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Author
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Topic: A Joke Gone Wrong: A Smurfs Fanfic
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Jokie Smurf
Jokie Smurf22 / Chloette / Elton John Smurf / My dog Padfoot
Member # 4119
Member Rated:
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posted 12-21-2011 02:14 PM
Very nice story so far Rowena, can't wait to see what happens next.
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When people say giving is better than receiving they are talking about me. Giving someone one of my exploding presents is WAY better than receiving one. ;)
Posts: 2871 | From: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Lazy Smurf
blue4ever
Member # 4138
Member Rated:
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posted 12-21-2011 03:32 PM
me too
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HELLO SMURFY WORLD!
(I'm blue4ever)
Posts: 157 | From: smurfs village | Registered: Dec 2011
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Rowena
Smurf
Member # 4018
Member Rated:
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posted 12-24-2011 08:37 AM
Thanks! Yep, Marina's going to be in this story, but she won't show up for a few chapters yet. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
We had a big Christmas party at my sister's house and I didn't get a chance to put up any chapters, so I'm going to put up two today. I hope you enjoy them. Merry Christmas Eve! ![[Santa Smurf]](graemlins/santa.gif)
Part XII
Gargamel woke from a restless sleep to find himself surrounded by five tall, oddly dressed strangers. He jerked straight up on his thin, lumpy cot and looked around, thoroughly disoriented.
To the disguised Smurfs that surrounded him, the balding wizard looked much older in the sunlight than he had the night before; his face wrinkled and his black, greasy hair streaked with gray.
"Ooooh, my back! What-why- Who are you?" he demanded. "Where am I?"
"You're in the same boat we are, Gargamel," Slouchy said.
"Remember us?" Snappy asked. "You ran away from us last night at Father Time's cave. But you don't belong here any more than we do."
"Wha-what do you want from me?" Gargamel asked.
"Your help," Sassette said. "Father Time's been captured by your double. That means you're the only one who can tell us where he might be!"
Gargamel squinted up at her for a moment, looking as if he was trying to place her. Then, he quickly shook his head and sank back down onto the cot.
"Oh, go away," he grunted. "I need to get some sleep. Then, when I wake up, I'll be back in my great big house in my great big bed and my servants will have my breakfast waiting for me. Yes, let me sleep..."
"Oh, no. You're getting up right now, Gargamel," the Professor said, grabbing the aging wizard by the shoulders and hefting him upright. "Come on, upsy daisy!"
Slouchy, Snappy and Nat helped force the stooped old man to his feet.
The commotion woke Azrael, who had aged almost as badly as Gargamel. The bony cat extended his claws, but before he could gather himself to pounce, a large wicker cage dropped over him from above, where the rest of the Smurfs had been waiting among the rafters. Azrael gave a plaintive yowl, but the cage held despite his scratching.
Gargamel stared, then scowled, his pale face deepening to an angry red.
"Smurfs!" he growled. "I should have known you wretched blue schemers would be behind this! Let me go, all of you, or I'll destroy you all like I did the first time around!"
"What are you talking about, Gargamel?" Slouchy demanded.
"You fools! Don't you know who I am?" the aging wizard snarled. "I am Gargamel the Great! The celebrated wizard who used Father Time's sand to trap the Smurfs and turn them all to gold!"
"Why you—" Sassette gasped. "How could you! Oh, no wonder those Sands of Probability swapped Gargamel with you! You killed the Smurfs and used the gold to get rich in the future!"
"Quite right, my dear, quite right!" the wicked little man cackled. "And I can do it again. Let me go now, or I'll—"
"You'll nothing," Snappy snapped. "You don't have Father Time's sand. The Gargamel that lives here does."
"That's right, Gargamel," the Professor said. "And right now, he also has your big house, your big bed, your servants, and your breakfast. All while you're stuck here in his ramshackle little hovel...with us." He smiled.
Gargamel glared at the taller man, then up at the Smurfs gathered in the rafters, and he slowly deflated.
"Oh, drat," he moaned. "So this drafty nightmare of a shack really isn't a bad dream after all?"
"'Fraid not, Gargy," Sassette smiled.
The wizard winced, and shrank away from her.
"And you five…you really are…?"
"Smurfs, yes," the Professor said.
"Yeech."
Gargamel shuddered.
Looking bleakly around the cluttered stone room, he seemed to consider his options. Finally, he sighed.
"Oh, all right, I'll help," he grunted. "But if I do, can you guarantee I'll be able to return home, to my time, and never have to look upon another miserable Smurf for as long as I live?"
"There are no guarantees in life, Gargamel," the Professor lectured. "We can only ever do our best. But I think your chances are pretty good if you tell us where you think your counterpart would have stashed Father Time."
"Well, if that other Gargamel really has taken over my house, as you all seem to think, I'd say he probably has the old fool locked in the wine cellar," the old man said. "That's where I would keep a whiny pest like Father Time if I had him."
"That's a start," the Professor said, glancing up at Papa Smurf, who was making his way over to Gargamel's shelf of spell books. "Now tell us where you live, and what time period you come from."
"I live at number 666 Waterloo Court in Brussels, in the year 1892."
"1892!" Snappy exclaimed. "I guess that explains those clothes."
"Yes," Gargamel said. "I used Father Time's Sands of Time to get me there after I used it to help me turn all of you rotten blue wretches into glittering gold!"
"So, Gargamel, you really did it," Nat said, his kindly face drawn with pity. "You finally got all the things you ever dreamed of. But at what cost?"
"Nothing I couldn't live with," Gargamel said smugly. "And quite comfortably too."
"Why, you wicked old meanie! You don't deserve that big house!" Smurfette cried.
