psst," a whispery voice called out to Scaredy.
"Who...who's there?" Scaredy said as he cautiously approached where the sound was coming from. He soon turned and saw a bottle of what appeared to be smurfberry wine sitting on the ground with a card attached to it.
"Mmmm...a bottle of smurfberry wine," Scaredy said, sounding relieved. He read the card attached to it as he uncorked the bottle. "'Courtesy of Lord Smurf the First'...how nice!"
He took the whole bottle and drank it in one swallow. He hiccuped as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and then all of a sudden he was out like a light.
The masked Smurfs were watching Scaredy from the shadows. "Good...the sleeping potion has smurfed its trick, laddies," Duncan said. "Let's go."
They quietly crept past Scaredy as he slept like a baby, then made their way inside the prison to the door of the cell where Jokey was being held. "Oh, smurf it all...the door is locked," Tuffy said after he struggled to get it open.
"No time to smurf for the key...we'll have to smurf it down at the count of three," Duncan said.
Meanwhile, outside the prison tower, Tracker was just about to relieve Scaredy of his night watch duty when he noticed that his fellow guard was lying on the ground, asleep with a bottle in his hand. He had a feeling that somebody must be breaking into the prison to free Jokey.
Inside the tower, Duncan, Tuffy, and Grouchy were ready to break the door down. "Get ready, laddies," Duncan said as the three Smurfs stood some distance away from the door. "One...two...three!"
The three Smurfs charged straight for the door and knocked it down, waking up Jokey when he was sleeping. He was at first startled to see three Smurfs coming to his rescue, and then he was amused. "Boy, you look really smurfy in those masks," Jokey said loudly while laughing.
"Shhh, be quiet, Jokey" Duncan warned. "We're trying to smurf you out of here."
"SOUND THE ALARM! THE PRISONER HAS ESCAPED!" Tracker shouted, waking Anonymous from his sleep in his royal bedroom.
Duncan used his strength to break Jokey free from the ball and chain his left ankle was bound to. "Quick, let's smurf for it, laddies," Duncan said, as the group of masked Smurfs fled down the stairs with Jokey following them.
"Follow me, Smurfs!" Anonymous shouted, with another Smurf as his guard following right behind him as he headed straight for the prison. He saw the masked Smurfs just as they were leaving the prison with Jokey. "There they are! Smurf them!"
"Gosh, Lord Smurf the First sure don't look happy now that we smurfed his prisoner," Dimwitty said.
"I hate smurfing prisoners," Grouchy said.
"Stop right there! That's an order!" Anonymous shouted as he chased the masked Smurfs who were fleeing from him and his guards.
"So smurfy of you to come and smurf me free," Jokey said, sounding grateful. "In fact, I've got a little present for you just to smurf my appreciation for..."
"Never mind the presents, Jokey," Tuffy said. "We've got to smurf to the forest while we can in order to escape."
"Remember, Lord Smurf the First," Brainy said as he turned to look at his pursuers, "that good always smurfs out in the end, and that someday you'll be smurfing dust, because as the saying smurfs,..."
But as Brainy was too busy lecturing, he paid no attention to where he was going until he found himself tripping over a rock. The guards quickly came and captured Brainy, dragging him away.
"Really, Lord Smurf the First, I did nothing," Brainy protested. "It wasn't me! I'm totally innocent!"
"Smurf the others, smurf or alive," Anonymous ordered the guards as he sent them out into the forest to chase after the fugitives. "Don't let them escape!"
"You smurfed the king, Smurfs...let's smurf out and find them," Hefty said as they entered the dark forest.
By the following morning, Hefty and the guards returned to report to the king. "We smurfed all night, Your Royal Smurfiness, but we smurfed no sign of the fugitives," Hefty said. "It's like trying to smurf a needle in a haysmurf."
"Well, gentlesmurfs, I'm giving you three days to smurf in the fugitives, bound and smurfed, so get smurfing," Anonymous commanded.
"Yes, Your Lordship," Hefty said as he and his guards briefly bowed before their king.
Just as the guards were leaving the throne room, Smurfette had just entered. "Oh, Your Majesty, you seem so upsmurfed," Smurfette said. "Is there anything that I can do to make you feel smurfy?"
"I do not remember asking you to smurf me any company, Smurfette," Anonymous said. "What is it that you really want?"
"What I really want is for my king to be treated like a king, and that's what I'm going to smurf for you," Smurfette said. "The Smurfs need to smurf you for how strong and brave you really are as their king, and that you are worthy to smurf the respect of others who are willing to smurf you night and day...even as your personal consort."
Anonymous seemed to like the idea of Smurfette being his "personal consort". "Have Greedy smurf me the finest cookies that he can smurf me from his kitchen, along with some fresh smurfberry wine from Vino," Anonymous commanded. "I'll see if there's anything else that you can smurf for me, Smurfette."
"Oh, yes, my king, right away," Smurfette said, bowing before Anonymous before leaving to fulfill his order.
When Smurfette was alone with Greedy in his kitchen, she said quietly to him, "Lord Smurf the First seems really upsmurfed. I have a feeling that the other Smurfs who rescued Jokey are now smurfing in the forest."
"I sure hope the other Smurfs are able to smurf out of sight while they smurf up their base of operations, Smurfette," Greedy said. "In the meantime, we shouldn't let Lord Smurf the First know that we know what he's up to."
"Don't worry about that, Greedy," Smurfette said. "A girl Smurf knows how to smurf things a secret."
Meanwhile, in the prison tower, Brainy was now wearing prison stripes, but nonetheless he felt proud of what happened to him. "I can smurf it now: 'Brainy Smurf, the hero, the defender of liberty'," he said to himself, smiling. "The others will come to smurf me free and I will smurf in triumph."
Two days later, Poet was heading off into the forest with a basket in his hand when he was stopped by Hefty. "Hey, you there!" he demanded. "Just where do you think you are smurfing off to?"
"Oh, I'm just smurfing into the forest to smurf some blueberries for Lord Smurf the First," Poet answered.
"Hmmm...all right," Hefty said after briefly scrutinizing his fellow Smurf. Poet walked off, whistling the Smurf song as he entered the forest. He went as far as he could to make it look like he was picking blueberries from a bush when he stopped to look and make sure no other Smurf was around, and then he ran off into the forest as fast as he could.
"Hey! Where are you! Hey!" Poet called out.
"Stop!" a voice said as Poet passed near a bush. Poet stopped running and began to wonder what was going on as the voice continued to speak. "Don't smurf back." A pair of hands covered Poet's eyes with a blindfold. "Smurf your hands behind your back." Poet put his hands behind his back, where they were soon bound with rope. "Smurf forward."
With no choice but to do what the voice was telling him to do, Poet moved forward, following the directions of the voice as he continued to travel to a part of a forest that he knew nothing about. The walking seemed to go on forever, and then the voice said, "Halt." Poet stopped, wondering what else was going to happen next.
"Now which will it be: 'Long live Lord Smurf the First' or 'Down with Lord Smurf the Worst'?" the voice asked.
Poet felt a lump in his throat. "Well, uh...you know me, what do you think?" he replied.
"Answer us," the voice said sharply.
"Oh, smurf it all!" Poet said. "You can smurf what you want with me, but...DOWN WITH LORD SMURF THE WORST!"
Soon he could hear the cheers of other voices. Poet felt relieved as he was soon loosed from his bonds and the blindfold came off so he could see where he was now. He was surrounded by a group of Smurfs who have built a camp for themselves out in the forest.
