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Author
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Topic: Empath Mini-Stories
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 06:45 PM
"Getting Physical"
This one mostly has just Hefty and Smurfette in it.
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One afternoon Smurfette was in Hefty's gym with Baby Smurf doing exercises to a tune of a song playing on a record player. Smurfette was dressed in an aerobic workout suit and had a pair of small lightweight dumbbells in each hand that she was doing arm lifts and curls with, while Baby Smurf was doing the same with a pair of baby-sized dumbbells. The two of them were enjoying themselves when Hefty entered the gym, looking like he needed a break from his work.
"Oh, hi there, Smurfette," Hefty said when he noticed Smurfette with Baby Smurf. "I didn't think I would ever see you smurfing in here."
"Just wanted to smurf some exercises while I was watching Baby Smurf," Smurfette said. "I hope you don't mind, Hefty."
"My gym is your gym, Smurfette...you're free to use it anytime," Hefty said. "In fact, I might as well join you for some exercising myself."
"Really?" Smurfette asked as she saw Hefty go into another room to change his clothes. "I wouldn't mind having a partner to exercise with. After all, we're both good friends."
"Well, get ready for a real workout, Smurfette," Hefty announced from the other room. "You may be smurfing for breath by the time we're through."
"We'll see about that, Hefty," Smurfette said.
Soon Hefty emerged wearing a tank top, shorts, and a pair of shoes. He switched the music to a tune with a faster beat and soon both he and Smurfette were picking up the pace as they went through the routines together.
"You know what, Hefty?" Smurfette said in the middle of their workout. "Back when Woody and Laconia got married, I imagined what it would be like to marry you out of all the Smurfs in the village."
"I imagine being married to you all the time, Smurfette," Hefty said.
"Well, the thing about what I imagined it to smurf like was that all you wanted to do once you smurfed me to your home was have me smurf exercises with you," Smurfette said, laughing.
"You sure have an interesting imagination, I can smurf you that," Hefty said.
"I just never imagined smurfing up an interest in smurfing exercises back then, Hefty," Smurfette said. "Now it's like I want to smurf myself in the best shape possible."
"There's nothing wrong with that, Smurfette," Hefty said.
Suddenly Smurfette fell over and landed right on top of Hefty, who also fell over right on his back. "Oops, sorry, Hefty," Smurfette said, giggling.
"That's no problem, Smurfette," Hefty said, smiling. "Just smurf your time."
Smurfette carefully got herself off Hefty. "Now that was a real workout. I'm glad that you were here to help me smurf up a sweat."
"I'm just curious what has smurfed on your interest in wanting to do exercises all of a sudden, Smurfette," Hefty said as he picked himself off from the floor.
"I just wanted to smurf myself into shape, Hefty, like you're always suggesting that I should smurf," Smurfette said.
"You're not doing this because of Empath?" Hefty asked.
"Why would you think he's the reason I want to smurf myself into shape?" Smurfette asked.
"Only because I see you smurfing yourself out trying to be the Smurfette that he would want to marry," Hefty answered.
"Okay, maybe he is part of the reason," Smurfette said. "It's just that, back when Laconia and Woody were getting married, I was expecting to find the perfect Smurf to marry from among you and I ended up smurfing to the realization that I myself am not perfect. I don't want to be the kind of Smurfette that any of you Smurfs might regret marrying, especially Empath."
"And you think all this changing yourself is going to make you the perfect Smurfette for any Smurf to marry?" Hefty said.
"I thought you'd be happy that I'm smurfing up the idea of smurfing exercises, Hefty," Smurfette said.
"I am happy, Smurfette," Hefty said. "I just feel that the best thing you can smurf is to just be yourself. I don't think that you really need to change yourself for any Smurf."
"I just don't feel happy smurfing my old self anymore, Hefty," Smurfette said, sounding sad.
"If you feel changing yourself is going to make you happy, then do it," Hefty said. "But don't forget that there are those who love you just the way you are."
Smurfette sighed. "Thanks, Hefty. I'll try to remember that." She then reached down to pick up Baby Smurf. "Anyway, it was fun smurfing exercises with you. Maybe we can smurf this again some other time."
"Yeah, sure, anytime," Hefty said as he watched Smurfette leave the gym. He then grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat from his brow before he turned off the record player.
Just then, Duncan and Tuffy entered the gym. "Hey, what was Smurfette smurfing in the gym with you, Hefty?" Tuffy asked.
"We were just smurfing exercises together, that's all," Hefty answered.
"Smurfing exercises?" Tuffy said with some disbelief in his voice. "I get the feeling you were smurfing more than that to smurf all hot and sweaty in here."
"Empath may not like what you're implying with that statement, laddie," Duncan said.
"Look, I don't have to explain all my actions to you, Gutsy," Hefty said. "It was just me and Smurfette with Baby Smurf smurfing exercises together. There was nothing else smurfing on in here. You got that?"
"You don't have to smurf that tone with me, Hefty," Duncan said. "If what you're telling is the truth, then I will believe you and leave it at that."
"Hmmm, I wonder if Smurfette would go jogging with us if she's so interested in smurfing herself into shape?" Tuffy said.
"One smurf at a time, laddie, one smurf at a time," Duncan said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 06:52 PM
"Heart On A Sleeve"
This is about the origin of Hefty's tattoos.
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It is during one of Empath's visits to the Smurf Village that Empath decided to ask a personal question of his fellow Smurf Hefty.
"Fellow Hefty, where did you get that heart-shaped mark that appears on your right arm?" Empath asked.
"Well, since you're asking, let me ask you...where did you smurf your star-shaped mark on your foresmurf?" Hefty asked.
"This smurf assumes that this smurf was born with that particular mark, Hefty," Empath answered.
"That's just how I smurfed mine, Empath, but I don't smurf of it as a smurfmark," Hefty said. "What makes you ask such a smurfy question about it, anyway?"
"It's just simple curiosity that compels this smurf to ask the question, Hefty, and nothing more," Empath said. "This smurf senses that there may be something more to this mark on your arm than just identifying who you are among your fellow Smurfs."
"Maybe it's just to show how much I love being a strong Smurf, Empath," Hefty said.
"This smurf senses that you do take great pride in your strength, Hefty," Empath said. "And this smurf senses that you love to apply your strength in helping your fellow Smurfs."
"What's wrong with that?" Hefty asked. "If anyone's going to show how much I care for you Smurfs, even a Smurf like you, I might as well show it by smurfing a mark like this on my arm...not that something like this really matters to an outsider like you."
"Apparently we're not the only ones who bear such marks upon our persons, Hefty," Empath said as he watched Swimmer approaching them.
"Swimmer Smurf? I haven't smurfed him with those fish marks before," Hefty said.
"Excuse this smurf, fellow Swimmer, but this smurf and Hefty couldn't help noticing the marks that have appeared on your arms," Empath called out to get Swimmer's attention.
"What, these?" Swimmer said, as he came over to show his marks. "Oh, I just smurfed them from Painter Smurf. He has this indelible paint that he smurfed out on my arms when I asked him if he could smurf a mark on me like you and Hefty."
"You look pretty silly with those fish marks, Swimmer," Hefty said.
"No more silly than you, Hefty," Swimmer said. "Anyway, you should think about smurfing another mark on your other arm if you want other Smurfs to know who you really are."
"An artificial birth mark?" Empath said. "This smurf isn't sure that it's a good idea."
"Well, it's not your body you have to worry about, Empath," Hefty said. "If I want to smurf another mark on myself, it's my business to smurf one, and I'll deal with what happens if I do smurf one."
"Then this smurf will not stand in the way of your personal desire, Hefty," Empath said. "If you're willing to accept the risks and consequences, then you must make the decision for yourself."
"It's not like I need your permission anyway, Empath," Hefty said. He walked off so he could go ask Painter to do a favor for him.
"You want to me to smurf you a heart tattoo that matches the mark on your right arm, M'sieu Hefty?" Painter asked, repeating the very thing Hefty was asking for. "You do know that once I smurf the mark on you, you'll never be able to remove it even if you change your mind about it."
"Of course I know that, Painter," Hefty said. "Just get it smurfed already."
"Ah, très bien," Painter said, sighing as he went to get his palette with the indelible paints. Hefty sat himself on a rock while Painter carefully applied the paint in the shape of a heart on Hefty's left arm.
"Aaah, that paint really stings, Painter," Hefty said.
"Mais bien sûr, M'sieu Hefty," Painter said. "This is a special indelible paint. It's going to hurt when it's smurfed on the skin."
"Thanks for smurfing me about it," Hefty said.
"Hold still, I'm almost finished with the mark," Painter said encouragingly.
And soon with a few more paintstrokes, he said, "Voila! It is finished!"
Hefty looked at the mark that was painted on his left arm in the reflection of the mirror Painter had held up. "Wow! It smurfs just like the one on my right arm. Now nobody will ever know the difference between the two."
"Oh, I am so very pleased that you like my work, M'sieu Hefty," Painter said, smiling. "Now you're truly smurfing your heart on your sleeves."
Hefty flexed his left arm and looked at how the heart mark flexed with the muscle. "Still feels like I've been smurfed with a hot iron, though."
"That will pass in time, Hefty," Painter said. "Before long, you won't even feel that it's there at all."
"Well, time to smurf this off to the other Smurfs," Hefty said, smiling. "Thanks for the work, Painter."
"Ah, mon plaisir," Painter said, watching Hefty walk off.
He joined Empath and Swimmer as they were still talking about marks. "Smurf this out, Swimmer," Hefty said, showing off the new mark that was painted on him.
"Hey, that's pretty awesome, Hefty," Swimmer said. "I bet that will make you smurf doubly strong."
"This smurf doubts that an application of an artificial mark upon Hefty's person will ever give him the benefit of an increase of strength, Swimmer," Empath said.
"You can smurf what you want, Empath," Hefty said. "I'm still going to show the village what I can smurf with my strength anyway."
Empath sighed. "This smurf understands, Hefty."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 06:57 PM
"Grouchy Without Emotions"
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It was on a day during Empath's first visit that Grouchy asked Empath a question that was on his mind.
"What is it like to not be able to feel any emotions?" he asked.
"This smurf isn't certain how to describe such a feeling, Grouchy," Empath said.
"Well, you smurf all day not expressing anything," Grouchy said. "You must know what it must be like to not do that."
"Why is it that you want to know what it's like to not feel any emotion, Grouchy?" Empath asked.
"It's just that I don't feel happy expressing anything, Empath," Grouchy said. "The only thing I can ever express is hate."
"The fact that this smurf does not express an emotion does not in itself mean that this smurf does not have any emotions, Grouchy," Empath said. "Psyches are usually trained to control their emotions to the point where they are able to not express them at all."
"So you actually feel emotions?" Grouchy asked.
"The most that this smurf actually feels is curiosity, Grouchy," Empath said. "The Psyche Master only enables Psyches to have that emotion in order to inspire them to learn, but apart from that, they cannot express any emotion."
"This is just confusing me, Empath," Grouchy said. "I want to be able to not feel anything so I wouldn't have to express anything."
"Would not being able to feel or express any emotion make you a better Smurf, Grouchy?" Empath asked. "If you were truly without emotion, you would not feel any sort of contentment being in that state."
"I just have to know what it's like, Empath," Grouchy said. "I hate not being able to find out what it's like."
Empath sighed. "This smurf will temporarily disable your ability to feel any emotion so you can experience it for yourself, Grouchy." He then touched Grouchy's forehead and focused his minds-eye to cause his friend to not feel any emotion. Soon the grouchy expression on Grouchy's face turned to a blank facial expression. "So how do you feel now, Grouchy?"