"I deserve everything I had coming to me, and more!" Gargamel exclaimed. "I wasted the better part of my life chasing after you worthless blue baboons! Now, in my new time, my name has been vindicated! No longer am I a laughingstock, a starving failure for all the other trumped up witches and wizards to scoff at and mock! For, I alone possess not only the Sands of Time, but also the secret of the Philosopher's Stone! Ha ha!"
"Ah ha—I've found it!" Papa Smurf called from Gargamel's worktable.
"Keep a close eye on him," the Professor said to Slouchy, Snappy, Nat, and Sassette, casting a cold glare toward Gargamel before heading over to Papa Smurf.
Smurfette, Hefty, Handy, and Clumsy gathered around Papa Smurf as he ran his finger over the page.
"This Time-Smurfing Spell should get us to Gargamel's home in the future," Papa Smurf said. "I only hope the Gargamel of this time has all the ingredients on hand. Professor—could you check the shelves for me? The list of ingredients is right here."
"Sure thing, Papa Smurf," the disguised Smurf said, scanning through the list, then heading for the wizard's roughly made shelves to pick out the needed bottles and vials, and a heavy, cast-iron kettle in which to mix their contents together.
"Hey," Gargamel said, "Hey, what are you Smurfs doing over there? I can't see."
"You don't need to, Gargamel," Snappy said, blocking his view even more. "Papa and the Professor know what they're doing."
As Papa Smurf read out the spell, the Professor carefully measured out the ingredients and stirred the kettle.
"Just like old times, isn't it, Papa Smurf," he said with a grin.
"Uh, quite," Papa Smurf said with a slightly awkward chuckle. "Would you care to speak the chant, Professor?"
"I would count it an honor, Papa Smurf," the Professor said. "In fact—and you wouldn't know this, Papa Smurf—but I was voted Wizard of the Year by the Wizard's Association last year for my spell to—"
"Will you just smurf on with the spell already, Brainy," Snappy snapped. "You can tell Papa Smurf about your award after we've freed Father Time."
"Right, right, of course. As I always say, there's a time and a place for everything, and this certainly is not the time to—"
"Brainy!" his companions chorused.
The Professor giggled slightly, then cleared his throat, pulled back his sleeves, and read out the chant.
Instantly, the room around them began to swirl and warp, sending the motley group hurtling through space and time.
To Be Continued…
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"It is easy to pretend we are strong. It is much harder to admit we are weak. A true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses."
~Quotation from Brainy Smurf
http://www.etsy.com/shop/RowenaZahnreiCrafts?ref=si_shop
Posts: 239 | From: University | Registered: Oct 2011
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Rowena
Smurf
Member # 4018
Member Rated:
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posted 12-24-2011 08:44 AM
Part XIII
"I don't think I'll ever get used to this," Brainy complained, peering past his long legs to his shoes far below. "And this holosmurfic image, or whatever you call it, still doesn't look anything like me!"
"That's because I have to make the final adjustments," Handy said. "At least we know the Professor's perspective-shifting spell worked. If you hadn't smurfed it properly, the holosmurfic image would appear above you, but you'd be looking through its shoes, not its eyes."
"Of course the spell worked!" Brainy said pompously. "I may be just an assistant, Handy Smurf, but I am Papa Smurf's assistant, so you shouldn't be surprised that I know how to smurf magic. And furthermore—!"
"Good grief," Handy muttered. "I forgot what a pain in the butt you used to be."
The Smurflings giggled.
Brainy opened his mouth to protest, but Handy slipped the Guise from Brainy's wrist and the spectacled Smurf instantly shrank back to his normal size. Disoriented, Brainy straightened his glasses with a huff and climbed back up onto Handy's lab table.
"Oof," he panted once he reached the top, his heart thumping like a drum in his chest. "Oh, my Smurfs! This is ridiculous. I really have to remember to smurf myself in better condition when I get older."
"You and me both," Handy chuckled. "But don't worry, Professor, this time should smurf it."
"Hey, Handy. Why do you keep calling him 'Professor'?" Slouchy asked.
The four Smurflings lay sprawled in a bored cluster at the center of the lab table, waiting for Handy to finish with Brainy's Guise and get to theirs.
"Yeah," said Snappy, who was playing with a rubber band. "He's no professor. He's just Brainy."
The Smurflings giggled again.
Brainy shot them a scathing glare and sat up.
"Obviously," he said, "in the future, my natural genius and talents have finally gained the respect and appreciation of the Smurf community!"
"Well, actually, Brainy," Handy said, his attention focused on his tools, "the Smurflings have a point. It took the Professor a lot of years and a lot of hard work to get as far as he has. Our Professor earned every one of his credentials…usually the hard way, thanks to that insufferable arrogant streak of his… Still, every Smurf has his flaws. The Professor's really made an effort these past few centuries to learn how to put those natural gifts you talked about to good use, giving speeches at fundraisers and handling bureaucrats, rules and red tape. He's worked harder than anysmurf to make this university a reality. In fact, it took the pair of us nearly a full year of work to perfect these Guises. The perfect blend of technology and magic, he called them. There, that should smurf it."
Handy passed Brainy the Guise.
Brainy dangled his legs off the edge of the lab table and buckled the colored strap loosely around his wrist.
The mini holosmurfic imager surrounded the little Smurf with a flash of light, and when it faded, a slender, slightly stooped, intellectual-looking man sat in his place. His ears were thick and Smurf-like, a neatly trimmed beard mostly hid his small chin and rounded face, and he peeped out at the world through large, round glasses that seemed to magnify his blue eyes.
Brainy slid off the table and sidled up to the dusty mirror Handy kept propped against the wall.
"Great Smurfs!" he exclaimed, touching the lines around his mouth, the bags under his eyes. "Do I really look like that? Why, I look so...so old!"
"Well, you have crossed the big 500. But, don't look so upset. So have I," Handy said, turning him around to give him an appraising look.