"Welcome to our base camp, laddie," Duncan greeted, giving Poet a hug. His sideburns and eyebrows have started to grow in again, and he managed to get his kilt and fluffy-tipped hat smuggled out.
"Real smurfy, isn't it?" Dimwitty said.
"Here, I've smurfed a little present for you," Jokey said, as he approached Poet with a gift.
"You smurfed just in time," Tuffy said. "Tonight we're going to smurf a blow against Lord Smurf the First."
"Oh, I'd love to hear what you smurfed in store for him," Poet said, sounding eager.
Meanwhile, back in the Smurf Village, Hefty reported what had happened to his king. "...and Poet said he would smurf blueberries, so I let him leave the village, and he hasn't resmurfed, and he's the sixth one in two days..."
Anonymous sat on his throne, burning with anger at the news.
That night, there were Smurfs working in the shadows of the Smurf Village, using paint and paintbrushes for a purpose only they themselves knew. They kept as quiet and out of sight as they could until their purpose was complete.
"Are you finished?" one of the Smurfs said to the other after a good deal of time had passed.
"We're all set," the other Smurf said. "Quick, let's smurf out of here."
By morning, Anonymous was attended to by Vanity, who brought the king his royal vestments to wear. "Oh, your Royal Smurfiness, you smurf so handsome whenever you smurf on your royal crown and cape," Vanity gushed as he watched Anonymous standing before the mirror putting on his crown and cape.
"I'm glad to have a Smurf of your taste as my personal servant in charge of my wardrobe," Anonymous said, smiling.
"If only I could dress up in something that would make me be just as smurfy as you are...but alas, I cannot permit myself to smurf the excellence of your splendor," Vanity said.
"Yes, it's such a shame," Anonymous said as he moved away from the mirror. "I'll have to see if there's something that Tailor can smurf for you to make you smurf out from all the others."
"Why, thank you, your Grace...I would very much be grateful," Vanity said, bowing before the king as he headed for the entrance of the castle.
"What shall my king smurf today?" Smurfette asked politely as she greeted him with a kiss.
"Today I will smurf into the village and smurf hands with the common Smurfs, Smurfette," Anonymous said. "I might as well smurf something that will smurf up my popularity. You make sure that the palace is well-smurfed while I'm gone."
"Oh, your smurf is my command, your Grace," Smurfette said, smiling as she watched Anonymous leave from the palace inside his palanquin.
Anonymous soon spotted a few Smurfs gathered around a bulletin board, laughing at something. He ordered the Smurfs carrying his palanquin to stop so he could get out and investigate the matter for himself. "Greetings, my good Smurfs," Anonymous said. "What is it that you are..."
Anonymous suddenly reacted in shock as he saw a message painted on the bulletin board: DOWN WITH LORD SMURF THE WORST.
He turned and saw that the village itself was littered with similar messages painted everywhere. They read:
SMURFS UNITE AGAINST LORD SMURF THE WORST
YOUR KING LORD SMURF THE WORST IS A TYRANT
WE WANT FREEDOM
LORD SMURF THE WORST IS UNJUST
WE WILL NOT SMURF FOR LORD SMURF THE WORST
And there were many others.
"How dare they!" Anonymous shouted, swearing profanities as he looked around. "Who's responsible for smurfing up the walls with these unsmurfy insulting messages?"
"It's the rebels, your Grace," one of the Smurfs said.
"Smurf this scandalous graffiti off these walls RIGHT NOW!" Anonymous commanded. "I'll smurf them what a foolish thing it is to mock and defy Lord Smurf the First!"
As Anonymous walked away, the Smurfs laughed as they saw LORD SMURF THE WORST pinned on the back of his royal cape.
Meanwhile, inside the prison, Brainy looked rather impatient. "Well, they're certainly smurfing their time in smurfing to my rescue," he said to himself.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 06:14 AM
Part 5
Sophia was interrupted from her writing when Empath passed by her while walking near the forest. "Salutations, my little Sophia," he greeted. "This smurf can sense that you're busy writing a fictional account of historical events."
"Oh, hello there, Uncle Empath," Sophia greeted back. "I guess that I can't hide anything from you, can I?"
Empath laughed. "Don't worry, Sophia, your secret is safe with this smurf. This smurf is only concerned because there was some rumors of a break-in to your house last night. This smurf wants to make sure that everything is all right with you."
"Me? Well, everything was well taken smurf of, Uncle Empath," Sophia said. "There was nothing of importance that anybody smurfed while I was sleeping."
"This smurf can understand how important your work must be to your friends, Sophia, if it has anything to do with actual events that happened in the Smurf Village," Empath said. "What this smurf is trying to understand is why you're even writing this work in the first place."
Sophia looked uncomfortable trying to answer. "I feel ashamed of what my Papa Smurf became back before you smurfed home for good, Uncle Empath...that he could be the worst Smurf that would ever be the king of the Smurfs."
"There's nothing wrong with how you feel about your Papa Smurf, Sophia," Empath said. "Trying to come to terms with the unsavory parts of your parents' past is something you'll have to face sooner or later, and something you'll have to make peace with your parents about."
"But were there any other Smurfs that were bad leaders just like my Papa Smurf was?" Sophia asked.
"As a matter of fact, your Uncle Greedy was the leader of the village when he was under the influence of the Crown Of The Titans, Sophia," Empath replied. "Granted, he used its power to hypnotize all but a few of the Smurfs into doing his bidding, but if it weren't for the few who escaped the crown's power and went to seek out the other crown to use it against Greedy, your parents would never have met."
"But that was with a magical crown that Greedy smurfed control over the entire village," Sophia said. "My Papa Smurf smurfed control just by his own power alone, and it surprises me on how he was able to smurf it just by being himself."
"This smurf was admittedly surprised to hear it coming from Brainy himself when this smurf came home for good, Sophia," Empath said. "Fortunately, his reign as king only lasted a single day, as your Grandpa Smurf's journey to get the wrinkleroot only lasted that long so he could return and put a stop to your Papa Smurf's reign before the dam collapsed."
"So do you think that I shouldn't be smurfing this story about the Smurf that I think became King Smurf back in those days?" Sophia asked.
"There's nothing wrong with writing a fictional story about the past, Sophia, just as long as you and the readers know that it is fictional and not reality," Empath answered. "This smurf will make sure that nobody else bothers you about the story until it is time for you to publish it."
Sophia smiled. "Thanks, Uncle Empath...I knew that you would understand," she said, giving him a hug before he walked off and left her alone.
At the point where Sophia continued her writing, Anonymous brought Hefty and his guards into the throne room for a severe reprimand. "You bunch of incompetent smurf-for-nothings!" he shouted. "I have given you three days to smurf me back those rebels! Now where are they? WHERE?!?"
Hefty felt a lump in his throat as he didn't know how to answer his king. "Well, uh...you see...we don't have enough Smurfs to smurf the job. The forest is rather big and..."
"Enough! Dismissed!" Anonymous commanded.
After the guards left, Smurfette came in to talk to the king. "Oh, your Majesty, what smurfs to be the trouble with you today?" she asked, sounding concerned.
"It's the guards, Smurfette," Anonymous replied. "I have smurfed them three days to find the rebels and they have smurfed up with nothing. And the thing is, Hefty is right...I need to smurf a massive expedition to smurf out into the forest to find them. The question is, how do I get the other Smurfs to cooperate?"