"I do not feel anything, Empath," Grouchy said in a very flat, calm tone. "It's like I don't even care about anything, even about the things that I hate." He then looked around and tried to touch objects that were close to him. "I can't even feel the very things that I'm smurfing. Why is everything like this?"
"Every sense of your feeling anything has been shut off, Grouchy," Empath explained.
"How does anyone live like this?" Grouchy asked, still curious about the state he is now in.
"This smurf doubts that anyone truly can," Empath said. "This smurf will now restore everything that you are able to feel." And again he touched Grouchy's forehead and focused his minds-eye, and soon Grouchy's grouchy demeanor returned.
"Aaaah," Grouchy growled. "That was terrible! I hate not being able to feel anything! I hate not being able to feel any emotions! And I hate knowing what that is even like!"
"This smurf apologizes, Grouchy," Empath said. "This smurf was only assisting in satisfying your curiosity."
"If that's how the Psyches live, Empath, I don't want any part of it," Grouchy said. "I hate the fact that you're even smurfed as a Psyche."
"Does that mean you would hate this smurf as well?" Empath asked.
"NO!" Grouchy said. "You're a Smurf, and you should have been smurfed as one. You should know what it's like to feel like a Smurf. I know what it's like in smurfs, and sometimes I don't even like it that much."
"It is rather odd that you hate expressing yourself in any manner except for what you hate, and yet you would not give up being a Smurf just so you could feel anything," Empath said.
"It's just how I am, Empath," Grouchy said. "Every Smurf in the village knows that I don't like expressing myself much. But I don't always like how I feel."
"This smurf would be willing to know what it's like to feel everything, Grouchy, even if it's laughter, which this smurf senses that you hate," Empath said.
"Well, you certainly have some time before you resmurf back to Psychelia to find out, Empath," Grouchy said.
"Maybe we can learn from each other about our feelings, Grouchy," Empath said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 07:02 PM
"The Opening Of Tapper's Tavern"
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It was on a day during Empath's fourth visit to the Smurf Village, when he and his fellow Smurfs were around 100 years of age, that Papa Smurf had gathered the village together for an official announcement.
"My dear little Smurfs," he said, "I know you have been waiting patiently for this day just as much as I have, and so it smurfs me great pleasure to reopen the Smurfrock Tavern with Tapper Smurf as its official proprietor."
All the Smurfs cheered as Tapper approached the door of the tavern and unveiled its new sign. It now read Tapper's Tavern instead of the Smurfrock Tavern.
"Thank you, Papa Smurf, and thank you all, my dear fellow Smurfs, that you would be eager for the day that I will smurf over the business and let you enjoy yourselves as grown adult Smurfs should be allowed to. You are all welcome to celebrate this occasion with a mug of fresh sarsaparilla ale, compliments of the house."
"HURRAY! LONG LIVE TAPPER!" the Smurfs shouted together as they followed him into the tavern, where he began filling up the mugs with the frothy brown liquid they enjoyed so much.
"Whoa! This sarsaparilla ale's got a real kick to it!" Hefty said after he took his sip of it.
"That's because it ain't the ale you've been smurfing before now there, laddie," Duncan said. "This is the sarsaparilla ale of a real Smurfsman. It will knock the smurfs right out of you with just one glass."
"Now this is one powerful brew," Vanity commented.
"I hate powerful brews," Grouchy said before he took another sip. "But I still love sarsaparilla ale."
"Careful there, Grouchy, you don't want to be knocked on your smurf too soon," Duncan warned.
"This smurf does notice that the flavor has changed somewhat, Tapper," Empath said after taking a few sips. "It's like it's been fermented much longer than it used to be."
"Sarsaparilla ale is supposed to help you relax and feel good about yourself, my fellow Empath," Tapper said. "That's the potency you're now smurfing when you're drinking it. I couldn't smurf the brew like this because our growing bodies weren't able to handle it when we were so young."
"So this is how sarsaparilla ale is going to be from now on, Tapper?" Empath asked.
"Aye, for the most part, though there will still be a brew for those who aren't able to handle such potency, Empath," Tapper said. "Of course, that won't be the only thing that I will be smurfing at my tavern."
"You mean that there will be other kinds of drinks for the Smurfs to sample and enjoy while they're here?" Empath asked.
"I always believe in variety being the spice of life, Empath," Tapper answered. "My good friend Vino will be supplying the tavern with his wines, and I may be experimenting with the creation of new drinks that no Smurf has ever tasted before."
"This smurf will be anticipating to try them out, Tapper," Empath said. "In the meantime, is there other things to do in the tavern besides just sitting around and drinking ale?"
"Aye, Empath, that there is," Tapper said. "The Smurfs can come in here in the evenings to play games like chess and cards, and there's a dart board on the wall where you can smurf darts with another Smurf. You will certainly not be bored when you are in here, I can promise you that."
"You know, Handy might have some ideas for new games that he would appreciate introducing to his fellow Smurfs, and this smurf would think that this would be the place for introducing them," Empath said.
"By all means, Handy is welcome to smurf in whatever new games he invents, just as all my fellow Smurfs are welcome to," Tapper said.
"Honestly, Tapper, do you feel rather nervous about being in charge of a place where your job is to entertain your fellow Smurfs?" Empath asked.
"I'd be lying if I said that I don't feel a bit nervous about this whole thing at all, Empath," Tapper said. "Greedy probably has more years of experience smurfing a kitchen with a staff of four Smurfs than I have smurfing anything by myself. But I have faith that I won't be alone in running a tavern, for there will be some good-hearted Smurfs who will smurf a hand from time to time to lighten the smurf that I must carry."
"This smurf might be interested in learning how to operate the tavern while you're busy dealing with your customers or doing something else," Empath said.
"I would definitely welcome your help, Empath, though it may come at the expense of smurfing other important skills that Papa Smurf might want you to smurf," Tapper said. "I can't imagine that you would want to be stuck inside a place like this smurfing a job that would greatly limit your potential."
"This smurf wouldn't consider expanding this smurf's abilities in any area to be limiting, Tapper," Empath said. "It would be more of a benefit for this smurf to know what it means to be a Smurf."
"Well, if you want to be my first help smurfing drinks in the bar, Empath, I can give you a smurfing tray so you can deliver them to the customers," Tapper said.
"This smurf would be more than honored to help you," Empath said.
Just then Papa Smurf approached the counter. "So how do you feel now that you're in charge of smurfing this tavern, Tapper?" he asked.
"A wee bit nervous and a lot excited, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "I can't thank you enough that you would smurf such trust in me to operate this establishment. Though truth to tell, I was just smurfing my good friend Empath about the need for some help while I'm busy attending things."
"I'll see what I can smurf to find you the kind of Smurfs you need, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "I could imagine that one of the things you will need is a bouncer that will help you smurf control when things get really unsmurfy in here with your customers."
"Great Smurfiny Crickets, Papa Smurf, I should hope not," Tapper said.
"If having sarsaparilla ale this potent would loosen up a Smurf's sensibilities, Tapper, it would stand to reason that some Smurfs wouldn't be able to control themselves from drinking too much ale," Empath said.
"Empath is right, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "I wouldn't want to smurf any fights breaking out in your tavern when it's supposed to be a place where Smurfs can relax at the end of the day."
Tapper nodded, understanding. "Then I will need a strong Smurf like Hefty or my good friend Duncan to help me smurf control before things turn into a real circus in here."
"I'll help you find that Smurf, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "In the meantime, I will let Empath help you with whatever you would need in this tavern."
"Aye, thank you, Papa Smurf," Tapper said.
"Let's have a toast to the future of Tapper's Tavern," Empath suggested. "May it always be a place where every Smurf can enjoy themselves in."
"And may there always be fresh sarsaparilla ale for the customers," Tapper said.
"Here, here," Papa Smurf said smiling as he, Empath, and Tapper clinked their mugs together.
Soon they heard a Smurf in the tavern falling to the floor. "Great Ancestors," Empath exclaimed, as he and Tapper both saw who it was. "It's Hefty!"
They both rushed over to where Hefty had fallen, looking like he was really dizzy. "Empath...Tapper...what happened to me?" Hefty asked.
Empath briefly examined him with his minds-eye. "It's the sarsaparilla ale you have drank, Hefty," he answered. "The single glass you had of the beverage has made you inebriated to the point of losing all motor coordination."
"Great Smurfiny Crickets, my dear Empath," Tapper exclaimed. "Just one glass of my ale has smurfed this to him?"
"That is unfortunately the case, Tapper," Empath replied. "Let's help Hefty to one of the seats where we can help him recover."
"The room is smurfing around me, Empath," Hefty said in a slurred voice.
"Hold on, fellow Hefty, we're going to help you," Empath said as he and Tapper helped him to his feet and guided him to a seat at one of the tables.
"Look at Hefty!" Jokey said as he noticed him being carried by Empath and Tapper. "I guess that tough Smurf isn't tough enough to smurf his liquor!"
The other Smurfs laughed at Jokey's comment, but Empath, Tapper, and Papa Smurf didn't. They were very concerned about Hefty's state of being.
"Maybe there's something in my laboratory that I can smurf that will help Hefty resmurf his senses," Papa Smurf suggested.
"There won't be any need for that, Papa Smurf," Empath said as he touched Hefty's forehead and concentrated his mental energies toward healing his friend's inebriated condition. Soon Hefty started feeling alert again.
"Uhhhh, that was a really powerful brew of sarsaparilla ale you have smurfed up, Tapper," Hefty said. "I'm surprised the other Smurfs aren't smurfing to the floor like I have."
"Actually, Hefty, your physical makeup isn't able to tolerate more than just one glass of sarsaparilla ale with its alcoholic content," Empath said. "You would have to drink less of the ale to keep yourself from experiencing this condition again, or you'll have to order another drink without any alcohol."
"Great...I didn't have to think I would have to smurf myself away from sarsaparilla ale completely," Hefty said with some disgust.
"It will not have to smurf to that, Hefty," Tapper said smiling. "I would just have to smurf up a batch of the ale that you can safely drink without smurfing rather tipsy."
"Yeah, but smurf at Gutsy over there, smurfing three glasses and still looking like he can smurf me in a wrestling match," Hefty said sourly as he looked at Duncan drinking his ale.
"Aye, that is rather strange indeed, Hefty," Tapper said.
"This smurf senses that his physical makeup has a much stronger resistance to the effects of the sarsaparilla ale, Hefty," Empath said. "It would not be to your benefit if you were to challenge him in any kind of contest regarding the drinks that are served in this tavern."
"I would have to agree with Empath on this, Hefty," Tapper said.
"Just my luck that Gutsy would have to beat me in smurfing that," Hefty said. "I guess I'm going to have to stick to smurfing healthy drinks from now on."
"This smurf sensed that you always functioned better with the healthier drinks anyway, Hefty," Empath said. "Do you have any tomato juice in your store, Tapper?"
"I'll see what I can smurf for Hefty, Empath," Tapper said as he went back to the counter to look for tomato juice. He found a bottle of it and poured a glass for Hefty to drink before bringing it to his table. "Here, my fellow Hefty, have a smurf of this."
Hefty took a sip of the tomato juice. "Now this is what I call a drink!"
Papa Smurf smiled. "It looks like you're going to have to smurf up on tomato juice for Hefty, Tapper. I'll let Greedy know that this is what you'll be smurfing in your tavern."
"Aye, Papa Smurf," Tapper said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 07:11 PM
"Attack Of The Horror Film!"