"Hm. You'll pass for the Professor, I guess," he said. "But just remember, you've got a long way to go before you can fill his shoes, Brainy Smurf. And that goes for you Smurflings, too," the inventor warned. "If this little deception is going to work, you've all got a lot of growing up to do, and not a lot of time to do it in."
"Oh, come on, Handy. What's the big deal?" Snappy said. "You said yourself we can't just keep canceling classes. Besides, it's only until you can contact Father Time and get him to smurf us back home."
"Just tell us what to do, Handy," Sassette said. "If our grown-up selves can smurf these jobs, then so can we! After all, we are the same Smurfs, aren't we? We just look a little different."
Handy sighed and shook his head.
"Well, we'll see how the tour goes first," he said. "If you kids can make it around the campus without attracting attention, then I'll consider talking with the other Smurfs about letting you take on more responsibilities. Just remember – if the students get suspicious, they'll start asking questions. And that kind of curiosity is very dangerous for us, for our Village, and for every imp, sprite, dragon, pixie, wartmonger, ogre, and elf that smurfs shelter in our forest. So far, with a mixture of magic and common sense, we've managed to keep a tight handle on things, but there's always a danger that—"
A clattering crash rang out from the direction of the stairwell.
The Smurfs turned, just in time to see Clumsy stumble into the lab.
"Uh, oops! Sorry, Handy, I didn't mean to— Oh, wow!" he exclaimed, loping down the aisle to stare at the newly disguised Brainy. "Gosh, Professor, if I didn't know it wasn't really you, I'd swear it was really you!"
"Ah, Clumsy!" Handy said. "I'm glad you're back. I just finished the Prof—I mean, Brainy's Guise, and it'll take me another hour or so to finish with the Smurflings. Are you going to be free for a few hours?"
"Well, sure, Handy," Clumsy said.
"Oh, good. Why don't you take Brainy to the Professor's office and explain the Professor's duties to him?"
"But, wait," Brainy protested. "I wanted to smurf that campus tour too!"
"Gosh, that's no problem, Brainy," Clumsy said. "I'll smurf you a tour! You just come with me, and I'll show you the whole university!"
"Does that include the library?"
Clumsy smiled.
"Why, I'll smurf you there first, if you want."
Brainy grinned and clapped his lanky friend on the shoulder.
"You lead the way, Clumsy! Oh, and as for you Smurflings, don't forget that this is not our time and you all must be on your very best behavior because, as Handy said—"
"Aw, just go, Brainy," Snappy said.
"We'll be fine with Handy, Brainy," Nat said. "You don't have to worry about us."
Brainy cast the group a suspicious glance.
"Somehow, I smurf the feeling that I'm going to worry anyway…" he said.
Handy chuckled.
"Now you're sounding like the Professor," he said. "Go on with Clumsy, Brainy. I can handle the Smurflings."
Brainy hesitated a moment longer, as if unsure of his responsibilities. Then he nodded, and strode toward the stairs.
"Very well, Handy. They're all yours," he said. "Come on, Clumsy! I want to see that library!"
To Be Continued...
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Merry Christmas Eve!
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"It is easy to pretend we are strong. It is much harder to admit we are weak. A true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses."
~Quotation from Brainy Smurf
http://www.etsy.com/shop/RowenaZahnreiCrafts?ref=si_shop
Posts: 239 | From: University | Registered: Oct 2011
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Amy Sue Smurfette
Nurturer Smurf / The Odd Smurf
Member # 4050
Member Rated:
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posted 12-24-2011 08:55 AM
very smurfy, Rowena. Merry Christmas Eve to you too :-)
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we're all someone's little fangirl.
Posts: 903 | From: fah fah aweeey... | Registered: Oct 2011
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Uncle Gargy
Smurfling
Member # 4048
Member Rated:
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posted 12-24-2011 01:38 PM
I recognise that story, but good idea to put it up and instalments on here I suppose. Merry Xmas.
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Wizards don't give a 'bleep' about the laws of Thermodynamics!
Posts: 122 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2011
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Jokie Smurf
Jokie Smurf22 / Chloette / Elton John Smurf / My dog Padfoot
Member # 4119
Member Rated:
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posted 12-24-2011 04:08 PM
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
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When people say giving is better than receiving they are talking about me. Giving someone one of my exploding presents is WAY better than receiving one. ;)
Posts: 2871 | From: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Lazy Smurf
blue4ever
Member # 4138
Member Rated:
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posted 12-25-2011 01:21 PM
its Christmas!!!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS
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HELLO SMURFY WORLD!
(I'm blue4ever)
Posts: 157 | From: smurfs village | Registered: Dec 2011
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Rowena
Smurf
Member # 4018
Member Rated:
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posted 12-25-2011 04:08 PM
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYSMURF!!!
This is the last pre-written chapter I have ready. The next chapter will be completely new!
Part XIV
The steps to the library rose like a ziggurat from the shady stone path.
Brainy stared wide-eyed at the marble columns, the imposing facade, the book-shaped weather-vane that crowned the building's highest spire.
"It looks like a temple," the awed Smurf said. "A temple to books!"
Brainy's awe grew as he and Clumsy climbed past clusters of students reading, chatting, and talking into flat, plastic rectangles that they held to their ears.
"What are those things?" he asked Clumsy.
"What things? –Oh! Why, those are mobile phones!"
"Mobile phones?" Brainy squinted in confusion.
"Well, uh, yeah! You can use phones like that to talk to your friends anywhere in the world!"
"Amazing," Brainy said, with real wonder.
The little cluster of students whose phones he was admiring noticed they were being stared at. They looked up.
"Oh, hi, Professor!"
"Hey, Professor! That essay's due on Thursday, right?"
The group looked at him expectantly.
Brainy cleared his throat. He had no idea what they were talking about, but he felt pressured to make some kind of response.
"The...uh...the essay? Yes, yes. Er, Thursday would be fine. Or, um, you know...whenever you're ready."
