This is topic Brewer Smurf's Shop Is Open in forum Role Play Forum at Smurfs Collector Bulletin Board System.
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Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-08-2019 12:28 AM:
He's standing there, leaning on the coutner, buff as anything, rowdy as anything. He's offering you a mysterious beverage. do you drin k it ? y/n
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-08-2019 12:31 AM:
Brainy smurf is ther.e He's not happy. But he's there, and he's struggling to read his book, despite whats happening. Do you struggle too?
Brewer tells him to clean his glasses. Oh. That's helped.
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-08-2019 12:31 AM:
*slurps it up in one massive gulp with my frog tongue*
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-08-2019 12:33 AM:
Smurfette takes six points of bludgeoning damage, due to the amount of toxins in this accursed brew.
It tastes like cinnamon and anise. It's actually pretty good. But Also very poisonous. Brewer is waiting for your reveiws. What do you do?
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-08-2019 12:33 AM:
Brainy i have on and off depression my wife left me and she took the kids
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-08-2019 12:34 AM:
Brainy doesn't look up from his book.
"I'm pregnant. Don't talk to me. " He says, which shocks you, for reasons, like his unpleasant dispotaion.
"your wife has been dead for 180 yeras" brewer says
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-08-2019 12:36 AM:
It’ll take more arsenic than that to kill this smurf, ribbit ribbit
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-08-2019 12:37 AM:
THE PUBLIC DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THAT YET BREWER YOU KILLED MY WIFE
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-08-2019 12:38 AM:
"Ah, arsenic- a fine choice!" Brewer says, pulling a bottle down from his shelf, powerfully, **********ly, as it was a gift from his hubsnads.
"Now, there's none in that mix, but I think its JUST what it needs for this brew.... "
Brainy takes 18 points of psychic damage. What doy ou do?
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-08-2019 12:38 AM:
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-08-2019 12:39 AM:
"Smurfette you are your wife"
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-08-2019 12:40 AM:
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-08-2019 12:42 AM:
[[MUN NOTE: THIS SITE DOESNT LET ME USE THE LANGUAGE I NEED TO DESCRIBE MY SMURFSONA, BUTS ITS OK, I WILL FIND WORKAROUNDS]]
Brainy is considering the dark writings of his forbidden tome. The Time is now 5 am. What would you like to do?
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-08-2019 12:50 AM:
Bedtime bedtime bedtime
Posted by mtlanayru (Member # 7162) on 08-08-2019 10:57 AM:
*walks into brewer smurfs shop£ hi do u have any artisinal microbrew ipas?
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-09-2019 10:40 PM:
*dings the bell* *dings the bell* *dings the bell* brewer you ******* where is my root beer
Posted by Ariel author of The Lost Smurfette (Member # 5345) on 08-10-2019 04:54 PM:
Walks in, waves to Brewer
Nothing too strong tonight, my friend... I've got a long trip in the morni--
Sees Brainy... Blushes and turns to leave...
◻ Stop her?
◻ Let her go?
◻ Pretend she wasn't even there?
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-10-2019 09:32 PM:
Brewer laughs, leaning on the counter.
"'S only one of me here, mate, its nothin but microbrewin'. Dunno about artisanal, but I've got a couple of ipas here- brewed with a whole hop head. Bitter as smurf, but I've had a few smurfs come by what loved it." He says, without a shred of irony in that tiny little head. Theres no artifice to him. just incredibly genuine about this hellcraft he performs.
Brewer is smacking you with a broom trying to chase you out of their store.
Despite saying this, he's still holding a bucket of rootbeer for you. You dont get a bottle, on account of you are a nasty little goblins
@Ariel author of The Lost Smurfette
Unfortunately, Brewer is terrible, and is already approaching.
"Ah- hold on, just a moment, I got some smurfberry cider what's pretty light. Over here-"
While they bustle around, Brainy looks up from his book for just a moment, and gives Ariel a bit of a nod, a brief "Oh- hello-" before he gets distracted again, eyes drifting back as he buries his head once more in his book, mumbling a little as he turns the page.
Brewer has not noticed this. Brewer is just rambling away about how he's experimenting with a mix of pear and smurfberry for his latest cider batch, and how he's only taken it to 4% abv, instead of the standard 7, something light, you know-
Posted by Ariel author of The Lost Smurfette (Member # 5345) on 08-11-2019 06:59 AM:
Sighs, and turns back to speak with Brainy
Brainy? Look, I know you're still probably mad at me for smurfing from the altar on you those 190 years ago... And I'm sorry to hear what happened to your other wife... But I... I think it's time we let go of what's smurfed and passed... Father... Er... Papa Smurf is sending me on an important mission in the morning... I hope you will be there to see me off... If you want to talk more, tonight, you know where to find me...