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It was movie night in the Smurf Village. All the Smurfs gathered around the Smurf Theater to watch Actor Smurf's latest work, which was a horror film named Salad Smurfs. In the movie, the Smurfs were all slowly turning into vegetables from eating the overgrown vegetables that were in Farmer Smurf's garden. Earlier on in the story, Farmer was having problems with his crops producing terrible vegetables and was given potions by Papa Smurf to help overcome the problem. He was warned to only use a few drops of the potions in his watering can, but then Greedy forced him into using the maximum dosage when the village chef's livelihood was threatened by his fellow Smurfs. Most of the Smurfs in the audience were shocked to see themselves in the movie being turned into vegetables until there was only Farmer, Greedy, Smurfette, and Nabby left. And then they laughed and cheered in the end when Greedy and Farmer got turned into vegetables in the end while all the other Smurfs were restored to normal.
After the movie was over, the Smurfs all convened at Tapper's Tavern to talk about the movie before they went to bed.
"So what did you think of the movie, Papa Smurf?" Actor asked.
"Well, I have to admit, it was rather imaginative, amusing, and indeed scary at times," Papa Smurf said. "Overall, it was a very good movie."
"Personally, I think this movie is a total waste of your talents, Actor," Brainy said. "You should be smurfing on the sequel to your Smurf Wars movie, which was truly a masterpiece of romance and action compared to this ridiculous story about us smurfing into vegetables."
"Speak for yourself, Brainy," Hefty said. "I thought it was funny that you got smurfed into a pea and I was smurfing you with a hammer into the smurfhouse like a croquet ball."
"'Hey, look, Brainy is now smurfed into a pea, just like his brain!'" Jokey said, laughing.
"'I smurfed that, and now I'm going to tell Papa Pea...I mean, Papa Smurf on you,'" Vanity added, also laughing.
"Ha ha ha, that's real funny to smurf such a mockery of me in the movie," Brainy said, sounding rather displeased.
"Oh, come on, Brainy...everybody had their share of being smurfed fun of in the movie," Jokey said. "Poet got smurfed into a zucchini, and I was smurfing a surprise that smurfed a block of butter in his face, and then I got smurfed into a tomato, and Vanity got smurfed into a pickle, and Clumsy got smurfed into a potato, and so on and so on. The best part was definitely when Hefty got smurfed into a big purple eggplant."
"That part was just so stupid, Jokey," Hefty said, sounding displeased.
"I don't know, Hefty," Smurfette said. "I thought you looked smurfy as a big purple eggplant."
"It's so hard to keep track of what Smurf turned into what vegetable in the movie," Empath said. "This smurf was wondering what Tapper had turned into when he went through the transformation."
Tapper snorted. "I doubt that I will ever tell anyone, Empath."
"All that food in the movie was just making me so hungry," Greedy said.
"'Help! Greedy wants to eat me!'" Jokey shouted, with a few other Smurfs laughing afterward.
"Now that's a really creepy thought," Empath commented. "Since the Smurfs are mostly vegetarians, having a Smurf thinking about eating other Smurfs who have been turned into vegetables would almost be like cannibalism."
"I hate cannibalism," Grouchy said.
Smurfette shivered at the thought. "That would make me think twice about smurfing a salad, Empath," she said.
"Don't worry about it, Smurfette," Empath said. "It's just a harmless movie! This smurf can hardly think such a thing like that could ever happen in reality."
"Nevertheless, it does serve to smurf a very important lesson for us all, Empath," Papa Smurf said. "We should always be careful with our use of potions, because we'll never know what the consequences are for not smurfing heed to the warnings of using them."
"A very wise and important lesson indeed, Papa Smurf," Brainy said, agreeing. "Why, I was just smurfing with Empath the other day on the subject of the misuse of chemicals being smurfed for everyday things such as the food we smurf and..."
"On that subject, this smurf is wondering how Farmer's crops are doing with this dry spell we're having," Empath said.
"Farmer is smurfing the best he can with what little he has to smurf with as far as water, Empath," Papa Smurf said.
"This smurf hopes it won't have to come to needing anything that would make vegetables spring up really big," Empath said.
"This one does not see the point of this horror film, Empath, why Smurfs need to be scared of their own hubris and ignorance just for their entertainment," Polaris said.
"Actor did not intend for the movie to be really scary, Polaris," Empath said. "He just wanted to show a possible scenario of what may happen if such potions of Papa Smurf's would be misused, and hopefully have other Smurfs laugh at the ridiculousness of that kind of scenario."
"This one just does not find the movie to be amusing at all, Empath," Polaris said.
"It's unfortunate that you didn't, Polaris, but this smurf will respect your opinion nonetheless," Empath said.
"Wasn't there a witch that almost turned the Smurflings into pumpkins at one time?" Polaris asked.
"It was about a year before this smurf came home for good, Polaris," Empath said. "They were eating apples from a magic tree, and the witch caught them and they ran off and made it safely back to the village before she did them any harm. Fortunately, Farmer had a cart full of pumpkins that he allowed the Smurflings to use to put a scare into the witch, making her think that her spell actually worked."
"That was a rather risky thing that the Smurflings did, Empath," Polaris said.
"It almost got worse when Gargamel came into the picture and the witch thought he was the one playing the jack-o-lantern pranks on her," Empath said. "Then Gargamel spotted one of the Smurflings, and he and the witch thought they should call upon the spirit of Jack O'Lantern to hunt down the Smurflings. However, when they did, he explained that he would carry off into the night the one who has called upon his name, so he turned Gargamel into a living pumpkin and made sausage links grow out of the witch's nose."
"That was something I would have loved to smurf, Empath," Jokey said, laughing.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 07:21 PM
"Why Are You So Purple?"
-----
It started off as an ordinary day in the Smurf Village for Empath Smurf when he was touring the village, observing things going on while Papa Smurf was busy working on an experiment with Brainy in his laboratory. And then he visited Dabbler and Medic in the infirmary. "Just the Smurf we were expecting to see," Dabbler said as Empath entered.
"What's going on that would require this smurf's attention?" Empath asked, curious.
"It's Jokey, Empath," Dabbler said. "He's got this skin condition that's smurfing very hard to treat, and I was wondering if you would know what to smurf about it."
"Let this smurf see how serious this problem is with Jokey," Empath said.
Dabbler took Empath to an area in the infirmary where the curtain was drawn to give Jokey some privacy. There Empath saw that Jokey's blue skin looked like it was peeling off, and underneath he was all purple. Jokey also didn't look like he was feeling well.
"Hi, Empath," Jokey greeted. "Not exactly a smurfy sight, isn't it?"
"This smurf has seen worse," Empath said. "However, this smurf needs to know what happened to you that's making your skin peel to make you look purple underneath."
"You know what happened six years ago in the Smurf Village while you were away, Empath?" Jokey said. "Well, that was the time that we were smurfed with the Purple Smurf disease. Lazy was the first to contract it when he was smurfed by a purple fly out in the forest, and then he smurfed it to every Smurf from that point on, first by him smurfing Hefty in the tail, then by smurfing Clumsy in the tail, and so on and so on. We would have been completely smurfed by this disease if we had not found out that it was tuberose pollen that would smurf a Purple Smurf back to normal."
Empath touched Jokey and used his minds-eye to scan him. "This doesn't appear to be a relapse of that particular disease, Jokey. It's more like you've coated yourself in purple paint...and an indelible paint at that."
"Yeah, one of my jokes that backfired on me," Jokey groaned. "Sometime after the Purple Smurf disease, I decided to smurf some fun, so I smurfed into Handy's workshop and paint myself all purple and start acting like a Purple Smurf. Boy, every Smurf was smurfing like crazy, thinking I was going to smurf them purple again. Brainy was so scared he kept smurfing that we need to smurf the tuberose pollen, and after everyone got smurfed into their own houses, I just simply razzed them all, made them smurf like total idiots."
"This smurf can understand that you were simply playing a harmless prank on your fellow Smurfs, Jokey," Empath said. "So what went wrong with this one?"
"I went wrong with what I didn't smurf about the paint, Empath," Jokey said. "While I was smurfing back home laughing, thinking now it's time to smurf a good bath, Handy smurfed out of his workshop wondering who smurfed his purple paint, 'the indelible paint that never smurfs off'. That was when I smurfed out that the joke was on me and that I was going to smurf purple forever."
"So what happened after that, Jokey?" Empath asked.
"Handy smurfed out that it was me, and smurfed me over to Papa Smurf's, where I confessed the whole thing, and was asking him if he could smurf something that would resmurf the purple paint from me," Jokey said. "All he could smurf me was this blue cream that I would have to smurf on my skin so I could look as if I have smurfed back to my own skin color. But it's hard to keep smurfing on the cream all the time, so I used some blue paint to cover my skin, and now it's starting to peel."
"There isn't much that we can smurf for Jokey's skin, Empath," Medic said, shrugging.
"I don't like smurfing like this forever, Empath," Jokey said, sounding like he was going to weep. "Please help me smurf back to normal, if you can."
"This smurf will try to restore you, Jokey," Empath said. And then he touched Jokey again, and this time focused all his mental energies into healing Jokey. After a short while, Dabbler and Medic noticed that Jokey's purple skin was now its normal blue tint again.
"Wow, now that's amazing," Medic said, looking stunned.
Empath handed Jokey a mirror so he could look at himself. "Hey, not bad! I can smurf myself being blue once again! I don't know how I can ever thank you for smurfing that, Empath!"
"Just give yourself a bath and you should be fine, Jokey," Empath said, smiling.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 07:24 PM
"The Day After The Kiss"
NOTE: This mini-story takes place right after the kissing scene in the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf novel.
-----
Tapper and Duncan McSmurf were busy working on restoring the tavern when they noticed Empath approaching them. They both noticed that something about him was different besides the way that he dressed, now that he started wearing the star-patterned suit again with a blue shirt.
"Smurf o' the morning to you, my fellow Empath," Tapper greeted. "How was your night's sleep?"
"This smurf has never felt better, Tapper," Empath said, smiling.
"I'm afraid the tavern won't be in business for quite some time, but we'll have it back in smurf-shape form, I promise you," Tapper said.
"I don't think the laddie here is smurfing for a drink, Tapper," Duncan said.
"Aye, I should think not as well, Duncan," Tapper said. "It appears that our friend here has smurfed on a date with the fair maiden Smurfette."
"So how was it smurfing with the bonnie lass there, Empath?" Duncan asked.
Empath found it difficult to answer. "It was a wonderful experience, Duncan. This smurf took her flying all over the forest, then we visited the grave of this smurf's Mama Smurf to pay our respects, and then she...gave me a kiss."
"Not very surprising, but not unexpected either, Empath," Tapper said. "Smurfette loves every Smurf enough to at least smurf them a kiss."
"Something tells me it isn't her regular sort of kiss, Tapper," Duncan said.
"It wasn't a friendly kiss indeed, Duncan," Empath said. "It was more, uh..."
"Ohhh, that kind of kiss," Tapper said, understanding. "I never thought that Smurfette would ever smurf that kind of kiss to any Smurf. And to be honest, I am rather jealous that she would smurf you that kind of kiss. That to me smurfs me something that's going to happen to you and Smurfette."
"You think that she and Empath are going to smurf to the altar soon?" Duncan asked.
"Someday, yes, but not very soon, Duncan," Tapper answered. "Tell me, Empath, how do you feel now about Smurfette that she's smurfed you that kiss?"
"Well, this smurf feels as if this smurf wants to be near her, Tapper, that this smurf can't live this smurf's life without her," Empath answered.
"But are you certain that Smurfette feels the same about you?" Tapper asked.