The students shared a startled glance.
"You feeling OK, Professor?"
Brainy smiled awkwardly.
"I'm blowing this, aren't I," he whispered to Clumsy through his teeth.
"Tell them that, as college students, they should be responsible enough to know when their assignments are due," Clumsy whispered back. "Say 'punctuality plus responsibility equals employability.'"
"Employability? But-"
"It's something the Professor always says!"
Brainy made a face, but even though he was skeptical, he did as Clumsy suggested.
It seemed to be what was expected. The students' concerned looks faded, and a few laughed.
"Right, Professor!"
"Well, see you, kids," Clumsy said. "Enjoy the sunshine!"
That little encounter with the students had shaken Brainy's confidence. He felt a strong urge to run, as if every human on the broad stairway could suddenly see straight through his Guise to the terrified little Smurf inside. He grabbed Clumsy's arm and practically dragged him across the wide landing to the sliding doors. But, if he'd hoped to find an escape, he soon discovered there were even more humans inside the building than outside!
"Clumsy..." he winced, fighting to control a surge of panic as they strode past the library's security system, the circulation desk, a crowded cafeteria, and a huge bay of computers, all of them occupied by busy, bustling students.
Brainy felt overwhelmed – he had never seen so many humans in one place before.
"Oh..." he groaned.
Pulling his friend into an empty alcove, he hissed, "Clumsy, I don't think I can do this! There's too many of them! Besides, you saw what happened out on those stairs! If those humans don't believe I'm really the Professor, they'll start asking questions like Handy said, and then-"
"Don't worry, Brainy," Clumsy said. "Think of it like this. As far as they all know, you're a human too – just like them!"
"But-"
"It's all in the attitude," Clumsy said. "It's like you always say, act confident and they won't have any reason to suspect how nervous you really are. In fact, you might even convince yourself."
"I said that?" Brainy asked.
Clumsy smiled.
"Yep! You've said that to me lots of times!"
"And, does it really work?"
"Why don't you tell me?"
Clumsy nodded toward a pair of doors that led to a curving staircase.
"Ready to start the tour?"
Brainy swallowed hard, but he straightened his glasses, and his posture.
"Lead on, Clumsy," he said. "Take me to the books!"
*******
"And, this is the music department," Handy said, leading the four disguised Smurflings past a line of heavy wooden doors.
The ivy-covered stone building they belonged to looked old and imposing, as if it had grown out of the ground.
"Can we see where they keep the instruments?" Slouchy asked.
"Well, I'm not sure if we have time to go in. Not if you want to see the Athletic Center and-"
"Aw, c'mon, Handy," Snappy said. "Just a quick peek?"
"Well..."
The Smurflings took his hesitation as consent.
"Smurfaroo!" they cheered, and burst through the doors into a long, carpeted corridor.
Handy chased after them, urging them to slow down and keep quiet. But he was too late. The Smurflings had found an open practice room and were already claiming instruments.
"And a-one, and a-two, and a-," Slouchy said.
As the Smurflings broke into their jazzed-up version of the classic Smurf song, Handy cradled his head in his hands. Keeping these kids from attracting suspicion was going to take a lot more than a few Guises. He could only wonder how Brainy was getting on...
*******
"Great Smurfs, Clumsy! Are you saying all these books are mine? This whole huge shelf?"
"This is the section where we keep all the books by our university's published authors," Clumsy said. "But yeah, most of them are yours. Well, uh, the Professor's. See—all his books are here, under B.S."
"B.S.? Oh—of course! B.S. stands for Brainy Smurf! How very fitting!"
"That's what Hefty said!" Clumsy said. "But I should tell you, Brainy, we generally don't use our real names when we're wearing our Guises. Instead-"
"Brian! Brian, there you are! I went to your office a while ago, but your secretary said she hadn't seen you."
A balding, heavy-set man strode up to the disguised Smurfs, and clapped Brainy on the shoulder.
"Wha-?"
"Oh, uh, look!" Clumsy said quickly. "It's Professor McKenny! Uh, how are you, Patrick?"
"Fine, Clem. Just fine. Actually, I was hoping to talk with Brian, here, about tomorrow's postgraduate seminar. If you have a minute, Professor...?"
Brainy turned a desperate look to Clumsy.
"Uh, gosh, Pat," Clumsy said. "Actually, the Professor and I are late for a meeting, so-"
"Oh, no bother if you're busy," McKenny said. "I'll just pop you an e-mail later on. See you at the seminar, Bri."
The man strode off, and Brainy breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh my Smurfness," he said, pressing a hand over his thumping heart. "If I keep freezing like that every time some strange human smurfs up to me, they'll figure out I'm not who I'm supposed to be in no time! And what was all that 'Brian' business? Who's Brian? And what's an e-mail? Oh, Clumsy, there's so much I don't know about this place, these people... What can I do?"
"Well..."
"If only I had a book...something I could read and study, that would tell me all about the university, its history, its faculty, how it operates..."
"Oh, gosh, Brainy! We've got something just like that!" Clumsy exclaimed.
"You do? Well, where is it? Can I read it?''
"Uh, sure, Brainy! In fact, you can read it right in your office. Come on, I'll show you!"
Brainy followed Clumsy out of the crowded library and past the student union to the main administration building, where the Professor's office took up most of the top floor.
The Professor's secretary—whose name was Ayn Kaminsky judging from the nameplate on her desk—stood up when they walked through the glass doors to the outer office, a pile of mail in her hands, but Clumsy shook his head.
"Sorry, Ayn, but the Professor doesn't have time for that stuff right now."
"But, Professor, Dr. McKenny came by looking for you-"
"We met him in the library. Everything's all set," Clumsy assured her, herding Brainy into his office. "No calls, no meetings, OK? Sorry, Ayn, but it's really important that the Professor not be disturbed," he said, and shut the door.
