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Author
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Topic: "Smurfnip Madness" -- the full story
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-23-2021 01:54 AM
This is one of my fanfiction stories from my website. Note that I DO NOT endorse or encourage the use of recreational substances.
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Chapter 1
It was the day of Lazy's birthday during the second year that Empath was completely free from living in Psychelia, and most of the Smurfs were busy preparing for his birthday party, even though some of them didn't like having to prepare anything for a Smurf that normally didn't pull his own weight. Nevertheless, they knew how important celebrating a Smurf's birthday was in their culture regardless of who that Smurf was, so they also chipped in to make sure the day would be special for Lazy.
Empath was with Smurfette and Polaris Psyche observing all the activities that went on in the preparation for Lazy's birthday when they noticed Lazy himself was just sleeping, paying no attention to anything that was going on around him.
"I wonder what Lazy is dreaming about right now for his smurfday party, Empath," Smurfette said as she looked at Lazy peacefully sleeping.
"Knowing him, it's probably a smurfday party where everybody is high on smurfnip and the cake they're serving has relaxing herbs mixed in it," Empath said.
"This one does not understand Lazy's fascination with an herb that has intoxicating and hallucinogenic properties to it, Empath," Polaris said.
"Smurfnip is a special kind of flower that makes Smurfs feel good when they smoke or ingest it, Polaris," Empath said. "That's part of the appeal, while the hallucinations that it produces is the other part that makes Smurfs like Lazy feel addicted to it."
"I wish Lazy wouldn't always be thinking of smurfing herbs, Empath, especially smurfnip," Smurfette said with a hint of distaste in her voice.
"This smurf wishes the same thing for him as well, Smurfette," Empath said. "Unfortunately, breaking the addiction to smurfnip is something that he has to have the desire for in himself. Nobody can force Lazy to give up the smurfnip if he's not interested in giving it up for anything in the world."
"If only it were the case that addictions would be so easy to break, Empath," Polaris said. "There are times when this one still has the cravings for the medication that the Psyche Master has put all Psyches on to make them obedient to his will of not expressing emotions."
"I wouldn't think that the Psyche Master would ever have the Psyches smurf anything to make them obedient to him," Smurfette said.
"It is called psychelium, Smurfette," Empath said. "This smurf remembers what it's like to be on the medication, because it made this smurf feel like a zombie. All this smurf could feel was the sensation of full clarity as this smurf was unable to express any kind of emotion. It was supposed to help Psyches suppress their desire to express emotions, but honestly it made this smurf feel like a drug addict."
"Oh dear," Smurfette said. "How did you manage to smurf this medication's hold on you?"
"Eventually over the years, as this smurf became more accustomed to expressing emotions with my fellow Smurfs, the effects of psychelium started to weaken, and the Psyche Master was trying to increase its potency without trying to kill this smurf in order to make it effective again, but to no avail," Empath said. "Nevertheless, there were times when this smurf felt as if this smurf needed the psychelium to make this smurf feel stable even among my fellow Smurfs."
"That's terrible, Empath," Smurfette said. "It's a good thing that you don't seem to have any need for it now that you're free from living in Psychelia."
"This smurf is still working with Polaris to help break the psychelium's addictive hold on his life, even if he still wants to maintain not wanting to express any emotion in his daily life, Smurfette," Empath said.
"What Empath says is correct, Smurfette," Polaris said. "As painful as some things about living in Psychelia are, this one cannot easily give up the desire to live such a life devoted to rational thinking and logic over emotion."
"I just want you to know, Polaris, that I still care for you as a friend, and if you need my help for anything, I will see what I can smurf for you," Smurfette said, smiling.
Suddenly the three of them could hear the sound of a dog moaning in pain. "Great Ancestors, that sounds like Puppy," Empath said. "And whatever he's experiencing, it doesn't sound good."
Soon they saw Puppy limping to the Smurf Village with his eyes green and half-closed, barely able to make his way home. "Oh dear, what has happened to him?" Smurfette asked, her heart going out to him.
Empath and Polaris both scanned him with their minds-eye. "He has been affected by an intoxicating substance, Smurfette," Empath said as he finished his scan. "He has been breathing in the fumes of smurfnip."
"Smurfnip?" Smurfette said. "I wouldn't think smurfnip would have any effect on dogs."
"This intoxicating substance must be potent enough to make Puppy feel sick, Smurfette," Polaris said. "It will have to take our combined efforts to clear up the effects so that he will be functioning normally again."
"Polaris is correct, Smurfette," Empath said. "Don't worry, Puppy, you'll soon be feeling much better."
And so both Empath and Polaris focused their minds-eyes on healing Puppy of the effects of the smurfnip he inhaled. Soon Puppy was more alert and feeling better again. He licked both Empath and Polaris to show his gratitude.
"The Smurflings should have been smurfing over Puppy to make sure something like this doesn't happen," Smurfette said. "How could they be so careless?"
"This smurf senses that the Smurflings may have caused Puppy to become sick through the inhaling of smurfnip, Smurfette," Empath said. "Puppy, can you take us to where the Smurflings are right now?"
Puppy barked out an answer that sounded like he was reluctant to go back to where he inhaled the fumes, but was willing to help find the Smurflings.
"We might as well follow Puppy and find out the reason for the Smurflings' negligence in their care of the animal, Empath," Polaris said.
"I don't think I'm going to like what I will see the Smurflings are smurfing right now, Empath," Smurfette said as he followed along with Empath and Polaris as they let Puppy lead the way into the forest.
Soon they stopped as Puppy's nose picked up a scent that made him growl. Empath, Smurfette, and Polaris could also smell the scent...a scent that Empath and Smurfette could recognize. "It's smurfnip," they both said together.
"Could the Smurflings be the ones who are inhaling the smurfnip, and for what purpose would they do such a thing?" Polaris asked.
"This smurf is going to find out one way or another," Empath said with some restrained anger in his voice as he projected a shield around himself and Smurfette so they could proceed closer without inhaling. Only Polaris stayed behind with Puppy, not wanting to proceed any further without endangering themselves.
The two Smurfs could hear giggling nearby, and as they looked on the other side of a rock they saw the Smurflings were just sitting together with each other, inhaling the fumes of smurfnip and enjoying themselves.
"Seafaring seagulls, that was the best feeling I have ever smurfed," Sassette said.
"We should smurf this more often when the other Smurfs aren't smurfing over our shoulder," Snappy said, blowing out a cloud of smoke.
"I don't understand why most of the grown-up Smurfs don't want to smurf this stuff, Snap," Slouchy said. "I don't see what harm any of this can smurf."
"Maybe we can have Empath and his friend Polaris join us for a smurf," Nat suggested.
"Aha! So that's what you were smurfing out in the forest by yourselves!" Smurfette exclaimed, catching the attention of the Smurflings.
"Well, smurf at what just came here...it's Smurfette," Snappy said as he turned to see her.
"My oh my, she's starting to smurf much better than before now," Slouchy said as he looked at her up and down.
"It must be the smurfnip that's causing it, Slouchy," Nat said.
"Hi, Empath...you want to join us for a smurf?" Sassette asked politely.
"This smurf is not interested in anything except knowing why the four of you disobeyed Papa Smurf's instructions not to touch smurfnip and had almost endangered Puppy with your fume smoking," Empath said.
"Aw, we didn't mean to hurt Puppy, Empath," Snappy said. "He just got a little sick, that's all. Besides, you can instantly heal him, can't you?"
"Honestly, Empath, none of us ever meant to hurt Puppy," Nat said. "We just wanted to try this out for ourselves, to see why Papa Smurf didn't want us to smurf this."
"All four of you are a little too young to be smurfing this habit anyway," Smurfette said. "Let's get this fire smurfed out so that nobody else will be smurfing in this smoke."
"Here, let this smurf put out the flames," Empath said, using his minds-eye to cause the fire to be snuffed out along with the green fumes it was producing.
"Oh, that's just great, Empath," Snappy said. "You really ruined our fun out here."
"Disobeying Papa Smurf's instructions just so you can have fun inhaling smoke like this is not what this smurf will allow any of you to do, Snappy," Empath said. "This smurf wants the four of you to follow this smurf back to the village where you will explain to Papa Smurf what you have been doing here."
All four of the Smurflings gulped. "Yes, Empath," they said together.
Papa Smurf looked at the four Smurflings, who looked rather ashamed of being caught getting intoxicated with an illegal substance. "Because you have disobeyed my instructions, I am restricting you from smurfing off into the forest by yourself for a month, and you will report to Sloppy Smurf in helping him clean the entire village. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Papa Smurf, we understand," all four Smurflings said together before they departed from his presence.
"Well, it sure was fun until Empath ruined the whole thing by smurfing on us," Sassette said.
"Yeah, it makes me regret that he's even related to Brainy of all Smurfs," Snappy said.
"We'd better let Sloppy know that we're going to help him with garbage and outhouse duty for a full month," Nat said.
"Better bring a clothespin, because this job's going to stink," Slouchy said.
Papa Smurf, Empath, Smurfette, and Polaris Psyche looked at the four Smurflings as they talked to each other while walking away. "This smurf doesn't want to be a party pooper to the Smurflings, but there are just some things that you can't enjoy yourselves with," Empath said.
"I know you're smurfing the right thing, Empath," Papa Smurf said. "It's not a habit that I wish to see any of my little Smurfs partaking in, especially with smurfnip."
"This one senses that there was a time when the whole village had to deal with the problem of smurfnip affecting everyone's lives, Papa Smurf," Polaris said.
"Indeed there was that time about a few years before Empath had smurfed home, Polaris," Papa Smurf said. "And strangely enough, it was Gargamel who had used smurfnip as a means of capturing us."
"This smurf didn't know that Gargamel had used smurfnip for that purpose, Papa Smurf," Empath said. "This smurf wants to hear how the whole thing happened."
"Part of this story came from Narrator, Empath, so you will know how Gargamel got involved with using smurfnip," Papa Smurf said. "But anyway, here is how it began..."
As Papa Smurf began his story, Empath and Polaris saw what took place on a day about three years before Empath returned home for good. On that day Smurfette was taking care of Baby Smurf and paying Tapper a visit in his tavern.
"Aye, so how does it feel being like a Mama Smurf to the little darling that smurfed to us following the night of the blue moon?" Tapper asked.
"I didn't think there was so much to learn about being a Mama Smurf, Tapper, but it's been fun so far smurfing care of Baby Smurf," Smurfette said. "I wonder if smurfing my own child someday will be anything like that."
"Smurfing care of a baby will have both its good and bad moments, Smurfette," Tapper said. "What matters is that we will care for the child no matter what he or she will have to smurf through and no matter what any of us will have to smurf through."
"Well, I was just thinking of Grouchy, of how I might be able to make him feel happy, but so far the things that I have tried haven't smurfed," Smurfette said.
"I know how you feel about that, my dear Smurfette," Tapper said. "The truth of the matter is that even with the few close friends that he smurfs, even they sometimes can find it hard to smurf anything that will please him beyond just smurfing their company around, and sometimes he wouldn't even want that."
"You mean sometimes he doesn't even want you around, Tapper?" Smurfette asked, sounding surprised.
"That is the sad truth that I have to face in those moments, Smurfette, but I know in my spirit that Grouchy won't smurf that way for long," Tapper said. "The only thing that I can smurf to him that makes him feel happy is a glass of sarsaparilla ale, and whether he wants anything else from me or not, I just simply let him be."
"A glass of sarsaparilla ale doesn't sound like much company," Smurfette said. "Are you afraid that Grouchy might become a drunk or something?"
"I always fear that of all my fellow Smurfs, but I do fear that of Grouchy most of all," Tapper said. "There's many a time when Grouchy does smurf a bit ornery after a few glasses, but I know he has no interest in smurfing any harm to his fellow Smurfs. Nevertheless, I do try to smurf him from reaching the point where the ale will make him smurf things that he will regret smurfing later on."
"I don't like that the other Smurfs have to turn to drinking to make themselves feel smurfy, Tapper," Smurfette said. "There's got to be some other way that the Smurfs can have a good time without having to smurf to such powerful drinks."
"I understand how you feel, Smurfette," Tapper said. "Being both a bartender and a believer in the Almighty has not been easy for me, let me smurf you that. If it is His desire that I should give up this job in the Smurf Village, my only prayer is that He will lead me into smurfing something else for the purpose of serving Him wholeheartedly. Right now, though, it appears that He has me right where He wants me to be so that the other Smurfs will know that He cares for them through me and what I can smurf for them."
Just then, Duncan McSmurf arrived at the tavern with a group of Smurfs pulling carts full of berries and nuts. "Great Smurfiny Crickets, my fellow Duncan, that's quite a load that you and the lads have just smurfed in for Greedy," Tapper said.
"Aye, but you should see how Grouchy's been smurfing lately," Duncan said. "It's the first time that I ever smurfed him being so happy in his whole life, like smurfing in food from the forest is his most favorite thing in the world."
"Grouchy being happy just to work with his fellow Smurfs?" Tapper asked. "I have got to smurf this for myself, to see what's smurfing on with him."
"Oh, that," Jokey said. "Well, I just smurfed him a little smurf-me-up while we were smurfing together, and he's been smurfing on cloud nine ever since."
"A little smurf-me-up?" Smurfette asked.
"I'm not sure I like the sound of whatever it is that Jokey may have smurfed Grouchy to make him behave that way," Tapper said.
At that moment, Grouchy arrived in the village, whistling the Smurf song and acting all happy and cheery while he was bringing in his cart full of food. "I just love a day like today," he said to his fellow Smurfs. "Everything is just so nice and smurfy. I just wish more days would smurf like this from now on."
Tapper noticed something in Grouchy's eyes that didn't look right. "Great Smurfiny Crickets...Grouchy's eyes have smurfed green!"
"What do you mean, they have smurfed green?" Smurfette asked. "What happened to him?"
Tapper got a closer look at Grouchy and also noticed a distinct smell coming from him. "He's got the odor of that herb called smurfnip, Smurfette. He's intoxicated with its fumes and now he isn't completely himself."
"So that was what that 'smurf-me-up' is that you smurfed Grouchy with, Jokey Smurf," Duncan said, looking at him suspiciously.
"Honestly, Duncan, I just wanted to see Grouchy be happy," Jokey said. "I didn't mean to smurf any harm to him."
"So how long is Grouchy going to smurf like this, Tapper?" Smurfette asked as Tapper sat Grouchy down on a chair while he continued to smile a very big smile.
"It's going to take a while for the effects to smurf out of his head, Smurfette," Tapper said. "In the meantime, we might as well get Papa Smurf to look at Grouchy and see if he has a remedy that can smurf the lad back to his senses sooner."
"Oh dear," Smurfette said, her heart going out to Grouchy. "I want to see Grouchy be happy, but not like this and certainly not this way at all."
Grouchy was soon brought into Papa Smurf's laboratory, where he was given a remedy that cleared up the effects of his inhaling the fumes of smurfnip. Instantly they could see Grouchy's expression return to its normal appearance.
"What happened?" Grouchy asked. "How did I stop feeling so smurfy all of a sudden?"
"That's because you were under the influence of smurfnip, Grouchy, which some Smurf shouldn't have given you," Papa Smurf, looking suspiciously at Jokey who was also present in the room.
"I hate how I feel right now, Papa Smurf," Grouchy said.
"I'm not sure that I see anything wrong with smurfnip, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said.
"Smurfnip is a substance that not only makes you feel high, Smurfette, but it can also smurf powerful hallucinations that can smurf you into danger," Papa Smurf said. "It's likely that the amount Grouchy has smurfed wasn't enough to smurf him any hallucinations, but all the same, it's the reason that I warn you Smurfs to stay away from smurfnip at all costs."
"I just want to see Grouchy be all smurfy for once, Papa Smurf," Jokey said. "He never seems to laugh at anything, even my jokes."
"Risking Grouchy's health and life with smurfnip isn't how I would want to see him be smurfy, Jokey," Papa Smurf said. "For that, you are not permitted to smurf any of your jokes on your fellow Smurfs for a month. Is that clear?"