"Honestly, this smurf can't sense everything that she feels, even about this smurf," Empath said. "It's like everything about her is a complete mystery that this smurf must solve."
"Then it smurfs to reason, Empath, that if you truly care for Smurfette, you would let her smurf the decision for herself and not try to push her into smurfing you as the one and only Smurf in her life," Tapper said.
"And what if she doesn't want to be with this smurf?" Empath asked.
"That's a risk you're going to have to smurf, Empath," Duncan said. "For now, though, you should try to be a friend to her and smurf what she wants."
"Very true indeed," Tapper said. "This must start as a friendship so you will know what Smurfette likes and dislikes. Where it smurfs from there is up to you and Smurfette, but you will know when the time is right when this friendship smurfs into a romance which will hopefully smurf you both into marriage."
"This smurf hopes it will come to that as well, Tapper," Empath said. "Tell me, has any other Smurf felt so strongly about Smurfette that they would want to marry her?"
"You should have been here on the first day of spring when Smurfette had first smurfed here, laddie," Duncan said. "There wasn't a single Smurf in the village who couldn't stop thinking about Smurfette all day. And truthfully, me and Tapper were smurfing among ourselves over which one's going to marry her."
Tapper giggled. "Ah, yes, I didn't think I would be feuding with my friend here over Smurfette. But I have surrendered to the fact that my first true love must always be with the Almighty."
"It's hard to surrender to the fact that Smurfette would never love one of us more than another now," Duncan said. "Hefty is still thinking that he would someday smurf Smurfette off her feet when every other Smurf has lost their interest in her and she in them."
"He would find it very difficult to smurf so now that Smurfette has taken a greater interest in Empath, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said. "Anyway, Empath, you should be glad that Smurfette has smurfed something special of herself that she has not given any other Smurf. I will continue to pray for you and for Smurfette, that if your being together is the will of the Almighty, then I will let him smurf the holy union of matrimony."
"This smurf appreciates your advice, Tapper and Duncan," Empath said.
"Now let's see about smurfing this tavern back into shape so we can celebrate this together, Empath, if you're willing to help," Duncan said.
Empath smiled. "This smurf would be more than willing to help, Duncan."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 07:28 PM
"The Fire, Heart, And Passion Of A Smurf"
-----
It was during Empath's first visit to the Smurf Village, sometime after his encounter with Hefty Smurf that Grouchy defended him from when Hefty was beating up on Empath, that he encountered the Smurf whom had introduced himself as Duncan McSmurf. "So how goes my brother Smurf after you have smurfed up against Hefty of all Smurfs?" Duncan asked.
"This smurf isn't without injuries, but otherwise this smurf is functioning normally, fellow Duncan," Empath responded.
"I wasn't asking how you were functioning, Empath," Duncan said. "I was asking how you were feeling. Surely smurfing up against Hefty and getting the smurfing of your life from him must make you feel something."
Empath thought about that for a moment. "If this smurf were to describe anything as a feeling, Duncan, it would be...hurt. And it's not just from the physical injuries this smurf has sustained from him. It's also from the behavior he constantly exhibits to his fellow Smurfs, as if he wishes to have the preeminence among them simply because he is the oldest among them and also the strongest among them."
"I know that feeling, Empath," Duncan said. "It makes me very angry that Hefty would smurf his strength like that, to bully around Smurfs who are weaker than him. Not many Smurfs around here are able to smurf up to him like you did, even for Grouchy who would never accept me as a friend no matter how many times I would try to smurf out to him. That's why Hefty needs Smurfs like you and me to smurf him in his place, to make him see that this isn't what Smurfs are supposed to do with their strength."
"This smurf notices that Hefty likes to call you Gutsy a lot, which this smurf senses you dislike being called," Empath said. "May this smurf ask why such a name offends you?"
"Simply because it isn't my name, Empath," Duncan said. "Hefty knows what my true name is and chooses not to use it because he has no respect for anything except for Papa Smurf. It is a constant reminder to him that he can't cower a Smurf like me with his attitude, that just because he's the oldest Smurf of our generation doesn't mean he can get away with being such a smurf to those younger than him. I'm just as strong as he is, and though I have smurfed him everything he knows about fighting, he still can't smurf the better of me when it comes to fighting. And for such I get the odious reward of being called Gutsy."
"This smurf senses that Hefty will not like either of us now, Duncan," Empath said. "It only makes this smurf wish that his visit to the Smurf Village would be for more than a year."
"You know, Empath, that you remind me of a Smurf who was in our village years ago that I remembered smurfing when I was a wee one in diapers," Duncan said. "He also had a smurfmark on his forehead like yours, and he smurfed such incredible strength that amazed the smurf out of Hefty and myself. As a matter of fact, I have a feeling that you may be that very same Smurf. But something about you is just very different from the Smurf that I remember from years ago, and also very wrong."
"This smurf is curious to wonder what you would find so 'different' and 'wrong' about this smurf compared to the Smurf you remembered seeing in your infant years, Duncan," Empath said.
"The way you carry yourself around here is just very wrong, Empath," Duncan said. "You may look like a Smurf, but you sound and act as if the very heart of a Smurf has been cut out of you, and all I'm seeing is just a shadow of a Smurf that I once knew."
"This smurf was raised as a Psyche, Duncan," Empath said. "It is natural for this smurf to behave like this smurf's fellow Psyches in Psychelia, for that is how the Psyche Master expects Psyches to conduct themselves."
"Ah, that explains it," Duncan said. "This Psyche Master of yours has jangled up your mind and made you believe that you're a Psyche. It makes me grieve for you, my brother, and for the Smurf that I once knew years ago that I may never smurf him again. He would surely weep for the Smurf who now smurfs in his place, bearing his face but lacking the fire, heart, and passion of a true Smurf."
"This smurf wishes there is some way to help you overcome this loss with the Smurf from your early years who is no longer with you, Duncan," Empath said.
"No, my brother, he isn't lost," Duncan said. "As long as you live, he still lives as part of you. Deep down inside of you is the true heart and spirit of a Smurf, and by the name and clan McSmurf, I'm going to help you become the Smurf you're supposed to be."
"But what if the Psyche Master doesn't want this smurf to become a true Smurf, Duncan?" Empath asked.
"You can't deny who and what you truly are, Empath," Duncan said. "If the heart and spirit of a Smurf rests in you, you will smurf everything you can to be what you are, regardless of what the Psyche Master wants to smurf with you. You will know for yourself that you truly don't belong among those Psyches that you call your brothers."
"This sounds like the whole journey to become a Smurf is really a battle," Empath said.
"It's your battle, Empath, and you can choose to smurf part in it or not smurf part in it," Duncan said. "I'm only hoping you would smurf the right decision for yourself, because this is your life that you're living in the form of a Smurf that I once knew. He would not want to see your life be smurfed in vain if he was still here."
"That is something worth this smurf's consideration, Duncan," Empath said. "If it means that much to honor the life of a Smurf you once knew that resembled this smurf, then this smurf will honor his memory to the best of this smurf's ability."
Duncan smiled. "I will be waiting for the day when I will welcome my friend home, my brother."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 07:38 PM
"Unsmurfy Talk"
This story is full of innuendo, just be warned!
-----
One night at Tapper's Tavern, the Smurfs were noticing Jokey and Sneaky talking about something in a rather nasty way.
"Do you ever see how big those things get?" Sneaky asked.
"I wonder if Smurfette likes them that big, Sneaky," Jokey said.
"Sometimes when somebody is even near Smurfette, they stand straight up," Sneaky said.
"Yeah, that's when you can tell that a Smurf is really happy," Jokey said.
"You think anyone can tell whether Clockwork smurfs that happy, Jokey?" Sneaky said.
"Who knows? Something always smurfs out of his," Jokey said.
"I think Greedy uses his to smurf the creamy fillings inside his morning muffins," Sneaky said.
"Uhhh...smurf out of here with that thought," Jokey said, sounding disgusted.
"It's true," Sneaky said. "I also heard that Clumsy got his smurfed inside Handy's wood smurfer."
"What was Clumsy doing smurfing near that thing?" Jokey asked.
"Who knows when it comes to Clumsy?" Sneaky answered. "It was really painful to smurf. The thing didn't even smurf right when they finally smurfed it out."
"And then Dimwitty had smurfed his on fire one time," Jokey said.
"That must have made him feel really hot," Sneaky said.
"Yeah, he sure had that burning sensation," Jokey said. "That would have been one smurfed sausage."
"He needs to stop smurfing in and out of the oven, Jokey," Sneaky said.
"Just to smurf a bun in there, no doubt," Jokey said.
"Of course, Zipper couldn't wait to smurf his thing," Sneaky said. "He'd be wanting it to smurf faster and faster."
"That's Zipper for you, always in a hurry to smurf anything," Jokey said.
"He should slow down so he could enjoy it more," Sneaky said.
"Great Smurfiny Crickets, what daft thing are you even talking about in such a way that has people thinking?" Tapper asked.
"It's a Smurf hat, Tapper," Jokey said, laughing.
"Yeah," Sneaky said. "What do you think we were talking about?"
Tapper returned to the counter where Empath was filling in while his friend waited on tables. "Do you hear how those two Smurfs are talking, my good Empath?" he said. "It's like they enjoy smurfing in perversity for no good reason at all."
"It's a constant game they play, Tapper," Empath said. "They like speaking in a suggestive manner about ordinary things just to have other Smurfs look at them."
"I'd rather not have them smurf this kind of talk in my tavern, Empath," Tapper said. "Just hearing them smurf in such a dishonorable manner about ordinary things makes me feel rather unclean."
"Truth to tell, Tapper, it's rather hard to keep a pure mind about anything related to Smurfette now that this smurf is living with her," Empath said.
"The temptation of the flesh is always present, Empath, whether there's a Smurfette around or not," Tapper said. "Her presence simply added to the temptations that we face on a daily basis, and not by anything that she has purposely smurfed other than choosing to be a real Smurf."
"But you don't think about what most Smurfs want to do with her besides just marrying her, Tapper...that part of 'smurfing under one's hat'," Empath noted.
"Ah, yes, the private moments that are best left smurfed with a married couple," Tapper said. "I am not completely without those feelings of desiring that intimacy, Empath, but all the same, I do not wish to spend my days smurfing on some fantasy that I feel is totally dishonorable to both Smurfette and to the Almighty."
"So how do you manage to keep your thoughts pure when it comes to being around Smurfette, Tapper?" Empath asked.
"A little verse from the Good Book is what I remind myself with, Empath," Tapper said. "It says, 'whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy; think on these things.' That and a lot of time smurfed alone in prayer is what helps me."
"That certainly sounds like good advice to this smurf, Tapper," Empath said. "Jokey and Sneaky can dabble in perversity all they want, but this smurf isn't going to follow down their path and join them."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 07:42 PM
"Hefty's Unsmurfy Smurfday Surprise"
-----
t is the day of Hefty and Handy's birthday, and Empath and Polaris were watching Greedy at work in his kitchen making two separate birthday cakes for the two Smurfs.
"This one is curious as to why you would make two separate cakes for both Hefty and Handy if they both share the same birthday, fellow Greedy," Polaris said.
"Well, they're both very particular about what flavor smurfday cake they want me to smurf for them, Polaris," Greedy answered. "You see, Hefty likes to smurf a chocolate cake and Handy likes to smurf a smurfberry cake, and it's real hard to try pleasing both of them with just one cake, so I end up smurfing two cakes for each of the Smurfs so that they get the smurfday cake that they like."
"However, there comes the problem of which flavor cake a Smurf wants to get a slice of...either Hefty's chocolate cake or Handy's smurfberry cake," Empath said.