"Whew!"
Clumsy wiped a hand across his brow and loped over to the Professor's computer, shaking the mouse to wake it up.
"That was really close. Ayn's been the Professor's secretary for years and years. If anyone would figure out you're not you, it would be her!"
He leaned over the keyboard and, using only one finger, began to type. Brainy sidled behind him to look over his shoulder.
"Here we go, Brainy," he said. "This is the University's main website."
"Website?"
Brainy's tongue stumbled slightly on the unfamiliar word.
"Yeah," Clumsy said. "It'll tell you everything you want to know about the university and all the people who work here. Now, you just sit down and take as long as you want. An' if you've got any questions, I'll be right here!"
Clumsy sank down onto the Professor's plush couch and put his feet up on the armrest.
Brainy sat down in the Professor's swivel chair and began to read.
"Uh...one more thing, Clumsy," he said.
"Yeah, Brainy?"
"What's a seminar?"
Clumsy shook his head and smiled.
All his life, more than five hundred years, Brainy had been the knowledgeable one, always giving advice. Now, for the first time, the shoe was on the other foot. Clumsy found it was a wonderful feeling to be needed like this, and to be able to help.
"Well, a seminar's sort of like a lecture, only lots of different people talk and share their research and ideas. You're gonna be expected to show up at lots of these seminars, and to give lectures too."
"What will I have to do?" Brainy asked.
"Well...just what you've always done, really. Talk!" Clumsy said. "You stand up in front of the students for about an hour and talk about some subject or other, and they write down what you say."
Brainy tilted his head.
"You mean, I give a speech, and the students actually come to listen?"
Clumsy laughed.
"They don't just come to listen," he said. "They come to learn. That's why they pay tuition!"
"Wait... Are you saying these humans pay to listen to me talk?"
Clumsy chuckled.
"Yup!"
Brainy sat back in his chair.
"Amazing," he said, a slow grin creeping across his features. "All those young minds, eager for information...and they're mine to mold..."
"It's a lot of work, Brainy," Clumsy warned, not quite liking that gleam in his friend's eyes. "You've really got to know your stuff. And it's more than just the lectures. There's essays and papers and presentations and grades and advising and recommendations, and then there's all the administrative stuff you have to do, like organizing conferences and finding funding and-"
"Details, Clumsy. Mere details!" Brainy said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I want you to tell me more about these lectures."
He chuckled.
"I'm getting the feeling I might just get to like it here after all!"
To Be Continued...
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"It is easy to pretend we are strong. It is much harder to admit we are weak. A true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses."
~Quotation from Brainy Smurf
http://www.etsy.com/shop/RowenaZahnreiCrafts?ref=si_shop
Posts: 239 | From: University | Registered: Oct 2011
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Amy Sue Smurfette
Nurturer Smurf / The Odd Smurf
Member # 4050
Member Rated:
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posted 12-25-2011 04:27 PM
lol Brainy is starting to enjoy this :-)
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we're all someone's little fangirl.
Posts: 903 | From: fah fah aweeey... | Registered: Oct 2011
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Jokie Smurf
Jokie Smurf22 / Chloette / Elton John Smurf / My dog Padfoot
Member # 4119
Member Rated:
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posted 12-25-2011 06:21 PM
Yeah Nurturer! This is really good so far Rowena.
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When people say giving is better than receiving they are talking about me. Giving someone one of my exploding presents is WAY better than receiving one. ;)
Posts: 2871 | From: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Lazy Smurf
blue4ever
Member # 4138
Member Rated:
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posted 12-26-2011 12:09 PM
the perfect place for brainy... or is it?
bum bum bummmm
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HELLO SMURFY WORLD!
(I'm blue4ever)
Posts: 157 | From: smurfs village | Registered: Dec 2011
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Rowena
Smurf
Member # 4018
Member Rated:
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posted 12-30-2011 11:57 PM
Ta da! Hot off the presses, it's a brand new chapter! Time to find out what's going on with Gargamel. Hope you enjoy it!
Part XV
“No, no, no!” Gargamel yelled. “I told you worthless morons I wanted a feast! Is this what you call a feast? Twelve measly platters of food?”
The stooped little man waved an arm to indicate the stacks of fresh, warm bread and newly churned butter, the mountains of potatoes—baked, roasted, and mashed—the heaps of steaming vegetables, the two whole poached salmon stuffed with lemon and herbs, and the four juicy, succulent roasts (chicken, duck, pork, and beef) that crowded the polished dining table.
“If you please, Great Wizard,” Tim the butler simpered, “there is more food prepared here than any one man could hope to eat on his own--”
“But, I'm not on my own, am I?” Gargamel snapped. “There's also Azrael to consider.”
“Mreah!” said the scruffy cat.
“Very well, Greatness,” the butler said, and bowed. “Then, shall I order your cook to prepare a third salmon?”
“Yes, do that,” Gargamel said. “And while he's at it, tell him to make another roast. Venison this time, I think. Oh--and bring more potatoes! And candied carrots! I never did like turnips. Yech!”
Gargamel tucked his cloth napkin into his pressed white collar and rubbed his hands together over his porcelain plate.
The butler swallowed nervously.
“But...but, your Wizardlyness...” he said, “to do that, we would have to dip into our winter stores, and--”
“How is that my problem?” Gargamel said.
The butler cringed.
“Well, I...”
“Am I not the greatest wizard in Europe?” Gargamel snapped. “Am I not entitled to the best food, the best wine, the best service my glittering gold can buy?”
“Yes... Of course, your Greatness.”
“Then go! Do as I say, before you find yourself looking for a new employer!”
“Sir.”
The skinny butler bowed low and scurried from the dining room.
Gargamel cackled and tore a chunk off of a loaf of bread.