Jokey gulped at the punishment he was given. "Yes, Papa Smurf," he said.
After Papa Smurf let Grouchy leave his laboratory, Tapper, Smurfette, and Duncan walked with Grouchy. "I honestly felt happy when I was smurfing that stuff that Jokey smurfed me, Tapper," Grouchy said.
"I know that substances like smurfnip can smurf you the feeling of euphoria, Grouchy, but those feelings don't last," Tapper said. "I'd hate to see what would happen to you if became addicted to smurfing it like some of our fellow Smurfs."
"You honestly want to smurf away your life smurfing yourself silly with that smurfnip, laddie?" Duncan asked.
"Well, how else am I going to feel that happy?" Grouchy responded.
"I'm sure we'll find something else besides smurfnip or sarsaparilla ale that will make you feel smurfy, my fellow Grouchy," Tapper said.
"I don't want anything else in my life!" Grouchy shouted as he walked off alone to his own house.
"Oh dear," Smurfette said. "Grouchy sure seems upset that you won't let him smurf the thing Papa Smurf had warned us about."
"Grouchy will understand that I'm smurfing this only because I care about him, Smurfette," Tapper said.
"Just let the laddie smurf over not having anymore smurfnip, Tapper," Duncan said. "He's got to learn for himself that smurfnip isn't good for him to smurf."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-23-2021 01:56 AM
Chapter 2
"Naturally, I became curious of what smurfnip would do to me, because I didn't know just what it is about it that makes Smurfs want to smurf it," Smurfette said, sounding somewhat shameful and hesitant about wanting to confess something like that.
"It's all right, Smurfette," Empath said consolingly. "You didn't know at the time why Papa Smurf was so concerned about the other Smurfs ingesting smurfnip."
"Don't worry, Smurfette...I won't get angry with you for telling me what you have smurfed," Papa Smurf said.
"Well, that night while everybody was sleeping, I smurfed off into the forest to get some smurfnip for myself to try out, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said. "I rolled it up into a paper and then I smurfed it on fire and I smurfed in the fumes. I have never tasted anything like it before...it was like sarsaparilla, but better than that. Anyway, I felt somewhat happy after I have smurfed it, and then I just smurfed off to sleep. But it was when I slept that I have smurfed this disturbing dream."
"What was it that you dreamed after you have smoked the smurfnip, Smurfette?" Empath asked, sounding concerned.
"Well, I was back in Gargamel's castle and he had smurfed me a big smurfday cake for my smurfday, and there were these two creatures who were with them...I think they were called Naughties or something," Smurfette said. "They had light grey skin, and one of them was female and the other was male. They kept saying that we're family because Gargamel created them to be like me, only as his personal minions."
"Naughties?" Papa Smurf said. "I could only imagine that's what Gargamel would call them."
"Given how Gargamel is constantly portrayed, this one would have to agree with you, Papa Smurf," Polaris said.
"Anyway, Gargamel had smurfed me my own magic wand for a smurfday present, and said that I could smurf anything that I want, anything that my little heart desires," Smurfette said. "I never felt so happy to have a family, even if they were smurfed by Gargamel, but there was just one problem...Gargamel wanted me to smurf the formula for changing me into a real Smurf. I knew what the formula was, but I promised Papa Smurf that I would never smurf the formula to anyone, not even to Gargamel. And so I refused."
"But Gargamel refused to smurf no for an answer from you, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said.
"No, Papa Smurf, he wouldn't, and because of my refusal I started seeing my brother and my sister, the Naughties, die," Smurfette said. "He told me that they cannot live unless I smurfed him the formula. I didn't want to lose them, so that's when I smurfed him the formula, and when he smurfed it together, I saw Vexy and Hackus...that were their names...suddenly become blue and smurfy before my very eyes. But we didn't have much time to celebrate before me and them were smurfed into this invention that would extract Smurf essence from us."
"That must have been very frightening for you, Smurfette," Empath said. "How did you feel after having the dream?"
"I honestly didn't feel very good, Empath," Smurfette said. "Tapper came by to visit me that morning and noticed that my eyes were slightly green, but I sure wasn't feeling smurfy waking up that morning. He was the only one that I ever smurfed that dream to, and it was then that I decided that I wasn't ever going to smurf that herb again."
"It's a good thing you chose to learn from that experience, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said. "I certainly didn't want to see you get smurfed up in the same problem that some of my little Smurfs are having."
"In any case, how did Grouchy deal with having that euphoric feeling that came from smurfnip being taken away from him?" Polaris asked.
"I had Duncan smurf a talk with him alone in the forest, since Grouchy felt more comfortable smurfing his problems to both him and Tapper when Empath wasn't here to listen to him," Papa Smurf said.
And as Papa Smurf continued the story, Empath and Polaris both saw Duncan McSmurf out in the forest with Grouchy collecting sarsaparilla for Tapper.
"You see, your fellow Smurfs care enough for you that they don't want to see you hurt yourself just so you can feel smurfy, Grouchy," Duncan said.
"But I never felt as smurfy as I did yesterday when Jokey smurfed me the smurfnip, Duncan," Grouchy said. "I didn't smurf any harm to anybody while I was smurfing it."
"But you never know if you'll be able to control yourself when you're smurfing that kind of drug, Grouchy," Duncan said. "Suppose you smurfed someone by accident because your head was smurfing in a cloud all the time."
"How is that any different from other Smurfs with their heads in the clouds?" Grouchy said.
"I just know that the Grouchy whose head is in a cloud of smurfnip isn't the Grouchy that I know and love," Duncan said. "I know you have problems smurfing with your fellow Smurfs, and me and Tapper are trying to help you with those problems. I just don't see how smurfnip will do anything positive for you."
"You think I'm really better off smurfing the way that I am without smurfnip, Duncan?" Grouchy said. "Half the time I don't even like how I am."
"We all have parts of us that we don't like half the time, Grouchy," Duncan said. "But that's part of the battle that we smurf on a daily basis...having to deal with those parts that we don't like. Just know that you're not in this battle alone, and even if don't crack a smile once in a while, I'm not going to smurf the worst of you for it."
Grouchy stopped his work to think about what his friend was saying. "I'm glad that you're one of the few Smurfs around here that I can smurf to about my problems. I'd sure hate to lose either you or Tapper."
"The other Smurfs will be there for you in case you feel the need to smurf out to them, Grouchy," Duncan said as he saw a faint glimmer of a smile on Grouchy's face.
"In the meantime, though, Gargamel was not all that happy about letting his cat smurf about in the forest wherever he wanted, even if it was to hunt for Smurfs, which in this instance he wasn't," Papa Smurf said.
And then Empath and Polaris could see that Gargamel is outside his hovel looking here and there for his pet. "Ooooh, where could that miserable feline be at this moment?" he muttered to himself. "It figures that my home has to be near this forsaken forest with those wretched Smurfs living nearby that I somehow can't find the way to their village, and I have to listen to their insipid happy singing all the time while they go about their merry smurfy way to make my life a living ****."
Then soon Gargamel saw his cat staggering his way toward the hovel, looking like he has been intoxicated with something. "There you are," Gargamel said, staring suspiciously at his cat. "If you weren't chasing after Smurfs or anything smaller than yourself, it figures that you would be cavorting in the catnip again as usual. What you bag of fleas find so interesting about that plant to make you act so crazy, I will never be able to figure out."
Azrael meowed as his head lolled before the rest of him passed out right near Gargamel's door.
"But that gets me wondering...what else in the forest will attract Smurfs beside the usual disgusting plants like smurfberries and sarsaparilla?" Gargamel said to himself, rubbing his chin in thought. "Maybe one of my books on the local flora will help solve this problem."
Gargamel stepped back into his house, accidentally stepping on Azrael's tail on the way, causing the cat to yowl in pain.
"Let's see what other plants have the name 'smurf' in it," Gargamel said as he opened the book on local flora and searched through its pages. Then he found something. "Ah, here it is...a plant called smurfnip. 'It has an intoxicating property that when inhaled or ingested gives the Smurf a feeling of euphoria, sometimes also accompanied by powerful hallucinations.' A plant that can affect Smurfs in a way that catnip affects my stupid pet."
Azrael came in staggering, wondering what his master is up to now.
"Well, if this plant can make Smurfs hallucinate things while they're getting intoxicated out of their little blue minds, maybe there's a way that this plant can help me catch Smurfs," Gargamel said. "It's got to be something that no Smurf is able to resist...something that they wouldn't suspect would make them so high and flying until they end up dying in my cooking pot."
"Back in the village, I had the problem of how to deal with my little Smurfs smurfing smurfnip, and I wasn't sure what to come up with for a solution, so I ended up turning to Tapper for some advice," Papa Smurf said.
Then Empath and Polaris saw Papa Smurf talking alone with Tapper in his laboratory. Tapper stood still while he watched Papa Smurf pace back and forth while he was talking.
"You see what I'm smurfing with, Tapper...this plant is like the proverbial apple in the garden that your holy book smurfs about," Papa Smurf said. "It's so tempting, and yet I also know the danger that lies in smurfing this plant."
"I understand that it won't be so easy to keep Smurfs away from smurfing their hands on smurfnip, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "But the question you seem to be asking is how to keep the other Smurfs from smurfing it."
"I feel like just warning about the dangers isn't enough to make them keep away from the plant, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "But I'm not sure I would like the idea of some form of police force to smurf over the other Smurfs to smurf them on the straight and narrow."
"I'm not certain that enforcing a prohibition on smurfnip would work in the long run, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "All that I believe it would smurf is encourage bad behavior on the part of those who would desire this plant instead of good faith that the Smurfs would make a sound decision of their own will that they will stay away from smurfnip."
"And I do know that smurfnip does have medicinal purposes, like the eye drops that I smurf for Orbit's eyes made from the extract, so destroying the plant itself is out of the question," Papa Smurf said.
"So what we would need to do is encourage Smurfs that smurfing a life that is free of using things like smurfnip would be a better approach than an outright prohibition, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "If the Smurfs are able to smurf for themselves that they can live their lives apart from smurfing with dangerous substances, then they will choose for themselves to smurf the right thing."
"Then we need to encourage that kind of message through some form of program that would interest my little Smurfs...perhaps even a health conference," Papa Smurf said. "I think that I'm going to need the help of a few other Smurfs if we're going to smurf in this direction."
"Hefty and Culinary would be ideal for helping to smurf a health conference, Papa Smurf," Tapper suggested.
"Fine, then I'll leave the planning of this conference in your hands, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "I may also have Brainy join you in smurfing it together, but the main focus is that we want to encourage Smurfs to smurf good habits instead of bad ones."
"Aye, Papa Smurf, I understand," Tapper said, nodding with acceptance.
"And so began my campaign that I would call 'Smurf No To Smurfnip', which I have told all my little Smurfs about through a public announcement just so they would know that we'd be smurfing this thing together," Papa Smurf said.
"This one doubts that the entire village was unanimous in its support of this campaign, Papa Smurf," Polaris said.
"I knew that there would be a few Smurfs among them that wouldn't be in favor of this campaign, Polaris, but that was the risk I would face when I have smurfed this campaign with Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "Nonetheless, most of my little Smurfs were eager to smurf it a try and see how it will help them in their decision to smurf away from smurfnip."
As Papa Smurf continued with his story, Empath and Polaris saw Tapper talking with his fellow Smurfs in his tavern about the Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign.
"I don't get it, Tapper," Dimwitty said. "Why is it that Papa Smurf is so concerned about us smurfing no to smurfnip? It's not like the entire village is smurfing this plant, are we?"
"Papa Smurf cares about you and your health, my fellow Dimwitty, and frankly so do I and a few other Smurfs," Tapper said. "He wants you to know that you don't have to smurf your life so dependent on smurfing a drug to make you feel good."
"Well, if that's the case, why should we not also smurf no to sarsaparilla ale?" Chatty asked. "Why is it that smurfnip's the thing we should worry about?"
"Smurfnip is a powerful hallucinogenic plant, my fellow Chatty," Tapper said. "It may make you feel good, but it's not worth having yourself experience things that aren't real, things that can be dangerous to the point of where you're not smurfing any attention to what's real."
"This is ridiculous, Tapper," Lazy said. "I smoked smurfnip and I don't see how dangerous it really is. Papa Smurf's just smurfing things up to keep us from enjoying it, that's all."
"What's Papa Smurf going to do...smurf a police force through our village to get us to stop smurfing smurfnip?" Nabby asked.
"Papa Smurf's not going to force anyone to stop using smurfnip, laddies," Duncan said. "He wants us to be able to smurf up our own minds and smurf the right decision when it comes to this plant."
"Yeah, sure, I bet Brainy and Hefty are in cahoots with Papa Smurf right now, ready to smurf down the law to make us smurf what he wants with us," Nosey said.
"Please, this isn't the place to be smurfing rumors about anyone in this village, my fellow Nosey," Tapper said. "You'll see for yourselves that Papa Smurf is not out to smurf away your freedoms, but only wants what is smurfy for you."
"Well, if it's going to take a police force to get Smurfs to stop smurfing that smurfnip, I'd say that we should start smurfing one together," Hefty said.
"A very wise decision, Hefty Smurf," Brainy said. "As Papa Smurf's faithful assistant, I would like to make sure that all our fellow Smurfs are obeying the laws of this village, and that any infractions will be smurfed with various forms of punishment according to proper judicial procedures."
"Proper judicial procedures?" Lazy asked. "What the smurf do you mean, Brainy?"
"I'll tell you what it means...that Brainy wants to smurf this village into a police state if he has his way here," Chatty said.
"That is not going to happen, Chatty," Tapper said firmly. "We are going to smurf this campaign without smurfing any kind of police force to enforce a prohibition. Anyone who wants to smurf otherwise are going to have to deal with Papa Smurf on this matter. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Tapper, we understand," most of the Smurfs said together.
As the Smurfs turned to having private conversations with each other, Brainy and Hefty also did the same. "I'm surprised that you actually agree with me on this issue, Brainy," Hefty said. "The only thing is, how are we going to smurf about doing it?"
Brainy looked at Hefty with a knowing smile. "I seem to smurf a few ideas in mind, Hefty."
Meanwhile, Duncan noticed something going on with Grouchy. "What seems to be the problem, laddie?" he asked.
"I don't like what it is I'm feeling, Duncan," Grouchy said, speaking low so that nobody else would hear them. "It's like there's some sort of being tempting me to smurf more of the smurfnip."
"You mean like a devil Smurf with horns and a pitchfork?" Duncan asked.
"No, it's worse," Grouchy said. "I don't know if it's a leftover hallucination or not, but he keeps telling me that I was smurfy before the others smurfed me away from the smurfnip."
"Well, Grouchy, this is where you're going to be fighting an addiction," Duncan said. "The one thing you need to smurf yourself is that you're in charge of smurfing your own life, not the smurfnip."
"I don't think it's as easy as it smurfs to tell this thing to smurf lost," Grouchy said.
"That's why you've got to smurf yourself with what I call 'the armor of the spirit'," Duncan said. "Imagine yourself smurfed head to toe with an invisible smurf of armor that only you know exists. Nothing can smurf into that armor unless you let it. You feel the enemy smurfing at you, you smurf up your shield and sword and say, 'Nay, I am protected with the armor of the spirit'."
"'The armor of the spirit'," Grouchy repeated to himself. "Maybe I should smurf this thing a try and see if it smurfs."
"All you have to do is believe and this armor will smurf for you, laddie," Duncan said. "And just to let you know, Tapper and I got your smurf on this. You won't be fighting this battle alone."
Grouchy nodded with understanding. "I may not like this one bit, but what else am I going to try?"
After the tavern closed, Tapper walked Smurfette home. "Are you sure you're feeling all right now, Smurfette?" he asked.
"I know that what I experienced was probably the effects of the smurfnip, Tapper, but I do have the feeling like Gargamel is still smurfing after me, wanting me to smurf back to the way I was before I became a real Smurf," Smurfette said.
"I know that this feeling still smurfs you, Smurfette, and I wouldn't envy you for it," Tapper said. "But know that Gargamel can't smurf you the same kind of love that Papa Smurf and all your fellow Smurfs can. He created you only for the purpose of destroying us, and once he smurfs his way, he would not hesitate to smurf on you when your purpose is complete."