"I think the ones who want to smurf out into the forest to find the rebels deserve to smurf a medal, don't you agree?" Smurfette said, trying to act persuasive.
"Smurf a medal," Anonymous said as he thought over the matter in his own mind. "I don't see how it could hurt to smurf the morale of those who wish to smurf loyal to me if I smurf them a token of my personal esteem."
"Maybe once we capture the rebels, we could smurf something personal together, just you and me alone in this beautiful castle," Smurfette said.
Anonymous liked the idea of Smurfette being his personal consort even more. "I'll let you know once we achieve our goal, Smurfette. For now, though, I have a decree to write and smurf in place as soon as possible."
"I'll be waiting for you, your Highness," Smurfette said as she watched Anonymous head to his private chambers.
Soon with the decree written, Harmony made it publicly known to all the Smurfs in the village. "This is a public notice to all the Smurfs: disruptive elements have to come to smurf disorder in the village. Therefore the Most High Lord Smurf the First has decided to smurf on a punitive expedition into the forest in order to smurf out where the rebels may be smurfing. Those who wish to smurf this expedition may smurf many benefits, such as: double rations of sarsaparilla, rest days, citations from the Lord Smurf the First,..."
The Smurfs who gathered around to hear the decree reacted with total disinterest and started to walk away.
Harmony continued. "...and also they will be decorated with a special gold medal of the Order Of The Most High Lord Smurf The First with a red ribbon."
The mention of the medal caught every Smurf's attention. Quickly they all gathered together at the door of the meeting house, which has been turned into a recruitment bureau for those who wish to be part of the expedition. Soon, Anonymous could see that there was a great turnout of Smurfs as they bore the medal that would signify that they were now loyal to him and that they would do whatever he would say.
With the great expedition at his disposal, Anonymous proudly led the Smurfs out into the forest to find the rebels.
Unknown to Lord Smurf the First or anyone else in the village, Smurfette had already sent word to the rebels by having a bird carry the message of the king's proclamation to them in their secret base. Duncan assigned a few Smurfs to be on the lookout for the expedition should it make its way into the forest sometime soon.
Zipper served as one of the lookouts who, on the day that Anonymous led the expedition out into the forest, spotted them and listened carefully to what the king had to say. "You're all going to smurf the entire forest until you smurf the rebel camp. You will smurf out in single file, twenty smurfs apart from each other. The first one who smurfs a sign of the rebels or the camp will smurf like an owl. Any questions?" After a moment of silence where no Smurf among the group said anything, the king continued, "Good, then let's get smurfing!"
"Ay carumba! I've got to warn the others!" Zipper said, as he quickly raced down the tree that he was doing his lookout duty from and headed straight back for the camp without anybody noticing him.
As the Smurfs in the expedition started to spread out from each other, Culinary was busy talking to one of his fellow Smurfs about a recipe. "...and then you smurf it for ten minutes in moderate heart after you smurf on some smurfed hazelnuts."
"Mmm, sounds smurfy," his fellow Smurf said, licking his lips.
"Quiet," Hefty commanded. And then he found Lazy resting in a secluded spot. "That's how you're going to smurf for the camp?"
"Hey, why not?" Lazy said. "It's much better than actually smurfing."
"Oh no, you don't," Hefty said, flipping Lazy up on his feet and poking him in the behind with his halberd. "You're going to smurf it like everyone else, or you'll smurf a permanent rest!"
Soon Anonymous heard what he thought was the signal, which meant that one of the Smurfs in his group had found the rebel base. He quickly ran to where the signal was coming from, only to find that it was two Smurfs alone with each other, with one Smurf just testing out what the sound of an owl was supposed to be like.
"No, no, no, Crazy Smurf, that's not how an owl sounds," his fellow Smurf said. "An owl's cry is more muted and deeper. Listen..."
"Smurf your voices down, you idiots!" Anonymous shouted. "You're only supposed to smurf like an owl when you smurf the camp!"
Then came what appeared to be the sound of an owl again. Anonymous ran straight for where he heard the sound was coming from, with the two Smurfs following. "No, that doesn't sound like an owl either," one of the two Smurfs said. "It's too muted and too deep."
They soon came to the sound's origin point, but Anonymous was furious to find that it was only the sound of one of his Smurfs who got his foot pounded on by the mallet of another Smurf. This was starting to drive him crazy.
Then came what appeared to be the sound of an owl for the third time. Anonymous and four of his Smurfs chased after that sound, with one Smurf commenting, "Now that is truly the sound of an owl. Can anyone notice the difference?"
Anonymous arrived at the sound's origin and looked around, but couldn't see a Smurf or even the rebel base anywhere. Then he heard the sound coming from above, so he looked and saw that it was actually an owl hooting. This made Anonymous so upset that he just stamped his feet in frustration and cried.
"Well, I have to admit that it was a smurfy imitation," one of the Smurfs said as they heard the owl hooting.
"Lord Smurf the First...look!" another Smurf said as he directed their attention to a sign he just spotted, which read THE REBEL CAMP IS NOT THAT WAY and pointed in a specific direction.
"Ah-ha!" Anonymous said, sounding like his search is now finally getting somewhere. "It's an old stupid trick, that they're trying to keep us from smurfing their camp. Quick, Smurfs, follow me!"
The king and his Smurfs followed in the direction the sign was pointing in. They soon came across another sign that pointed them in a new direction, saying SMURF BACK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
"We must be smurfing on the right path, I can feel it," Anonymous said as they headed off in the new direction.
Soon another sign appeared that pointed in yet another direction, saying NO, YOU'RE GOING DOWN THE WRONG SMURF.
Anonymous ignored the warning and headed in the direction the sign was pointing in. "How naive," he sneered. "The rebels must think we're complete idiots."
Then came another sign, which read WARNING! WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LOOK UP!
Anonymous ignored the warning of that sign and looked up, as did the Smurfs following him. "Oh, and why not?" he asked.
Soon he and his group of Smurfs ran off a ledge and fell straight into a pond, where they saw another sign posted, reading WE WARNED YOU! HA HA HA!
"Oooh, those rebel Smurfs," Anonymous growled as he cursed them under his breath.
Meanwhile, one of the Smurfs in the expedition was navigating through a thicket of dense trees in order to find the rebel camp until finally he saw it straight ahead. He headed back to warn three of his fellow Smurfs about it, and they headed straight in the direction of the camp.
One of the rebel Smurfs who was on lookout duty noticed the four Smurfs from the expedition coming. "Alert! Lord Smurf the Worst's Smurfs are smurfing this way!" he called out.
The Smurfs at the camp armed themselves with wooden sticks, ready to deal with the intruders, when suddenly they noticed that those Smurfs had stripped off their medals upon approaching.
"Hey! We're smurfing on your side!" one of the Smurfs said.
"Vive le resistance!" another of the Smurfs said.
The Smurfs armed with sticks dropped their sticks and greeted their new compatriots with hugs.
Sometime later, the expedition rejoined together to give an update on what had happened. They noticed that one of the Smurf guards had apparently fallen for one of rebels' tricks, namely Jokey's surprises.
"Nothing, your Royal Smurfiness," Tracker reported. "We smurfed high and low, and yet we smurfed no sign of the camp."
"Then we need to smurf our tactics," Anonymous said. "Smurf out and smurf a rebel, then capture him. With any luck, he will smurf us where the rebel camp is."
As the expedition split up again, Hefty muttered to himself, "Hmmm...capture a rebel...easier smurfed than done. There's got to be a way that I can smurf a rebel out of hiding."