"That's very true, Empath," Greedy said. "In the end, though, everybody always smurfs away happy, and I get to smurf the leftovers along with my brother Nabby. Of course, there's one time that me and Sculptor have smurfed a surprise for Hefty's smurfday cake that didn't turn out very smurfy."
"Just what is it that you and Sculptor did with that particular cake, Greedy?" Polaris asked.
"I have smurfed up this block of chocolate that Sculptor had smurfed into a sculpture of Hefty Smurf smurfing up a set of barbells," Greedy said. "It was a wonderful piece of work Sculptor had made because it captured Hefty's likeness smurfectly. We smurfed the finished sculpture on top of Hefty's smurfday cake and covered it up with a cloth so we could present it to him as a smurfday surprise."
"This smurf can only wonder what happened between then and when it was actually presented, Greedy," Empath said.
"Well, it was the time at the party when everybody was singing 'happy smurfday' to Hefty, and we presented the cake as a surprise for Hefty to uncover by smurfing the cord," Greedy said. "We had no idea how hot the sun was that day, so by the time Hefty smurfed the cord and everybody smurfed the cake, they were laughing because the chocolate sculpture had melted. Hefty's arms on that figure were now lowered, and it smurfed like he was getting tired out smurfing up the barbells."
"This one would assume that Hefty was not pleased when he saw the sculpture on his birthday cake," Polaris said.
"Oh, he was so angry, he was smurfing after me and Sculptor with a hammer, ready to smurf our heads in for this," Greedy said.
Empath laughed. "This smurf almost feels sorry for Hefty on that particular smurfday, to see himself not quite as strong as he imagines himself to be."
"Not as sorry as me and Sculptor felt for trying to smurf a sculpture of him made of chocolate," Greedy said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-24-2012 07:46 PM
"Hefty's Guilty Pleasure"
-----
It is Christmas Day in the second year of Empath being home for good from Psychelia. The Smurfs were enjoying waking up to find presents have been left for them under the Christmas tree. This was Polaris Psyche's first Christmas, so Empath gave him a gift that he thought his friend would appreciate.
"It's a woolen Smurf hat, with gloves and a scarf," Polaris mentioned as he looked inside the box at his gift.
"This smurf thought that you would like something that will keep you warm when you're doing your security walks through the village, Polaris," Empath said.
"At the very least, Empath, it is an interesting gift," Polaris said in his usual flat tone.
"Try it on, Polaris," Empath suggested. "Let this smurf see how you look in it."
"This one does not see the point in wearing clothes just to display them before others, Empath," Polaris said.
"It's just that people like seeing how others would look wearing new clothes, Polaris," Empath said. "It's basically a custom for both humans and Smurfs."
"If this is only for you to evaluate how this smurf looks wearing the hat, then this one will do it," Polaris said. He then pulled the hat out of the box and put it on.
"Here, let this smurf adjust the hat," Empath said, reaching out to shift the top part of the hat so that it flopped forward like a regular Smurf hat. "Now you look like your fellow Smurfs."
Empath gave Polaris a mirror to see himself in. "Hmmm...so it would seem," he duly noted as he saw his reflection with the woolen Smurf hat.
"This smurf senses that you're not very excited about wearing the hat, Polaris," Empath said.
"That is correct, Empath," Polaris said. "This one can see why you and your people would need to wear a hat, and for that this one has no problem with it. It's just that, with this one, the hat seems rather...excessive."
"This smurf doesn't think it looks excessive at all, Polaris," Empath said. "At least you're not wearing Showoff Smurf's style of clothes."
"Indeed not, Empath," Polaris said with some hint of distaste in his voice.
"You only have to wear this for the next few months while it's still winter, Polaris, or you can go without wearing it at all," Empath said. "You're not forced into doing either because this is after all your gift."
"But you have taken time to put this present together for this one, and it would seem fair for this one to honor the sentiment behind the present," Polaris said. "Very well, then...this one is certain to put this gift to good use during the winter season."
Empath smiled. "Don't worry. Nobody's going to make fun of you wearing the hat!"
The both of them joined the other Smurfs as they gathered in the dining hall for Greedy's Christmas banquet, with tables that were lined up with goodies for everyone to enjoy.
"So how's your first Christmas so far, Polaris?" Smurfette asked as she joined the both of them at the table.
"It was...rather interesting, fellow Smurfette," Polaris answered. "This one can see that it is a festive time of activities for celebrating the change of seasons, and yet everybody in the village seems to have control over their behaviors...apart from Jokey constantly playing his pranks on other Smurfs."
Smurfette giggled. "I don't think Jokey will ever stop smurfing pranks on anyone no matter what the season is, Polaris. I only hope that you don't fall for them like most Smurfs usually do."
"Here comes Biscotti with another plate of fruitcake," Empath noted. "That stuff just never seems to stay on the table for very long."
"This one wonders where all this fruitcake disappears to, if it isn't Greedy and Nabby who eats it like they eat everything else," Polaris said.
"Look! There he is!" Smurfette said, noticing Hefty going to the banquet table and getting as much fruitcake as he can to fill his plate.
"Oh, yeah...it's Hefty and that appetite of his for fruitcake," Empath said. "He always does that every year."
"It is remarkably strange for him to constantly eat fruitcake like this, given his particular normal eating habits, Empath," Polaris commented. "This one wonders about his attraction to that specific food item in question."
"Why don't you ask him yourself, Polaris?" Smurfette suggested. "I'm sure he won't mind if you did."
"It would not seem prudent for this one to ask Hefty such casual questions, since this one senses his animosity toward Psyches and telepaths in general," Polaris said.
"Hefty's usually a bit more gentle around this time of year, Polaris," Empath said. "This smurf doubts you'll get much anger out of him if you're inquiring about his current eating habits."
Polaris sighed. "Then this one will venture a visit to his table for a brief conversation." He went over to the table where Hefty was sitting at, enjoying his fruitcake.
"Well, if it isn't Empath's star-faced friend," Hefty greeted. "What do you want to smurf me for?"
"This one is only curious about your desire for your constant consumption of fruitcake, fellow Hefty," Polaris said.
"So you noticed," Hefty said. "It's a very hard habit for me to hide around this time of year."
"Why is it that you eat a lot of fruitcake when it isn't part of your normal diet, if you don't mind this one asking?" Polaris asked.
"Honestly I don't know why, Polaris," Hefty answered. "I'm usually very faithful when it smurfs to keep to my regular diet. I don't like smurfing a lot of sweet stuff and junk like my fellow Smurfs do. But come Christmas, when Greedy and Biscotti start baking up the fruitcake...it's like I haven't smurfed real food in ages. And the strange part about it is that I actually enjoy the taste. You should have been here the winter when I first smurfed fruitcake."
"So this has been a lifelong seasonal habit for you, Hefty," Polaris surmised. "It's amazing with the amount that you have ingested that you show no signs of it adding weight to your figure."
"I guess you can smurf it my guilty pleasure," Hefty said, smiling. "I smurf a lot of this stuff, and I still do my regular exercise and work routines so none of it makes me smurf out like Greedy when he smurfs his own cooking. You should try it sometime...you'll find it smurfier than your usual bland nutrient paste."
"This one only wishes that were possible, Hefty, but you do know my particular dietary requirements," Polaris said.
"Too bad for you, then," Hefty said. "I guess that just means more for me. It must be a drag for you to keep smurfing the same thing every day, which is why I'm glad I'm not a Psyche."
"Perhaps someday this one may be able to experience more than just what this one is restricted to, Hefty," Polaris said. "Anyway, this one appreciates your sharing this 'guilty pleasure' of yours to this one."
"You might not want to smurf that hat everywhere you go in the village, Polaris," Hefty commented. "I just don't think you smurf good wearing it."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-25-2012 01:47 PM
"Narrator's Christmas Story"
This is how he tells "A Christmas Carol".
-----
It was on the first season of Christmas following Empath's final return from Psychelia that Narrator had gathered the Smurfs together in Tapper's Tavern for one of his Christmas stories, which all the Smurfs were eager to listen to.
"It was in a village similar to ours, with Smurfs just like us, who were all preparing for Christmas Day with decorations and gifts and food and jolly times for all the Smurfs," Narrator began. "However, there was one Smurf who refused to smurf part in all this, and that Smurf's name was Grouchy."
"Me?" Grouchy wondered. "I hate being the Smurf who's part of the story."
"Nevertheless, you were the one your fellow Smurfs were most concerned about, in this other village," Narrator said. "They saw that you had not smurfed up any decorations around your house, and when you greeted them, you didn't want to smurf any part in singing Christmas carols."
"Uh-oh! Grouchy didn't smurf up any decorations around his house?" Jokey commented.
"It's just a story, Jokey," Grouchy said.
"Anyway, Papa Smurf and the Smurfs who were with him smurfing Christmas carols wondered what is wrong with Grouchy, and why he was prepared for smurfing off to sleep instead of smurfing into the Christmas spirit, and Grouchy simply said in his usual tone, 'I HATE CHRISTMAS!' And then he smurfed the door closed and smurfed a pile of snow on his roof to fall on Brainy."
Every Smurf except for Empath laughed at that. "Figures that Brainy would get dumped on sooner or later."
"I heard that, and I'm going to tell Papa Smurf about this," Brainy said.
Papa Smurf chuckled. "Please continue with your story, Narrator."
"This is the part where you smurf in, Papa Smurf," Narrator said. "You decided that you were going to help Grouchy smurf back into the Christmas spirit, so you smurfed up this potion in your laboratory, and from the potion a blue ball of light had smurfed out of the laboratory and smurfed around the village until it smurfed to Grouchy's house. He was playing with what appeared to be a toy hang glider as he was smurfing in front of his fireplace, smurfing eggnog and trying to keep warm. As it turned out, he was all out of eggnog, so the blue ball of light had smurfed into his mug, and Grouchy drank it instead. It made Grouchy suddenly feel all sleepy until he just simply smurfed out on the floor."
"Great Smurfiny Crickets, my dear Narrator," Tapper exclaimed. "Is Grouchy all right?"
"Grouchy was fine, but when he woke up, he saw that his house was all dark, and when he smurfed up a candle, he saw that everything in his house, even himself, was different," Narrator answered. "But then he heard a noise smurfing from his chimney, and down through the chimney came who he thought was Smurfette, but it smurfed out to be one of the Three Fates, the Smurf of Christmas Past. She was there to show Grouchy what happened to him that made him smurf the way he is around Christmas."
Grouchy slipped Empath a sort of private look and smile at the mention of Smurfette.
"Smurfette took Grouchy to about five years ago when he used to be so excited about Christmas like every other Smurf, who were busy dancing and singing and smurfing snowballs at each other," Narrator continued. "However, this Christmas Grouchy was expecting something special for a gift, which was a hang glider. Jokey smurfed the picture of the hang glider and thought it looked like a paper plane. Then Papa Smurf gathered every Smurf together for their gifts, which he personally passed out to each and every Smurf. The gift was a new Smurf hat, and every Smurf was pleased to get such a gift...all except for Grouchy, who was expecting something different."
"Gosh, why would Grouchy smurf so upset over a hat?" Tailor asked. "They're so white, traditional, and very distinguished."
"Hmmm, so you would think, Tailor," Vanity snorted in disbelief.