"I know that for sure, Tapper," Smurfette said. "But what if Gargamel was able to create these creatures like the Naughties that I have smurfed in my dream? Would he be able to smurf me through the creation of a family, that I would somehow love them as my brother and my sister?"
"I wouldn't know the answer to that question, Smurfette," Tapper said. "But if Gargamel were to treat these Naughties the same way he would treat you as his servant, I don't see how I would smurf that as a family. What you have here in the village is more of a family than what you will smurf out of Gargamel."
"I just wish he wasn't so mean and nasty toward us, Tapper," Smurfette said. "But I guess I'll have to smurf with the fact that nothing in the world can ever change his heart for anyone."
"I still believe that the Almighty can change Gargamel for the better, if that's what He desires of him," Tapper said. "For now, though, remember that the dream you smurfed is most likely a hallucination and not a prophecy of things that will smurf for you."
"You're right, Tapper...it may be just nothing more that a hallucination," Smurfette said as they reached her door. "Thank you for letting me talk with you. I'll smurf you again in the morning."
"Have a pleasant night's sleep, my dear Smurfette," Tapper said as he saw her walk into her house before he returned to his own home.
In Brainy's house, Brainy showed Hefty a couple of uniforms that he had personally made for a costume party, which he originally intended for himself and Clumsy to wear. Hefty tried one of the outfits on and looked at himself in the mirror to see how he looked wearing them.
"Hey, this costume idea of yours is not bad, Brainy," Hefty said as he flexed one of his arms while posing in front of the mirror. "This really smurfs off my athletic figure and makes me look like one bad smurf."
"I figured that someone like you would appreciate the design, Hefty," Brainy said. "It smurfs with a baton that you can use to keep other Smurfs from smurfing out of line while we enforce the law of the village."
"Well, what's to keep me from smurfing you on the head with this baton, Brainy?" Hefty asked.
"Just you try it right now and find out, Hefty," Brainy challenged.
Hefty took the baton and tried clubbing Brainy over the head. "Hey, nothing happened to you," Hefty said when he didn't see his friend staggering around. "So what gives?"
"Behold, these police hats are reinforced with iron mesh, so it can protect our heads in case the Smurfs start rioting or something," Brainy said, knocking on his hat and showing how hard it is. "You will be the one who gets the Smurfs to smurf in line while I will be the one who smurfs out the tickets and smurfs the fines to every Smurf who breaks the law."
"Smurfing out fines?" Hefty asked. "How are they going to pay for breaking the law?"
"Each Smurf that breaks the law will smurf a minimum of at least fifty smurfberries, which shouldn't be problem unless there's a food smurfage or a disaster, in which case all punishments and penalties will be suspended," Brainy explained.
"I'm not sure that's going to keep Smurfs from using smurfnip, but at least it will give me an excuse to smurf Gutsy in his place for all the times he smurfs me in mine," Hefty said as he pounded the baton into his other hand.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-23-2021 01:58 AM
Chapter 3
Just then, Tapper and Duncan appeared on the scene while Papa Smurf was telling his story to Empath and Polaris. "Greetings, my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said. "I hope that I wasn't interrupting anything important smurfing on here."
"Oh, I was just smurfing Empath and Polaris about the time that the whole village had to deal with the issue of smurfnip, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "I hope that you're well prepared for tonight's festivities regarding Lazy's smurfday party."
"Aye, that I am, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "The only regret is that I can't smurf Lazy what he really wants for his smurfday, though I hope he will settle for the next best thing, which is a selection of aromatic herbs that he can smurf for his evening tea."
"Knowing him, he'll probably be smoking the teas to see if that will smurf him the high he wants," Duncan said.
"It's probably for the best that Lazy isn't given what he really wants for his birthday, Tapper," Empath said. "By the way, Papa Smurf said that you were chosen to be the head of this Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign in the Smurf Village some years ago."
"'Twas an interesting hat that I had to smurf on top of being the village bartender, my good Empath," Tapper said. "I was looking for a way to convince my fellow Smurfs that smurfnip wasn't the way for us to experience feeling smurfy, and so I turned to my fellow Smurf Handy for something inspirational for the both of us."
"What were you hoping that Handy would create for you that would assist you in your efforts to educate your fellow Smurfs about smurfnip, Tapper?" Polaris asked.
"I remember about a year after Smurfette became a member of our village that we were celebrating her first smurfday, and Handy told me that he wanted to smurf her a special present that he called smurf-colored glasses, which would enable its wearer to smurf things as being better than what they really are," Tapper said. "So with a frame of glasses and some rose-colored lenses that he smurfed into a rainbow while reciting some magic words he remembered Papa Smurf smurfing when it came to rainbows, the smurf-colored glasses came to life and Handy smurfed himself in a pool's reflection as being handsome as a prince."
"So Handy was hoping Smurfette was going to wear them and see him as that handsome so that she will fall in love with him, but it just didn't turn out like Handy planned it," Empath guessed.
"Unfortunately not for him, Empath," Tapper sighed. "You see, Gargamel had smurfed up a storm spell so that he could capture Smurfs that would be smurfed into his net, but the only thing he smurfed was Smurfette, and this was when she was smurfing the glasses, so she ended up smurfing Gargamel as being really handsome, as Smurfette had told me. Needless to say, Gargamel didn't like this one bit that Smurfette was now smurfing him through the smurf-colored glasses."
"So how did you Smurfs rescue Smurfette in that instance, Tapper, and what became of these 'smurf-colored glasses'?" Polaris asked.
"Well, just as Gargamel had Azrael corner Handy and the lads when they have smurfed to his hovel to rescue Smurfette, Bigmouth the ogre paid the wizard a visit, smurfing for food in his house to eat," Tapper said. "That's when Papa Smurf had Bigmouth smurf on the smurf-colored glasses, and from what I remember Narrator smurfing me, the ogre smurfed Gargamel and Azrael as being something delicious, and so he chased after them while smurfing the glasses."
Empath laughed. "Well, that was a very amusing story, Tapper."
"It certainly is, Empath," Papa Smurf said. "It almost makes me regret that you weren't there at the time to witness it firsthand."
"Such a shame it didn't help the laddie get Smurfette, Empath, but it all smurfed out for the best for him anyway, since the lassie didn't really need the glasses to like him the way he was," Duncan said.
"Anyway, the smurf-colored glasses is what I was thinking of when Handy told me about that, and my thought was smurfing together a pair of glasses that would simulate the effect of somebody being under the influence of smurfnip," Tapper said. "Handy started work on what would soon be called the Hallucinator, and the first time I smurfed those glasses on, I felt that they were effective enough to smurf the job."
"And that was when the Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign began, my little Smurfs, although that was also when something else began that I did not smurf my permission for," Papa Smurf said.
And as Papa Smurf continued to tell the story, Empath and Polaris saw that most of the Smurfs were gathered around the speaking mushroom for an important message from Tapper Smurf.
"Thank you for smurfing all here together," Tapper said. "For the next few days, you will be smurfing about the importance of smurfing a life free of smurfing substances like smurfnip. Now I know some of you would smurf of me as a hypocrite because I am a bartender who smurfs you fermented drinks in the tavern, but I have always been a Smurf for moderate and safe use of such drinks, and I am also concerned for the health and safety of my fellow Smurfs."
"What is this Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign of yours supposed to feature, Tapper?" one of the Smurfs asked.
"Today Qubey has volunteered to teach his fellow Smurfs the importance of good health through physical exercise, while tomorrow Culinary will teach you the importance of good health through safe and proper eating habits," Tapper said. "There will also be other types of demonstrations that will smurfed to you through the help of my good friend Handy, who has volunteered his smurf and craft to this campaign."
"All right, you Smurfs, who has smurfed together this unlawful assembly?" Brainy said as he and Hefty approached the crowd, wearing special uniforms.
"Gosh, Brainy, why are you and Hefty smurfing together in those funny clothes?" Clumsy asked.
"You shall address us as Officer Brainy and Officer Hefty, Clumsy," Hefty said, sounding rather stern.
"Sacre bleu, M'sieu Officer Hefty, what is the meaning of smurfing these uniforms?" Painter asked.
"It just so happens that me and Hefty have just become the first members of the Smurf Village Police Department," Brainy explained. "We will be patrolling the village to make sure every Smurf is smurfing the straight and narrow. I will be smurfing up the tickets for any Smurf that we catch smurfing an infraction of the law, and Hefty will deal with those who decide to smurf either of us any trouble."
"Brainy, who smurfed you permission to smurf this police force of yours together?" Tapper asked.
"Uh...nobody did, Tapper, but if Papa Smurf was present, he would be smurfing his full cooperation and approval for this project," Brainy said. "So again, I ask you who smurfed together this unlawful assembly?"
"This 'unlawful assembly' has been approved by Papa Smurf, laddies," Duncan said. "If you've got an issue about it, Papa is the one that you should be addressing."
"Aha...smurfing a police officer! Smurf him a ticket, Officer Brainy!" Hefty said.
"With pleasure, Officer Hefty," Brainy said as he wrote up a ticket on his notepad and handed it to Duncan.
"This is totally ridiculous, my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said. "You're smurfing up a ticket just for Duncan smurfing you an answer to your question?"
"That's right, and we'll smurf up tickets for anyone who smurfs to oppose the law around here," Brainy said, waving around his notepad. "So unless you want all of us to smurf you up one for being unsmurfy toward a police officer, I'd suggest that you smurf your own ways immediately."
"Duncan is right, that this assembly has been approved by Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "None of us are leaving until we are finished smurfing about the Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign."
"Oh...well, then, since we're on the same side on the issue of smurfnip, I'll allow you to carry on as long as the crowd smurfs in control," Brainy said.
"Smurf you in court, Gutsy," Hefty said as he and Brainy moved on while he was twirling around his baton on a string.
"The name is Duncan, laddie," Duncan said, scowling at Hefty.
The crowd turned back to Tapper, who then said, "Don't worry about Brainy and Hefty, my fellow Smurfs. We won't be smurfing anything in this campaign that will require anything of Papa Smurf or any other Smurfs to stop, as long as we all know how to behave ourselves."
Then Qubey began his part of the campaign, as the Smurfs all gathered around him wearing their workout clothes. He blew his training whistle to get every Smurf's undivided attention. "It's important that in order to live right, you've got to smurf yourself into shape and smurf the right kinds of food. I know that not many of you like to play sports, and not all of you my favorite type of sport, but what about when you have to smurf away from Gargamel and Azrael whenever they're smurfing after you? You think you're going to last against those two when your lungs are smurfed with smoke? I don't think so."
"So how is this supposed to help us smurf no to smurfnip?" one of the Smurfs asked.
"It's simple...you care enough about your body, you're going to want to smurf it into shape as often as you can smurf it," Qubey said. "Now I'm going to smurf you through some warm-ups to get you ready and smurfing for the tough stuff that will really get your heart smurfing. And just to make this part fun, I've got Orbit with his smurfesizer who will smurf you some music to smurf you into the rhythm. Everybody all set?" He waited to see most of his fellow Smurfs nod. "And with a one and a two..."
And soon the Smurfs who were gathered with Qubey began their warm-up exercises to the rhythm of Orbit's music, doing the best they can to follow their instructor's lead as he took them through one routine after another. Most of the Smurfs could feel themselves getting out of breath rather quickly as the warm-ups proved to be rather exhausting to perform. But there were a handful of Smurfs that kept going and going as if they had all the energy in the world to keep exercising.
"Really, is that the best any of you can smurf?" Qubey said, disappointed in his seeing most of the Smurfs getting exhausted too soon and slowing down until they stopped altogether after the song on Orbit's smurfesizer had ended. "Look at these few Smurfs who are still smurfing...I bet those Smurfs are not going to end up smurfing in Gargamel's cooking pot when all is said and smurfed."
"I hate being in Gargamel's cooking pot," Grouchy said between pants.
"This is inspiring me to create An Ode To Physical Exhaustion," Poet said as he collapsed from his warm-up exercise.
"Mon ami, this is just too much exertion for me to smurf," Painter said as he also collapsed.
"Wow, this sure is a lot of hard work just to smurf no to smurfnip, Qubey," Clumsy said as he kept tripping and falling trying to keep up with the rhythm.
"When do we smurf a break for some meals?" Greedy asked when he felt himself getting short of breath.
"You will smurf a meal break when it's time for lunch and dinner, Smurfs," Qubey said. "Come on, we're not finished with our exercises. Now that we have our warm-up, it's time to smurf some running and jumping so that we can smurf on our toes when we need to escape from Gargamel and Azrael at a moment's notice."
"You heard the boy, laddies," Duncan said. "Let's get a smurf on and get ourselves smurfing on our feet already."
Most of the Smurfs groaned as they picked themselves up and followed Qubey as best as they could into the forest for some running and jumping exercises.
Meanwhile, Lazy, Nabby, Chatty, and Nosey were sitting together near the edge of the village in a secluded spot, the four of them all smoking herbs.
"This whole thing is a laugh...the Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign," Chatty said between puffs on his cigarette. "All four of us can see that it's just an effort for Papa Smurf to deny us one of the pleasures that we smurf in life."
"Yeah, we have a right to smurf what we want with our own bodies, don't we?" Lazy said.
"I don't know if what Tapper and Papa Smurf is smurfing is all that bad," Nabby said. "I mean, he's not stopping us from smurfing what we want altogether."
"That's what you really think, Nabby, that Papa Smurf's not trying to stop us from smurfing smurfnip with this campaign?" Nosey said.
"Well, what I really meant was that...," Nabby began to speak.
"Smurf your brain and think about this for a moment," Chatty said. "This whole campaign is being smurfed by Tapper the bartender, who most likely wants us to be smurfing fermented drinks instead of smurfnip because if we stopped smurfing those kind of drinks, his tavern would smurf out of business. You know how much he doesn't want us smurfing inside the tavern and all that, forcing us to smurf outside if we want to enjoy a smurf."
"Yeah, what will we smurf if it rains and we want to enjoy a smurf?" Lazy said.
"Nobody smurfed a cannon to our heads and forced us to smurf up this habit, you guys," Nabby said. "We chose to smurf this because it made us feel good and different from the other Smurfs. If Tapper doesn't want us to smurf our pipes and cigarettes inside his tavern, I think he's got a real good reason to smurf it."
"He's got a reason, all right, that he just doesn't like smurfers like us," Nosey said. "And if he had his way in the village, everyone will be forced to give up smurfing and will have to smurf up all the habits his Almighty wants us to smurf just because He said so in His holy book."
"Tapper and his holy book," Chatty scoffed. "This village was much more smurfy before he decided to take what his book smurfed him to do very seriously."
"Yeah, his Almighty sure doesn't sound like He wants us to smurf any fun around here," Lazy said.
"Look, I know we don't agree with Tapper, but are we just going to smurf him out of the village all because he won't let us smurf in his tavern?" Nabby said. "He hasn't stopped us from smurfing our own fun before, and I don't think he's ever going to start smurfing it now."
"But that's just how it starts, isn't it?" Nosey said. "One by one with all the laws and rules that get smurfed, everything that is fun around the village is made illegal, and before you know it, every Smurf is a criminal. Papa Smurf might as well just brainwash us like the Psyche Master does Empath and remove all our emotions so we would be no better than those Psyches."
"I can't believe that this is what you Smurfs actually think, that all Papa Smurf wants to be is like the Psyche Master," Nabby said. "Papa Smurf doesn't even like him and what he's been smurfing to Empath during the years that he's away from us. There's just no way that he's ever going to smurf over us like we're just a bunch of mindless smurfs."
"Then I guess you haven't noticed how Papa Smurf's been smurfing at Smurfette since she became one of us, Nabby," Chatty said. "If there's one thing that's going to make Papa Smurf turn into the absolute leader of the Smurf Village, it's going to be what he smurfs with Smurfette. Just wait and smurf."
"All right, you Smurfs, what's smurfing on over here?" Brainy asked as he and Hefty arrived on the scene wearing their police uniforms.