Then he heard two Smurfs from the expedition talking to each other. "How can you smurf which Smurf is a rebel?" one of the two Smurfs asked.
"It's simple...they don't smurf medals," the other Smurf replied.
"Hey...now that smurfs me an idea," Hefty said. He decided to strip himself of his medal and hide that and his halberd behind a bush. Then he took a bluebell and powdered its dust upon his arms to hide the tattoo marks. Seeing that there was no trace of the tattoos that would indicate that he was Hefty Smurf, he just walked out and whistled the Smurf song, pretending that he was a rebel. "The first rebel that I smurf across, I'll just smurf him good," he thought to himself.
But then suddenly, three Smurfs from the expedition jumped out at him from the bushes they were hiding in. "We smurfed you now!" they said as they grabbed him.
"Hey, what are you smurfs doing?" Hefty said as he struggled to break free of the Smurfs that captured him. "Unsmurf me, you idiots. I'm the captain of the guard."
"Hefty Smurf is the captain of the guard," one of the three Smurfs said.
"I am Hefty Smurf, you clods," Hefty replied very angrily.
"Oh yeah? Then prove it!" a second Smurf challenged.
Hefty clobbered all three of the Smurfs, though in the process, his tattoos were revealed. He stormed away, looking very upset at the stupid mistake his fellow Smurfs made.
"I guess he must be Hefty Smurf after all," a third Smurf in the group muttered very weakly.
Meanwhile, Culinary decided that the best way to capture a rebel is through his stomach. He set a pot of sarsaparilla to boil on an open flame in the hopes that it would attract some hungry Smurf among the rebels. Once he got his trap set in place, Culinary decided to attract their attention.
"Ja, this pot of sarsaparilla is very good...mmm mmm," he said in a very loud voice as he went to hide himself in the bushes. "I'm going to smurf more wood for the fire."
He waited behind the bushes and listened carefully for any response. He soon heard the sounds of some Smurfs that were eating from his pot, realizing that they had taken the bait. But when Culinary came out of hiding, he was upset that it was only three of the Smurfs from the expedition that were doing the eating.
"My trap!" he shouted very angrily. "What are you Smurfs doing? That was meant for the rebels!' Stop that right now!"
Anonymous waited standing on a tree stump, hoping to receive word from his expedition group that they have been successful. "So, have you smurfed a rebel yet?" he asked a small group of Smurfs that were heading back toward him.
"Alas, no, Your Smurfulness," one of the Smurfs replied.
"Well, what are you smurfing around for?" Anonymous shouted. "Smurf some traps to smurf the rebels with!"
"That's a smurfy idea," another Smurf said. And immediately he went to work digging a hole in the ground with a shovel. He then covered up the hole with some grasses for camoflague. "There, the smurf is done," he said, pleased with his efforts. "Now all I need to smurf is to smurf behind some bushes and..."
But as he went to hide himself, he didn't see where he was going and ended up falling into a hole that another Smurf had made for a trap.
"My trap! What the smurf are you smurfing in my trap?" a Smurf hiding behind the bushes asked. He then came out of hiding and cried out, "Lord Smurf the First! Your Majesty! Some Smurf has smurfed off my trap!"
But then that Smurf ended up falling into a hole dug by yet another Smurf. "My trap!" that other Smurf shouted.
"What in smurf's name is going on? What's all this smurf?" Anonymous said to himself as he heard a Smurf shouting out his name. He ran in the direction of where he heard the shouting, but then he fell into a hole that another Smurf dug.
And so there were Smurfs in the expedition who fell into each other's traps, all dug by other Smurfs hoping to catch the rebels in them. All of the Smurfs caught in the traps were upset with the ones who dug them in the first place.
"Why don't you smurf where you're smurfing?"
"Oh, smurf it!"
"Okay, who's the son of a smurf who just smurfed a trap over here?"
"I've had it! I've just about had it!"
Anonymous was furious. "To prison! Smurf all the trap-smurfers to prison!"
By nightfall, after Anonymous had gotten himself out of the trap, he realized that a lot of time had passed and yet the expedition was now proving itself to be fruitless. "Smurf all our Smurfs together," he told Harmony. "We're resmurfing to the village."
Soon with the sound of the drum, the expedition had gathered itself together. Anonymous counted up all the heads of the Smurfs who were part of the expedition and noticed something was different. "What? Where's everybody?" he asked. "I could have smurfed that we smurfed off with more Smurfs."
"Uh...we're missing a dozen, your Grace," Hefty replied. "They may have been smurfed as prisoners by the rebels, or..."
"Or maybe they have smurfed their ranks," Anonymous said, swearing profanities at the very thought of that happening. "Oooh, let's smurf back home."
And so, smaller in number, the Smurfs that were part of the expedition have made their inglorious retreat. Meanwhile, the Smurfs at the rebel camp laughed as they saw from on high the Smurfs retreating, realizing that they have failed to find them.
"You think they'll be back out here to try finding us again, Dunk?" Tuffy asked.
"Who knows if they will?" Duncan answered. "Meanwhile, I can only hope more Smurfs would be wise to smurf against Lord Smurf the First before he smurfs something even more terrible as king."
"Poor Smurfette," Poet said. "I wouldn't want to be in her smurfs trying to pretend that she even likes the king while she's smurfing our side."
"Mon frere, I don't want to know what the two of them might be smurfing together behind closed smurfs," Painter said.
"She's a resourceful lassie, Painter," Duncan said. "If she knows how to keep the king from smurfing his way with her while trying to smurf out news of what he's smurfing, she'll have the king smurfing out of her hands."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 06:17 AM
Part 6
Brainy went across the portal between the Smurf Village and the Smurfette Island Village to have a talk with Tapper, who was now going under the name of Pastor Nevin. He found his fellow Smurf alone in his chapel, kneeling down in private prayer before the altar.
"Oh, Brainy, I sense in my spirit that you needed to smurf to me about something," Tapper said as he got up from his knees when he heard Brainy enter the chapel.
"Pastor Nevin, I don't get how you're always able to smurf anything with your spirit from all the years we've known each other," Brainy said.
"That's just how I have been since the Almighty has guided me these past years since we were Smurflings, my fellow Brainy," Tapper said. "It smurfs a lot of emptying of myself so that the Almighty can smurf more room inside me for whatever He wants me to smurf for Him. It hasn't been an entirely pleasant experience, but I do not regret where it has now smurfed me. Now tell me what is it that is on your mind that you need my help for."
"Pastor Nevin, I'm worried about my daughter Sophia," Brainy said. "She hasn't smurfed anything naughty in her life that she needs to repent of that I know, but she's now smurfing a fictional account of things that happened back in the days when there was a King Smurf, all because she doesn't believe my story that I was the one who was smurfing that role."
"I see," Tapper said. "I don't blame your dear Sophia if she doesn't believe that what you smurf about your life is the truth, but you have to let her smurf up her own mind about what she believes of you. You can't make her believe the truth, just as much as I can't make the other Smurfs believe the truth about the Almighty."
"But can't your Almighty smurf something about it?" Brainy asked. "I mean, He's supposed to smurf anything, since your holy book smurfs that nothing is impossible for Him."
"That's very true indeed, Brainy," Tapper replied. "However, unless your daughter is trying to actively deceive the other Smurfs into thinking that her fictional version of what really happened is the actual truth, I don't see what harm her story writing is going to smurf. Maybe she needs to smurf this story the way she believes it happened just so she can smurf to terms with that part of the past she doesn't know about."