“Ah, this is the life we deserve, Azrael,” he said, slathering the bread with butter, then topping it with a hunk of chicken. He wiped his greasy fingers on another chunk of bread, then stuffed it in his mouth.
Azrael glanced up from his investigation of the nearest salmon and licked his chops.
“Mrey mrow!”
“No more scrounging through the forest scraping for the merest sustenance. No more ridicule from those idiotic, close-minded peasants in the town. And best of all, Azrael—no more Smurfs!”
“Mreaw!”
“Somehow, some way, it seems the Fates have finally gotten it right. I don't know how that blasted sand got us here, Azrael, but I do know that I don't intend to let a single morsel of this excellent food go to waste. From this day forward, we eat like kings!”
He raised a jeweled goblet.
“To me!” he cried. “The most fortunate wizard in all the world!”
*******
A wizard, a cat, and ten Smurfs tumbled out of the swirling vortex and landed in a groaning pile on the cold, stone floor.
Gargamel and his elderly cat pulled themselves to their feet with a loud creaking of joints, shot through with irritable yowls and muttered profanities.
“Blast it all,” the aging wizard snarled. “I should have known better than to go along with this. Where the blazes have you rotten Smurfs landed us?”
“You mean, you don't know?” Sassette said. “I thought that time-smurfing spell was supposed to smurf us straight to your house in the future!”
“Well, if it did, it's brought us to some freezing root cellar,” Gargamel grumbled, squinting through the dimness at the sacks and barrels that lined the curving, cave-like walls. “Where are the blasted stairs?”
“And what's up with our Guises?” Snappy said. “We had them set to look human before that vortex thing smurfed us here. Now we look...well, like us.”
“They've reset to default once again,” the Professor said, tapping his Guise. “It must be the interference from all that temporal energy. They should still be in working order, but I'll have to remember to bring this up with Handy, next time I see him.”
Handy Smurf glanced at the bearded professor, but didn't say anything. Instead, he wandered over to a somewhat less-dim corner and tilted his head curiously. He could just make out a curving flight of stone stairs. At the top, a thin line of light outlined what seemed to be a heavy, wooden door. And beyond that...
“Um, excuse me,” he said, “but does anysmurf hear voices?”
“Voices?” Smurfette said. She had been running her fingers through her long hair, trying to untangle some of the snarls the wind in the vortex had caused, but now she strode over to Handy and cupped a hand to her ear.
“Why, yes,” she said. “Someone is talking in the room above us. It sounds like...”
“It sounds like Gargamel,” Hefty said gruffly. “And, judging from all that cackling, he seems to be in a pretty good mood.”
The Smurfs turned a glare on the aging wizard.
The graying Gargamel scowled down at them.
“Well, of course he'd be in a good mood,” he snarled. “If that is my conniving counterpart up there, he must think he's made it to the top of the world. Not only has he captured your precious Father Time, he's probably been ordering around my servants and gobbling up my food! Just let me at him, and I'll teach that gluttonous ingrate to stuff his face at my expense!”
“Your expense!” Sassette exclaimed. “You can talk, you wicked wizard! You killed and you stole to get your wealth. Everything you have, you owe to us Smurfs!”
“Shut your face, you little blue troll,” the elder Gargamel growled. “You're in my time now, and in my house. If you want my help releasing your dear friend Father Time, you had better start showing me some respect, or I might just have a change of heart and tell my servants to render the lot of you down into decorative little bars of blue soap!”
The Smurfs glanced at each other and shuddered.
“Eeeewww!”
“Not a very nice picture, is it,” Gargamel said. “So, what do you say?”
Sassette pursed her lips, then met Papa Smurf's eyes. She sighed.
“Oh, all right. I'm sorry I was rude,” she said, though her expression was anything but apologetic. “Will you help us?”
Gargamel smirked.
“Come along, Azrael,” he said, and tramped arthritically up the stairs. “It's time we showed this time-swapped imposter who's the real master of this house!”
“Uh, gosh,” said Clumsy. “Uh, does that mean he is gonna help us?”
“It means he plans only to help himself, Clumsy,” the Professor said. “I never did trust that scheming wizard. If we're to find Father Time, we'll have to do it ourselves.”
“We set our Guises to human, then?” said Snappy.
The Professor nodded.
“That would be the prudent course of action.”
“Hey, what about us?” said Hefty, gesturing to Handy, Clumsy, Smurfette, and Papa Smurf. “We don't have Guises.”
“All the better,” the Professor said. “While we use our Guises to distract the two Gargamels and their servants, you can take advantage of your smurfy stature to search for Father Time, unseen.”
“A very good idea, Professor,” Papa Smurf said.
The Professor practically glowed at the praise from his mentor.
Nat shook his head, and set his Guise.
“I'll try to keep the two Azraels busy,” the blond man said. “Is everysmurf ready?”
“Ready,” his companions said.
The Professor, Snappy, Slouchy, and Sassette set their Guises and gently carried the rest of the Smurfs up the steep stairs.
They set them down on the smooth flagstones that covered the floor of the cavernous dining room.
While Papa and his little Smurfs scurried off to find the wine cellar, the five disguised Smurfs headed for the loaded table, where the two Gargamels were already in the middle of a shouting match that seemed on the verge of coming to blows.
The disguised Smurfs rushed to break up the fight, but stopped in their tracks when they heard the sharp, distinctive click of a gun being cocked behind them. Then, they heard another, and another, and another.
The two Gargamels stopped their fighting and began to laugh.
The disguised Smurfs glanced over their shoulders to see the elder Gargamel's servants standing in a threatening row, each with a pistol pointed in their direction. They shared an uncomfortable look.
“Somehow, I get the feeling we've been double-crossed,” the Professor said wryly.
“You said a mouthful,” Slouchy said with a scowl.
“You really don't need those guns,” Nat told the servants. “We're not going anywhere.”