"Oh, hello there, Brainy and Hefty," Lazy said. "We're just peacefully smurfing a conversation with each other."
"Yeah, and most likely smurfing your minds with that smurfnip that you're so fond of, Lazy," Hefty said.
"Well, what's wrong with that, Hefty?" Chatty said. "We're not harming anyone else with what we're smurfing here."
"Possession of smurfnip is considered illegal in the Smurf Village," Brainy said as he wrote up a ticket for all four of the Smurfs. "You will each smurf a fine of fifty smurfberries and give up your pipes and cigarettes right now."
"Oh, come on, Brainy, this is just ridiculous," Nabby said as he and the three Smurfs with him received their tickets.
"That's Officer Brainy and Hefty to you four gentlesmurfs," Hefty said. "Come on, surrender the smurfs before I make you surrender them."
All four of them groaned as they handed over their cigarettes to Brainy and Hefty.
"Thank you for your cooperation and have a smurfy day," Brainy said as he and Hefty left the scene with the cigarettes in their possession.
Chatty growled when he saw Brainy and Hefty smugly walk off with the cigarettes. "You smurf what I mean now, Nabby? This whole village is going to end up as a police state with those two Smurfs arresting everybody for every little thing that they smurf, even if it doesn't smurf anybody else any harm."
"So what if they want to bust us for smurfing our cigarettes around here?" Nabby said. "They can't catch us smurfing out in the forest with this stuff. It's too big a place for them to patrol anyway with just the two of them."
"But what if they decide to increase their numbers, Nabby?" Nosey said. "I'm not sure that I'm going to like that there's no place in this world that we can escape the smurfful eye of Papa Smurf and the Smurf Village Police Department."
"Yeah, that will be a really scary situation if smurf comes to smurf when that happens," Lazy said with a yawn.
"I'm not worried, you guys," Nabby said. "They'd have to burn the entire forest to the ground if they're going to get us to stop smurfing smurfnip."
"Don't be surprised if that ends up being what it smurfs, Nabby," Chatty said with a hint of foreboding in his voice.
Sometime later, when the Smurfs have returned from all the exercising they did together as a group and had their lunch, Duncan led them in a discussion held at the Smurf Theater.
"Smurfing no to smurfnip may seem like it's the easiest thing to smurf, but sometimes it isn't, especially when some Smurfs might use tactics such as peer pressure to get you to smurf things that you don't want to smurf or that you shouldn't smurf," Duncan said. "That's when you got to smurf yourself up for battle with what I would call 'the armor of the spirit'."
"'The armor of the spirit'?" the Smurfs said in unison, wondering what he meant.
"It's invisible armor that you should be smurfing every morning when you wake up that protects you from smurfing things that you shouldn't," Duncan said. "Here I have some samples of real armor to smurf you what I mean." He picked up a shield and held it up for the other Smurfs to see. "Here we smurf is your shield of faith, with which you will be able to smurf the fiery darts of the evil ones out there in the world. They will smurf you all sorts of attacks, but as long as you smurf this shield up when the attacks smurf, rest assured that they won't smurf near you."
"Gee, I wonder how this is supposed to help me smurf no to smurfnip," Clumsy said quietly to Dimwitty.
"I don't know either, Clumsy, but it would sure be fun to watch," Dimwitty replied.
"And here we have the breastplate of righteousness, and the only way you can smurf this breastplate is with the belt of truth, or else your breastplate will be smurfing all over the place," Duncan said, showing them the breastplate and putting it on along with the belt. "The truth is that you know you are better than anyone or anything that will smurf you otherwise, and you know that you don't need things like smurfnip to make you feel good."
Then Duncan showed them a pair of shoes that looked like they were made for combat. "These are the shoes you will need to smurf to make yourself ready to face the battle ahead of you, that whatever temptation smurfs your way, you need to be ready to face it or flee, whichever of the two will smurf you out of trouble."
"Mi amigo, yo no necesito un par de esos zapatos para sacarme del apuro," Zipper said.
"Come on, Zipper, say it in Smurf if you want others to understand you," Spinner said.
"And that smurf us to our two last important pieces of armor," Duncan said as he picked up a helmet. "The helmet will save you and shield you from anything the enemy wants to smurf in your head to make you think that you need smurfnip to make you a smurfy person." The last thing Duncan picked up is a sword. "And now that you have your defense, you will need a good sword, the sword of the spirit, that you can raise up to anyone who tries to offer you something bad to make you feel smurfy, and say a definite no to them."
Then Sneaky came up on the stage, dressed in a long trench coat and looking like he was hiding something. "Pssst...hey, Smurf, I've got some good smurf that will really make you fly," Sneaky said, producing what were actually sugar pills. "What do you say? A free sample is all I'm offering."
"You smurf yourself away from me with that stuff, laddie," Duncan said, raising up his sword toward Sneaky. "The only answer I will smurf you is no."
"Oh, come on, all your friends are smurfing it," Sneaky said. "You wouldn't want to be smurfed by yourself as the only Smurf who isn't smurfing this drug now, would you?"
"I know who my real friends are, and my real friends wouldn't be smurfing drugs, you smurfer," Duncan said rather fiercely. "Now begone and don't let me smurf you ever again!"
"All right, all right, I see that you're not interested...but don't think that I won't smurf after your friends," Sneaky said as he sneaked his way off the stage.
"You see, laddies?" Duncan said, raising up his sword in victory. "If you're got 'the armor of the spirit' on, nobody will ever force you into smurfing things that you don't want to do. So when you smurf up in the morning, don't face the day until you smurf yourself ready for battle with your armor."
All the Smurfs in the crowd cheered for Duncan's demonstration, including Papa Smurf, who was with Smurfette and Narrator watching over Baby Smurf. Soon after the demonstration, Tapper joined them as well.
"I see that the first day of the Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign has been well-attended, Tapper," Papa Smurf said.
"It smurfed off to a slow start, with most of the other Smurfs not being physically fit as Qubey would have hoped, but Duncan's demonstration of 'the armor of the spirit' has seemingly intrigued a great deal of Smurfs in the audience," Tapper said.
"I wonder how successful it will be in the long run to get Smurfs to refuse smurfing smurfnip, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said.
"Only time will tell, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said. "For now it seems that Tapper and his volunteers know what they're smurfing in getting the information out to their fellow Smurfs about how dangerous living a life of being addicted to smurfnip can possibly be."
"Rest assured that there will be plenty more things for the Smurfs to learn and experience tomorrow, Papa Smurf, with something that Handy has smurfed up for such an occasion like this," Tapper said.
"Oooh, I can't wait to see for myself what Handy has smurfed for this Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign, Tapper," Smurfette said, sounding eager to know.
Baby Smurf babbled something that sounded like he also wanted to know for himself.
Papa Smurf chuckled. "I'm sure that it will be quite a surprise for all of us, Baby Smurf."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-23-2021 02:02 AM
Chapter 4
Suddenly Smurfette began to cry during Papa Smurf's telling of the story. "Great Smurfness, are you all right, Smurfette?" Papa Smurf asked concernedly.
"I...was just remembering the second dream that I had of Gargamel and the Naughties, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said. "I thought that it would be the last time I ever smurfed that dream after the night that I tried smurfnip for the first time, but then smurfed another dream the following night...it was when I first met them."
"It's all right, Smurfette," Empath said consolingly. "Please tell this smurf everything that you remember about the dream."
Smurfette sighed. "Well, it was right around the time of my smurfday, and every Smurf in the village was acting as if they didn't remember it, and that made me feel as if I was no longer welcome as a Smurf anymore. So I went to the waterfalls to think of what to smurf, and what was when I met the Naughty known as Vexy."
And as Smurfette told about her dream, Empath and Polaris saw that Smurfette was just sitting looking at her reflection in the water by the waterfalls when she noticed that her skin started to turn pale and her hair also turned black. And then she heard the sound of a portal being opened and somebody coming through it, landing in the water right in front of her. "Help...save me...," the female gasped faintly.
Smurfette looked at her in wonder. "Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm your sister," the female said as she slowly rose to her feet. "I have escaped from the evil wizard who created me."
Smurfette realized who it was. "Gargamel," she said to herself. "Well, whoever you are, I'm sure Papa Smurf can do something to smurf you from him."
But as soon as Smurfette grabbed the female's hand, she reached out with her other hand and held tightly onto Smurfette's. "Gotcha!" she said with an evil smile. "Papa Gargamel will be so pleased to have you once again."
Smurfette struggled to loose herself from the grip of the grey-skinned female that grabbed her. "Help! Smurfs! Save me!" she cried out.
"Go ahead, yell all you want...none of your friends are going to hear you," the female said, tossing Smurfette into the portal that was still open. "So long, Smurfs!" she sneered before she also jumped into the portal.
The watery portal seemed to last forever, and then Smurfette appeared in the large room of a very strange castle, the likes of which she had never seen before. Then the female who captured her also appeared with her. "Where am I?" Smurfette asked as she looked around the unfamiliar setting.
"You're home, Smurfette, where you belong," the female said.
"That's right, Smurfette...this will be your home from now on, away from those filthy wretched beings that you call your friends, the Smurfs," a familiar voice said as Smurfette saw the figure of the being that the voice belonged to towering over her.
"Gargamel!" Smurfette shouted as the evil wizard grabbed her and tied her up. "You're wasting your time...Papa Smurf and the others will come smurfing for me."
"Unless he knows something about time travel, I doubt that he will," Gargamel said. "You see, this castle you are in is my new home, in a magical place that they call 'The City Of Lights', and frankly I'm beginning to like it here, except for one small problem...I don't have any of you here to extract any Smurf essence from so that I can keep using my magic."
"So why did you smurf me here?" Smurfette asked. "So you can smurf all the Smurf essence you want from me?"
"Now why would I do that to my darling little daughter whom I love so much?" Gargamel said in a voice that was dripping with fake sincerity. "No, I brought you here because you have something much more important than just Smurf essence. My new creations, the Naughties...they cannot live unless they have Smurf essence, and I don't have much of it left to keep feeding them and using my magic at the same time. What you have is what I want...Papa Smurf's secret formula that he used to turn you into a real Smurf. That's the only way I can save their lives, as well as yours."
"I don't believe you, Gargamel," Smurfette snorted as she struggled to break free of her bonds. "And I'm not going to smurf you a single thing."
"Oh, how utterly disappointing of you to deny me," Gargamel said, sounding like he was deeply hurt by Smurfette's refusal. "Vexy...Hackus...attack!"
The Naughties then turned and attacked each other.
"Oh, not each other, you idiots! Her!" Gargamel snapped, pointing toward Smurfette.
The Naughties then turned and attacked Azrael.
Gargamel threw his hands up in the air. "Why I bothered to create you in the first place, I cannot fathom," he said to the Naughties. "At least Smurfette has more brains in that little blue head of hers than either one of you." He then turned to Smurfette. "But one way or another, I'm going to get that secret, and you'll be sorry that you chose to become a real Smurf when I'm through with you."
The Naughties gathered around Smurfette as Gargamel left the room. "Oh, the little Smurfette is about to cry, Hackus," the female named Vexy said in a mocking tone.
"Hackus happy! Hackus gonna be blue! Hackus gonna be Smurf!" the male Naughty named Hackus said while wagging his head around.
"This one can understand the dream being a manifestation of your feelings of being the only female Smurf in the village at that time that was brought about by in the inhalation of smurfnip, Smurfette," Polaris said when Smurfette was finished telling of her dream.
"I guess that I didn't want to admit to myself how lonely I was smurfing to feel of being the only Smurfette around, at least until around the time that the Smurflings came to our village, Polaris," Smurfette said.
"None of us at the time could smurf that coming, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said. "Anyway, from what Narrator has smurfed me, Gargamel was planning something with the smurfnip that he found out about from his books, and what he was planning wasn't something any of us could smurf coming our way."
And as Papa Smurf told his part of the story from what Narrator had told him, Empath and Polaris then saw Gargamel with a spraying device that he carried with him out into the forest while his cat Azrael followed close behind. Empath and Polaris noticed that Gargamel was wearing a mask over his face.
"What a work of genius, Azrael," Gargamel said. "This concentrated essence of smurfnip mixed with a bit of an appetite attractant will make smurfberries more than just delicious to the little blue Smurfs...it will make them have powerful hallucinations and that feeling of giddiness and euphoria as the smurfnip essence will bake their brains to a golden crisp."
He soon saw a patch of smurfberry bushes that he can spray the smurfnip essence upon. "Stay back, Azrael...this smurfnip essence must be applied very carefully onto the bushes, because one whiff of this and we'll be affected by the essence as well." He laughed as he started spraying the bushes with the essence while Azrael stood back, being careful not to get near his master or the bushes while he was doing his dastardly work.
"There!" Gargamel said as soon as he finished spraying all the bushes with smurfnip essence. "Now all it takes is one stupid Smurf with a nose for those smurfberries they're so fond of eating, and soon we'll have the entire village eating right out of our hands, Azrael. And then they'll be coming right into our hands when they start seeing and hearing things that aren't even there."
Gargamel laughed along with his cat Azrael at the thought of what will happen to the Smurfs.
"That day we were now smurfing about healthy living through better eating, and Culinary Smurf was on hand to smurf us some important tips on how all of us could benefit from eating the right kinds of foods on a daily basis," Tapper said.
And as Tapper told his part of the story, Empath and Polaris saw that the Smurfs were gathered around the Smurf Theater where Culinary was performing a demonstration to his fellow Smurfs by showing all the foods laid out on a table on the stage.
"You see, my fellow Schlumpfs, it's important to eat all the foods in balance with each other so that you smurf all the proper nutrients," Culinary said. "You have here you fruits and vegetables, you have your grains, you have your nuts, and you have your milk products. Now the fruits and vegetables are the most important part of your diet, because that's where you smurf most of your nutrients from, and you want to make sure that your fruits and vegetables are always fresh and ready to smurf."
"Uh, I don't see what any of this has to do with smurfing no to smurfnip," Clumsy said to Dimwitty.
"Me neither, Clumsy, but it will be fun to watch, trust me," Dimwitty said.
"I know most of you may not like smurfing this, but it's become a favorite of mine that Hefty Schlumpf had introduced me to, which is called Vita-Juice," Culinary said. "You see, I smurf all my vegetables down to small pieces so that I can smurf them together into this smurfomatic juice smurfer here." He then showed the Smurfs the vegetables he had chopped up before placing them in the machine. "I just smurf the power key like this, press the button, and..."
Suddenly the smurfomatic juice smurfer started running, and soon it also started spraying Vita-Juice all over the place, on the stage and also on the Smurfs who were sitting close to it.
"Oops, I missed a very important detail about the juice smurfer...you have to smurf the lid on it or else you'll get juice smurfing all over you," Culinary said as he shut the machine off. He then put a few more sliced vegetables into the machine, then put the lid on top of the pitcher part before turning the machine back on. After a while of the juice smurfer running, Culinary shut it back off again and poured the juice into the glass to drink. "Ahhhh...now this is what I would call a drink. You should try some yourself, because it's very good for you and it also smurfs very good."
Most of the Smurfs in the audience just shook their heads and held up their arms to make it clear that they wouldn't want go anywhere near a glass of Vita-Juice. But Culinary saw Baby Smurf raise his hand while he was with Papa Smurf.
"Yes, you, the Baby Schlumpf in the white sleeper," Culinary said. "I see that you're not too young to try out some Vita-Juice for your smurfing little body. Why don't you bring Papa Schlumpf with you onto the stage and try some of it for yourself?"
The Smurfs watched as Papa Smurf brought Baby Smurf onto the stage, and Culinary handed a glass of Vita-Juice to Papa Smurf, who then had Baby Smurf carefully drink the small amount he was given. Baby Smurf let out a satisfied "mmmmmm" sound before he burped.
"Well, what do you know?" Culinary said, sounding pleased. "It seems that Baby Schlumpf isn't too finicky about what he eats, and he's just been here for a short while at that. If only more of us would be just as appreciative of smurfing healthy foods like this little one, imagine a world of difference this would smurf in our lives."