"I only wish that you and Duncan were there in the village at the time it actually happened, Pastor Nevin," Brainy said. "Who knows, maybe things wouldn't have gotten as carried away as they did when Papa Smurf had gone to smurf some more wrinkleroot."
"I do regret not being there during the time you were King Smurf, my fellow Brainy," Tapper said. "However, I have felt that it was from the Almighty that your reign did not smurf more than a day, for if Papa Smurf had not returned from his journey to the mountains, the village would have been in much more danger than from anything you could have smurfed as king."
"Then I guess there's nothing you can smurf for me," Brainy said with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry that I have wasted your time smurfing things that have nothing to do with your Almighty."
"I will continue to pray for your daughter's well-being and that she will come to know the Almighty in a more personal way, Brainy," Tapper said, putting his hand on Brainy's shoulder. "There's nothing in what you've smurfed to me that was ever a waste of time, for the Almighty cares even about the least little things, and so do I."
As Sophia's story continued, it was now night in the Smurf Village, and only Anonymous' bedchamber in his castle remains lit. He was joined by Smurfette, who was invited to sleep in his castle for the night, though she was given a separate private bed since the two of them were not yet married.
"A dozen Smurfs are now missing, Smurfette, and there may be more," Anonymous said as he paced back and forth while she listened. "If I don't smurf a stop to the Smurfs who want to smurf themselves from under my control, I may find myself without a village to smurf over."
"Oh, your Majesty, why let yourself worry about such matters?" Smurfette said. "You're the king...you should smurf stronger measures to keep the Smurfs you want loyal to you from smurfing out of the village."
"Keep them from smurfing out of the village," Anonymous said as he pondered Smurfette's words. Then a thought dawned on him. "Why, you're absosmurfly right! I will have to smurf up a new decree at once."
Smurfette watched as Anonymous went to his desk and wrote up a new decree right on the spot. She was eager to know what exactly he was now planning so that she could warn the rebels at the first opportunity.
"Tell me, Smurfette, how would you like to smurf with me in my castle for the rest of my reign as king?" Anonymous asked after he was finished.
"I don't know, your Highness," Smurfette said. "I mean, I really like you and all, but I'm just not ready to smurf my life with a single Smurf yet."
"I could convince you that being queen with me is much more desirable than being a lowly commoner married to one of your fellow Smurfs," Anonymous said.
"I can actually become queen?" Smurfette said, sounding like she was captivated by the thought.
"I can let you smurf anything you want as queen, Smurfette, even up to half the kingdom," Anonymous said. "Just imagine...you'll have Smurfs smurfing at your beck and call whenever you want, and you'll smurf the best of everything."
"Oh, your Worship, I just don't know what to say," Smurfette said. "It's just too much for me to smurf right now."
"I'll let you smurf some time to think about it," Anonymous said. "For now, though, it is enough that I let you smurf your time with me in the castle if that's how you wish to smurf me. I can trust that you won't smurf anything that would undermine my role as king now, can I?"
"Oh, yes, your Grace, I will be very faithful to you," Smurfette said with as much sincerity as she could feign at the moment.
By morning, Harmony had summoned the Smurfs in the village around him to proclaim the king's latest decree. "This is a public notice. To defend the population against the rebels, the Most High Lord Smurf the First has decreed that a protective barrier must be smurfed around the village. All volunteers for this duty must smurf with shovels and pickaxes at the village square. As a reward, all volunteers will be smurfed another gold medal."
The Smurfs reacted with such disinterest that they walked away. "We already have one," one of the Smurfs said.
"However," Harmony continued, "our Worship has decreed that any who refuse to volunteer will be smurfed into prison, effective immediately."
That caught the attention of the Smurfs as they stopped right in their tracks.
Meanwhile, in prison, Brainy was now pacing around back and forth, wondering where the rebels could be and why they were so slow in coming to his rescue. He was surprised that even Clumsy, his closest friend, wasn't doing anything to free him from his imprisonment, whichever side Clumsy had chosen to join.
Soon the building of the high fence around the village as well as a moat was underway. Hefty oversaw the work in progress as the Smurfs brought timber from the woods to cut into sections that would be used for the sections of the high fence, including the lookout tower for the sentinels.
Tapper, who was secretly working as part of the underground to smuggle Smurfs out of the village while posing as a loyal servant of the king, helped with the building of the high fence. "I don't get it, my fellow Sneaky," he said. "Is this wall supposed to smurf the rebels out, or to smurf us all in?"
"Don't worry, Tapper," Sneaky said, showing a small hatch that was built into the high fence. "I have smurfed a few precautions. Lord Smurf the Worst won't know a thing about who's smurfing out of here."
"I don't feel comfortable about calling the king 'Lord Smurf the Worst', but I do agree that the title is appropriate," Tapper said. "Anyway, I do think that your 'precaution' is a smurfy idea."
Suddenly a note attached to a rock was hurled over the high fence, bonking Sneaky in the head as it landed on the other side. "Hey, who's the idiot who likes to smurf us with rocks?" Sneaky said with anger as he felt the bump forming on his head.
Tapper took a brief look at who the message attached to the rock was addressed to. "It's a message for Lord Smurf the First. We must smurf this to him at once."
Inside his castle, Anonymous heard a Smurf calling out, "Your Excellency! There's a message for you!" And then immediately afterward, the message with the rock was hurled in through the window, bonking Anonymous in the head as it landed.
Anonymous took the message and read it aloud. "Lord Smurf the Worst, if you don't abdicate the throne by tomorrow at dawn, we will smurf an attack and you will see smurf. Signed, the Rebels." He crushed the message in his hands as he reacted in anger to the threat that was being posed upon him. "Me, abdicate? NEVER!"
Smurfette watched as Anonymous stormed away from the window, heading somewhere else. "Is everything all right, your Majesty?" she asked. "What's the matter?"
"The rebels want war, Smurfette...and that's what we're going to smurf them," he shouted back, not looking at her.
Throughout the night, the Smurfs in the village were busy preparing themselves for war. Anonymous had replaced his royal clothes and crown with something more appropriate for the situation, a gold-colored hat that was shaped like a warrior's helmet. He set up Smurfs to man the walls before dawn, ready to repel the invaders at the first sight of attack, armed with tomatoes and every kind of edible they could use as a weapon. Hardly any Smurf was allowed to sleep, as the situation was so urgent that they needed to stay alert. Tapper provided the troops with as much acorn brew as they could handle, but he feared that they could end up too exhausted by the time any action would start.
Anonymous looked at the sword he was wielding, ready to use it if he had to. "They want to call me Lord Smurf the Worst...they will see Lord Smurf the Terrible," Anonymous said with a wicked smile.
"Your Majesty, we tried to keep Smurfette in your castle for her own safety, but she insists on smurfing you," one of the guards said, as he and another guard had escorted Smurfette outside.
"Smurfette, I thought I had smurfed you to stay where you would be safe," Anonymous said as he was alone with Smurfette.
"Oh, I just couldn't think of smurfing anywhere that wasn't near you, your Highness," Smurfette said. "I just want to see you smurf the rebels from smurfing our village that we would someday smurf over."
"They won't smurf anywhere inside the village, as long as my loyal servants will keep us safe," Anonymous said. "I promise when this is over, you will be smurfing as queen of the village."
"You're so strong and brave and handsome in your warrior's clothes," Smurfette said as she gave Anonymous a kiss before she was escorted away by the guards. "I'll be waiting for you when the war is over."
