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Author
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Topic: What's everysmurf smurfin' at? (Jokes)
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 05-27-2016 11:48 AM
I can't think of any jokes at the moment for some reason, but here's a skit that I made up:
(Note: this isn't ment sterile typical or racist of anyone, this is just a skit )
Lad: (Wearing a kilt) "Thankyou! And for me next dance-"
Lass: (Comes in (representing an American teenager) talking on her cell phone and has a LOT of shopping bags.) "Yes mom, I didn't spend too much on these pair of boots... Only like $350, but no biggie!"
Lad: (Turns and notices her)
Lass: (Looks at him) "OMG! Are you transgender?!! "
Lad: "What?! No!"
Lass: "Then why are you wearing a dress?!"
Lad: "Its not a dress! It's a kilt!"
Lass: (As she takes a picture...) "Yah, whatever!"
Lass: (Texting on her phone) "Dude wearing a dress... LOL! LOL! #crazzzzyyyyy!
Lad: (Rolls his eyes)
Lad: "For me next dance, I would like someone to do it with me."
Lad: (Turns to the lass) " Would you like to do it with me?"
Lass: (Putting the bags down) "Sure."
Lad: "Ok, do you know how?"
Lass: "Of course I know how!"
Lass: ( Then she gets down and does a Russian dance!)" Hup Hup Hup!"
Lad: " No! That's not it!"
Lass: "It's not?.... Oh! Gotcha!
Lass: (Then the lassie does gangeman style) "Woup! Woup!"
Lad: "No! That's not it either! Try again lass."
Lass: "Ah, ok." ( she then does the hokie pokie) "You put your right foot in! You take your right foot out! You-"
Lad: "Ok! No! I know you know what the hokie pokie is! Why would you intentionally do that?!"
Lass: " Well, I was addicted to the hokie pokie, but then I turned myself around!"
Lad: (Rolls his eyes and smiles, trying not to laugh)
Lad: ( Does the motions while explaining) "Ok, so you keep your arms to your sides. Then you put your foot out like this. Then you move it like this, see?"
Lass: "Uh-huh! " (While looking at her phone)
Lad: "And then you move like this-"
Lass: I got it.
Lad: What? Are you-"
Lass: " Yah! Yah! I got it! " (As she steps in front of him)
Lad: "Ok, if you say so lass..."
Lass: "Que the music!"
(Tell me my then comes on and the lass does an Irish dance)
Lad: (Watches in amazement)
Lad: "How did you do that lassie?!"
Lass: ( looking at her phone) Someone just posted the Just Dance video on Twitter!" (And hold up her phone)
END. ![[Happy Smurf]](graemlins/Happy_Smurf.gif)
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Nikki-Smurfling
Collector Smurf
Member # 5441
Member Rated:
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posted 05-27-2016 12:47 PM
Knock knock.
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Life is short. Live it while you can, and live each day like your last.
Posts: 258 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2014
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 05-27-2016 01:07 PM
Who's there?
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Nikki-Smurfling
Collector Smurf
Member # 5441
Member Rated:
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posted 05-28-2016 01:43 PM
Old Lady
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Life is short. Live it while you can, and live each day like your last.
Posts: 258 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2014
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 05-28-2016 03:06 PM
Old Lady who?
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Nikki-Smurfling
Collector Smurf
Member # 5441
Member Rated:
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posted 05-30-2016 04:41 PM
I didn't know ye could yodel!!! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Life is short. Live it while you can, and live each day like your last.
Posts: 258 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2014
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 05-30-2016 06:37 PM
It really doesn't make since....but it made me laugh!
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Nikki-Smurfling
Collector Smurf
Member # 5441
Member Rated:
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posted 05-31-2016 06:07 AM
Want another one?
What did the sleeping kitten on the table say to the dog?
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Life is short. Live it while you can, and live each day like your last.
Posts: 258 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2014
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 05-31-2016 06:43 AM
I donno, what?
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Nikki-Smurfling
Collector Smurf
Member # 5441
Member Rated:
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posted 05-31-2016 08:38 AM
“ssssshhhhhh! I'm nap-kin!"
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Life is short. Live it while you can, and live each day like your last.
Posts: 258 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2014
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Century Smurf
Super Smurf
Member # 5741
Member Rated:
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posted 05-31-2016 08:41 AM
Ha, ha, ha!
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"Read about me in the Smurf comic book 'The Hundredth Smurf!'"
Posts: 444 | From: Most likely, it's my house. | Registered: Dec 2015
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 05-31-2016 08:43 AM
Ha ha! Funny
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 08-10-2016 07:23 AM
Brain thinkers:
~ If sand is called "sand" because it's between sea and land, then what is "air" ?
~ How does the "five second rule" apply to soup?
~ If a soapy bar of soap falls on a dirty floor, which is dirtier? The floor or the bar of soap?
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> In the family, there are 7 sisters, each of them have 1 brother, how many children are there overall?
> What comes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4?
> How many animals did Moses take on the Ark with him?
Dare to see if you can figure them out ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
P.S. Is anyone offended by blond jokes?
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Century Smurf
Super Smurf
Member # 5741
Member Rated:
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posted 08-10-2016 04:57 PM
Hmm... Those are good! In answer to the first question, "air" must be called "air" because it's between the... I don't know. The "a" must be the first letter of one word, and the "ir" must be the last two letters of another word. I think the "a" part is "atmosphere", like the top of Earth's atmoshere, where the air is the thinnest, and "ir" could be dirt if there were a "t". So I'm not sure about that second part, but I'll keep thinking! Is the first part "atmosphere"?
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"Read about me in the Smurf comic book 'The Hundredth Smurf!'"
Posts: 444 | From: Most likely, it's my house. | Registered: Dec 2015
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 08-10-2016 05:48 PM
Aye, that it is! The first and the second ones I actually got from me brother. Whenever we think of these things, we just blurt them out. They do say that great minds think alike... ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Have you figured out the answer to any of the others?
Oh, and do you mind if I post some blond jokes?
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 08-10-2016 05:57 PM
What do you call 10000 white people skydiving?
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 08-11-2016 10:32 AM
YES! Snow is the answer!
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 08-11-2016 11:28 AM
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Smurfy1For2
Blue Believer
Member # 1224
Member Rated:
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posted 08-12-2016 04:15 AM
![[yum!]](graemlins/yumyum.gif) ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) ![[Cool]](cool.gif) ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) ![[Vanity Smurf]](graemlins/Vanity_Smurf.gif) ![[Smurfette]](graemlins/smurfette.gif) very funny!
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u wished u rocked as i
Posts: 1970 | From: Fairfield, VA | Registered: Nov 2005
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 08-12-2016 04:36 AM
Thanks
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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Redneck Smurfette
Super Smurf
Member # 5521
Member Rated:
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posted 08-14-2016 01:22 PM
I don't know, what?
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Man...An Irish-Redneck-Lass...You guys are in trouble!;)
"The Irish gave the Scottish bagpipes as a joke....The Scots haven't figured it out yet."
Posts: 823 | From: Ireland, doing and Irish dance probably... | Registered: Mar 2015
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