Every Smurf clapped for Baby Smurf before Papa Smurf took him off the stage.
While Culinary continued with his demonstration of eating healthy food, Duncan noticed that one of the Smurfs is missing. "What seems to be the problem, my little Duncan?" Papa Smurf asked as he saw Duncan heading away from the crowd.
"Grouchy is missing, Papa Smurf," Duncan said, speaking in a low voice. "I have an unsmurfy feeling that something's happening to the boy that needs my intervention."
"I only hope that he's all right," Papa Smurf said as he watched Duncan head out in search of Grouchy. Baby Smurf sighed, sounding like he was also concerned for him.
Duncan looked around the village, calling out Grouchy's name and wondering where he could have gone. Then he smelled a hint of smurfnip in the air that attracted his attention. He followed the scent until he found himself near the edge of the village where there was a Smurf sitting in a secluded spot smoking a cigarette.
Duncan got as close as he could to see who that Smurf was, and he was surprised to recognize him. "Grouchy!" he shouted as he grabbed the cigarette from Grouchy's hand and crushed it out before flinging it into the woods.
Grouchy turned rather slowly to see who it was that grabbed the cigarette from him. "Hey, you, why did you smurf the cigarette away from me?" Grouchy said, sounding a bit angry, though his voice was rather slurred.
"Grouchy, I thought that we were going to smurf no to smurfnip together!" Duncan shouted, trying to get Grouchy's attention.
"Oh, that," Grouchy said. "Well, I hated how I felt without the smurfnip, and I just couldn't resist, so I had to smurf myself some more to make me feel smurfy again."
"Grouchy, my Smurf brother, you make me weep for you," Duncan said. "The smurfnip is affecting your mind to the point where you think you can't smurf your life without it. I've got to get Papa Smurf's help to sober you up before anyone else finds you like this."
"Okay, you Smurfs, what's smurfing on here?" Brainy asked as he and Hefty approached them in their police uniforms.
"Yeah, I could smell smurfnip burning here just about a minute ago," Hefty said.
Duncan was really starting to detest the presence of Brainy and Hefty working as police officers. "It's nothing either of you need to concern yourself about, laddies," Duncan said. "I'm just trying to help a friend here smurf a habit."
"Aha! Covering up Grouchy's possession of smurfnip, are we?" Brainy said. "That's going to cost you a fine of five hundred smurfberries, and you could possibly be smurfing some time in prison. Don't either of you know that possession of smurfnip is illegal in the Smurf Village?"
"Illegal?" Duncan said. "Since when did Papa Smurf say that having smurfnip is illegal?"
"Well, if Papa Smurf doesn't want us to be smurfing smurfnip, then you should know that having it is a punishable crime, Gutsy," Hefty said.
"The name is Duncan, Hefty, and I sure don't remember Papa Smurf making the possession of smurfnip into a punishable crime, since he himself uses smurfnip for making medical extracts," Duncan said.
"Well, it's certainly clear to me that Grouchy wasn't smurfing it for medicinal purposes, Duncan," Brainy said. "And if you're going to protect Grouchy like that, then I'm afraid that we'll have to smurf you into custody."
"No!" Grouchy shouted. "Smurf me if you have to, but don't smurf Duncan with you for something I have smurfed."
"You're only lucky that you're being smurfed off easy here, Grouchy," Hefty said, as he grabbed Duncan by the wrists and bound them with rope. "Officer Brainy, smurf him up a ticket for fifty smurfberries."
"With pleasure, Officer Hefty," Brainy said as he wrote up a ticket on his notepad and gave it to Grouchy before he and Hefty took Duncan away.
Papa Smurf was just walking away from the Smurf Theater with Baby Smurf after Culinary's demonstration had ended when Grouchy came running to him, looking like he could barely focus on heading where he wanted to go. "Grouchy, what's going on?" he asked as Grouchy approached him. "And why do you smell like smurfnip again?"
"It's my fault, Papa Smurf," Grouchy said, sounding very sad. "Duncan found me smurfing smurfnip because I wasn't able to resist, and then Officer Brainy and Officer Hefty found us together with the scent of smurfnip and they smurfed Duncan away into custody."
"Officer Brainy and Officer Hefty?" Papa Smurf said, unsure of what Grouchy was trying to tell him. "Come, show me where they have smurfed Duncan."
Grouchy took Papa Smurf to a Smurf house that was being used as a prison. There they saw Duncan held behind bars, looking like he was being treated as a criminal.
"Thank smurfness you came, Papa Smurf," Duncan said as he saw Papa Smurf with Grouchy approaching. "Those two Smurfs, Brainy and Hefty, have smurfed it in their heads to become the Smurf Village Police Department, and they're enforcing laws about smurfnip that they claim you have smurfed up."
"Laws about smurfnip?" Papa Smurf said.
"They have smurfed me up a ticket for a fine of fifty smurfberries that I need to pay just for possession of smurfnip, Papa Smurf," Grouchy said, showing Papa Smurf the ticket.
"Hmmmm," Papa Smurf said while he was looking at the ticket, "it seems that we have a problem on our hands that smurfs beyond just our little Smurfs smurfing smurfnip, and I don't see how smurfing anyone fines or smurfing them in prison is really helping."
"I'll smurf in this prison if I have to, Papa Smurf," Duncan said. "What I'm really concerned about is making Smurfs into criminals just for smurfing this terrible habit."
"No, Duncan, I'm not going to let you smurf in there if I have anything to smurf about it," Papa Smurf said.
At that moment, Farmer was about to lead a group of Smurfs into the forest with baskets and carts when Brainy and Hefty came by and stopped them. "Hold it right there, gentlesmurfs," Brainy commanded.
"Hey, what you policesmurfs be smurfing me and my group for, Officer Brainy?" Farmer asked.
"Just a routine inspection and your intended purpose for smurfing out into the forest is all we're asking for, that's all," Hefty said as he looked at the Smurfs and what they were carrying with them.
"We're just be smurfing out to get smurfberries for tonight's meal, because Culinary wanted to prepare something fresh for us to smurf tonight," Farmer said.
"Uh-huh, a likely story," Brainy said, as he also inspected the Smurfs and what they were carrying them with them. "Nothing on them but just baskets and carts, Officer Hefty."
"Fine, fine, you Smurfs may pass," Hefty said, as he signaled for his partner to allow the group of Smurfs to pass.
"Not even a smurf of smurfnip on them, Officer Hefty," Brainy said after the group had entered into the forest. "They must be clean after all."
"Well, we still have to inspect them smurfing back into the village, Officer Brainy," Hefty said. "Who knows if any of them are truly on the smurf-and-up?"
"What is the meaning of this, putting Duncan McSmurf into prison?" Papa Smurf asked as he approached Brainy and Hefty with a stern look on his face.
"Oh, Papa Smurf, we're just simply enforcing the law around here," Brainy said, trying to sound innocent. "Me and Hefty decided that what this village needs is a police force to make sure Smurfs are not smurfing smurfnip anywhere within the village or near it."
"I surely didn't smurf either of you permission to smurf this idea of yours into reality, Brainy, and I surely didn't smurf either of you my authority to smurf this on my behalf," Papa Smurf said. "If I truly want Smurfs to be punished just because they are smurfing smurfnip, I will deal with the matter myself."
"But Papa Smurf, how is any Smurf going to respect your decisions if you don't let the Smurfs know that you won't let them smurf smurfnip anywhere in or near the village?" Hefty asked.
"Because I treat you and all the other Smurfs in this village like family, Hefty, and family members are supposed to love and help each other, not punish and condemn one another for smurfing such misdeeds like smurfing smurfnip," Papa Smurf said. "If you're going to be a protector of this village, you're going to have to worry about greater dangers like Gargamel and let the other Smurfs take care of things like how to handle smurfnip unless it poses a danger to all of us."
"Really, Papa Smurf, that's not a very realistic way to deal with the problem of smurfnip that we all face," Brainy said. "If the other Smurfs don't understand what you mean when you say that you don't want them to smurf smurfnip, how else are they going to learn that no means no?"
"As the leader of this village, Brainy, I am ordering both you and Hefty to stop treating Smurfs with smurfnip like criminals, and I am also ordering you to release Duncan McSmurf from your custody right now," Papa Smurf said. "If you don't obey this order, then I will surely find some other task in the village for the both of you to smurf that neither of you will like very much. Is that understood?"
Neither Brainy nor Hefty responded.
"I said, is that understood?" Papa Smurf repeated a bit more firmly.
"Yes, Papa Smurf," Brainy and Hefty responded together.
As Papa Smurf walked off, Hefty and Brainy looked at each other. "Well, Officer Brainy, that was certainly a great idea that we smurfed together," Hefty said rather sarcastically.
"Okay, so it was wrong for us to not inform Papa Smurf about our idea beforehand, Officer Hefty," Brainy said. "But if we're not going to go after Smurfs for smurfing smurfnip, that doesn't mean we can't go after them for smurfing something else."
"Yeah, like what?" Hefty asked.
Brainy looked up to the sky while thinking. "I'll have to study up on my laws of the Smurf Village to smurf you a suitable answer, Officer Hefty."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-23-2021 02:06 AM
Chapter 5
"So Brainy wasn't happy that you were seemingly interfering with his job of trying to keep the village smurfnip-free, Papa Smurf," Empath said.
"No, he wasn't, Empath, even as much as he was trying to smurf up to the example that he sees that I have smurfed up for all my little Smurfs to follow," Papa Smurf said. "Nevertheless, Brainy and Hefty did listen to my order and had Duncan McSmurf free from the prison that they had smurfed him in."
"Aye, it will be a sad day in the Smurf Village when every Smurf is treated like a criminal or a suspect, Empath," Tapper said, agreeing with the sentiment.
"But what this one wants to know is how Gargamel's plan of tainting the smurfberries in the forest with concentrated smurfnip essence would eventually affect the Smurfs who would unwittingly eat the berries," Polaris said.
"That's what I'm smurfing to, Polaris," Papa Smurf said. "Farmer and his group of Smurfs went out into the forest to smurf in a harvest of berries that we were going to smurf that night, when all of a sudden they noticed that the berries were smelling more delicious than they actually were."
And as Papa Smurf told his part of the story, Empath and Polaris saw that Farmer and his group of Smurfs were coming close to the patch of smurfberry bushes that Gargamel had sprayed earlier with the smurfnip essence when they stopped and sniffed the air. "Mmmm-mmmm, either I'm hungry or those berries must be smurfing such a scent that I can't seem to smurf myself away from them," one of the Smurfs said.
Farmer noticed it as well. "It do seem to be strange that the smurfberries are making my mouth water more than usual just by the smell."
"They smurf so delicious, I could eat them right off the bush," another Smurf said as he raced over to the bushes and started picking them.
"Just make sure that you be smurfing more for the baskets and carts than you do be smurfing for your stomach there," Farmer warned.
And as the Smurfs began to pick the smurfberries from the bushes, Gargamel was watching them with his cat Azrael while hiding themselves, daring not to expose themselves while they are watching their prey.
"Look, Azrael, look...those hungry little Smurfs are taking the bait," Gargamel said. "Soon those smurfberries will make every Smurf seem rather loopy as they wonder what's in the berries that's making them feel that way. And when they get loopy, they will get careless and start following after the hallucinations that they think are so real, and that will be when the Smurfs will be so easy to catch, they won't even notice that the hallucinations will lead them right to their doom."
Gargamel and Azrael both laughed at the thought of the Smurfs becoming loopy.
"Meanwhile, I was showing the Smurfs through Handy's new invention what being under the influence of smurfnip looks like in a safe way," Tapper said.
And so Empath and Polaris saw there were a crowd of Smurfs gathered around Tapper as he handed one of them a pair of glasses. "So what am I supposed to see when I smurf them on?" the Smurf asked.
"There's only one way to find out, my fellow Smurf," Tapper said. "I promise you, that you won't believe how different everything smurfs when you wear them."
And so the Smurf put on the glasses, and instantly he reacted with amazement. "Wow, it's like everything is in a bright colorful rainbow haze, but it's also so blurry and sparkly," the Smurf said.
"Try walking around while you are wearing them," Tapper suggested.
The Smurf tried walking around while wearing the glasses, but because everything in his vision was so distorted, he couldn't see where he was going and ended up bumping into things and into other Smurfs.
"You see, my fellow Smurf?" Tapper said when the Smurf took off the glasses and saw everything being back to normal. "That is what things are like when you're smurfing under the influence of smurfnip. It all looks nice, bright, and colorful, but things become so distorted to the point where your vision is affected."
"Hey, this is incredible," the Smurf said, looking at the glasses he was holding. "Smurfs, you've got to smurf this a try. You won't believe how powerful these things are."
And so one by one the Smurfs took their turns putting on the glasses and being amazed by how much their vision was affected by the distorted rainbow haze they were trying to see through.
Papa Smurf found one Smurf walking straight into him while wearing the glasses. "It seems that Handy has become quite ingenious with the creation of an effective smurfing tool, Tapper," Papa Smurf said as he approached Tapper.
"Aye, that he is, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "With this Hallucinator, Smurfs will find out just what it's like to be under the influence of smurfnip without having to try the smurfnip firsthand. The only thing it can't reproduce is the euphoric feeling."
"You can't always give the Smurfs everything they want, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "This might help a few Smurfs be strong in their resolve to smurf no to smurfnip."
"It makes me wish that I never tried smurfnip in the first place, Papa Smurf, because I can't seem to smurf enough of it," Grouchy said with a groan.
"I know it's not easy to give up something that may smurf you harm in the long run, Grouchy," Papa Smurf said. "But at the very least you're willing to admit that giving up on smurfnip is not easy. We'd only be fooling ourselves to think that we have the willpower to oversmurf our own problems by ourselves."
"We'll be smurfing by you to help overcome being oversmurfed by smurfnip, my fellow Grouchy," Tapper said, smiling. "You're not in this fight alone."
Just then, Duncan McSmurf joined Tapper, Grouchy, and Papa Smurf. "Ah, it's so good to be a free Smurf once again," Duncan said while rubbing his wrists. "I wonder what you're going to smurf with those two self-appointed guardians of the law, Papa Smurf."
"Well, at the very least they won't be smurfing after anyone who's in possession of smurfnip, so that's a relief," Papa Smurf said. "But as far as their job of trying to smurf the peace, I'm thinking that it wouldn't be such a bad idea if they would patrol the village to make sure things are peaceful and smurfy on a daily basis."
"But what about those tickets that they smurf out?" Grouchy asked.
Papa Smurf stroked his beard trying to think. "I will have to think about what would be suitable as far as fines for my little Smurfs, if they were to smurf fines for anything that would be considered unlawful or a disturbance. It would have to be something that is fair and equitable for every Smurf, including myself should there ever be a need for me to smurf an example for the others to follow."
"You're not seriously considering having a police force on constant patrol in the Smurf Village, are you, Papa Smurf?" Tapper asked.
"Not if this village doesn't need more than two Smurfs who will smurf their job faithfully just to keep everyone safe, Tapper," Papa Smurf said.
"My only hope is that it wouldn't need one at all," Duncan said.
At that moment, Farmer and his group of Smurfs have just arrived in the Smurf Village with their carts and baskets full of smurfberries. "Ah, it smurfs like we're going to be eating healthy tonight, my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said.
"Smurf is me, those smurfberries certainly smell delicious," Papa Smurf said as he went to see the amount of smurfberries that were gathered.
"Yup, and they would surely be making some good eatings tonight when they get smurfed into pies or what have you, Papa Smurf," Farmer said.
"Hmmmm, there's something really strange about the smell of the smurfberries," Tapper said as he sniffed the air. "I never smelled them being this strong before."
"Aye, maybe Mother Nature is being a little generous with her blessings of good smurfy crops in the forest there, laddie," Duncan said.
"I'm sure every Smurf will get a delicious treat tonight for supper, my little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said with a chuckle.
After a healthy dinner of a vegetable salad with fresh dressing and croutons, Greedy brought out a treat for every Smurf: a fresh batch of smurfberry cookies. They all smelled how hot, fresh, and delicious the cookies were, and couldn't wait to get their hands on them.