Anonymous smiled at the thought of Smurfette wanting to be queen by his side. In all his life, he never thought he would able to have Smurfette want to have anything to do with him besides be his friend. Now the thought of being able to have Smurfette for himself would make him the envy of all his fellow Smurfs.
Meanwhile, in his prison cell, Brainy was lying on a patch of hay with a blanket for his cover, too upset to get any sleep. "This is humiliating," he thought to himself. "I become one of the greatest heroes of Smurf history, and none of my compatriots even have the smurf to smurf me free."
The hours passed, as the Smurfs on the wall continued to watch for any signs of activity. Then Lazy saw the sky and said, "Dawn's coming," as he yawned, ready to fall asleep.
Tracker also noticed something. "So are the rebels. ALERT!!!"
All the Smurfs at the wall, and even Anonymous himself, watched as the rebels approached, armed with clubs, flails, ladders, and every sort of weapon they could create. Anonymous was surprised by the sheer numbers that were approaching. He thought that building the high fence would be enough to deter Smurfs from joining the ranks of the rebels, but somehow their numbers continued to increase. It appeared as though half of the entire Smurf population was now on the rebels' side.
The rebels stopped at the edge of the forest as one of them calmly approached the gates, carrying a white flag on a pole, signaling a peaceful surrender. "So will you abdicate?" that Smurf asked Anonymous.
"NEVER!" Anonymous shouted back.
The Smurf sighed. "All right," he said as he returned to the gathered group.
Duncan assembled his Smurfs together for a speech of encouragement. "All right, laddies, listen up. My name is Duncan McSmurf of the Clan McSmurf. And I see a whole army of my fellow Smurfs here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free Smurfs, and free Smurfs you are. What will you smurf without that freedom? Will you fight?"
"Fight against that?" one of his Smurfs asked. "You've got to be kidding! We will run, and we will live."
"Aye. Fight, and you may be smurfed. Run, and you'll live...at least awhile," Duncan said emphatically. "And smurfing in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance...just one chance...to smurf back here and smurf our enemies, that they may smurf our lives, but they'll never smurf our FREEDOM?"
All the Smurfs in that group shouted "AYE!" as they raised their fists in the air, ready for battle.
At the same time, Anonymous assembled his Smurfs together for a speech of encouragement. "Fellow Smurfs, the time has come for us to smurf against our Smurf brothers, and smurf against them we shall. We cannot let this insubordination against my rulership and dominion smurf any longer. You are stronger than they are, and you are braver than they are. And you have the Lord Smurf the First smurfing right alongside you, so do not lose heart, my brothers...WE WILL SMURF VICTORIOUS!"
His speech ended when he felt a tomato hit him in the back of the head, which was thrown by the rebels.
"CHARGE!" Duncan yelled, as the rebels headed straight for the gates, ready to attack.
"I hate charge," Grouchy said.
"Get ready," Anonymous signaled. "On my mark...OPEN SMURF!"
The Smurfs at the wall threw their weapons straight towards the advancing rebels. The other Smurfs were slowed down when they were hit with ripe tomatoes and smurfberries and anything else that was thrown at them.
"Mmm...fresh ripe tomatoes," Nabby said as his face was hit with one. "Hey, I love tomatoes. Smurf me some more."
"I hate smurfberries...unless they are fresh," Grouchy said as he was hit by a volley of smurfberries.
"Be brave, laddies," Duncan cried out. "Don't let anything smurf you! Smurfland gu bràth!"
Brainy in his prison cell heard the commotion going on outside and looked through his cell window to see what was happening. "Yes! It's the rebels!" he shouted excitedly. "They've come to smurf me free, the hero!" Then suddenly he was hit in the face with a tomato.
"Smurfs up," Hefty shouted. "The rebels are using a ladder to smurf over the wall."
Grouchy, Dimwitty, and Tuffy climbed as quickly as they could up the ladder to scale the wall. But the Smurfs on the wall poured a thick pasty liquid onto the ladder that slowed their advance.
"What the smurf...it's glue!" Dimwitty said as he found his hands and feet were now stuck to the ladder.
"I hate glue," Grouchy said.
"No...no...NO!" Tuffy shouted as Vanity used a crook to tip the ladder over.
"Yes, yes, yes," Vanity said, before the ladder completely tipped over, causing the three Smurfs to land on their back.
"Well, don't just smurf there!" Tuffy shouted to the Smurfs just standing around looking at the three of them stuck on the ladder. "Smurf something!"
"I'd hate to smurf myself in the same sticky situation that you're in right now," Jokey said, laughing at his own joke while he and some other Smurfs helped to pull the three Smurfs free from the ladder.
Anonymous watched from a lookout tower as the rebel forces began to retreat. "Finally...victory is ours!" he shouted with his arms raised up, before a tomato was thrown in his face.
Duncan called the rebels together. "We'll never be able to smurf over the wall with ladders, laddies. We must smurf another way to smurf through."
Immediately there was a brainstorm of possible solutions. "We could smurf a battering smurf."
"Or smurf a great big fire."
"I propose that we can smurf a great big hole with a great big crank."
"Or maybe we can smurf a tunnel."
"How about smurfing them a present?"
"I'll try smurfing a grappling smurf."
Then Acrobat Smurf called their attention to something he and a few other Smurfs had set up. "Hey, Smurfs, I think I may have smurfed the way in," he said, as he showed them a pivoted platform that he was going to use as a catapult, with one Smurf standing on a high stool ready to jump down on the other end. "Smurf at this. I smurf on this end, and that Smurf will smurf onto the other end, and with the gravitational force that he smurfs, because as you all know, with every action there must smurf an equal and opposite reaction, it will smurf me high into the air and straight over the wall into Lord Smurf's camp. It smurfs complicated, but it's really easy." Acrobat then stood on the platform and called out to the other Smurf, "Ready...set...smurf!"
The other Smurf jumped down onto the other side of the platform, and Acrobat was catapulted high into the air, but instead of going over the fence, he ended up landing right on top of the other Smurf. The only thing he got for his troubles was applause from the Smurfs who were watching this.
Then another Smurf voice cried out, "Hey, look! The grappling smurf has smurfed onto the wall! Smurf quickly!"
Duncan, Tuffy, and a few other Smurfs quickly grabbed the line that the grappling hook was attached to and pulled with all their might. Soon a few logs were dislodged from the wall, leaving a gap wide enough for the Smurfs to enter. The rebels quickly charged into the village with their weapons on hand.
Anonymous was upset that his defenses were now breached. "Quick! Smurf up the gap! Smurf up the reserves! Don't let them..."
He was hit by another tomato as he and the Smurfs inside the village charged straight toward the rebels as they entered. Soon the entire village was filled with violence as the rebels and the Smurfs loyal to their king fought with each other from one end of the village to the other. Only Grouchy didn't get involved in any of the fighting. "I hate violence," he muttered to himself.
Smurfette was waiting inside the castle when Tapper quickly entered and grabbed her by the hand. "Smurfette, quickly, you must smurf with me."
"Tapper, what's wrong?" Smurfette asked. "I hear that the rebels have smurfed the village."
"I feel in my spirit that your life is in danger, and you must leave the castle immediately for your smurf," Tapper said, as the two of them quickly departed.