She walks away with Brewer...
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-11-2019 02:58 PM:
Brewer, elbow deep now in cider bottles, says softly "Ma'am, this is a brewery"
Brainy, however, looks more startled than anything, ears pricked back and going a little purple, soon pink at the tips.
"Uh- uh-" Is all he can manage to say for a moment, before he gathers himself and says,
"I, uh- I think you, have the wrong... What? I-I mean, that all sounds. Very, smurfy, of you to say, but, uh. I'm... gay? I only- well, I try to date men, I'm not very- nevermind. I've never, wife? Or, you, um- sorry, but, I hope you. Figure things out, with, uh... your fiancee?"
He's stumbling over his words, hands gesturing wildly, book left abandoned on the counter as he tries to figure out exactly what any of this means. He's just a simple single dad to be trying to read in a friends shop, this is all a lot to take in at once!
"I can... still see you off, though, if you want?"
Brewer doesn't look up from his bottle crimes, and says a bit louder this time, "So, how many ciders you want?"
Posted by Ariel author of The Lost Smurfette (Member # 5345) on 08-11-2019 06:41 PM:
It was her turn to be utterly embarrassed... She turned not only deep purple, but bright red, almost the same shade as Papa Smurf's hat... She was sweating bullets as she apologized to the poor smurf....
I-I'm smurfully sorry, sir... I thought... I mean you looked like someone I used to-- I... I'll just be on my way, now... I'm so sorry...
Posted by Ariel author of The Lost Smurfette (Member # 5345) on 08-11-2019 07:02 PM:
Walks out into the snow...
What's smurfing on? I don't even remember the last 190 years... Almost as if I was--
trips over a stone slab
>oof!< Wh-what in smurf's name? A-a grave? Here? Wha--
Wipes it off and reads it...
W-wait! Th-that's my name! This thing is dated from 190 years ago! B-but what about-?
Hers eyes widened in shock...
Then that would have to mean...
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-11-2019 07:41 PM:
I’m doing sick vape tricks in the corner of Brewer’s pub watching this all go down
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-12-2019 01:12 AM:
Brainy scratches at his cheek, laughing a little awkwardly.
"N-no, no, it's fine, it's fine, I- Don't, uh. Worry about it? It's- I won't lie, it's. It's a lot, but, it's like papa smurf always says, 'If i got mad every time someone mistook me for their dead husband, I would have been mad eight times.'
...Which, uh, I don't really understand, but at least its finally come in handy?"
Brainy's more talking to himself at this point, because Ariel has already left the store, Brewer trailing after, and he's being slowly enveloped in the premium cotton Smurfette is ripping. he hates your peach vape fog.
"this cant be good for the smurfling-" he says, but everyone knows this is a lie. its just flavoured sugar water.
"Oh, you found my gravestones!" Brewer says, following Ariel out, clapping his hands together in delight.
"I carved 'em for halloween, think I made one for you in there- forgot to ever take them down."
They look so proud of this, brushing snow away from a few more, revealing that yes. Brewer has just filled his front yard with gravestones. For some reason.
Posted by smurfberries (Member # 6807) on 08-12-2019 01:22 AM:
“If you ever play anything but two trucks by lemon demon in this bar again, i’ll never do my vape tricks here ever again.”
Posted by Ariel author of The Lost Smurfette (Member # 5345) on 08-12-2019 06:29 AM:
Her body is now as see-through as mist... She turns to face him... She has aged tremendously... Tears moist on her cheeks...
I am afraid this stone is not of your decorations... You see... I remember, now... I died on my last mission 190 years ago... I was 410... Your village's Papa was once my Brainy...
She fades away, leaving a blue orb of light behind
Posted by papaya (Member # 7154) on 08-12-2019 03:35 PM:
Brewer raises an eyebrow, looking at the distinct signature hand carved into the stones he bought off Clumsy.
“...Smurfin’ ghosts.” He says. “Any excuse to not pay for their drinks.”
They bump the door into their mushroom back open with their hip, becoming enveloped by the cotton.
“Why would I ever change it from two trucks. Don’t be ridiculous. You know I can’t afford the smoke machine.”
Brainy asks after a moment, and Brewer rolls his eyes.
“Just embarrassed, I think. Smurfed off without her cider n some story about Papa using Brainy as a name when he was younger, pretending we don’t know she’s buried in the cemetery. Like we didn’t go to her funeral? Like I’m some sorta 180 year old smurfling-“
They gesture broadly as soon as they’ve set the bottles on the counter, constantly beset by ghosts and their antics.
“Like Papa ever shuts up about how proud he was to be named Papa at birth, smurf-“
Brainy’s laugh is an ugly snort, one he quickly covers up behind his hand with a bit of a flush. How inelegant!
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