"Smurf hearty, my fellow Smurfs," Greedy said as he let every Smurf take as many cookies as they wanted. Nobody noticed, however, that Greedy seemed rather tipsy, as if he had too much of Vino's stock during dinner preparation.
But then Sickly noticed there was something wrong with the cookies. "I'm not normally allergic to smurfberries, but there's something in the cookies that's making me sneeze," he said, as he sneezed like crazy.
"You're not the only one who's noticing something, Sickly," Tracker said. "It smells like somebody smurfed something to make us want to eat the cookies."
"Well, I guess that means there's more cookies for us if you're not going to eat them," Nabby said as he shoved more cookies into his mouth and ate them with reckless abandon.
"It's too bad Baby Smurf isn't ready to eat smurfberry cookies, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said as she ate one of her cookies.
"No problem there, Smurfette," Gelato said. "I have made this smurfberry pudding especially for Baby." He placed the small bowl of pudding on the table next to Papa Smurf.
"Okay, Baby Smurf, open wide," Papa Smurf said as he fed the infant a small spoonful of the pudding that was in the bowl. Baby Smurf tried to eat it, but suddenly he just spat it out, which made Papa Smurf and Smurfette concerned.
"Why won't Baby Smurf eat the smurfberry pudding, Papa Smurf?" Smurfette asked.
"I don't know, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said. He tried again to feed Baby Smurf a small spoonful of the pudding, only to get Baby Smurf refusing to open his mouth.
"Maybe there's something in the pudding that he doesn't like," Smurfette suggested.
Papa Smurf shrugged. "It looks like I'm going to have to enjoy this pudding for Baby Smurf if he doesn't want it."
Soon every Smurf who ate the cookies was starting to feel rather relaxed. "I never felt this good smurfing these kind of cookies before," one Smurf said.
"Yeah, I can see the entire village starting to smurf in bright colors now," another Smurf said.
Even Papa Smurf was noticing his vision being affected as whatever was in the smurfberry cookies was making him feel relaxed. "Greedy...what did you smurf in the smurfberry cookies that you smurfed?" he asked.
"Oh, let me see...there was flour, eggs, sugar, salt, baking soda, butter, cinnamon, and smurfberries, Papa Smurf," Greedy said. "Why, is there something wrong?"
"Of course there is something wrong...you forgot to smurf the sarsaparilla in the cookies," Papa Smurf said.
"Oh, yeah, that would really make it smurfy, Papa Smurf," Greedy said. "I'll have to remember to add some to the recipe with the next batch."
Sickly and Tracker, who never ate any of the cookies, began to notice that the Smurfs were acting all funny. "Wha...wha...wha...achoo...what's happening to the other Smurfs?" Sickly asked.
"I don't know, Sickly, but I suspect there's something in the ingredients Greedy used to smurf the cookies that's doing this," Tracker said. "I'll have to smurf through everything in Greedy's kitchen to find out what."
"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together," Sloppy began to sing. "I am the egg-smurf...I am the egg-smurf...I am the walrus, coo coo ca choo..."
And another Smurf sang, "One smurf makes you larger, and one smurf makes you small, and the ones that Mother smurfs you don't do anything at all..."
And a third Smurf sang, "Smurfette getting high with Linus...Smurfette getting high with Linus..."
And a fourth Smurf sang, "I can smurf for miles and miles...I can smurf for miles and miles..."
And a fifth Smurf sang, "You don't know what we can find...why don't you smurf with me, little girl, on a magic carpet ride..."
And a sixth Smurf sang, "Smurfing that train, high with no brains...Smurfy Jones, better watch your speed..."
And a seventh Smurf sang, "Smurf on the water, a fire in the sky..."
And soon most of the Smurfs were singing whatever song was coming to their heads at the time, including the Smurf song in which some Smurfs have made up their own lyrics for.
"My little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said as he stood up from the dinner table to address them, "I hereby declare that we shall have a smurfnip party, where we shall collect all the smurfnip that we can from the forest so that everyone will be allowed to enjoy it for the rest of the night."
"HURRAY!" most of the Smurfs shouted together ecstatically.
"I hate...uh, I hate...not having a smurfnip party," Grouchy said.
"You might as well enjoy it while you can, laddie, because I'm sure going to enjoy it," Duncan said to Grouchy.
"Brainy, aren't we supposed to stop the other Smurfs from smurfing smurfnip?" Hefty asked.
"Who cares about stopping them?" Brainy said. "I've been smurfing my words of wisdom for far too long anyway. Let them enjoy smurfing their brains out."
"You know, Brainy, you're right," Hefty said. "This will surely be a smurfy smurfnip party."
Smurfette was busy dancing with Clumsy while she carried Baby Smurf in her arms, who looked absolutely confused at all the silliness he was seeing. "Oompa, loompa, smurf it up your joompa, oompa, loompa, smurf it up your joompa," they both sang together.
The other Smurfs heard this chanting and started doing it while they danced together. "Everybody smurf nip, everybody smurf nip, everybody smurf nip, everybody smurf nip..."
Tracker managed to get Baby Smurf out of Smurfette's hands and had Sickly hold onto him. "Party smurfer!" Smurfette cried out.
"Come on, Sickly, let's go find the cause of all this silliness before they really smurf out of their minds," Tracker said.
"You...you...achoo...you don't need to tell me," Sickly said as he followed Tracker.
As Tracker was inspecting every ingredient in Greedy's kitchen that was used in preparation of that evening's dinner, both he and Sickly could hear Twanger playing his guitar and singing while Harmony was playing in time with his trumpet:
Well, they’ll smurf ya when you’re trying to be so good
They’ll smurf ya just a-like they said they would
They’ll smurf ya when you’re tryin’ to go home
Then they’ll smurf ya when you’re there all alone
But I would not be the one who's first
Everybody must get smurfed
Then Tracker said, "Aha! I think I have found it!" He held up a smurfberry that he put up to Sickly's nose, which made him sneeze. "This smurfberry smells like it's been smurfed with the essence of another plant entirely, and judging from everybody's behavior, that plant must be smurfnip."
"Smurfnip?" Sickly said. "Oh, I'm allergic to the scent of smurfnip. And they're going to go out and smurf more of it to smurf."
"Papa Smurf has the remedy for clearing up the effects of smurfnip in his laboratory, but I don't know how effective it would be if this smurfnip essence is so concentrated," Tracker said. "We need to smurf to Papa Smurf's laboratory and see if we can smurf up the ingredients to this remedy and distribute it to the entire village in the amount that we need to smurf the job."
"But how are we...how are we...achoo...going to be able to smurf up the remedy?" Sickly asked. "Neither of us know anything about smurfing magic."
"True, but I do know how to smurf apart various herbs, and for a situation like this, I may be the closest thing we have to an apothecary," Tracker said.
"Ach, what are you Schlumpfs doing in the kitchen?" Culinary said as he spotted Sickly and Tracker with Baby Smurf. He then picked up a broom and started hitting the two adult Smurfs with it. "Go on, smurf out of here right this instant. I won't let you Schlumpfs who have no business smurfing in the kitchen smurf your noses around here while I'm the one who's in charge of it."
Sickly and Tracker quickly left the kitchen, but as soon as they left, they heard Culinary talking to a person that neither of them could see as he started work on preparing a food item. "They're starting to...starting to...achoo...hallucinate, Tracker," Sickly said.
"Then we don't have much time, Sickly," Tracker said. "We'd better get smurfing on the antidote to get every Smurf back to their senses before they start smurfing into any danger."
During all the dancing and singing, Smurfette started to hear voices. "You really think these Smurfs are truly your family?" a familiar female voice asked.
Smurfette turned and saw that it was Vexy, one of the two Naughties from her dreams. "Vexy, is that really you?" Smurfette asked.
"Yeah, and Hackus, my stupid brother, is also here with me," Vexy said. "You don't belong with these Smurfs. You belong with us, and with your true father."
"Hackus have other sister! Hackus have other sister!" Hackus said as he appeared on the other side of Smurfette.
"But I don't trust Gargamel, Vexy," Smurfette said. "He's so mean and nasty because I chose to be a real Smurf. He doesn't even want me anymore except to be used as a tool to capture the other Smurfs."
"The other Smurfs don't really care about you...they just love you because you're the only female Smurf they have around," Vexy said. "Besides, if Gargamel didn't truly care about you, why would he send us to get you?"
"Hackus want sister to come home! Then we become true family again!" Hackus said.
"You really think Gargamel cares about me after all that I have smurfed, Vexy?" Smurfette asked.
"I know that he's mean and nasty, but that's not entirely against you, but against what you become, which is confused," Vexy said. "Come with me and you'll see that he wants you as his daughter, not just as a tool. You won't ever have to feel alone because we will always be together."
"Hackus be together with sister! Hackus be together with sister!" Hackus said.
Smurfette looked into Vexy's eyes and started to believe her. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's smurf off together to Gargamel's so that we can be a family together!"
"Now you're talking like a true sister," Vexy said, as Smurfette and Hackus followed after her into the forest.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-23-2021 02:10 AM
Chapter 6
"You actually thought these Naughties were real and that they were sent by Gargamel to bring you back home to him?" Empath asked Smurfette.
"I honestly thought they were real, Empath, but my head was so clouded by the smurfnip that I ate from the cookies that I couldn't tell if they were real or not," Smurfette said. "So naturally I followed them out into the forest, and that was where I got captured by Gargamel, who smurfed that I was so out of my mind believing this story that he decided to smurf along with it."
"Every Smurf was so out of their minds being on smurfnip, Empath, except for Sickly and Tracker, who never smurfed the cookies that night," Papa Smurf said.
"It was not an entirely pleasant experience for all of us, smurfing these hallucinations from the smurfnip that the smurfberries had been smurfed with," Tapper said. "All throughout the time that I was under the influence, I was seeing leprechauns smurfing here and there that were harassing me. One of them said that he smurfed my harp, so I was chasing him all around the village until another leprechaun said he smurfed my harp, and so on and on I was led on a wild smurf chase."
"This one doesn't envy you for the experience, fellow Tapper, given that being under the influence of smurfnip was the last thing that you wanted to feel," Polaris said.
"While we were all smurfing the effects of smurfnip, more than a dozen of my little Smurfs went out into the forest to gather more smurfnip for the party, and that was when they were captured by Gargamel," Papa Smurf said.
And at that point in the story, Empath and Polaris saw that Gargamel was out in the forest with his first captive Smurfette in his sack and Azrael tagging dutifully along. "So when do I get to smurf my own magic wand, Papa Gargamel?" Smurfette asked.
"Soon, my little Smurfette, very soon," Gargamel said. "But first, I need to capture your former friends, the Smurfs, so I can...uh, extract their essence for my magic. You do understand how valuable they are, don't you?"
Azrael alerted his master to sounds that are nearby, and soon Gargamel could hear the sounds as well...the warbled singing of the Smurfs as they were going out into the forest without any concern for their safety. "Here they come, Azrael," Gargamel said. "They're so giddy with happiness that they don't even know or care what's out in the forest waiting to capture them."
Gargamel and Azrael hid themselves behind a tree and saw a couple of Smurfs passing through, singing the Smurf song as they were skipping merrily along. Gargamel grabbed them both, and they just stared at him with glazed eyes, thinking that he was nothing more than a hallucination. "How are you doing, Garglesmell?" one of the Smurfs asked.
"Oh, this is just too easy, Azrael," Gargamel said as he put the two Smurfs in his sack. "I should have enough Smurfs by the time the night is over to do whatever I want with them."
Then he heard more Smurfs nearby, one of them speaking in a Spanish accent. "Hey, amigo, we've smurfed some pretty good pitufojuano over here."
"Hey, dude, that's gonna be some primo stuff," another Smurf said. "Papa Smurf is going to be so pleased with us."
Gargamel came closer and saw that it was the two Smurfs who were Spinner and Surfer. "I feel so smurfy that I want to smurf some of it right out in the open," Spinner said, making a sound like he was taking a puff on a cigarette.
"Maybe we can smurf it up into a big smurf, and then the whole village can take turns smurfing it together," Surfer said.
"Here, help me carry this into the village, man," Spinner said. "I just wish the other Smurfs with here with us to share in this wonderful bounty of pitufojuano'."
Then the Smurfs turned and saw Gargamel nearby. "Look, it's that Gargamel dude who always smurfs after us. I wonder if he wants to smurf some of our pitufojuano, man," Surfer said.
"Actually, I'm more in the mood for some Smurf stew right now," Gargamel said as he captured the two Smurfs and put them in his sack.
"Aw, man, how are we going to smurf the pitufojuano now?" Spinner said after he was put in the sack.
"Maybe he's got some of the smurfy stuff back in his castle, man," Surfer said. "Perhaps he'd let us have one last smurf before we get smurfed in the stew."
"Hey, that would be far out, man," Spinner said as he and the other Smurf laughed together.
In the meantime, back in the Smurf Village, the Smurfs were dealing with all sorts of hallucinations that the ingestion of smurfnip has brought upon that it was becoming a madhouse. Jokey was rolling on the ground laughing like crazy, feeling like he was being tickled by a bunch of tiny Fuzzle creatures. Vanity was parading himself around with no clothes on and thinking that he's being admired by his fellow Smurfs for wearing the latest fashion, a suit made of invisible thread. Clumsy was just laughing and dancing and tripping to the sounds of the music being played by Twanger and Harmony, who thought that they were being joined by other musicians in a band. Painter got out his paintbrush and easel and started painting a scene of the entire village in bright garish colors. Poet was trying to compose An Ode To Smurfnip by using words at random, not caring how they sounded or if they rhymed or not. And Scribbler felt as if he was seeing everything in his world as well as himself as if it was all a living animated cartoon.
In Papa Smurf's laboratory, Papa Smurf was having fun using a transformation potion to change himself from one form into another while Tracker and Sickly were mixing together the remedy to clear up the effects of smurfnip, all the while trying to keep Papa Smurf from grabbing the ingredients to the remedy.
"There, this should smurf the trick," Tracker said as he saw that the remedy potion was ready. He had Papa Smurf inhale its fumes, which soon began to have its effect, making his vision return to normal and also restoring his personality.
"Huh? What happened to me? What the smurf am I doing with this transformation potion?" Papa Smurf asked as he looked around and then looked at himself before using the potion to restore his normal appearance.
"Papa Smurf, you've been...you've been...achoo...under the effects of smurfnip and so is everyone...everyone...achoo...else," Sickly answered.
"The smurfnip was smurfed on the smurfberries that were in the cookies, Papa Smurf," Tracker explained. "I suspected that there was something wrong with them, and Sickly became allergic, so neither of us have smurfed the cookies."
"So I see," Papa Smurf said as he looked out of his laboratory and saw all his little Smurfs acting like they were out of control. "It looks like I'm going to need to smurf up more of the remedy in order to cure all my little Smurfs."
"Papa Smurf, some of...some of...achoo...the Smurfs have smurfed off into the forest to get some more...some more...achoo...smurfnip for a party," Sickly said.
"Oh no!" Papa Smurf said, having a realization of who may be behind the tainted smurfberries. "Gargamel must have been behind this. We're going to need a few Smurfs to go with you and find the other Smurfs before Gargamel finds them."
"There may be a good chance that Gargamel already has them, Papa Smurf," Tracker said. "I'll go find a few Smurfs that I can smurf this smurfnip remedy to."
"I'll stay here and watch over Baby Smurf," Papa Smurf said after Tracker poured the remedy potion into a vial to carry it with him.
"I might as well...as well...achoo...go with him, Papa Smurf," Sickly said as he left the laboratory with Tracker.
Soon Tracker found the two Smurfs he was looking for -- Hefty and Duncan. They were locked in a duel with each other, Hefty using his baton and Duncan using a sword to swing at each other. They both seemed very determined to make the other Smurf lose his weapon when Tracker made them both smell the fumes of the remedy potion, bringing them back to their senses.
"Michty me, what the smurf were we doing?" Duncan asked, seeing the sword in his hand.
"Yeah, why was I even fighting with you in the first smurf, Gutsy?" Hefty asked, also seeming puzzled.