One of the Smurfs stopped fighting and saw Papa Smurf's laboratory nearby when he suddenly had an idea. He broke down the door with a bench and then quickly searched through the laboratory until he found what he was looking for: a big jar of nitroglycerin. "It's just what I need," he said to himself, after attaching a cork with a cord to the jar. "It's time to smurf Lord Smurf the Worst a lesson."
Brainy was in his prison cell, seeing Tapper run off with Smurfette and wondering why neither of them thought of rescuing him, when he noticed another Smurf approaching, this time with an explosive. "Yes! Any moment now, I will be free!" he said to himself in joyful anticipation. "This will be a day to remember. The door will open, and I will smurf in triumph as Lord Smurf the First will be smurfed in chains, to smurf at my feet smurfing for clemency...and I will forgive him, because I am merciful, and smurfy things will come to those who are merciful, because..."
Soon the village was rocked with an explosion. The fighting stopped long enough for Anonymous to see what had just happened. "My palace! Those...those vandals! They have desmurfed my beautiful palace," he cried out in despair. He also noticed that most of the Smurfs that were loyal to him were now on the rebels' side, including Smurfette, who was with Tapper. "All is lost. The only thing I have left are my faithful guards." Sweating profusely in fear of what may soon be his defeat, he decided that the only thing left to do was to make a final stand. "Smurf the final four, my Smurfs!" he commanded.
The guards made a square surrounding Anonymous to protect him from the crowd of Smurfs that were now surrounding him. "Surrender or smurf, Lord Smurf the Worst," Tuffy challenged.
"SMURF!" Anonymous shouted defiantly.
"Okay, laddie, you asked for it," Duncan said, realizing that his fellow Smurf wasn't going to surrender. "Charge!"
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 06:25 AM
Part 7
"So there you are, Sophia," a familiar voice spoke, interrupting her thoughts. "I was smurfing all over the village for you because your friends are concerned for you, including myself."
Sophia looked and saw that it was Psycheliana. "You needn't worry about me, Liana," Sophia said. "I was here the entire time smurfing my master work without any distractions from any Smurf. And no, you can't smurf a look at it until I'm finished."
"I wasn't going to ask if I could smurf a look at your work, Sophia," Psycheliana said. "It's just that your friends believe that it's your right to believe whatever you want about your Papa Smurf's history, even if they don't fully agree with what you believe. It's not their place to judge Uncle Brainy for whatever actions they were not alive to witness for themselves."
"But my Papa Smurf was a terrible Smurf back then," Sophia said. "I can't smurf with that being what made him the Smurf he is today."
"Sophia, all our parents smurfed terrible things when they were our age," Psycheliana said. "The thing is, they learned from their mistakes and became better Smurfs for it. My Mama Smurf wanted to destroy the village back when she was just a creation of Gargamel, but Grandpa Smurf saw that she came to care about her fellow Smurfs to ever want to destroy them and so changed her into a real Smurf so that Gargamel couldn't control her anymore."
"I really want my Papa Smurf to be a hero so much, even in our history," Sophia said.
"I'm sure that there were times that your Papa Smurf was a hero, and that his fellow Smurfs would want to remember him for the heroic deeds that he smurfed than for the awful things he smurfed," Psycheliana said. "Deep down inside, I sense that Uncle Brainy really cares for his fellow Smurfs, and that he would smurf his life on the line to make sure that they would be safe from anything that would harm them, including you."
Sophia sighed, feeling a bit relieved to be talking about her problems to her friend. "I'm near the end of smurfing my story, anyway, so I guess that it couldn't hurt if I smurfed you how it's going to end."
"You go ahead and finish your story by yourself, Sophia," Psycheliana said. "I'm sure that I can wait until it's time for you to publish it. But just remember that your Papa Smurf is still a hero, no matter what anyone, even history, smurfs about him."
"Okay, as long as you won't be disappointed when you finally smurf a copy of my book," Sophia said, watching as Psycheliana walked off before she continued with her writing.
At the point where she left off, the rebel Smurfs had Anonymous and his guards completely surrounded. Tuffy called for Anonymous' surrender, but Anonymous refused, and so Duncan had his group of Smurfs charge straight toward him and his guards when a loud voice commanded, "STOP!"
They turned to see who it was that said that, and it was Papa Smurf, just arriving in the village after his long journey to the mountains. "What's smurfing on here?" he demanded.
"Oh, Papa Smurf...it's such an unexpected surprise," Handy said, sounding embarrassed.
"So, did you finally smurf the wrinkleroot?" Duncan asked.
"Wrinkleroot, schminkleroot! Who cares about that?" Papa Smurf yelled. "All I want to know is what has happened around here!"
Hefty dropped his halberd as he approached Papa Smurf to give an explanation. "Well, uh, we can explain this, Papa Smurf," he began. "You see, when you left, there was no leader to smurf us, and so we smurfed an election to who would be the best leader, and we..."
As the Smurfs took turns to explain the whole matter, Brainy dug himself out of the rubble that was Lord Smurf the First's castle and started singing exuberantly. "Free! I am finally free! Oh, from every mountain side, let freedom smurf..."
"Shhh, Papa Smurf has returned, Brainy," Clumsy said as he saw Brainy joining the others.
"What? Papa Smurf is here?" Brainy said, sounding surprised.
"...and by the time you smurfed up, we had Lord Smurf the Worst on the smurfs, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said in conclusion. "And that's the whole smurf in a nutsmurf."
"You Smurfs should be ashamed of yourselves," Papa Smurf scolded. "You were all acting like human beings." He then turned to Anonymous. "And you...look at what your unsmurfy behavior has caused. The village is a complete wreck."
Anonymous looked really ashamed as he saw everything in the village was in disarray: the smashed windows, the wrecked doors, tables and benches overturned, marks of fresh fruit splattered on walls. It was if a tornado had come and wreaked havoc everywhere. "Where are you smurfing?" Papa Smurf said as he noticed Anonymous going inside his house, and then coming back out carrying a mop and a bucket.
"I'm going to smurf up and repair the damage that I have smurfed," Anonymous said, sounding regretful.
The other Smurfs watched as Anonymous passed by them and realized that they themselves were also responsible for the mess. "Hey, wait up, laddie," Duncan said. "We're going to smurf you a hand."
"After all, it's our fault, too," Handy said.
"And Papa Smurf always says you should smurf unto others as you would have smurfed unto you," Brainy said.
"I'll smurf the pickaxe and shovels," Tuffy said.
"Uh, yeah, I'll smurf you a hand as well," Clumsy said.
"We still like you, Anonymous, even if you're the worst king," Smurfette said.
"Really?" Anonymous said as he looked at his fellow Smurfs gathering around him, with tears in his eyes. "I just don't know what to smurf to that."
"Well, maybe sometime we can smurf something together, just you and me alone," Smurfette said, giving Anonymous a kiss.
"Well done, my little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said, his tone changing from anger to delight. "I see that despite what has smurfened around here, you still remain good and brave little Smurfs, and so I forgive you all."
"HURRAY!" all the Smurfs shouted together.
Tapper stood with Papa Smurf as they watched the Smurfs gathering together to help clean up the mess they have made. "Well, Papa Smurf, it smurfs like things will soon return back to normal with you home as the true leader of the village," Tapper said.
"They are still young Smurfs at heart, and they still have a lot to learn, Tapper, as I'm sure you have lessons to learn yourself," Papa Smurf said.
"Perhaps we will be wiser next time we need to smurf a leader whenever you're gone, Papa Smurf," Tapper said.
Meanwhile, Jokey decided to offer his fellow Smurfs something. "I've got a little present that I wish to smurf someone now that Papa Smurf is home," he said.