"Smurfette showed Grouchy that he was like this for the past three years, how when he expected something different for a Christmas gift, all he ever smurfed was a hat," Narrator said. "Then came the previous Christmas, and Jokey smurfed Grouchy a present that looked like Papa Smurf finally smurfed through this time and smurfed him a hang glider. But when Grouchy opened the present, it was just another one of Jokey's surprises, and as usual his Christmas gift was a new hat. This made Grouchy so upset that he smurfed his present on the ground and shouted, 'I...HATE...HATS!'"
"Aw, gee...that was a nasty thing Jokey smurfed on Grouchy that Christmas," Sassette said.
"There, there, Sassette, it's only a story," Papa Smurf said.
"What I would like to know, Narrator, is where I smurf any part in the story," Brainy said. "After all, how can you smurf a Christmas story about the Smurfs without smurfing the most important Smurf of all...namely myself?"
"Funny you should mention that, Brainy," Narrator said. "After Smurfette took Grouchy flying over the forest where he ended up falling when she lost her smurf on him, he fell onto a snow Smurf and soon found out that it was now Christmas Eve. And standing before him was you, or rather, the Smurf of Christmas Present. Your job was to show Grouchy what effect his non-participation in Christmas would cause to his fellow Smurfs. As they were making last-minute preparations to the Christmas tree, Greedy sent Culinary to smurf the Christmas decorations, and one of them was the star, which Grouchy would smurf up on the tree every Christmas. Clumsy saw that Grouchy wasn't around to smurf the job, so he decided to smurf the star on top of the tree himself."
"Oh, boy," Clumsy said excitedly. "I never get to smurf that job around here."
"It's pretty obvious why no Smurf would ever let you smurf the star on top of the tree, Clumsy," Brainy said.
"The Smurfs in the story tried to keep Clumsy away from the tree with the star, Brainy," Narrator said. "However, he tripped on the box of ornaments, and that smurfed a chain reaction that caused all the Christmas lights to smurf out, knocking down a Christmas wreath, smurfing fire to some Christmas stockings, and knocking down the tree itself until it smurfed on fire. By the time Handy smurfed out the flames, the tree was burned to a crisp. All they could do is sadly wonder how things would be different if Grouchy was there to smurf his job."
"I don't see what's so important about smurfing a star on top of the tree, anyway," Grouchy said.
"The whole point, Grouchy, is that every action, no matter how insignificant it may seem, has a reaction, and that your character's non-participation in the events of that Christmas has caused what Narrator has told us about," Empath said.
"That's not all what Brainy wanted to show Grouchy, Empath," Narrator said. "He also showed him that Papa Smurf had personally smurfed every hat for each and every Smurf, and that he smurfed a special hat for Grouchy that he wished would smurf it a chance. All Papa Smurf could do is sigh and smurf for the best. This made Grouchy so sad that he wanted to tell Papa Smurf how sorry he was, but Brainy said that Papa Smurf couldn't hear him, and the next thing Grouchy saw was the last of the Three Fates...the Smurf of Christmas Future, who appeared in the form of Hefty."
"Now this story's really smurfing to be interesting, Narrator," Hefty said.
"Thank you, Hefty," Narrator said. "His job was to show Grouchy the future that would smurf from his decision to not participate in Christmas, and with a smurf of his finger, Grouchy saw that he was in the Smurf Village, but it was all deserted. There wasn't a single Smurf left in it. He smurfed through a window into the dining hall where they would smurf their Christmas dinner and heard voices smurfing that they would go out into the forest to smurf a new tree that would make Grouchy feel all better. This made Grouchy so worried that he smurfed out there into the cold snowy forest with Hefty smurfing along, and that's where he saw Brainy's glasses smurfed behind as well as Vanity's hat and a few others."
"Slithering salamanders, Narrator, what happened to them?" Sassette asked.
"Hefty pointed Grouchy to the one place where the Smurfs were taken...to Gargamel's castle," Narrator said. "Suddenly he himself appeared inside the evil wizard's lair and saw that all his fellow Smurfs were captured and smurfed into cages, even Papa Smurf when he went out to look for them. It was then that the Smurf of Christmas Future disappeared and Gargamel appeared with his cat Azrael, ready to capture Grouchy as well. He quickly tried to escape the wizard and his cat by smurfing on top of a bookshelf, but then the bookshelf started to collapse until Grouchy found himself smurfing into the fiery liquid of the cauldron below..."
"OH NO! NOT GROUCHY!" almost every Smurf shouted.
"I hate 'Oh no, not Grouchy!'" Grouchy said.
"And then suddenly, Grouchy appeared back inside his house, and back to his normal appearance like everything else," Narrator said. "He realized that it was still Christmas Eve, and he still had time to change things. So by Christmas morning, Papa Smurf and the other Smurfs were surprised to see Grouchy up and about smurfing up the last of the decorations for the Christmas tree and even smurfing up a fruitcake for Hefty, which every Smurf knows is his favorite food this smurf of the season. Grouchy apologized to Papa Smurf, saying that he was too busy smurfing what he wanted and not appreciating the greater gift of smurfing a family that loves him and cares for him."
"Oh, Grouchy, that's just so sweet of you...I mean, you in the story," Smurfette said.
"It was then Papa Smurf had smurfed Grouchy his Christmas present, saying that he knew it wasn't a hang glider, but he smurfed that hat just for him," Narrator said. "After Grouchy smurfed the star on the tree wearing the new hat, he decided to test out the new hat, and smurfly enough, it was a hat that was made for gliding. This made Grouchy a very happy Smurf, and his fellow Smurfs knew that he had the Christmas spirit back in him again. And that, my fellow Smurfs, is the end of my story."
"That was an interesting Christmas story you have shared with us, Narrator," Empath said. "May this one ask where this story actually comes from?"
Narrator chuckled. "It's just one of those things that I happen to smurf across in my role as the narrator of your stories, Empath. You can't expect me to smurf you everything that I personally know."
"And this smurf wouldn't try getting this information from you otherwise," Empath said. "This smurf appreciates the effort, nevertheless."
"I don't know, Empath," Grouchy said. "The whole thing just smurfs rather ridiculous. I mean, me smurfing so upset over a hat, just because I wanted a hang glider."
"We're all faced with disappointments at some point in our lives, Grouchy," Empath said. "How often this smurf wanted to be with you and all the other Smurfs around Christmas during the times when this smurf was in Psychelia. That is what this smurf would consider the greatest Christmas present of all."
"And Smurfette, now that she's here among us?" Grouchy asked.
"That would also include Smurfette, Grouchy, more than anything," Empath said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-25-2012 01:49 PM
"Holey Smurf!"
-----
Empath was looking through Handy's workshop and had noticed all the tools he had laying about, thinking that for a mechanic and engineer, he would be so busy that he would forget to put his tools back in order. Then he came across a tool he had never seen before. "What exactly is this tool, Handy?" he asked, showing Handy the tool in question.
"Oh, that was the power driller that I have smurfed some years ago before you returned, Empath," Handy said.
"A power driller?" Empath asked, curious. "You would need a tool that would help you drill holes for your work?"
"At the time, yes," Handy answered. "It was around Papa Smurf's birthday, and Greedy was going to smurf a cake for the party, but he got sick smurfing a recipe in the kitchen, and Medic had him smurfed up in his house for a while. Somebody had to fill in for smurfing the cake, so Smurfette said that she would, even though she had never smurfed a cake before."
"This smurf isn't sure what that had to do with this power driller, Handy," Empath said.
"Let me explain, Empath," Handy said. "Smurfette was smurfing in the kitchen, when she noticed that the mixing spoon was all smurfed out of shape, so she smurfed to my workshop and was going to ask me if I could smurf up the spoon. I rudely smurfed her that I didn't have the time, so she smurfed off really mad. I was so busy trying to smurf some really neat holes without causing wooden boards to smurf apart, but nothing I had smurfed. So I thought, 'what if I could smurf up a drill that would smurf holes into boards without making them smurf or making my arms get tired smurfing it?' And that's when I smurfed up the idea for the power driller."
"So what did you use to power the drill?" Empath asked.
"Bees," Handy answered. "I smurfed the inside of the drill with honey, and then I smurfed outside near a bees' nest and attracted a swarm of bees smurf around inside the driller, where they would smurf their wings to smurf the helices inside the driller to make it smurf. Anyway, with the bees inside the driller, I smurfed a test by drilling a hole into a board, and voila! It came out smurfectly."
"So what did you use this power driller for, Handy?" Empath asked.
"Pretty much everything that I could smurf my hands on," Handy said. "I smurfed holes here and there, pretty much everywhere in the village. Of course, I was so smurfy with the power driller because this was my latest tool and I had to smurf it off to my fellow Smurfs, but this ended up causing problems. One Smurf went to smurf water from a pump and got smurfed by water because I smurfed a hole in the pump. Marco's sailboat smurfed in the water because I smurfed a hole there. I ruined one of the magic flutes that Piper was smurfing because I smurfed holes there. I smurfed holes in Hefty's barbells, although he ended up smurfing them as bowling balls. Of course, nobody in the village knew at the time that I was smurfing all this."
"When did they find out about this power driller?" Empath asked.
"It was after Smurfette and a few Smurfs went smurfing into the forest to get fresh smurfberries for Papa Smurf's smurfday cake, Empath," Handy said. "I wanted to smurf my power driller to her, but she said to me that she didn't have time, so I ended up smurfing a little surprise. From what the others have smurfed me, she got the smurfberries and then she smurfed up the cake batter and was ready to smurf it into the cake mold, but when she smurfed it in, it ended up smurfing out of the bottom. Smurfette was so mad, she thought it was Jokey who smurfed this, and he honestly said that he didn't. That's when I smurfed up with my power driller and said that I have now smurfed Smurfette a strainer with the cake mold. And that's when everybody found out that I was smurfing holes in everything in the village."
"That must have been a really painful revelation to your fellow Smurfs, to know that you were causing damage by testing out your new power driller," Empath surmised.
"You don't know the half of it, Empath," Handy said. "They were so mad at me that, at the smurfday party, they decided to smurf my power driller into a butt-kicking machine. Even now, I can still feel it in my smurf."
Empath laughed. "This smurf would assume you have learned your lesson when it comes to the proper testing of any new tools you would create, Handy."
"You could smurf that I really had holes in my head, Empath," Handy said, also laughing.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-25-2012 01:51 PM
"The Garden Of Evil"
-----
One day Empath and Smurfette were sitting quietly outside near the forest, just simply enjoying the view. Of course, they were also sitting quietly, enjoying their hands being held together, which made everything they were looking at seem pale in comparison. They felt as if they could sit like this and enjoy this moment forever.
Then finally Smurfette spoke. "I can't help but think of a day about four years before you smurfed home for good, Empath, when the Smurfs decided to enjoy a picnic out here in the forest."
"Were you with your fellow Smurfs when they went on this picnic, Smurfette?" Empath asked.
"No, but I would have wanted to come if they have asked me to," Smurfette asked. "Anyway, I let the boys smurf their fun all by themselves...they smurfed the umbrella, the cakes, the smurfberry juice, everything they would need. They smurfed this park that we would go to just to smurf away from the village for a while. One Smurf tried to smurf the swing, but the rope broke. Another Smurf tried to smurf a fire, but it got too smoky. There were a lot of problems at the park, like the grass was too high and thick, Vanity ruined his pants by smurfing on mud, the water was too cold to smurf in, and there were a lot of bugs that made it hard to eat."
"That's not exactly the kind of picnic that this smurf would want to be on, Smurfette," Empath said.
"I didn't blame them for that, Empath," Smurfette said. "They smurfed back to the village and asked Handy if they could borrow him and his tools to smurf up the park. He let them have full smurf of his workshop, so they smurfed up all these things to make the park all smurfy again. One Smurf made a folding lawn chair that he tried to unfold, only it ended up smurfing his finger, which required Medic Smurf to take care of."