"There's no time to explain, my fellow Smurfs," Tracker said. "We need to smurf out into the forest to find the Smurfs that Papa Smurf has sent to smurf more smurfnip before Gargamel finds them."
"Aye, I have an unsmurfy feeling it must have been Gargamel behind making the smurfberries so delicious with the smurfnip," Duncan said as he sheathed his sword and Hefty his baton.
"If he was a Smurf, I'd bust him for smurfing such a thing with the smurfberries," Hefty said as they went out into the forest together.
Meanwhile, in Gargamel's castle, the evil wizard had the several Smurfs he had captured under lock and key in a cage while he prepared his cooking pot for a Smurf stew. The Smurfs that were captured looked confused and even worried as they have no idea what was going on, except for Smurfette, who was seeing Vexy and Hackus appear next to Gargamel.
"How could you make me believe that Gargamel ever loved me and wanted me to smurf back to him?" Smurfette asked Vexy, sounding like she was betrayed.
"Oh, that was part of his plan all along, sweetie," Vexy said. "You see, you have been a failure to Papa Gargamel and now he's going to make you see that you're a failure because you turned your back on him when he needed you the most."
"Smurfette not true sister! Smurfette not true sister!" Hackus said.
"Well, if that's how you feel about me, then I'm glad I'm not a true sister, because I know who my real family is, Vexy," Smurfette shouted.
"Right, those little blue troublemakers that you're now a part of," Vexy said. "I just hope you'll be happy joining them wherever it is they're going."
"Hackus happy! Hackus see not sister go bye-bye!" Hackus said, sounding rather joyously at the thought.
Smurfette found herself ready to break into tears. "I can't believe that I was smurfed into thinking that Gargamel ever really cared about me," she whimpered.
"Oh, don't be so sad, my little Smurfette," Gargamel said, overhearing her comments. "You'll see that it's for the better that you'll no longer have a smurfy life to live because it will all be over for you and your little blue friends. You won't have to worry anymore about whether I would even want you as a daughter when you know that all I want of you is to destroy those miserably happy Smurfs, and since that is what you failed to do, I will spare you the misery of a long life of painful regret."
"That is one thing I will never regret, Gargamel," Smurfette said. "I would rather see you fail and fail again to hurt my friends and family."
"And that is why you will join your friends and family in my cooking pot, Smurfette," Gargamel said. "If I can't get the satisfaction of you destroying the Smurfs the way that I want you to, then I will have the satisfaction of destroying you with them."
Smurfette watched tearfully as Vexy and Hackus gathered around Gargamel to watch him prepare his Smurf stew, even though he was totally unaware of their existence since they were hallucinations. She had a feeling that if they had really been Gargamel's creations, they would know firsthand what kind of a human the evil wizard really was, and they would not enjoy suffering under his hand should either or both of them ever betray their master.
Tracker, Sickly, Hefty, and Duncan searched the forest until they came to a spot where Tracker stopped and smelled something. "I have a distinct feeling that Gargamel has been here with some of our fellow Smurfs," Tracker said.
"You mean...you mean...achoo...that Gargamel has captured them?" Sickly asked.
"I could feel that in my smurfs, laddies," Duncan said with some foreboding.
"Okay, so if Gargamel has captured them, how are we going to smurf them out of there?" Hefty asked.
"He must have the concentrated smurfnip essence around his hovel somewhere, Hefty," Tracker said. "If we can get him to smurf that essence, we can disorient and distract him long enough to get those Smurfs safely out."
"But how do we...how do we...achoo...know that smurfnip also smurfs on humans?" Sickly asked.
"If it's that concentrated, Sickly, there's only one way to find out," Hefty said.
"Well, lead the way, Tracker," Duncan said. "Hopefully we can smurf there before it's too late."
Soon the four Smurfs found themselves at the window of Gargamel's castle looking in to see the evil wizard preparing a Smurf stew while his cat Azrael was resting. Tracker looked around the main room they were in to see if there was anything that had the concentrated smurfnip essence in it, and then he noticed it. "There, on that chair...it's some sort of sprayer," Tracker told his fellow Smurfs.
"So do we...do we...achoo...have a plan on how to use the sprayer?" Sickly asked.
"I think there's a way that we can smurf the sprayer," Hefty said, and so he whispered his plan to his fellow Smurfs.
Soon the cat was awakened to the sound of a sneezing Smurf. He opened his eyes and saw Sickly and Tracker inside the hovel, and instantly got up from his cushion to chase after them.
Gargamel was distracted from his preparations by the sound of his cat chasing after something. "Azrael, you nincompoop, stop running around this instant and calm yourself down. There's nothing else in this house except for..." He turned and saw Hefty and Duncan standing on the chair where the sprayer was. "Smurfs!"
"Now!" Duncan shouted, as both he and Hefty squeezed the sprayer to make a cloud of concentrated smurfnip essence come out to cover both Gargamel and Azrael.
Gargamel could hardly see anywhere when the cloud was sprayed on him, and then soon everything became a bright blurry and sparkly rainbow mess as the effects of smurfnip took a hold on both him and his cat. "Oh, Azrael, don't you see how beautiful the world has become? What an incredible feeling of joy that has swept over me. I wish that everything in the world could be this beautiful all the time."
Hefty found the key to the cage that the Smurfs were held captive in and unlocked it, freeing his friends. "Hefty, what's happening to Gargamel?" Smurfette asked.
"Oh, he and Azrael are just going to be feeling really smurfy for a time until we all smurf out of here," Hefty said. "I'd sure don't want to be him when he starts smurfing any hallucinations."
"You mean, we were all under the effects of smurfnip?" one of the Smurfs asked.
"Aye, and you can thank Gargamel for that, laddies," Duncan said, as he led the captive Smurfs out of the hovel during Gargamel's and Azrael's distraction.
"Oh, Azrael, why do we even bother going after the Smurfs?" Gargamel said while he was so intoxicated. "What have they ever done to deserve such misery that we inflict upon them? All they want to do is live their happy little lives, and all we do is intrude upon it with our evil selfish plans...just for the simple sake of making ourselves rich. I swear that I shall turn over a new leaf and dedicate my life anew to the preservation of such wonderful intelligent beings."
"Gargamel!" a familiar voice shouted at him. "How dare you think that I will let you ruin your life by being such a do-gooder to those horrible little Smurfs?"
Gargamel then saw who was with him in his house. "Mummy?!? Well, I didn't mean..."
"When are you ever going to pay me back for everything that I have given you, Gargamel?" his mother said, hitting him again and again with her handbag. "I put you through the best sorcerer's guild so that you would become a great and powerful sorcerer like your dear old father, and what do I get for my troubles? Oh, you make me wish that I never had you back when I did, because all you have ever been to me is a complete and utter failure."
"No, Mummy, I swear that I'm not a failure," Gargamel said as he tried to get away from his mother hitting him with the handbag.
Meanwhile, Azrael had his own hallucination to deal with...a big bulldog that was now chasing after him, making him run for his life.
"Oh, I swear to you Smurfs, that you won't ever see the last of me," Gargamel shouted as he kept being chased by his own hallucination. "I'll get you...I'll get all of you if that's the last thing I ever do!"
On their way back to the village, Tracker had given Smurfette and her fellow Smurfs a whiff of the smurfnip remedy to restore them to normal.
"I can't believe that I fell for those hallucinations smurfing that Gargamel wanted for me to return to him because he cared about me," Smurfette said.
"That was the smurfnip getting to you, Smurfette," Hefty said. "I only hope this means you won't be smurfing that stuff ever again."
"Believe me, Hefty, after tonight I don't even want to think about smurfnip," Smurfette said.
"You mean this whole thing was smurfed up by Gargamel?" Spinner said. "Oh, santo pitufo, this thing makes me want to smurf my brains out."
"Come on, Pedro, let's smurf back to where we found the pitufojuano," Surfer said, and so the two of them went their own separate ways.
"I hope...I hope...achoo...that Papa Smurf was able to cure the entire village of that...of that...achoo...smurfnip digestion," Sickly said.
"Papa Smurf won't let his little Smurfs down, laddie," Duncan said. "By the time we smurf home, our fellow Smurfs should be smurfing back to their smurfy old selves."
"I don't mind my fellow Smurfs being all smurfy with smurfnip, though, if that's what they choose to smurf," Tracker said.
"Whatever your feelings are about smurfnip, Tracker, Papa Smurf's still going to have the final smurf on the matter," Hefty said.
"Papa Smurf only has the final smurf because he cares about us, laddie, not because he wants to smurf over how we live our lives," Duncan said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-23-2021 02:14 AM
Chapter 7
"And truly I did have every Smurf back to normal before the night was through, and I had Farmer clean off all the smurfberries of that concentrated smurfnip essence so that we could safely eat them once again without being affected by the essence," Papa Smurf said. "I informed Mother Nature about what Gargamel did to the smurfberries in the forest, and she also smurfed care of the matter, though she left the smurfnip blossoms alone even if I didn't want them bothering my little Smurfs again."
And as Empath and Polaris listened to the rest of the story, they saw Papa Smurf with Tapper and Duncan watching all the other Smurfs going about their business in their daily routines, feeling happy about themselves.
"Ahhhh, it's so nice to see everything back to being smurfy again, my little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said.
"And to think that this smurfnip almost led to our being captured by Gargamel, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "It was such an entrancing feeling that I almost feel sorry that it didn't last if it weren't for those hallucinations we were smurfing."
"You're not thinking of going back on your Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign, are you, laddie?" Duncan asked.
"Why, of course not, my good Duncan," Tapper said. "I just understand for a bit how my fellow Smurfs feel when they are smurfing it, that's all. I don't want to ruin how any Smurf wants to have fun and feel smurfy, but I know now from firsthand experience that some smurfings of pleasure do come with a heavy price."
"If being on smurfnip almost led to all of us being captured by Gargamel, I would say that it's a price that's too high for us to smurf," Duncan said.
"Indeed it is, my little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said. "That's why I'm afraid that I can't let any Smurf have any smurfnip around in this village, because who knows if they would be able to handle how potent such a smurf can be."
Just then, Grouchy joined the three Smurfs, looking as sour as usual. "Smurf o' the morning there, my fellow Grouchy," Tapper greeted. "How are you feeling today?"
"Just smurfy as usual," Grouchy said in a snarling tone.
"Grouchy, I know you must feel upset that you didn't get to smurf a smurfnip party like we would have had when we were not ourselves, but you should understand by now that some things in life just aren't smurfy for you," Papa Smurf said.
"I guess I can live with it, Papa Smurf," Grouchy said with a frustrated sigh. "But for a moment, I did feel like I was at peace with myself when I was smurfing under the effects of smurfnip...at least until the hallucinations started smurfing in and then everything went to smurf in a way that I didn't like."
"So you're saying that you hate smurfnip now, Grouchy?" Duncan said, trying to understand what he was saying.
"I just don't feel comfortable smurfing the stuff now, Duncan," Grouchy said. "Maybe I'll try smurfing something else to make me feel better about myself."
"There's always a good glass of sarsaparilla ale at my tavern when the day is smurfed, my fellow Grouchy," Tapper said. "And I'll try to see what kind of aromatic teas might be to your smurfing."
"I'm not big on teas, but I will take the sarsaparilla ale, Tapper," Grouchy said.
"Aye, you've still got the Smurfish in you, my friend," Tapper said smiling.
Just then, Smurfette approached the four Smurfs while carrying Baby Smurf, looking rather upset. "Smurfette, what's wrong?" Papa Smurf asked.
"Look at this, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said, showing Papa Smurf a ticket. "Officer Brainy just smurfed me a ticket for having Baby Smurf crying too loudly and disturbing the peace."
Lazy also approached Papa Smurf. "Officer Brainy has just smurfed me a ticket for sleeping in public, Papa Smurf," he said, also showing him a ticket.
"Gosh, Papa Smurf, I've just got a ticket from Officer Brainy for tripping over a fellow Smurf," Clumsy said as he appeared with his ticket.
And soon Papa Smurf was surrounded by a group of Smurfs all showing that they got tickets for some infraction of the law that Brainy had spotted them doing.
"Well, it smurfs like the Smurf Village Police Department has smurfed overboard in trying to smurf the peace around here, Papa Smurf," Duncan said.
Papa Smurf didn't like what was going on and decided to do something about it. "BRAINY! HEFTY! SMURF OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"
"And needless to say, because Brainy and Hefty were smurfing to the point where they were smurfing out tickets for even minor infractions, I had to dissolve the Smurf Village Police Department immediately," Papa Smurf said as he finished his story.
"That's unfortunate that you had to do that, Papa Smurf, as noble an idea that Brainy and Hefty together had thought of at the time," Empath said.
"But this one is satisfied in knowing how the issue of smurfnip was ultimately resolved, Papa Smurf," Polaris said.
"Of course, the one thing that this smurf wants to know is what happened to the Hallucinator...those glasses that were being used to show the effects of being under the influence of smurfnip," Empath said.
"Oh, yes, the glasses," Tapper said. "Well, there was a fellow Smurf who was interested in owning the glasses just because he liked how smurfy he saw everything was through them, and so I ended up smurfing the glasses to him."
"May this one know exactly who that Smurf is that you gave the Hallucinator to, fellow Tapper?" Polaris asked.
Just then, they could hear Vanity approaching. "Oh, how absosmurfly smurftacular you look today! Oh, what a smurfect specimen of smurfhood you are! Oh, you look even better than you did yesterday, and I happen to know that as a fact."
The five Smurfs watched as Vanity passed by them, wearing the Hallucinator and looking at himself in the mirror while walking and kissing his reflection.
Smurfette giggled when she saw Vanity wearing the Hallucinator. "I guess that those glasses have really smurfed to good use, although I doubt that it's going to make Vanity smurf no to himself."
"At the very least, Smurfette, this smurf won't need a pair of those kind of glasses just to see that you're beautiful," Empath said.
"Me neither, lassie, and I think your fellow Smurfs can also smurf the same about you," Duncan said.
Papa Smurf chuckled. "I can wholeheartedly agree with you on that, Duncan."
"By the way, since we mentioned him, where is Grouchy?" Smurfette asked.
"I haven't smurfed him all day, Smurfette," Tapper said. "The last I know of him is that he was preparing a special smurfday surprise for Lazy."
"Grouchy preparing a smurfday surprise for Lazy?" Duncan said, not believing what he was hearing. "Now that's something I've never smurfed of before."
"This one can only imagine what that 'smurfday surprise' might be, if this is unusual for Grouchy to give his fellow Smurf Lazy any presents," Polaris said.
Just then, they heard Lazy sounding very excited. "Oh, this is the smurfiest present I have ever smurfed for my smurfday," he said as he approached the five Smurfs and Polaris with a small box he was carrying and showed what was inside.
"That's a box full of cigarettes," Papa Smurf said, sounding rather curious. "They wouldn't happen to be smurfnip cigarettes, are they?"
"Oh no, Papa Smurf," Lazy said. "Grouchy says it's a special blend of herbs that he has smurfed up -- damiana, wild dagga, scullcap, blue lotus, catnip. Oh, this will be great to smurf after my smurfday party."
After Lazy left with his birthday present, the Smurfs gathered together with Polaris just looked at each other. "Well, at the very least, it wasn't smurfnip that Grouchy had given Lazy," Smurfette said with a shrug.
"I'm never comfortable with the idea of Smurfs wanting to pollute their lungs just for the smurf of getting high, Smurfette," Tapper said.
"Still, laddie, it's their choice if they want to smurf herbs or not," Duncan said. "We can't force them to smurf good habits anymore than they can force us to smurf bad ones."
"Unfortunately, that's very true, Duncan," Papa Smurf said. "There's only so much that I can do as a village leader and a Papa Smurf to protect my little Smurfs from themselves. In the end, it has to be their choice to smurf healthy lives."
"This one isn't very comfortable with just letting the other Smurfs have the liberty to harm themselves however they see fit, but this one will do everything possible to keep their habits from harming others," Polaris said.
"This smurf agrees with you completely, Polaris," Empath said. "As long as we don't have to face another case of smurfnip madness, this smurf doesn't see the problem of letting the Smurfs do what they want that doesn't harm anybody else."