"Uh, not me, Jokey!" Clumsy said as he and few other Smurfs started running away.
"What about you, Greedy Smurf?" Jokey said. "Would you like a little present?"
"Uh, no thanks, Jokey," Greedy said as he ran away. "I've got a kitchen to smurf up."
"How about you?" Jokey asked as he turned toward Vanity.
"NO! Smurf that dreadful thing away from me!" Vanity said as he also ran away.
Jokey saw that none of the Smurfs wanted to receive his present, so he instead decided to present it to Papa Smurf. "Say, would you like to smurf a little present now that you're home?" Jokey asked.
"A present for me?" Papa Smurf said, sounding curious. A few nearby Smurfs closed their eyes and plugged their ears as they expected it to explode when Papa Smurf opened the box. But to their surprise, it didn't.
"Oh, thank you, Jokey...it's very smurfy," Papa Smurf said as he held up what was in the box. "It's a baba au smurf, my favorite cake."
Some Smurfs dug through the rubble of Lord Smurf the First's castle and found his cape and crown lying on the ground. They brought it to Papa Smurf and asked, "So now what do we smurf with this?"
Papa Smurf took a look at the items and said, "I think that we can smurf them to good use."
Later on, Lord Smurf the First's royal clothes were put out in Farmer's fields, stuffed with hay and dressed up as a scarecrow.
Some days later, Sophia's story "The Once And Smurfy King" was finally published. Her friends were given a copy that they could read at their own leisure, which made it worth all the trouble of waiting. Many of the Smurfs found it interesting, if although a bit fantastical, and had nothing but positive things to say about her story. Even her uncle Narrator found it rather entertaining as a fictional story, given the number of stories that he had been a part of.
Anonymous came to Sophia after he had finished reading her story. "So how do you like it?" Sophia asked.
"I just find it amusing that you choose me to be the Smurf who becomes Lord Smurf the First instead of Brainy, because I can't imagine that anyone would actually vote for me to be the village leader," Anonymous said.
"Honestly, I didn't know which Smurf I would choose to be Lord Smurf the First," Sophia said, sounding like she was feeling a bit guilty about doing so. "It just wouldn't sound right if I simply called the character Smurf, so..."
"I feel flattered to be in your book nonetheless, Sophia," Anonymous said.
Empath and Smurfette were discussing with each other about the book when Empath noticed Smurfette laughing. "This smurf senses that something in the book amuses you, Smurfette," Empath said. "And that something has to do with the fact that in the story you were pretending to be close to Anonymous when he becomes king."
"I have to admit, for a Smurf who's just so ordinary, I'm surprised to find myself attracted to him once he smurfs power as king," Smurfette said.
"This smurf can understand that, Smurfette," Empath said. "Being a powerful person does have the perk of attracting people to you, whether you want that kind of attraction or not. This smurf was for a time wondering if that was all that really attracted you to this smurf in the first place, but this smurf now knows you were looking for something more besides just that."
"I really wouldn't mind being queen beside him, Empath, if that was how this story really happened," Smurfette said.
"So besides Don Smurfo and King Solomon, this smurf now has another literary rival to compete with for your heart," Empath said.
"Really, Empath, they can never smurf the place of you, because you're the only story that I want to smurf happily ever after with," Smurfette said as she held Empath close to her.
"This smurf is pleased to hear that, Smurfette," Empath said as they both kissed.
Meanwhile, Tapper and Duncan were both talking among themselves about the book. "I've got to smurf it to Brainy's little lassie, she really knows how to smurf us into her little fantasy setting, Nevin," Duncan said.
"I'm surprised with how she managed to include us into the story, even though we were never originally part of it, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said.
"Your part in the story was how I would imagine you to be, laddie, but my part smurfs like a character from one of Actor Smurf's motion pictures," Duncan said. "Can you believe the kind of speech I would make to get the rebel Smurfs to all fight together against Lord Smurf the First?"
"I have a feeling that someone else in another time will be smurfing the same thing, but who really knows?" Tapper said.
"He'd better be a real Smurfsman if he's going to be smurfing that," Duncan said.
Meanwhile, Brainy and Clumsy were talking among themselves about Sophia's book. "Do you honestly believe that we could smurf an election to see who among us would be the better Smurf to lead the village while Papa Smurf was gone, Clumsy, when the obvious choice was yours truly?"
"Uh, not really, Brainy," Clumsy said. "But if there was, I still would have voted for you."
"But how would you be so sure that I'm the Smurf that you would vote for?" Brainy asked.
"I...just have that feeling about you, Brainy," Clumsy said. "I know that you would still be the leader."
"Well, at least you're willing to admit that I'm not entirely bad when it smurfs to leading the village in Papa Smurf's absence, even if I wasn't very good at smurfing the king," Brainy said.
"If you ask me, Brainy, I would have voted for Anonymous if that was actually the case," Hefty said as he overheard the conversation.
"Yeah, me too," Handy said.
"I hate voting for Brainy," Grouchy said.
"I'm sure that would be a smurfy thing for us to speculate on, my fellow Smurfs," Brainy said, "but you know how history smurfs, and we can't smurf anything about the past except to learn from our mistakes, because today always becomes tomorrow's history, and what we smurf today will smurf an impact on..."
At that, Brainy found himself flung to the village limits.
"So much for teaching my fellow Smurfs a history lesson," Brainy groaned after he landed.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 06:50 AM
In case any of you feel angry over who got elected as President today (November 9, 2016), just remember this:
Do not put your trust in princes, nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help. His spirit departs, he returns to the earth; in that very day his thoughts perish. Blessed is he who has the Mighty God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in Jehovah his God, who made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them; who keeps truth forever, who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry. Jehovah lets loose the prisoners. Jehovah opens the eyes of the blind; Jehovah raises those who are bowed down; Jehovah loves the righteous. Jehovah watches over the sojourners; He relieves the fatherless and widow; but the way of the wicked He turns upside down. Jehovah shall reign forever; Your God, O Zion, from generation to generation. Praise YAH! (Psalm 146:3-10)
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 11-09-2016 12:05 PM
Preach VicGeorge! Preach! ![[Wild Smurf]](graemlins/Wild_Smurf.gif)
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 11-11-2016 05:42 AM
Some notes of this adaptation:
* The story title is based on that of The Once And Future King, an Arthurian fantasy novel by T.H. White.
* The proverb that Brainy quotes to Lord Smurf the First, "the smurf populi is the smurf Dei," is based on "vox populi, vox Dei", meaning "the voice of the people is the voice of God".
* It is one of two stories where Duncan McSmurf actually shaves off his sideburns and posed as a regular Smurf. The other story where he does this is "Dreamy's Birthday Wish", although in that case it was to pose as a regular Swoof.
* Duncan McSmurf's cry of "Smurfland gu bràth" is based on "Alba gu bràth" (which means "Scotland forever"), used by Mel Gibson's portrayal of William Wallace in the film Braveheart. His speech of encouragement to the rebel Smurfs also comes from that movie.
* Empath mentions what happened with Greedy Smurf in "The Master Smurf".
* Empath mentions King Solomon from "The Smurf Of Solomon" as one of his literary rivals competing for Smurfette's heart.
* Anonymous as Lord Smurf the First telling Smurfette that she could have anything "up to half [his] kingdom" is based on similar promises made in Scripture by various kings to females, including King Ahasuerus and King Herod Antipas.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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