"That must have been painful," Empath said.
"And then another Smurf tried smurfing a barbecue grill that smurfed without smoke, except that it exploded," Smurfette continued. "And a third Smurf built a big lawnsmurfer that was just too big for him to smurf, so he smurfed out all the things in his machine to make it lighter, and he ended up with just the sickle. And Dimwitty Smurf had smurfed up this big rake to smurf up the big leaves in the park. Needless to say, it was getting dark by the time they were finished smurfing up all these things, so they smurfed home to bed."
"So how did you get involved in this situation, Smurfette?" Empath asked.
"Well, the following day I was smurfing out into the forest to smurf some wild smurfberries," Smurfette said, "and while I was out there, I smurfed a sign that led to a place called The Garden Of Delights. I smurfed home and told all the other Smurfs about it. Brainy thought it was a trap and tried to warn us to smurf away, but the others were willing to smurf with me to smurf it for themselves. And sure enough, it was a beautiful park: it had swings, it had a smurfing pool, it had umbrellas, it had a barbecue grill. It had everything we could ever ask for."
"And yet this smurf senses that this Garden Of Delights was just too good to be true, Smurfette, like Brainy had suspected all along," Empath said.
"One by one, the things in the park smurfed into traps," Smurfette said. "A folding chair captured one Smurf, the smurfing pool drained and captured two Smurfs, the barbecue grill was smurfing tear gas, me and another Smurf got captured by the porch swing, an umbrella captured another Smurf. We would soon find out who it was who had smurfed up this Garden Of Delights."
"And that someone was Gargamel," Empath guessed.
"Exactly, Empath," Smurfette said. "Fortunately, Brainy smurfed away from the park and saw Gargamel smurf us all one by one, so he went to tell Papa Smurf what had happened, and he and the other Smurfs came smurfing into the park to attack Gargamel to get him to release the captured Smurfs. Gargamel was just struggling to get the Smurfs off him when he stepped on Dimwitty's rake and was smurfed out cold. We were all very grateful that for all the silly things Dimwitty has smurfed over the years, he at least smurfed something that was useful in saving us."
Empath laughed. "This smurf could only imagine a Smurf like Dimwitty ever saving the day using anything. Anyway, this smurf is glad that you got out of that Garden Of Delights alive along with the other Smurfs."
"Sometimes, Empath, I wonder what it would be like to have you smurfing with me back then," Smurfette said, sighing. "Would I ever have found you the Smurf that I would smurf my entire life with?"
"Who knows what would have happened, Smurfette?" Empath said. "All that really matters is what we have now together...and that for this smurf would be my Garden Of Delights right there."
Smurfette smiled as she looked at Empath when he said that.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-25-2012 01:54 PM
"Pizza Night At Tapper's Tavern"
-----
It was evening at Tapper's Tavern, and Tapper the village bartender noticed that every Smurf in the place was in a foul mood.
"Great Smurfiny Crickets!" he said. "Did something terrible happen in the village today that smurfed everybody to be under this dark cloud?"
"Yeah," one Smurf said. "Greedy's dinner! It was the absolute worst!"
"Uggh," another Smurf said. "Was Greedy experimenting with food again?"
"It was more like smurfing one of Papa Smurf's experiments than an actual dinner," a third Smurf said.
"I hate smurfing one of Papa Smurf's experiments," Grouchy said.
"Actually, I think Culinary was to blame for this mess of what they called dinner, Tapper," a fourth Smurf said.
"I'm sorry to hear that, my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said. "I was rather busy smurfing the ale today that I hardly smurfed any time to eat."
"Biscotti's been busy at his shop as well," the first Smurf said. "No idea what he was smurfing, but it sure smurfed real good!"
"Well, I'm not in the mood for any cakes or pies right now!" the second Smurf said.
"Yeah, we need some real smurfy food to smurf in our stomachs," the third Smurf said.
"It's too bad Tapper's Tavern isn't a restaurant, though," the fourth Smurf said. "I would love to smurf something different right about now."
"The only thing I have at the counter are these hazelnuts," Tapper said, putting out a bowl of the nuts.
"Ale and nuts are more for a snack, not a meal," a fifth Smurf said.
"Quick...smurf on the food, I'm smurfing from hunger," a sixth Smurf said, acting like he hasn't eaten food in days.
"Well, I'm certainly going to tell Papa Smurf that Greedy's cooking isn't up to his usual standards, and Papa Smurf is going to smurf some words with him, because even Papa Smurf would be displeased at the quality of the food that was smurfed tonight...," Brainy said.
There was a knock on the door. "Excuse me, fellow Smurfs, but this smurf has a special delivery for Tapper Smurf," a familiar voice said.
One of the Smurfs opened the door, and it was Empath Smurf carrying a stack of flat boxes, and from the boxes smelled something that was hot, fresh, and tantalizing. "Great Smurfiny Crickets, Empath," Tapper said. "What are you smurfing into the tavern tonight?"
"A little something from Biscotti's bakery called pizza," Empath answered. "It's the answer to everybody's woes concerning the meal we had tonight."
"Pizza?" every Smurf in the tavern wondered. Whatever it was, it certainly smelled delicious.
Empath took one of the boxes off the top of the stack and opened it, revealing a small flat round pie with tomato sauce, cheese, and various types of vegetable toppings. He handed a slice to one of the Smurfs approaching the counter.
He took a bite of the slice. "Mmmm...now that is truly satisfying," he said with a smile.
Empath stood behind the counter and served every Smurf a slice from the boxes. He could see that every Smurf enjoyed how a pizza tasted.
"Why not try a slice for yourself, Tapper?" Empath suggested, handing him one.
Tapper took the slice and took a bite from it. "A very interesting delicacy," he commented. "Did Biscotti come up with this idea himself?"
"Actually, this was the work of both Biscotti and Culinary, Tapper," Empath answered. "Culinary suggested pouring tomato sauce and cheese onto the flattened bread before baking, and then Biscotti baked it and tried it out for himself. Apparently he liked it so much that he decided to devote part of his time to making these pies when Smurfs want more than just breads and desserts from him."
"Hmmm...I wonder what Greedy would have to say about this," Tapper wondered.
"This smurf doubts that Greedy would turn something like this down, Tapper," Empath said. "If anything, he would probably thank Biscotti and Culinary for saving the Smurfs from such a disastrous meal."
"Or maybe Greedy would want to smurf his hand at making these...pizzas," Tapper said as he took another bite.
"My compliments will certainly go to the chef for this wonderful alternative to tonight's dinner, I must say," Brainy said.
"You think we'd have another pizza night here at the tavern, Tapper?" one of the Smurfs asked.
Tapper pondered. "It would have to be for a special occasion, that's all I'll have to smurf," he said.
"Smurfball night!" one of the Smurfs shouted. "We got to have one for smurfball night!"
The other Smurfs seemed to be shouting in approval to that idea.
"This is my tavern, but I would like to hear your idea of what I should smurf," Tapper told Empath.
"Your customers seem to enjoy the idea of a pizza night, Tapper," Empath said. "This smurf will talk to Biscotti and see what we can do for such an event."
Tapper sighed. "Then maybe I should smurf another slice with a good mug of ale to smurf it down."
"Pizza and ale," Empath said. "This smurf couldn't think of anything better on a night like this!"
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-25-2012 01:55 PM
"My House Is Your House"
This takes place following "The Exile From Psychelia".
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It is the night of Polaris' first day in the Smurf Village, and Polaris had spent it mostly in the company of Empath introducing him to the various Smurfs he has only heard about, plus those that only Empath knew about since he came home for good. They had ended the day together at Tapper's Tavern, watching the entertainments going on and talking with the village bartender, who is eager to find out more about the Psyche who has now made the Smurf Village his home.
After the tavern had closed for the night, Polaris asked, "Where will this one be staying for the night, Empath?"
"Since we have been living together in the same residence when we were in Psychelia, Polaris, this smurf doesn't see why you shouldn't stay with this smurf until you decide to have a place of your own," Empath answered. "This smurf had Hefty and Tuffy move a spare bed into the house so that we could bunk together."
"You are certain that is a wise decision?" Polaris asked. "This one senses the discomfort that the other Smurfs have of us being seen together like this."
"Let them think what they want, Polaris," Empath answered. "Only we know for certain what our actual relationship with each other is like. Besides, we're not doing anything that's wrong."
They both entered the house, and Polaris noticed that his bed and Empath's were very different from each other. "Is that what you actually sleep on for a bed, Empath?" Polaris asked, pointing to the lumpy giant cushion that looked like a beanbag.
"It's the most comfortable bed this smurf has ever slept in, Polaris," Empath said. "You should try it sometime. Anyway, you'll find that the Smurfs make the best beds for anyone to lie upon. They're far better than the ones in our sleeping quarters in Psychelia."
Polaris decided to try out his bed. He laid down on top of the sheets and noticed how soft everything is. "The Psyches never had need for such comfort like this, Empath," he commented.
"You'll get used to it, Polaris," Empath said, taking out his bathrobe and going behind the dressing divider to change into it. "Of course, if you don't like the mattress, we could have Carpenter bring in a special bed without a mattress that you could sleep on."
"This one will adapt," Polaris said, watching as Empath came from behind the divider with his bathrobe on and little else besides his underwear. "Is that what you and the other Smurfs actually wear when you go to sleep?"
"Normally, most Smurfs wear a nightgown and a nightcap when they go to sleep, Polaris," Empath answered. "Somehow, this smurf feels more comfortable wearing a bit less. Of course, knowing how you would react to this smurf appearing in a half-dressed state, this smurf is also wearing a bathrobe until we get used to living with each other."
Polaris frowned, already feeling somewhat uncomfortable hearing about Empath's sleeping habits in the Smurf Village. "Is that why you also do not wear your hat when you sleep?" he asked.
Empath laughed with a little embarrassment. "Perhaps it's just a habit that this smurf picked up from living in Psychelia for too long, Polaris," he answered. "Anyway, this smurf will only wear the hat in public, since it's basically a custom for a Smurf to be wearing a hat, and besides, this smurf doesn't like having this smurf's designation code constantly being displayed on the back of this smurf's head. It's degrading enough to have to display it in the sight of everyone in Psychelia."
"This one would empathize with your situation, Empath," Polaris said. "Perhaps tomorrow we will make better arrangements for ourselves when it comes to sharing the same residence together."
"Just remember, Polaris, that my house is your house," Empath said as he settled into his bed. "You should have a good night's sleep knowing that you're free of being tethered to the mindlink of the other Psyches."
"That may take some time for this one to get used to as well, Empath," Polaris said as he relaxed himself. "Rest well, fellow Empath...this one will see you again in the morning."
"Rest well, fellow Polaris," Empath said, as they both closed their eyes and fell asleep.
During the night, however, Empath found himself back in the dream space that he and Polaris used to be in together when they were in Psychelia, again wearing nothing more than the same white robes. To Empath, it felt like he was being awakened from his sleep. "Polaris, this smurf thought that you would be asleep by now," Empath said.
"In a manner of speaking, we are both sleeping, Empath," Polaris said. "It's just that this one has been without being in contact with you in the dream space for about a year, and that this one longs for your presence within it."
"This smurf can understand that feeling, Polaris," Empath said. "It's just that this smurf has gotten used to sleeping without being in a dream space with anyone, since the Smurfs around here prefer this smurf not to invade them in their sleep just so they can keep company with this smurf."
"Then this one apologizes for invading your privacy, Empath," Polaris said. "This one is not aware that this is your custom sleeping habit in the Smurf Village."