"And I will continue to pray for wisdom that the Smurfs may know to smurf what is right for their lives," Tapper said.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-24-2021 03:53 AM
Bonus mini-story: "Empath In A Cloud"
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During Empath's first visit to the Smurf Village, Tapper noticed that one day Empath seemed to be staring into space, not saying anything to anyone, his face a frozen expression of no emotion whatsoever.
"Great Smurfiny Crickets, my fellow Empath, what's wrong?" Tapper asked. "Why are you staring off into the distance like that?"
But Empath didn't respond.
Duncan came by and saw Empath's frozen expression. "Michty me, laddie, what's smurfed into the boy?" he asked.
"I have nary a clue, my good Duncan," Tapper said. "But I do think Papa Smurf needs to smurf a look at him to find out."
"Just hang on there, Empath, we're going to smurf you some help," Duncan said as he and Tapper brought Empath to Papa Smurf.
"Everything is in nice bright colors around here," Empath said rather quietly.
"Nice bright colors?" Duncan said. "Tapper, you don't think that..."
"I don't like the smurf of this, Duncan, what this might imply," Tapper said.
They soon reached Papa Smurf in his laboratory. "Papa Smurf, me and Duncan have noticed Empath in this rather unresponsive state where he was just smurfing off into the distance," Tapper said.
"And now he's muttering about smurfing nice bright colors," Duncan added. "I think he may be affected by something that he smurfed."
"Why do the clouds have those smiling faces on them?" Empath asked. "And why is there a fat man that has wings on his hat and the tail of a raccoon?"
"I think I know what's affected Empath, my little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said. "There's nothing for you to worry about right now. I will smurf care of this problem."
"Aye, Papa Smurf, if you say so," Tapper said, and so he and Duncan left their friend in the care of Papa Smurf.
After a little while, Empath's eyes blinked before he started to look around and notice that everything around him was back to normal. "Papa Smurf?" he said as soon as he noticed him.
"Empath, how are you feeling right now?" Papa Smurf asked.
"This smurf is functioning normally right now, Papa Smurf, though this smurf isn't sure of what happened between the time this smurf was with Lazy and Nabby and right at this moment," Empath said.
"You were saying that you were smurfing things in nice bright colors, Empath," Papa Smurf said.
"That is exactly what this smurf was experiencing, Papa Smurf," Empath said. "And besides that, this smurf could remember seeing unusual things such as mushrooms with eyes that move, turtles with wings, and creatures that spit eggs from their mouths. They looked so real that this smurf thought they actually existed."
"What you were most likely experiencing was hallucinations, caused by something that you have smurfed," Papa Smurf said. "Do you remember what you were smurfing with Lazy and Nabby when this happened?"
Empath thought for a moment and then said, "This smurf remembers that we were sitting by the river's edge talking about some things, and then Lazy and Nabby were inhaling something and blowing the smoke that they produced with a plant substance that this smurf wasn't made aware of. They said that this will make this smurf fly, whatever they mean by that, and so this smurf inhaled the substance, and from that point on, after a few inhales, things became rather...weird."
"Things became rather weird when you were inhaling the smoke?" Papa Smurf said. "Empath, I have to tell you that what you were smurfing in is a substance called smurfnip."
"Smurfnip?" Empath asked, sounding curious. "Is this a plant that causes hallucinations?"
"Yes, and while it also produces a feeling of being high, the hallucinations can be rather unsettling, even downright scary," Papa Smurf said. "I should know because I have experimented with smurfnip in my younger years as a Smurf."
"But this smurf does not understand why Smurfs would inhale this kind of substance, even knowing what kind of effects it produces," Empath said.
"It's because Smurfs want to experience things that would help them escape reality, Empath," Papa Smurf said. "Using stuff like smurfnip may seem like a smurfy thing to do, but in the end it can produce more harm to your mind than you can possibly handle."
"Then you believe that no Smurf should ever be inhaling this kind of substance, Papa Smurf," Empath said. "Judging from the effects that came from this smurf's experimentation with smurfnip, it would seem best for this smurf to refrain from further experimentations."
"That is a very wise thing to do, Empath," Papa Smurf said. "Unfortunately, it may not be easy for your fellow Smurfs to give up habits like this because the effects of the high can be so powerful that they can smurf into an addiction."
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-24-2021 03:58 AM
Bonus mini-story #2: "Lazy's Birthday Dream"
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It was the day of Lazy's birthday during the first year of Empath being home from Psychelia, and Lazy fell asleep while everybody was preparing for the party. He could only imagine what it's going to be like this year.
"Lazy! Lazy, wake up! It's time for your smurfday celebration!" a Smurf was calling out to him in his sleep.
Lazy woke up and found out that it was the Smurflings. "Oh, hello there. I didn't think that the party would be starting soon."
"We've been busy for hours, Lazy," Snappy said.
"Yeah, do you know how much work it smurfed us just to get things ready?" Nat said.
"Hey, it's only Lazy who's smurfing a smurfday today," Slouchy said.
"I bet you must be needing something to get this party smurfed and ready for you, so we smurfed the honors of smurfing you this," Sassette said, producing a box of what appeared to be rolled-up cigarettes.
Lazy looked at the Smurflings in amazement. "You Smurflings did this for me?" he asked.
"Why wouldn't we, Lazy?" Snappy said. "We know how much you like smurfing in those green leaves that you're so smurfy about."
"So we smurfed you only the best in smurfed-up cigarettes," Nat said.
"What are you waiting for?" Slouchy said. "Go ahead and smurf yourself one to light up!"
"Here, you can use this," Sassette said, producing a lighter in the other hand.
"Oh, this is just too real to be a dream," Lazy said as he took one of the cigarettes out of the box and had Sassette light one up. He inhaled and noticed how sweet the smoke tasted. "Aaaaahhh...this really smurfs the spot!"
"Here, smurf the whole box with you," Sassette said. "It's your smurfday present this year."
"Oh, you're the best friends that a Smurf like me can have," Lazy said, taking a few more puffs while also grabbing the box of cigarettes. "Wow, this really gets me smurfing in the clouds. It must be a special blend of smurfnip."
"Comes from Farmer's special crop out in the fields, Lazy," Slouchy said. "Only he knows how to grow smurfnip to smurf you that extra special kick."
"We would have smurfed out in the fields all day smurfing the stuff, but Farmer says that this is only for Lazy's smurfday party, because he really cares about you," Snappy said.
"Just don't smurf it all at once, though," Nat said. "Make sure you smurf the rest for later on, when you really need to feel that smurf."
"Come on, Lazy, let's get smurfing to the party," Sassette said, grabbing Lazy's hand after he had finished smoking the cigarette.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming," Lazy said as he got up and followed the Smurflings into the center of the village where he saw all his fellow Smurfs looking so mellow, as if they have been smoking the same herbs. He also noticed that everything in the village had a strange green tint, which seemed to suggest the idea that they were all intoxicated.
"Lazy, you're just in time," Papa Smurf greeted him. "Greedy has smurfed you a very special cake for your smurfday this year."
"A very special cake?" Lazy said. "What kind of cake is it, Papa Smurf?"
"Oh, it's a very special recipe, smurfed with all kinds of herbs and ingredients that will make you feel just as relaxed and as smurfy as we are," Papa Smurf said.
"Yeah, this is the cake that really bakes you," Greedy said as he brought out the cake that somehow had green frosting on it and designs of smurfnip blossoms on it.
Lazy noticed that Empath also appeared to be rather mellow. "This smurf understands that you enjoy indulging yourself in various types of relaxants, so it was this smurf's idea that this year you should have a smurfday cake to elevate your spirits to the highest degree possible," Empath said.
"Oh, I didn't know that you cared about me wanting to feel so high, Empath," Lazy said. "You're not going to smurf it against me and Nabby for having you smurf your first smurfnip cigarette, are you?"
"Not at all, fellow Lazy, not at all," Empath said, sounding rather chipper. "In fact, this smurf appreciates your efforts in trying to make this smurf feel more like a Smurf through the experimentation with the intoxicating substances. This smurf found the experience rather...interesting."
"Oh, Lazy, I've got a little surprise for you," Smurfette said. Lazy looked and saw that Smurfette was dressed in a skimpy outfit that seemed to be made of smurfnip leaves. "Don't you think that I look smurfy in this? Farmer helped me to smurf this outfit just for you."
"For me?" Lazy said. "Oh, Smurfette, you look so smurfy in those leaves."
"You should be careful wearing that, Smurfette," Hefty said. "You smurf so hot in it that you might end up smurfing the leaves on fire, and then there will be nothing left but fumes to inhale."
"But Hefty, isn't that the point?" Tuffy said. "She ignites the leaves just by wearing them, and then we just smurf in the fumes. Isn't that brilliant?"
"I'm sure that it will make a fasmurfnating study on how much body temperature it would require to make smurfnip leaves combust to the point of generating intoxicating fumes, but right now it's really hard for me to think clearly enough to smurf into such a discussion," Brainy said.
"That's okay, Brainy," Lazy said. "It doesn't matter to me whether Smurfette's outfit smurfs up in flames or not."
"Here, Lazy, try one of my smurfberry candies," Jokey said as he popped one into Lazy's mouth.
"Oooh, this smurfberry candy's got me feeling all smurfed up, like it's got so much hypertine and some other things in it," Lazy said after he tasted the candy.
"Yeah, I made these candies especially for you, Lazy," Jokey said with a laugh. "There's so much hypertine in this candy it will make your head spin, if the other things in it don't smurf the job first."
Suddenly Lazy felt an explosion in his mouth. "Was the candy supposed to do that, Jokey?" Lazy asked.
"Of course it does," Jokey said. "I wouldn't offer you a candy like that if it didn't have one of my surprise tricks in it."
Lazy burped. "Well, it sure has a smoky aftertaste."
"Hey, Lazy, you've got to try this," Snappy said as he handed Lazy and his fellow Smurflings what appeared to be thin straws wrapped in colorful paper. "These are fizzy pops, which you're supposed to smurf through your nose, and it makes you feel like you've got soda foam up your nose."
"Really?" Lazy said as he took one of the straws. "I've got to see how this smurfs!"
"Ready, Smurflings?" Nat said, as all four of them unwrapped their straws. "One...two...three...SNIFF!"
All four Smurflings sniffed up the contents in their straws, as also did Lazy.
"Ohhhh...I can feel the fizzy pops fizzling inside my nose right now," Slouchy said.
"Burping badgers, so can I," Sassette said.
"Wow, that's an amazing awesome feeling," Snappy said. "The only problem is, it makes your nose run like smurfy afterward."
Lazy could feel his nose running. "Oops...I've got to be careful with this!" he said while laughing.
"Don't worry about that, Lazy," Nat said. "You smurf enough of those, you'll get used to the after-effects."
"All right, my little Smurfs, it's time for Lazy to smurf a wish and blow out the candles," Papa Smurf said, as Handy produced a staircase ladder to the top of the cake where the candles were placed.
Lazy went up to the top of the cake and looked at the candle, which was also in a shade of green. "Oh boy...what to wish for...what to wish for...," he said to himself. Then he took in a big breath and blew out the candles as the other Smurfs cheered.
"The first slice of the cake goes to Lazy, to see how he likes his special smurfday cake," Greedy said, as he cut out a slice and put it on a plate.
Lazy took a bite out of the slice. "Ohhhh...mmmmm...wow, that's amazing! I could feel every smurf of me tingling all over with this cake!" Already Lazy could see his vision blurring and colors becoming unusually brighter as the effects of the ingredients mixed into the cake have started to take its effect.
"Be careful, Lazy," Papa Smurf said with a chuckle. "We don't want you smurfing out before you get to smurf everything else in your party."
"You mean there's more?" Lazy asked, sounding curious.
"That's not all we have for this year's smurfday surprise, Lazy," Handy said. "Tapper and I have been smurfing together a little something that I think all the Smurfs will want to enjoy...it's a special smurfing pool full of Tapper's homemade sarsaparilla ale."
"Aye, not only can you swim in this pool, you can also drink the water," Tapper said. "This pool is made to make you feel smurfy all over."
"Oh, Handy...oh, Tapper...you shouldn't have smurfed this all for me on my smurfday," Lazy said, amazed by the sight of the smurfing pool full of sarsaparilla ale. "This is really one of the best smurfday surprises that I have ever smurfed."
"Well, go in and smurf a dip, laddie," Duncan said.
"Last Smurf in is a rotten Smurf," Lazy called out as he raced toward the smurfing pool and dived in headfirst into the foaming brown liquid that felt so smooth and delicious drinking. Some of the other Smurfs followed and got totally sloshed as they swam and drank the water.
"I...love Handy's new smurfing pool," Grouchy said as he rose up in the ale with a hiccup.
All the Smurfs were having fun eating cake and swimming in Handy and Tapper's sarsaparilla ale pool, feeling so immensely good that Lazy had to think that the whole thing felt like a dream. There was no way that such a thing could possibly happen in reality, he thought.
"Well, well, well, I finally have you Smurfs right where I want you," a familiar evil voice said as he and his cat let out a laugh.
Lazy was surprised to find out who it was that just crashed their party. "Gargamel! What do you want with us?"
"Oh, I was invited to this party by Papa Smurf, since he saw what a changed man I am after I renounced my vow of revenge upon you Smurfs," Gargamel said. "Besides that, I have discovered the wondrous joys of smurfnip, which has made and my cat feel really good inside...even better than the thought of ever having Smurfs for dinner. And of course, I have you, little Smurf, to thank for always getting my cat to feel rather funny after leading him into catnip all these years. Apparently he just can't seem to get enough of the plant."
Azrael let out a meow that sounded like he was totally intoxicated with the stuff.
"Well, help yourself to the wonderful cake that Greedy made," Lazy said. "There's more than enough for everybody at this party."
"Oh, don't mind if I do," Gargamel said as Greedy served him a slice, which he quickly ate. "Mmmmmm...this definitely tastes like food of the gods."
"This has got to be the strangest smurfday party that I ever had," Lazy said as he dove back into the sarsaparilla ale. As Lazy floated on his back in the pool of ale, watching the Smurfs dancing around with pink elephants and mushrooms with eyes, he was singing:
I smurf trees of green, red roses too.
I smurf them bloom for me and you,
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
I smurf skies of blue, and clouds of white,
The bright smurfed day, the dark smurfed night,
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
The colors of the rainbow, so smurfy in the sky,
Are also on the faces of Smurfs that go by.
I see friends smurfing hands, saying 'How do you do?'
They're really saying, 'I love you.'
I smurf babies cry, I watch Smurflings grow.
They'll smurf much more than I'll ever know,
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
And as he finished the song, and heard the crowd chanting, "Lazy...Lazy...Lazy...," he found himself sinking in the pool of ale, unable to surface, and watching everything in his world suddenly go black, though he could still hear his name being called.
"Lazy, Lazy, it's time to wake up," a female voice called out.
Lazy found himself opening his eyes, and seeing Smurfette with Empath. "Oh, hi, Smurfette...is it time for my smurfday party? I can't wait to see what the others have smurfed for me."
"This smurf senses that you had an interesting dream while you were resting in wait for the birthday party to start," Empath said.
"You wouldn't believe the dream if I had smurfed you, Empath," Lazy said as he got up to join Empath and Smurfette in going to the party.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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VicGeorge2010
Super Smurf
Member # 300
Member Rated:
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posted 05-28-2021 06:23 AM
This story was supposed to be an improvement of previous efforts such as "Lure Of The Orb" and "Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue". However, the message of the story isn't so much that "drugs are bad", but more that "treating recreational drug users like criminals is bad". It's supposed to have the Smurfs (and hopefully the readers) make up their own minds to avoid drugs, working on the good faith of people making sound decisions rather than a total prohibition that encourages bad behavior.
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VIC GEORGE -- Westfield, MA, USA
"Cat and mouse games really aren't much fun for us mouse types" -- Empath from "Empath The Bandit Smurf"
Posts: 3920 | From: Westfield, MA | Registered: Mar 2003
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