“That's where you're wrong, you contemptible blue pretender,” the elder Gargamel said. “You wanted me to take you to your precious Father Time, didn't you? Well, now you can join him—as my prisoners! Take them away. Oh,” the graying wizard said, taking his seat at the head of the table, “and take this sniveling imposter too.”
“What!” the younger Gargamel exclaimed. “But—but--but you--! You're me! How could you lock me up with those vile, odious, miserable little--”
“I told you before, Gargamel, when you first blew into my sitting room in a flurry of wind and sand. This world isn't big enough for two Gargamels. And since I'm the one who imprisoned Father Time and turned the Smurfs into gold, it's only fitting that I'm the one who gets to reap the benefits! Tie him up,” he ordered the stern-faced servants. “Tie them all up! I'll be down to check on them later. After I've finished this feast!”
*******
“This has to be where he's stashed Father Time, Papa Smurf,” Handy said. “It's the only door that's sealed air-tight.”
“You're probably right, Handy,” Papa Smurf said, his eyes darting around the crowded kitchen at the busy cooks and cleaning staff. “But, since it is air-tight, we can't squeeze under the door. We'll have to wait for one of these humans to open it, then follow him inside.”
“How long will that take, Papa Smurf?” asked Clumsy.
“Not long at all. Look!” Smurfette said, pointing to a tall man in a black suit who unlocked the door and slipped inside.
The Smurfs shared a quick glance, then followed him through the door and down the stairs.
Rows and stacks and columns of bottles lined the walls, casting eerie shadows in the dimness. The air was chilly and thick with dust.
As the Smurfs watched, huddled in the shadows, the tall man lit a lantern, chose a bottle, and jogged back up the stairs. Fortunately for the Smurfs, he left the lantern lit and the door open.
“Well, this looks like a wine cellar, all right,” Hefty whispered. “But, where's Father Time?”
“Shh,” said Handy. “What's that?”
A clamor of footsteps echoed on the stairs, and soon the small space was filled with black-suited men pointing black-metal pistols at Gargamel, Azrael, the Professor, and his companions. All of them, except for Azrael, had their hands tied behind their backs.
“You—you can't do this to me!” Gargamel stammered. “I'm much to young to die! Oh, Mummy! Mummy!”
“Smurf up, Gargamel!” Snappy snapped. “They're not going to kill us. Are they?”
One of the black-suited men strode up to the shelf of wine bottles that lined the far wall and pushed three of the less-dusty bottles further into their slots.
There was a low rumbling and the wall swung aside like a giant door, shelf and all.
Beyond it, the Smurfs could see a small, furnished room crammed with a rug, two armchairs, a low, round table, a bookshelf, a tall grandfather clock, and a fireplace.
The gun-wielding men prodded their prisoners into the cramped room and untied their bonds.
The hidden Smurfs hesitated a moment, then followed them in.
“Master Gargamel's compliments: You shall each receive two meals a day, plus coal for the fire,” said the man who'd opened the secret door. “Enjoy your stay.”
“Hey, wait!” Slouchy cried, trying to head the man off before he and his companions could leave. “Just how long does your 'Master Gargamel' expect to keep us here?”
The man looked at him coolly, then turned on his heel and marched back up the stairs. The rest of the men followed with military-like precision.
Snappy started after them, but the wall slid back into place with alarming speed and force, causing him to stumble back onto the rug.
“Great,” Slouchy groaned. “This is just great!”
“Calm down, Slouchy,” said Nat.
“Calm down!” Slouchy exclaimed. “Calm down! How do you expect me to calm down when I'm stuck in this tiny cell of a room—with him!”
He glared at Gargamel.
“Why you--” Gargamel growled.
Azrael arched his back and hissed.
“OK, stop it right there, you guys,” Sassette said. “This place is way too small for fighting.”
“It's way to small for breathing, if you ask me,” Snappy said, and crossed his arms.
“But, Sassette,” Slouchy protested. “This sleaze--”
“Look, if you fight, we'll all get hurt, and how will that help us get home, huh?” Sassette said. “If you boys want something to do, try concentrating on figuring out a way to find Father Time! 'Cause, the sooner we find him, the sooner we'll all be out of each other's hair.”
Slouchy, Azrael, and Gargamel glared for a long, lingering moment, then slowly backed down.
Azrael jumped to the top of the book case and curled up into a sly ball with sharp, surveying eyes.
“Hmph,” Snappy grunted, shooting him a suspicious look. “So, where is Father Time, anyway? Weren't those pistol-packing mercenaries supposed to take us to him? And where's Papa Smurf and the other Smurfs from the past?”
“Uh, gee,” said Clumsy, as he and his companions stepped out onto the rug. “I thought we were the Smurfs from the present!”
“Oh, terrific!” Snappy groaned. “So, we're all trapped in here! And we still haven't found the one guy we came here for!”
“Erm, actually, Snappy, I don't think that's quite accurate.”
“What do you mean, Professor?” asked Nat.
“Look here, at this clock,” the Professor said, stepping back to give the others room. “Its shape and form. Doesn't it remind you of...”
“Great Smurfs,” Handy said. “I don't believe it! Surely even Gargamel's not capable of...of...”
“Of what?” the younger Gargamel demanded. “What's wrong with this clock?”
“Can't you see it, Gargamel?” the Professor said, his bearded face drawn and pale.
“See what! What are you misguided morons blathering about?”
“I believe...” Papa Smurf said, his voice choked and hoarse. “I believe that this clock was once our dear friend Father Time.”
“Wailing woodpeckers!” Sassette cried. “But, if that's true, then can't you change him back?”
“This isn't an ordinary transfiguration spell, Sassette,” the Professor said. “Don't you see? That dirty, double-dealing excuse for a wizard has smurfed a living man into an inanimate object—effectively rendering him non-living! Putting us in the same room with this clock is clearly that villain's way of taunting us. After all, while it is relatively simple to enact the spell to take life, it is next to impossible to smurf life back into a lifeless object, even for the most talented and experienced of wizards!”