"That's not a problem, Polaris," Empath said. "You'll get used to sleeping without having to use a dream space. In time you'll have thoughts of your own that you may not want to share with this smurf due to their rather personal nature."
"As this one senses that you have some thoughts about Smurfette that you do not wish to share with anyone except with her alone," Polaris said. "This one finds is rather odd that you do not wish to communicate those thoughts directly with her through your telepathic abilities."
"This smurf would rather not communicate with Smurfette in a way that would be invasive to her, Polaris," Empath said. "Besides, Smurfette's mind isn't always easy for this smurf to read her thoughts from, which has been a mystery to this smurf from the day this smurf has first met her."
"This one has never imagined your people to be so needful of privacy despite how open they seem to be in their need to express themselves, Empath," Polaris said.
"Well, that's the nature of people who are not telepaths like us, Polaris," Empath said. "This smurf had to be taught by Papa Smurf not to use this smurf's minds-eye powers to snoop into other Smurfs' minds unless it's absolutely necessary for the greater good."
"That seems to be a very wise policy coming from one who does not share our abilities, Empath," Polaris said. "This one will make sure that this one will heed to that policy as well. And hopefully this one will be respectful of your privacy so that this one will not need to disturb your sleep through such a form of communication as this."
"Just remember that you're free to communicate anything with this smurf even when we're awake, Polaris," Empath said. "If you need to communicate anything to me through telepathy, don't hesitate to do so."
"This one acknowledges, Empath," Polaris said, nodding with acceptance. "Then this one will allow you to go back to your sleep without invading your privacy."
"You do not need to leave unless this smurf wishes it, Polaris," Empath said. "This smurf also misses your company in the dream space. You can stay for as long as you like until you need to awaken from your sleep."
"But what is there for us to do in the dream space if there's no need for us to talk about anything private in here?" Polaris asked.
"That's the best part of it, Polaris -- you don't have to do anything in it," Empath answered. "You can simply just sit and relax and not have to think about anything at all."
"Then this one will remain with you until it is time for us to awaken," Polaris said as he and Empath sat down in the middle of the meadow and stared at the picturesque scenery that defined the landscape of the dream space.
After what seemed like a long while, Empath turned to Polaris and found him lying in the meadow, sleeping -- which was pretty odd, for Empath never thought anyone would fall asleep in a dream space. He smiled, glad to see that his friend felt comfortable, and then laid back and stared up at the sky, imagining what Polaris may be dreaming about right about now.
Then Empath ended up closing his eyes in the dream space, and the next thing he knew, it was morning. He opened his eyes and saw that his friend Polaris Psyche was still there. He had woken up earlier and was simply sitting upon his bed waiting for Empath. "Salutations, fellow Empath," he greeted in his usual flat-toned voice.
Empath stretched his arms as he yawned. "Salutations, fellow Polaris. Did you sleep well?"
"This one's resting period was tranquil, to say the least," Polaris answered. "Again, this one apologizes for intruding upon you in the dream space."
"You have nothing to apologize for, Polaris," Empath said. "This smurf is just glad that you are able to sleep in your first night here at the Smurf Village." He then looked at himself. "This smurf just needs to slip into something a bit more appropriate, and then we can go out for breakfast together." He pulled some clothes out of his dresser and stepped behind the divider to change into them.
"This one notices that you have left the clothes you were wearing yesterday on the floor, Empath," Polaris commented. "Is that the usual habit of the Smurfs?"
"No, it's just a habit that some of this smurf's fellow Smurfs have picked up, and so has this smurf, Polaris," Empath answered. "However, this smurf does admit that this habit is rather embarrassing, because this smurf usually doesn't let other Smurfs come into this smurf's house unless it's absolutely necessary."
"It seems that this will be an adjustment you will have to make now that this one has become a resident of your living quarters," Polaris said with a hint of disgust in his voice.
Empath snorted at that, never expecting to hear that from his friend in the way that he said it, as he stepped out from behind the divider fully clothed. "We can deal with that later, Polaris. Let's just get our breakfast and find out what you may do today to contribute to the everyday life of the village."
Polaris sighed as he and Empath left the house together.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Amy Sue Smurfette
Nurturer Smurf / The Odd Smurf
Member # 4050
Member Rated:
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posted 06-27-2012 04:27 PM
these are really great! i don't remember seeing any of them before :-D
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we're all someone's little fangirl.
Posts: 903 | From: fah fah aweeey... | Registered: Oct 2011
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-27-2012 04:52 PM
I posted them mostly at the Smurfs Fanon Wiki, which is at this address: smurfsfanon.wikia.com
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 06-27-2012 05:56 PM
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Jokie Smurf
Jokie Smurf22 / Chloette / Elton John Smurf / My dog Padfoot
Member # 4119
Member Rated:
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posted 06-27-2012 06:49 PM
Lol! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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When people say giving is better than receiving they are talking about me. Giving someone one of my exploding presents is WAY better than receiving one. ;)
Posts: 2871 | From: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Amy Sue Smurfette
Nurturer Smurf / The Odd Smurf
Member # 4050
Member Rated:
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posted 06-27-2012 07:37 PM
Thanks for the link! I absosmurfly love that picture :-D
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we're all someone's little fangirl.
Posts: 903 | From: fah fah aweeey... | Registered: Oct 2011
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Carnation
dogboo22 / Brunette / Greedette / President Smurfette / Summer Smurfette
Member # 4086
Member Rated:
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posted 06-28-2012 12:36 PM
I love the stories!
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With a good attitude no one can bring you down - Carnation
Posts: 969 | From: Far Far Away | Registered: Nov 2011
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Carnation
dogboo22 / Brunette / Greedette / President Smurfette / Summer Smurfette
Member # 4086
Member Rated:
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posted 06-28-2012 12:37 PM
I love the stories! There so detailed.
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With a good attitude no one can bring you down - Carnation
Posts: 969 | From: Far Far Away | Registered: Nov 2011
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Vic George The ND Guy
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 07-01-2012 08:20 AM
"Why Can't It Be Love: A Talk With Tapper"
This story's on a really tough subject.
-----
Empath was busy reading Tapper's holy book in his tavern when he came across something. "Tapper, what's with this story about places called Sodom and Gomorrah that got destroyed by this Almighty?" he asked.
"It's a question I was not hoping any Smurf would ask me, my good Empath, but one that I feel is necessary to answer nonetheless," Tapper said when he came over to where Empath was sitting. "You see, these two places were destroyed because the people in it were engaging in unsmurfy and unholy practices that I would not wish to see any Smurf engage in."
"And what are these practices that they were engaging in?" Empath asked.
"Men with men, smurfing with what is unseemly and totally against nature," Tapper said. "It's such a terrible thing when creatures smurf what is meant for pure and holy purposes and pervert it for their own pleasure."
"You mean...these men were in love with each other?" Empath asked.
"I would not dare call what they were smurfing love at all, Empath," Tapper said. "In the beginning, when the Almighty smurfed the heavens and the earth, He smurfed creatures to be male and female, and He smurfed them to go forth and multiply and fill the earth. He smurfed the first man into being whom He called Adam, He smurfed him to be in charge over everything He created. But then He realized it is not good for the man to be alone, so He smurfed a woman from the man's rib and brought her to him. And He said that for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be smurfed to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
"That's how you said marriage came to be, Tapper," Empath said. "But this smurf doesn't understand what this has to do with these men...loving each other."
"Marriage is a picture of how the Almighty wants to smurf a relationship with us, with the man representing Him and the woman representing us," Tapper said. "He wants the relationship to be very exclusive so that we do not smurf any other gods in His place. In the same way, marriage is to be an exclusive relationship so that neither the man nor the woman should smurf any other people in the partner's place."
"This smurf can see how important that is, Tapper, as this smurf would not want to dishonor Smurfette by having any other kind of love get in the way of this smurf's love for her," Empath said. "But it still doesn't answer in this smurf's mind why a man can't or shouldn't love a man in the same way that a man loves a woman."
"Let me ask you a personal question, if you will not mind the intrusion, Empath," Tapper said. "You speak of your relationship with Polaris as being...well, intimate. Just how 'intimate' would you smurf this relationship is?"
Empath thought about that question. "Well, this smurf knows what Polaris is like, what he likes and what he dislikes, and that this smurf is willing to give anything for him, including this smurf's life, and this smurf knows that Polaris feels the same way for this smurf as well."
"But does this intimacy between the two of you extend beyond the emotional and spiritual, Empath?" Tapper asked. "Does it also include the...well..."
"This smurf senses that you mean the physical, and in answer to that question, this smurf honestly isn't attracted to Polaris like that," Empath said, sounding rather defensive. "We're just good friends who are like brothers, that's all."
"I don't mean to offend you, Empath," Tapper said. "It's just that physical attraction can be a very powerful and dangerous thing to smurf with, and sometimes it can be confused for love. There are people who think that they are smurfed into this world to love someone of the same gender in that fashion, but those people are sadly confused and even deceived by the sin nature that is in all of us."
"So you think this...love that men have with each other is a sin?" Empath said.
"The Almighty thinks it is, unfortunately," Tapper said. "As He created all creatures to be male and female and to populate the earth and for man to smurf His image, He does not smurf kindly to man smurfing things with man as he would smurf to a woman, and in the Old Testament, those kind of men were smurfed very harshly and brutally because He wanted His people to be pure and holy. But now He wants His love and grace to be smurfed to all so that man will choose will be pure and holy just as He is and put their lives in the trust of His only begotten Son."
"That doesn't sound very fair, that this Almighty would punish people for having this kind of love...not that this smurf would ever want to love a fellow Smurf in that manner, Tapper," Empath said.
"It's very heartbreaking, Empath, but true love must know its limits or else it wouldn't be love at all," Tapper said. "Even the love of the Almighty has its limits, and He cannot have wicked people smurfing with Him in heaven."
"It's still not an easy thing to accept, Tapper," Empath said.
"Evil has its many forms in this world, Empath, but we're all guilty of it because we've all been tainted with thoughts of evil...even myself," Tapper said. "There's not a day that passes that I have to deal with evil thoughts about my fellow Smurfs and about other people and creatures."
"This smurf could never sense you as being evil in any way, Tapper, unless you're an expert of hiding something from this smurf," Empath said.
"Aye, but that's what I feel in the smurf of my being, Empath," Tapper said. "It's not easy smurfing with a hundred personalities, some of which tend to smurf me the wrong way, like Jokey at times. That's why I always ask the Almighty to smurf my heart and find what it is that's offending Him and to remove it so I can smurf like Him."
"So how can men truly love another man if they can't love them as they would love a woman?" Empath asked.
"The same way that the Almighty loves us, Empath...unconditionally," Tapper said. "We must be willing to smurf them as poor souls that are in need of the love that they cannot smurf from another man or woman, the kind of love that can only smurf from one place and from one being."
"It just bothers this smurf that this kind of...love that the men in Sodom and Gomorrah were engaging in led to their destruction, Tapper," Empath said.
"That is why I pray that the Smurf Village will never smurf in the way of such a miserable end, Empath," Tapper said. "Not that man smurfing love with a woman is any less dangerous, if a man or a woman is smurfed by their own desires, which I feel that may be the case with most of my fellow Smurfs."
"It does make this smurf wonder about Hefty trying to win Smurfette's heart, though, whether he's truly in love with her or what," Empath said.
"I don't wish to be the judge of Hefty's motives, Empath, but my prayer is for his heart to be pure in his love for Smurfette regardless of what reward he hopes to smurf from her," Tapper said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 4103 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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