“But surely, Professor, if you and Pappy Smurf work together...”
Sassette looked at them both with wide, hopeful eyes.
The Professor and Papa Smurf both seemed to shrink into themselves.
“Without my lab--/Without my books--” they chorused, then shared a meaningful glance.
“We can try, Sassette,” Papa Smurf said, but he didn't sound very hopeful. “We can only try.”
To Be Continued...
![[Gargamel]](graemlins/gargamel.gif) ![[Azrael]](graemlins/azrael.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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"It is easy to pretend we are strong. It is much harder to admit we are weak. A true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses."
~Quotation from Brainy Smurf
http://www.etsy.com/shop/RowenaZahnreiCrafts?ref=si_shop
Posts: 239 | From: University | Registered: Oct 2011
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Amy Sue Smurfette
Nurturer Smurf / The Odd Smurf
Member # 4050
Member Rated:
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posted 12-31-2011 06:09 PM
Happy New Year Rowena, and to everyone :-)
Poor Father Time!!!
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we're all someone's little fangirl.
Posts: 903 | From: fah fah aweeey... | Registered: Oct 2011
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Sportette
Bakette
Member # 4102
Member Rated:
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posted 12-31-2011 09:21 PM
happy new year!!!! my grandmas out of the hospital horray!!!
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Seether karma and effect
Posts: 2007 | From: Buffalo,NY | Registered: Nov 2011
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Amy Sue Smurfette
Nurturer Smurf / The Odd Smurf
Member # 4050
Member Rated:
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posted 01-01-2012 07:41 AM
smurftastic news about your grandma, sportette
;-) i hope she's okay now.
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we're all someone's little fangirl.
Posts: 903 | From: fah fah aweeey... | Registered: Oct 2011
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Sportette
Bakette
Member # 4102
Member Rated:
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posted 01-01-2012 08:20 AM
well she can now speak in full sentances horray and she had a stroke by the way
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Seether karma and effect
Posts: 2007 | From: Buffalo,NY | Registered: Nov 2011
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Jokie Smurf
Jokie Smurf22 / Chloette / Elton John Smurf / My dog Padfoot
Member # 4119
Member Rated:
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posted 01-01-2012 09:43 AM
I heard about her stroke. Good to hear she's out of the hospital. Happy New Year Sportette.
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When people say giving is better than receiving they are talking about me. Giving someone one of my exploding presents is WAY better than receiving one. ;)
Posts: 2871 | From: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Sportette
Bakette
Member # 4102
Member Rated:
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posted 01-01-2012 10:01 AM
well shes in the hospital because she had amniesa but we are visiting her tommarow she will be out of the hospital in two days
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Seether karma and effect
Posts: 2007 | From: Buffalo,NY | Registered: Nov 2011
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Rowena
Smurf
Member # 4018
Member Rated:
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posted 01-14-2012 09:37 AM
Oh my... I'm sorry to hear your grandma has been in the hospital, Sportette. I hope she's doing much better now!
I'm afraid I won't have enough time to finish the next chapter for this story before I have to fly back to the UK. Once I'm back there, I'll be spending about two weeks on a research trip, and then classes will start, so I won't really be able to write any more for my stories until about mid-February. I'll do my best to finish the next chapter for this story by the end of February.
Until then, thanks for reading, and for your patience with me!
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"It is easy to pretend we are strong. It is much harder to admit we are weak. A true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses."
~Quotation from Brainy Smurf
http://www.etsy.com/shop/RowenaZahnreiCrafts?ref=si_shop
Posts: 239 | From: University | Registered: Oct 2011
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Jokie Smurf
Jokie Smurf22 / Chloette / Elton John Smurf / My dog Padfoot
Member # 4119
Member Rated:
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posted 01-14-2012 09:42 AM
I hope your grandma is feeling better.
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When people say giving is better than receiving they are talking about me. Giving someone one of my exploding presents is WAY better than receiving one. ;)
Posts: 2871 | From: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Amy Sue Smurfette
Nurturer Smurf / The Odd Smurf
Member # 4050
Member Rated:
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posted 01-14-2012 09:50 PM
safe travels, Rowena!
what will you be researching on your research trip?
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we're all someone's little fangirl.
Posts: 903 | From: fah fah aweeey... | Registered: Oct 2011
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Rowena
Smurf
Member # 4018
Member Rated:
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posted 01-15-2012 06:01 AM
quote:
safe travels, Rowena!
what will you be researching on your research trip?
Time. I study how the Industrial Revolution changed the way people used, divided, and experienced time. ![[Happy Smurf]](graemlins/Happy_Smurf.gif)
I'm leaving on Thursday, and after I land I'm going to be traveling all around England, from London to Yorkshire, looking through archives and libraries and museums. I hope, after this trip, I'll have enough primary sources stacked up so I can start working on a rough draft for my thesis.
Thanks for the well wishes! I love airplanes, and I love studying in the UK, but I hate having to be away from my family and my puppy dog until summer. *sniffle*
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"It is easy to pretend we are strong. It is much harder to admit we are weak. A true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses."
~Quotation from Brainy Smurf
http://www.etsy.com/shop/RowenaZahnreiCrafts?ref=si_shop
Posts: 239 | From: University | Registered: Oct 2011
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Amy Sue Smurfette
Nurturer Smurf / The Odd Smurf
Member # 4050
Member Rated:
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posted 01-15-2012 12:06 PM
that sounds like an interesting study, and an incredibly smurfy adventure. i hope you'll tell us all about it too :-)
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we're all someone's little fangirl.
Posts: 903 | From: fah fah aweeey... | Registered: Oct 2011
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![[King Smurf]](graemlins/King_Smurf.gif)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 
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